Celto-Germanics
Iron
- Joined
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LIVING HIGH LIVING LOW:
For your finances, there is little worse you can do than living above your means. Living significantly BELOW your means is an incredible way to get ahead.
For your diet, there is little worse you can do than overcomplicating or binging. Eating a consistent, healthy diet is a game changer when it comes to achieving your goals.
For your stress, economic insecurity is a sure way to spike cortisol and fuck up your gains. The pressure associated with deciding HOW to spend and HOW MUCH to spend is a daily issue for many. Plus, how are you going to afford all of those drugs if you're spending $3.50 on coffee every morning? That's ~$1277 a year! Do you know how many pharmaceuticals that can get you? Needless to say, having a cortisol spike whenever you open your bank account is certainly suboptimal.
If any of this is even slightly relatable or a concern of yours, this misermaxxing guide might be for you!
WHAT IS MISERMAXXING?
The goal of this guide is to teach you how best to spend as little money as possible without sacrificing your health or safety. A miser is someone who lives a very bare bones life while hoarding up his wealth like a dragon. This is the best way to save money for future projects, whether it's that stack you always wanted to try, some schizo cosmetic surgery, or even more conventional things like a house or retirement whatever (boring!) I'm not suggesting to do this forever, but there is a genuine utility for this type of living in order to fill your coffers. This is ESPECIALLY good for people with high paying jobs who find that they're ending the month with an empty bank account. This is also amazing for genuinely poor people who are living paycheck to paycheck and see no way out.
A good budget should do the following:
1. (obviously) keep your spending as low as possible compared to your income.
2. Meet all of your needs.
3. Not cause undue stress.
4. Be generally healthy and safe.
If it does not, then it is not a good idea longterm. You can live a surprisingly minimal lifestyle while still fulfilling these criteria, though. You just need to know how.
PREREQUISITES AND DISCLAIMERS:
Im writing this guide as an American for an American audience. It should still work in other western countries, maybe even better, but you will have to pick up the slack in certain areas where resources/strategies are very America-centric.
To follow this correctly you need to be:
- Single
- Live alone (or rent to parents that hate you)
- Have the ability to digest lactose (optional if you're ok with building tolerance)
- Have access to an oven and cooking supplies
- Be willing to learn how to cook basic meals and experience trial and error
- Not rely on going outside to money wasting activities for your entertainment
- Have a stable source of income to store wealth from.
- Have friends willing to entertain your comic miserly cheapness
With that out of the way, let us begin.
CHAPTER ONE: FINDING A PLACE TO LIVE
Renting:
Tl/dr: Look on craigslist for the cheapest apartments.
With Parents:
Tl/dr: If they don't actively fuck with your plans it is a pretty good choice. Otherwise, stay away.
Purchasing a House:
Homeless:
Tl/dr: probably not the best option unless you are certain the resources you have at your disposal can get you through.
CHAPTER TWO: TRANSPORTATION
Obviously you need to get around, but what's the best way?
CHAPTER THREE: DIET
This may sound a little schizo, but I believe I have found the cheapest possible way to achieve a high protein diet. It is very difficult, but you will find it to be very rewarding as I have found it to be so. This is probably the most crucial part of the whole guide, so do not skip. I can get your daily costs down to literal pocket change.
Easier Dieting
Tl/dr: Really it's hard to condense, but the cheapest high protein source is Vital Wheat Gluten bought in bulk (200 grams protein is $1.21 daily), so just eat that with l-lysine to make up for deficiency, simple carbs and take a multivitamin.
CHAPTER 4: THRIFTING
All you niggas who took the fashion pill are going to love this one. NEVER BUY NEW CLOTHES! You can find fancy ass clothes at the thrift shop, like Macklemore! Big ass coats look aesthetic as fuck. Try to cultivate some sort of 50s intellectual look. You can always get clothes altered for cheap too. $5 for nice dress slacks and $10 for alterations is still about $75 less than you would otherwise be paying for them new. Unfortunately since vintage has gotten popular this is a little harder. Check out all of the thrift stores in your area and check for good shit.
Another underrated thrifting item is appliances, utensils and furniture. I got a teapot I use frequently for something like $1.50 at a goodwill a couple months ago. Especially if you just moved into a new place, this can turn a multiple thousand dollar furnishing job into a ~$100.
CHAPTER 5: STORING WEALTH
To keep you on track, you have to get the majority of your money AWAY. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
Basic Savings:
Dragonmaxxing:
Valuable metals like gold silver and platinum are a great thing to get into as well once you get enough money stored away. So stable that they're incredibly low stress as far as investments go. They will give you better returns than the high yield savings account but you have to have a good seller who won't screw you over and also know who to sell to. Fees and hucksters can get weird and really fuck with you margins. Metals are good partially for this reason: they are a little hassle to sell. You're less likely to dip into your supply for that exact reason.
Tangibles are always quite fun, just don't get robbed! Speaking of, guns, especially collectable guns, retain value quite nicely too. Keep the ammo purchases to a minimum though, that can wrack up.
CHAPTER 6: OTHER CONSIDERATIONS
Since you've taken the miserpill, you should live by one rule: PICK THE CHEAPEST OPTION NO MATTER WHAT. Gym? Cheapest option. You don't need a sauna. You just need workout equipment. If you want a sauna drive around without air conditioning all summer. Entertainment? Go to the library and read a book, it'll be good for you! Best part: ITS FREE! Get a safety razor, get the cheapest phone plan, get the cheapest internet, etc. It's really self explanatory from there.
Unfortunately, dates are a little harder to finesse your way out of as a cheapskate. Coffee is fine, but honestly I'm so cheap it sounds like a nightmare. Go hiking, go to the park, do something outdoorsy! Foids love that! And guess what... ITS FREE!
The key though that even though you act poor, she has to know you aren't. Maybe tell her your money is all locked up or something. It probably is if you follow chapter 5 well! She'll nag you about it, but stay cheap! She will hopefully want you not because you buy her things, but because you're rich... because you are! If you can afford that limb lengthening + double jaw surgery combo and ascend, the bp says it doesn't matter what you buy her anyway, so does it really matter?
CONCLUSION
There are obviously aspects I did not go over here, but I think following these principles will allow you to have a shit ton of excess money. Cutting out unnecessary spending at this level will 100% improve your finances and lower stress, and therefore improve your life. There is no reason not to be a miser for at least a while, especially if you're single and have no life like most of you. Thank you for reading.
(pictured: example of successful povertymaxxed misercel. Moggs your bank account)
UPDATE NOTES: Title change, added multiple spoilers, added multiple images, added extra section. Also, old thread buried during lag spike.
For your finances, there is little worse you can do than living above your means. Living significantly BELOW your means is an incredible way to get ahead.
For your diet, there is little worse you can do than overcomplicating or binging. Eating a consistent, healthy diet is a game changer when it comes to achieving your goals.
For your stress, economic insecurity is a sure way to spike cortisol and fuck up your gains. The pressure associated with deciding HOW to spend and HOW MUCH to spend is a daily issue for many. Plus, how are you going to afford all of those drugs if you're spending $3.50 on coffee every morning? That's ~$1277 a year! Do you know how many pharmaceuticals that can get you? Needless to say, having a cortisol spike whenever you open your bank account is certainly suboptimal.
If any of this is even slightly relatable or a concern of yours, this misermaxxing guide might be for you!
WHAT IS MISERMAXXING?
The goal of this guide is to teach you how best to spend as little money as possible without sacrificing your health or safety. A miser is someone who lives a very bare bones life while hoarding up his wealth like a dragon. This is the best way to save money for future projects, whether it's that stack you always wanted to try, some schizo cosmetic surgery, or even more conventional things like a house or retirement whatever (boring!) I'm not suggesting to do this forever, but there is a genuine utility for this type of living in order to fill your coffers. This is ESPECIALLY good for people with high paying jobs who find that they're ending the month with an empty bank account. This is also amazing for genuinely poor people who are living paycheck to paycheck and see no way out.
A good budget should do the following:
1. (obviously) keep your spending as low as possible compared to your income.
2. Meet all of your needs.
3. Not cause undue stress.
4. Be generally healthy and safe.
If it does not, then it is not a good idea longterm. You can live a surprisingly minimal lifestyle while still fulfilling these criteria, though. You just need to know how.
PREREQUISITES AND DISCLAIMERS:
Im writing this guide as an American for an American audience. It should still work in other western countries, maybe even better, but you will have to pick up the slack in certain areas where resources/strategies are very America-centric.
To follow this correctly you need to be:
- Single
- Live alone (or rent to parents that hate you)
- Have the ability to digest lactose (optional if you're ok with building tolerance)
- Have access to an oven and cooking supplies
- Be willing to learn how to cook basic meals and experience trial and error
- Not rely on going outside to money wasting activities for your entertainment
- Have a stable source of income to store wealth from.
- Have friends willing to entertain your comic miserly cheapness
With that out of the way, let us begin.
CHAPTER ONE: FINDING A PLACE TO LIVE
Renting:
Its very hard to find a cheap place using the regular apps like zillow. Look for ads in other places, sketchy landlords, telephone poles, and on craigslist especially. Your apartment is not s status symbol. It's a place to sleep and cook. As long as it fulfills that purpose, you should be ready and willing to live there.
Even in my super high rent area in NH I can find apartments in good areas with utilities for under $1000. I can find an $18/hr job here in a day. Shitty rural areas offer even cheaper stuff.
You can also locationmax into a low income area if you have a widely in demand career or a remote job. You can find totally passable apartments for under $600 a month in places like Mississippi.
The key here is to always visit before living there, have a solid exit plan if things aren't how they should be, and MAKE SURE you have ready access to an oven and range. I cannot tell you how many people get the cheapest studio apartment available and waste all their hard earned money on expensive fast food because all they have to cook with is a microwave. There are ways to cook with just a microwave too, but it is admittedly suboptimal.
Applying for subsidized housing is a good way to go if your income is low enough, but this is only a temporary solution as you should ideally be finding subsidized housing prices on a lower middle class+ budget. It is the way to go if your income is super shit and you want to capitalize on it.
Even in my super high rent area in NH I can find apartments in good areas with utilities for under $1000. I can find an $18/hr job here in a day. Shitty rural areas offer even cheaper stuff.
You can also locationmax into a low income area if you have a widely in demand career or a remote job. You can find totally passable apartments for under $600 a month in places like Mississippi.
The key here is to always visit before living there, have a solid exit plan if things aren't how they should be, and MAKE SURE you have ready access to an oven and range. I cannot tell you how many people get the cheapest studio apartment available and waste all their hard earned money on expensive fast food because all they have to cook with is a microwave. There are ways to cook with just a microwave too, but it is admittedly suboptimal.
Applying for subsidized housing is a good way to go if your income is low enough, but this is only a temporary solution as you should ideally be finding subsidized housing prices on a lower middle class+ budget. It is the way to go if your income is super shit and you want to capitalize on it.
Tl/dr: Look on craigslist for the cheapest apartments.
With Parents:
Living with parents is a tricky one. It is theoretically very optimal but often if your parents have any sort of hope or respect for you they will want to do things with you, have you run errands for them, go on vacations with you, have meals with you, ETC. All of these things can throw a wrench in your goals of absolute efficiency. Also, parents are very good at spiking cortisol because they raised you and loved you as a child. Their unique ability to stress you out is suboptimal and you should aim to talk to them as little as possible. Living with parents is a very VERY good option if a couple of standards are met.
1. (pretty obvious) They do not demand more rent from you than would be otherwise available using the previous strategy
2. They do not demand much of you while encouraging your goals OR hate you and hope to avoid all interaction with you
3. They are financially responsible and will not come looking for bailouts from your dragons hoard when things get dicey
4. They do not encourage your participation in their wasteful activities (vacations, eating out, going to costly events, etc.)
5. They are not naggy and don't want you out of the house as quickly as possible.
This is a very valid strategy if these are true for you. Otherwise you might be better off living alone.
1. (pretty obvious) They do not demand more rent from you than would be otherwise available using the previous strategy
2. They do not demand much of you while encouraging your goals OR hate you and hope to avoid all interaction with you
3. They are financially responsible and will not come looking for bailouts from your dragons hoard when things get dicey
4. They do not encourage your participation in their wasteful activities (vacations, eating out, going to costly events, etc.)
5. They are not naggy and don't want you out of the house as quickly as possible.
This is a very valid strategy if these are true for you. Otherwise you might be better off living alone.
Tl/dr: If they don't actively fuck with your plans it is a pretty good choice. Otherwise, stay away.
Purchasing a House:
I really don't recommend this one in most places. Maybe after a couple years of misermaxxing you can afford one. If you live in Detroit or Saint Louis or a rural backwater this is much more doable.
Pros: Asset that accrues value. After its paid off it doesn't cost you anything besides taxes, utilities, and upkeep. Might even make you some good money.
Cons: high barrier to entry, potential liability and major stressor, most likely to get you in eternal debt unless you've povertymaxxed for a couple years before your purchase.
Pros: Asset that accrues value. After its paid off it doesn't cost you anything besides taxes, utilities, and upkeep. Might even make you some good money.
Cons: high barrier to entry, potential liability and major stressor, most likely to get you in eternal debt unless you've povertymaxxed for a couple years before your purchase.
Homeless:
This is THEORETICALLY the best option as it costs nothing, but its basically unachievable. I have some ideas on how to get there, but it certainly isn't easy.
1. You have to find a safe place to sleep with little discomfort and security
2. You need to have a safe place to consistently go to the bathroom, shower, shave, etc. (gym is best for this)
3. You need to have a safe place to consistently store your food, cook, and eat. (Community centers and religious institutions are probably the best option for this. I am pretty certain if I asked my priest if I could access the church kitchen and pantry for personal use he would be fine with it as long as I cleaned up after myself and didn't mess with community supplies, ESPECIALLY if he knew I was homeless.)
4. You need ready access to public transportation or free parking.
It is certainly doable but not likely, especially while keeping stress levels down. If you can find a way to reasonably do this without fucking with your cortisol, I tip my hat to you.
1. You have to find a safe place to sleep with little discomfort and security
2. You need to have a safe place to consistently go to the bathroom, shower, shave, etc. (gym is best for this)
3. You need to have a safe place to consistently store your food, cook, and eat. (Community centers and religious institutions are probably the best option for this. I am pretty certain if I asked my priest if I could access the church kitchen and pantry for personal use he would be fine with it as long as I cleaned up after myself and didn't mess with community supplies, ESPECIALLY if he knew I was homeless.)
4. You need ready access to public transportation or free parking.
It is certainly doable but not likely, especially while keeping stress levels down. If you can find a way to reasonably do this without fucking with your cortisol, I tip my hat to you.
Tl/dr: probably not the best option unless you are certain the resources you have at your disposal can get you through.
CHAPTER TWO: TRANSPORTATION
Obviously you need to get around, but what's the best way?
This section is quite simple because there are basically three options.
1. Car
2. Public transport
3. Walking/Biking
For the car, ask everyone you know if they know a mechanic that can inspect the cheapest shit you find on facebook marketplace for FREE. Find one that works well enough to get you to around without being a massive money sink. If you stalk the markets enough you can probably get one for 1500 or less (wow that's less than you spend on food in a year!)
Public transport can be good if it is cheap and safe. Gauge this by doing a couple of trial runs on the bus, train, tram or whatever. Make sure you find the BEST PAYMENT METHOD. Most public transit networks have different plans for different applications. If you can figure out a way to ride without paying consequence free... don't do it you BUM.
Walking and biking are basically only possible if you're a eurofag or live in some sort of unicorn community in the US/Canada/Australia. Or if you're willing to make daily transport your cardio as well. Just watch out for the truckmaxxed gigachads barreling down the street in their GMC sierra at 50mph because even if you can see him, he probably cannot see you. Otherwise, this is objectively the best option because if you get a bike second hand its a negligible price and if you walk you just need to invest in some shoes, and even then you COULD go barefoot and only wear the shoes when its socially necessary.
(Pictured above, top photo, lifted truck splattered in cyclist gore)
Needless to say, this is very area dependent. Just don't be stupid and buy a 100k truck, ok? You don't need that shit.
1. Car
2. Public transport
3. Walking/Biking
For the car, ask everyone you know if they know a mechanic that can inspect the cheapest shit you find on facebook marketplace for FREE. Find one that works well enough to get you to around without being a massive money sink. If you stalk the markets enough you can probably get one for 1500 or less (wow that's less than you spend on food in a year!)
Public transport can be good if it is cheap and safe. Gauge this by doing a couple of trial runs on the bus, train, tram or whatever. Make sure you find the BEST PAYMENT METHOD. Most public transit networks have different plans for different applications. If you can figure out a way to ride without paying consequence free... don't do it you BUM.
Walking and biking are basically only possible if you're a eurofag or live in some sort of unicorn community in the US/Canada/Australia. Or if you're willing to make daily transport your cardio as well. Just watch out for the truckmaxxed gigachads barreling down the street in their GMC sierra at 50mph because even if you can see him, he probably cannot see you. Otherwise, this is objectively the best option because if you get a bike second hand its a negligible price and if you walk you just need to invest in some shoes, and even then you COULD go barefoot and only wear the shoes when its socially necessary.
(Pictured above, top photo, lifted truck splattered in cyclist gore)
Needless to say, this is very area dependent. Just don't be stupid and buy a 100k truck, ok? You don't need that shit.
CHAPTER THREE: DIET
This may sound a little schizo, but I believe I have found the cheapest possible way to achieve a high protein diet. It is very difficult, but you will find it to be very rewarding as I have found it to be so. This is probably the most crucial part of the whole guide, so do not skip. I can get your daily costs down to literal pocket change.
Are you willing to sacrifice comfort for the sake of absolute efficiency? This is the ultimate step to becoming a truly misermaxxed penny pincher. You will be able to put asian families to SHAME with your level of ruthless efficiency.
YEARLY PLAN:
I am 20 years old at 5'11 191 lbs and I exercise 4 times a week. Pretty average (for a white man), so I'm using myself as an example. My maintenance caloric needs are around 2,700 daily. Protein Content will be kept at around 200 grams a day, which is high protein and totally passable for any fitness regimen. You can significantly cheapen this diet by making all of the calories from the protein bread, but this will significantly decrease your protein intake.
Bulk buy
250 lbs of Whole Wheat Flour-$113 (here)
50 lbs Vital Wheat Gluten-$109.99 (here)
100 lbs powdered egg-$771.15 (here)
150 lbs powdered nonfat milk-$458.97 (here)
11 lbs L-Lysine powder-$120.97 (here)
365 Multivitamin tablets-12.99 (here)
Yeast, salt, sugar ETC buy from the grocery store as they are basically negligible macro scale because of low quantities and low price in this diet. Add ~ $100
TOTAL PER YEAR = $1687.07
WHAT YOU WILL USE PER YEAR:
250 lbs Whole Wheat Flour
50 lbs Vital Wheat Gluten
45.63 lbs powdered egg
150 lbs Powdered Milk
3.2 lbs L-Lysine
(It seems like a big investment, but when you consider the average american spends like $3000 a year for shitty food, the perfect diet nutritionally at this rate is a genuine lifesaver.)
NOTE: IN YOUR AREA FRESH EGGS AND FRESH MILK MAY BE CHEAPER! CHECK PRICES BEFORE BUYING
PER DAY NUTRITION
3 Cup Whole Wheat Flour - 52g Protein 1320cal
5/8 Cup Vital Wheat Gluten - 58g Protein 290cal
2 cups Powdered milk - 50g Protein 500cal
80 grams Powdered Egg - 40g protein 500cal
4g L-Lysine a day - 4g protein 20cal
TOTALS:
2630 calories/day
204g protein/day
$4.62/day
L-lysine compensates for reliance on wheat gluten, eggs are a way to get fat in and more animal fat based micronutrients but are expensive compared to the other ingredients, so are kept to a minimum.
Overall, very passable diet which can easily be modified to any light bulk or cut you decide to go on.
PREPARATION
You will be drinking a lot of milk, so if you are lactose intolerant I recommend either finding lactose free powdered milk, or watching this video (link) of a chudette explaining how to build tolerance. Mix in the L-Lysine with the milk.
You've probably realized at this point that this requires BAKING. It sounds hard, but don't worry! I have a foolproof recipe designed for purpose that any retard could master in a couple of tries. Pic Below:
(note: this recipe neglects to mention to place in a well floured bowl covered with towel while rising. You can also score it with a razor blade before baking for the adorable cross)
You will eat a whole loaf daily, or (what I prefer) eat half of today's loaf today, and half of YESTERDAY'S dry loaf, either chewed for the jaw gainz or soaked in the prepared powdered milk. This is a quite pleasant experience.
So, the average meal in a day will look like this:
Delicious, non controversial, low stress and incredibly nutrient dense. Yum!
If you feel your mind slipping, you can allocate excess funds to spicing this diet up with the occasional brick of cheese, onions, or tomatoes. It is weak though. Why waste!? This is all you need.
YEARLY PLAN:
I am 20 years old at 5'11 191 lbs and I exercise 4 times a week. Pretty average (for a white man), so I'm using myself as an example. My maintenance caloric needs are around 2,700 daily. Protein Content will be kept at around 200 grams a day, which is high protein and totally passable for any fitness regimen. You can significantly cheapen this diet by making all of the calories from the protein bread, but this will significantly decrease your protein intake.
Bulk buy
250 lbs of Whole Wheat Flour-$113 (here)
50 lbs Vital Wheat Gluten-$109.99 (here)
100 lbs powdered egg-$771.15 (here)
150 lbs powdered nonfat milk-$458.97 (here)
11 lbs L-Lysine powder-$120.97 (here)
365 Multivitamin tablets-12.99 (here)
Yeast, salt, sugar ETC buy from the grocery store as they are basically negligible macro scale because of low quantities and low price in this diet. Add ~ $100
TOTAL PER YEAR = $1687.07
WHAT YOU WILL USE PER YEAR:
250 lbs Whole Wheat Flour
50 lbs Vital Wheat Gluten
45.63 lbs powdered egg
150 lbs Powdered Milk
3.2 lbs L-Lysine
(It seems like a big investment, but when you consider the average american spends like $3000 a year for shitty food, the perfect diet nutritionally at this rate is a genuine lifesaver.)
NOTE: IN YOUR AREA FRESH EGGS AND FRESH MILK MAY BE CHEAPER! CHECK PRICES BEFORE BUYING
PER DAY NUTRITION
3 Cup Whole Wheat Flour - 52g Protein 1320cal
5/8 Cup Vital Wheat Gluten - 58g Protein 290cal
2 cups Powdered milk - 50g Protein 500cal
80 grams Powdered Egg - 40g protein 500cal
4g L-Lysine a day - 4g protein 20cal
TOTALS:
2630 calories/day
204g protein/day
$4.62/day
L-lysine compensates for reliance on wheat gluten, eggs are a way to get fat in and more animal fat based micronutrients but are expensive compared to the other ingredients, so are kept to a minimum.
Overall, very passable diet which can easily be modified to any light bulk or cut you decide to go on.
PREPARATION
You will be drinking a lot of milk, so if you are lactose intolerant I recommend either finding lactose free powdered milk, or watching this video (link) of a chudette explaining how to build tolerance. Mix in the L-Lysine with the milk.
You've probably realized at this point that this requires BAKING. It sounds hard, but don't worry! I have a foolproof recipe designed for purpose that any retard could master in a couple of tries. Pic Below:
(note: this recipe neglects to mention to place in a well floured bowl covered with towel while rising. You can also score it with a razor blade before baking for the adorable cross)
You will eat a whole loaf daily, or (what I prefer) eat half of today's loaf today, and half of YESTERDAY'S dry loaf, either chewed for the jaw gainz or soaked in the prepared powdered milk. This is a quite pleasant experience.
So, the average meal in a day will look like this:
Delicious, non controversial, low stress and incredibly nutrient dense. Yum!
If you feel your mind slipping, you can allocate excess funds to spicing this diet up with the occasional brick of cheese, onions, or tomatoes. It is weak though. Why waste!? This is all you need.
Easier Dieting
Ahh, well. You aren't cut out for the BIG leagues. Mr Scrooge would be disappointed in you. However, you probably still have a lot of improvement to do in this area anyway, so here are a couple tips.
Always count calories and protein content. This is essential. Eating more than you need or eating suboptimal nutrition is idiotic.
I still recommend bulk buying and my bread recipe (see previous spoiler), but making the investment into fresh produce, meat, etc. can still be optimized.
GROCERY GUIDE:
Generally speaking, grocery stores in poor areas will sell certain items cheaper. Check the prices of all the stores around you and catalogue them. You might need to go to different stores for different things to fully optimize your savings.
Make sure to check the prices and protein efficiency for all of the meats in your grocery store. Here in New Hampshire, the cheapest meat BY FAR is pork, but most cuts are not very healthy. The trick is to find a cut lean enough to fit in your diet but not so expensive that it breaks the bank. Beef round roasts are great for this, very cheap and super lean. If you cook them all the way through they're tough as a rubber band though, so either eat them blue rare or slow pot roast into a sort of stew.
ONLY BUY PRODUCE FROM THE CLEARANCE SECTION! They're giving shit away for free there; I see 50-80% mark downs regularly. Have a couple of good tasting macro friendly vegetable recipes you can easily sub different vegetables for so you have a level of versatility to deal with the whims of the produce section. The only exception few exceptions I will make from this rule is with gourds such as squash and pumpkin. These are incredibly nutritious and incredibly cheap. Also for alliums like onions and garlic since they are very cheap and make other things taste much better than they would otherwise.
Frozen vegetables are also a very valid option if you know how to use them. Consistently cheaper than both fresh and canned (assuming not clearance).
Generally, you need oil to cook. I recommend bulk buying lard. It seems like the least problematic shelf stable cooking oil that tastes both good and neutral. I know seed oil/tallow debates are rampant and I consider lard a pretty safe choice. Less cholesterol than most animal fats, less dubious than seed oils, less expensive than olive oil.
Dairy is good but keep it cheap. Large blocks of lower fat cheese, cheap skim milk, cheap nonfat yogurt, etc. Powdered milk is incredibly cheap in bulk as well, so keep that in mind.
My local store sells a very good sweetener for very cheap called NatraTaste. I prefer aspartame based sweeteners, but I am well aware this is very subjective.
The cheapest way to get caffeine is to buy pure caffeine in bulk, but this is INCREDIBLY RISKY. Many have died mixing their own caffeine drinks. I don't recommend it. Buy energy drinks in bulk (good option) or get one of the MANY bulk coffee options.
Always count calories and protein content. This is essential. Eating more than you need or eating suboptimal nutrition is idiotic.
I still recommend bulk buying and my bread recipe (see previous spoiler), but making the investment into fresh produce, meat, etc. can still be optimized.
GROCERY GUIDE:
Generally speaking, grocery stores in poor areas will sell certain items cheaper. Check the prices of all the stores around you and catalogue them. You might need to go to different stores for different things to fully optimize your savings.
Make sure to check the prices and protein efficiency for all of the meats in your grocery store. Here in New Hampshire, the cheapest meat BY FAR is pork, but most cuts are not very healthy. The trick is to find a cut lean enough to fit in your diet but not so expensive that it breaks the bank. Beef round roasts are great for this, very cheap and super lean. If you cook them all the way through they're tough as a rubber band though, so either eat them blue rare or slow pot roast into a sort of stew.
ONLY BUY PRODUCE FROM THE CLEARANCE SECTION! They're giving shit away for free there; I see 50-80% mark downs regularly. Have a couple of good tasting macro friendly vegetable recipes you can easily sub different vegetables for so you have a level of versatility to deal with the whims of the produce section. The only exception few exceptions I will make from this rule is with gourds such as squash and pumpkin. These are incredibly nutritious and incredibly cheap. Also for alliums like onions and garlic since they are very cheap and make other things taste much better than they would otherwise.
Frozen vegetables are also a very valid option if you know how to use them. Consistently cheaper than both fresh and canned (assuming not clearance).
Generally, you need oil to cook. I recommend bulk buying lard. It seems like the least problematic shelf stable cooking oil that tastes both good and neutral. I know seed oil/tallow debates are rampant and I consider lard a pretty safe choice. Less cholesterol than most animal fats, less dubious than seed oils, less expensive than olive oil.
Dairy is good but keep it cheap. Large blocks of lower fat cheese, cheap skim milk, cheap nonfat yogurt, etc. Powdered milk is incredibly cheap in bulk as well, so keep that in mind.
My local store sells a very good sweetener for very cheap called NatraTaste. I prefer aspartame based sweeteners, but I am well aware this is very subjective.
The cheapest way to get caffeine is to buy pure caffeine in bulk, but this is INCREDIBLY RISKY. Many have died mixing their own caffeine drinks. I don't recommend it. Buy energy drinks in bulk (good option) or get one of the MANY bulk coffee options.
A surprising amount of you guys could probably qualify. No point not trying, it's basically free money.
Tl/dr: Really it's hard to condense, but the cheapest high protein source is Vital Wheat Gluten bought in bulk (200 grams protein is $1.21 daily), so just eat that with l-lysine to make up for deficiency, simple carbs and take a multivitamin.
CHAPTER 4: THRIFTING
All you niggas who took the fashion pill are going to love this one. NEVER BUY NEW CLOTHES! You can find fancy ass clothes at the thrift shop, like Macklemore! Big ass coats look aesthetic as fuck. Try to cultivate some sort of 50s intellectual look. You can always get clothes altered for cheap too. $5 for nice dress slacks and $10 for alterations is still about $75 less than you would otherwise be paying for them new. Unfortunately since vintage has gotten popular this is a little harder. Check out all of the thrift stores in your area and check for good shit.
Another underrated thrifting item is appliances, utensils and furniture. I got a teapot I use frequently for something like $1.50 at a goodwill a couple months ago. Especially if you just moved into a new place, this can turn a multiple thousand dollar furnishing job into a ~$100.
CHAPTER 5: STORING WEALTH
To keep you on track, you have to get the majority of your money AWAY. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
Basic Savings:
I recommend for ease of use just opening a high yield savings account with a bank that isn't your main checking account provider. Make a monthly budget of EXACTLY what you need (bare minimum rent, gas utilities), get an easily accessible 1-2k emergency fund, and after that transfer ALL EXCESS FUNDS to the high yield savings account. Try not to check this thing to often, lest its balance tempt you. Obviously there are better investment strategies, but this is an easy one to follow and requires minimum effort. This can fund whatever you want it to.
Dragonmaxxing:
Valuable metals like gold silver and platinum are a great thing to get into as well once you get enough money stored away. So stable that they're incredibly low stress as far as investments go. They will give you better returns than the high yield savings account but you have to have a good seller who won't screw you over and also know who to sell to. Fees and hucksters can get weird and really fuck with you margins. Metals are good partially for this reason: they are a little hassle to sell. You're less likely to dip into your supply for that exact reason.
Tangibles are always quite fun, just don't get robbed! Speaking of, guns, especially collectable guns, retain value quite nicely too. Keep the ammo purchases to a minimum though, that can wrack up.
It really depends on how blackpilled you are. Bitcoin is probably the only Crypto with solid promise, and then again it could be a psyop. The stock market could go to shit any day of the week. Other methods are just more stable, and nothing is more cortisol spiking than gambling on shitcoins. The intention of this guide is to keep your life generally stress free financially. Speculation does not help with that.
CHAPTER 6: OTHER CONSIDERATIONS
Since you've taken the miserpill, you should live by one rule: PICK THE CHEAPEST OPTION NO MATTER WHAT. Gym? Cheapest option. You don't need a sauna. You just need workout equipment. If you want a sauna drive around without air conditioning all summer. Entertainment? Go to the library and read a book, it'll be good for you! Best part: ITS FREE! Get a safety razor, get the cheapest phone plan, get the cheapest internet, etc. It's really self explanatory from there.
Unfortunately, dates are a little harder to finesse your way out of as a cheapskate. Coffee is fine, but honestly I'm so cheap it sounds like a nightmare. Go hiking, go to the park, do something outdoorsy! Foids love that! And guess what... ITS FREE!
The key though that even though you act poor, she has to know you aren't. Maybe tell her your money is all locked up or something. It probably is if you follow chapter 5 well! She'll nag you about it, but stay cheap! She will hopefully want you not because you buy her things, but because you're rich... because you are! If you can afford that limb lengthening + double jaw surgery combo and ascend, the bp says it doesn't matter what you buy her anyway, so does it really matter?
CONCLUSION
There are obviously aspects I did not go over here, but I think following these principles will allow you to have a shit ton of excess money. Cutting out unnecessary spending at this level will 100% improve your finances and lower stress, and therefore improve your life. There is no reason not to be a miser for at least a while, especially if you're single and have no life like most of you. Thank you for reading.
(pictured: example of successful povertymaxxed misercel. Moggs your bank account)
UPDATE NOTES: Title change, added multiple spoilers, added multiple images, added extra section. Also, old thread buried during lag spike.
