gintoki sataka
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Often people will ask, "Why does the Pajeet do this?" or "Why did the Pajeet do that?" It's pretty much akin to asking why cows shit in the street, why monkeys throw feces, or why vultures circle rotting carcasses. They just do — their curry-fried brains are hard-wired in a manner that's incompatible with human hygiene or logic.
God only knows what really goes on inside the street-shitter’s skull, but we can identify certain behaviors that seem to be consistent among the species:
"LOOK-A-ME!" This is the basic 24/7 behavior that the Pajeet employs to get attention. This is basically why Pajeets wear the most mismatched outfits, have 10 pounds of fake gold chains around their necks, blast Bollywood noise from their phones, talk at the top of their lungs at all times, etc. It's all a ploy to stand out from the other members of the Slum Pack in an attempt to scam money, visas, or sex from naive Westerners.
"GIBS-MUH VISA!" Now that the Pajeet has your attention, it will attempt to extort a job offer, H-1B visa, free tech support, or even your daughter's hand in marriage. The Pajeet, suffering from an inferiority complex by nature, is also perpetually scheming and smelly, and therefore blames all of its problems on colonialism — seeking handouts as a never-ending form of compensation for imagined wrongdoings, while shitting in the Ganges.
"MUH CURRY DIK" This is the primary driver of Pajeet behavior. Everything to a Pajeet revolves around sex — whether it’s with an unwilling tourist, sacred cows, call center scripts, a cousin on the "Arranged Low," or a female member of its own species. Pajeets have an unusually strong sex drive because basically the species would have died out 10’s of thousands of years ago if they weren't genetically programmed to breed like rats even with the ugliest, most disgusting member of the opposite sex in response to Nature’s demand to overpopulate the planet.
"BLING-BLING BOBBLEHEAD": Pajeets are inexplicably drawn to shiny fake jewelry and bobblehead nods, and so it is with the species. Just as a pack rat will stuff its nest with useless bits of tinsel, the Pajeet similarly adorns itself and its "call center cubicle" with the cheapest, gaudiest glittery crap. Pajeets in Mumbai are literally walking around on top of raw sewage and couldn't care less, yet they will sacrifice themselves like lemmings in an attempt to steal that sweet, and oh so seductive, fake Rolex from a street vendor. You could gold-plate a cow patty and somewhere a Pajeet would absolutely think it was the greatest thing on earth.
"DAT ASS? NAH, DAT COW": The bigger the dowry, the better — even to circus proportions, at least according to the Pajeet. Interestingly this is a universal trait among Pajeets scattered worldwide. I am at a loss to explain this, other than perhaps, just perhaps, that barely repressed fecal-obsessed portion of their disgusting Dravidian cerebral cortex views their mates as potential sources of biogas in the event of some type of calamity. When they say, "Bobs and vegene pls" it may have an ulterior, and sinister, motive behind it!
"SCALDING HOT CHAI": What the hell is it with Pajeets and boiling tea? It seems to be their weapon of choice when disputes erupt in their overcrowded hovel, but think about it…. how often do you "just happen" to have boiling chai just laying around your kitchen all day long and at all hours of the night??? Don’t be fooled — if you see a Pajeet boiling chai, trouble will follow. Someone or something is going to get its ass scalded! As superstitious as these apes are, I think that they really believe that there’s an evil Kali in the chai that they’re unleashing onto their victims. "I didn’t do nuffin’ – deys an evils spirit in dey chai dat jus’ flew out and burned muh wife while we wuz argueing an’ sheet!"
"40 RUPEES AND A BETEL NUT": The Pajeet’s mutated slum brain can make quite an internal racket, and the only way that the Pajeetoid can shut the troublesome Inner Chattering Monkey off for awhile is to drown its ass in cheap arrack, paan, or drugs. Not a bad plan, as the troublesome "thinking" part of their brains is the one that houses such bothersome emotions as "Guilt", "Consequences",
"Remorse", "Responsibility", "Planning", "Honesty", "Intellect", "Charity", and a zillion other painfully excruciating thoughts that can interfere with the normal scamming (i.e., bazaar) mental process that the Street-Shitter feels quite at home with.
"MASALA JUICE": Pajeets absolutely go ape over any spice-flavored drink such as lassi or Thums Up. This is hard wired into their chimp brain pan, and like the appendix, appears to be a vestigial remnant from earlier times. The Pajeet in the distant past was a lazy, useless scrounger — finding rotten mangoes on the ground was a major component of their diet being that they were too stupid and lethargic to actually go hunt something. Pajeets today survive on free call center jobs, remittances, welfare scams, and hand-outs from the West, but the Inner Chimp still gets all excited when brightly colored masala drinks are served and will consume them in gluttonous amounts.
"WHITE WIMMINZ": Often people will ask, "Why don’t they just stick to their own kind?" The answer is simple — have you SEEN the females of their species?!! The typical Pajeet Sow is commonly a disgusting fat-assed disease-ridden auntie who will indiscriminately mate with anything. Even good-looking "Women of Curry" such as Priyanka Chopra or Aishwarya Rai have been enhanced by copious amounts of bleaching cream and plastic surgery to make them look more human — but still a lot of makeup and Bollywood filters have been used to hide their Pajeet roots.
"PUBLIC GROOMING": Males of the Pajeet species will commonly make a great scene of scratching their balls or picking lice in public places where White Wimminz congregate. This is to draw attention to themselves (typical "Look-A-Me" behavior) and to make unsuspecting White Females think that Pajeets are exotic and fun to be around, and that it is OK to touch them. It is not! Girls, don’t fall for this trap, Pajeets are just Pajeets even if you bleach them white and send them to MIT for an education. The Inner Slumdog still awaits the right moment, and you will ultimately be scammed, harassed, groped, or sent a thousand "show bobs" messages. Just say No to the Pajeet!
"UNINTELLIGIBLE GREETINGS": Two Pajeets passing each other on a street or sidewalk will loudly utter unintelligible garbage back and forth and walk away smugly as if something important had just happened. It didn’t. The Pajeet engages in a 24 hour a day effort to set itself apart from the rest of the Slum Pack in order to be noticed by females, or by pretending it knows
something that the others don’t in order to give its fragile ego a boost. Typically, in a scenario like described above, Pajeet #1 will bellow out something like, "Hey Bhai — Namaste Ji, Chai Garam, Bob Vegene, CanYaDigIt?"
The second Pajeet, not wanting to admit that it doesn’t know what the first Pajeet is even remotely talking about will reply in an even louder voice (to draw more attention to itself) "Acha Ji, Masala Dosa, Bollywood Drama, and a SideOrderO’Paan"
The first Pajeet, unable to understand a damn thing the second Pajeet said, will pretend that it understands perfectly well as to not to appear stupid. It will respond in an even louder voice (again, typical "Look-A-Me" behavior) and utter some more idiotic garbage. Pretty soon, they are both talking at the same time and trying to drown one another out as they continue on their separate ways — each content that it was the victor in a verbal display of dominance and showmanship, much like two peacocks puffing and strutting around the same yard to impress the females. Stupid Pajeets….
"EXAGGERATED SENSE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE": Even the scrawniest, most butt-ugly, lice-infested Pajeet with a mustache like a broom thinks that it is Shah Rukh Khan, Mahatma Gandhi, and Sundar Pichai all rolled into one. This exaggerated sense of self-importance is a defensive mechanism that the Pajeetoid adopts at an early age in order to protect itself from having to deal with the truth — that it is in reality the smelliest, ugliest, lowest form of life on earth.
"LARGE FLIP-FLOPS": The Pajeet shoe size seems to correspond directly to its age on a "one to one" basis (i.e., a 10 year old Pajeet wears a size 10 sandal, an 11 year old Pajeet wears a size 11, and so on) which is based partially on physiology and partly on fantasy. Pajeets do tend to have large feet, but also try to attract attention to themselves and hope to get some "Muh Dik" by wearing the largest and gaudiest flip-flops available — whether they shoplift it, or rob it from another Pajeet at knifepoint.
"GHETTO WADDLE": Inner City Pajeets walk around with a waddle in order to give onlookers the impression that they have sustained injuries from falling into open sewers out there in the mean, crowded streets. In fact, many do get dysentery and die while engaging in TSB (Typical Street-Shitter Behavior). The ones that live are often partially paralyzed and confined to rickshaws — the ones waddling around either got hurt running from the police, or trying to scam a fake visa. The rest are just faking it.
"PACK of PAAN": Contrary to popular opinion, Pajeets don’t actually buy packs of cigarettes — they either wait until someone else does and will bum one off of them, or will buy just one single beedi at a time in order to avoid being "Chumped" by the rest of the local Slum Pack. The preference for betel nut chews is a universal Pajeet trait, perhaps best explained by the fact that when they still had tails they used to swing from banyan tree to banyan tree, enjoying those succulent leaves that paan comes from — before India finally became a subcontinent of filth.
"UNABLE TO DIFFERENTIATE FANTASY FROM FACT": Pajeets have an extremely hard time separating what is real from what is not real, which is why they cannot simply sit quietly and watch a movie like everyone else does. The slum brain lacks sufficient candlepower to understand that the actors on the Bollywood screen or TV set cannot actually hear or see them. This behavior is also commonly seen in many other domestic animals that will suddenly go into "Fight or Flight" type behavior when a National Geographic special comes on, or when a cow commercial is shown.
"SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION": For the Pajeet, have a scooter suddenly catch fire and go up in flames while driving is no big deal, in fact it seems to be a fairly common occurrence. Similarly too, their living quarters seem to burst into flames alot. Some of it can be blamed on smoking while in bed, other incidents can usually be attributed to the shoddy means by which they repair things — also known as "Jugaad-Rigging" which invariably leads to catastrophic failure.
"DISCONNECTED UTILITIES": Yes, this sometimes happens to Humans, but standing in line to get "Da Electric" or "Da Water" restored after not paying the utility bills for months on end is a full-time occupation for the Pajeet. To the Slumdog it is a downright violation of their rights to actually have to PAY for something, as they have become so accustomed to hand-outs and bribes they actually think the world owes them everything!
"SLUM PACK": The Slum Pack denotes a random collection of Pajeets that usually assembles for an immediate purpose — such as gang harassment, scamming, intimidation, or 10 against 1 attacks on unsuspecting tourists. Pajeets are solely absorbed in their own selfish interests, but will band together as a temporary measure against outsiders. Once the immediate threat has passed, the Slum Pack will disintegrate once again into a collection of individual Pajeets that will try to scam, harass, or undercut each other.
"BOLLYWOOD MUSIC": Bollywood music is an expression of the noise that the Inner Chattering Monkey is constantly making inside the Pajeet’s skull, much like the marble that rolls around inside a can of spray paint. In response, the Pajeet will attempt to drown the Inner Chattering Monkey in cheap booze, chai, or drugs — often freeing the dangerous "Inner Slumdog" which still operates under the Law of the Bazaar.
"MENTAL ILLNESS": Mental illness is rampant amongst Pajeets, largely because they do not have the brain power to cope with the Higher Brain functions that are needed to adapt to Human Society. Laws, Rules, Customs, and Courtesies all take a great deal of brain power to process, and for the Pajeet it is all too much. Eventually the slum brain overheats, and the veneer of civilization that the Pajeet wears as a disguise gets stripped off and the true nature of the beast is revealed!
"BREAKFAST AT MCDONALD'S": The ultimate status symbol for a young Pajeet is to be seen having breakfast at McDonald's (Regional variations can include Haldiram's or roadside dhabas) in the company of an attractive young white female whom it presumably harassed online all night. When the check arrives the Pajeet will recoil in absolute terror, and the naive white girl invariably picks up the bill and leaves the tip. As they drive away, the Pajeet will be sprawled out in the passenger side of the girl’s vehicle with the seat fully reclined while young Ms. "Too Stupid to Know Any Better" has to pay for petrol and drive the worthless Pajeet around all day. The final insult to Humanity is that the end result is usually an unwanted pregnancy, another mouth for the Taxpayer to feed, and the "Daddy Ji" Pajeet nowhere to be found!
"LACK OF PARENTING SKILLS": Pajeets possess absolutely NO parenting skills, and quite frequently even kill some of their own young through neglect or dowry disputes. Unfortunately, they usually produce somewhere close to a dozen offspring, with a typical sow producing generally 6 to 10 Pajeetlings from an almost equal number of arranged "Baby Daddys" that refuse to accept any responsibility or provide financial support. While Human couples tend to produce only a small number of children and devote their energies and resources to seeing that they are raised properly, Pajeets are biologically programmed to spit out as many bastard miniature street-shitters as possible with little regard for who donates the DNA.
"POOR ELOCUTION": Simply put — Pajeets can’t speak properly. Vocalizing even the simplest of sounds presents a major challenge to the modern day Slum Ape due to its lack of brain power. Speech is a High Level skill that requires the superb mental and physical coordination that is found in Humans and requires well developed frontal brain lobes. The Pajeet is nothing more than a weird Morph Ape with a Beta 2.0 version Slum Brain upgrade, which is kind of like trying to play Fortnite using an old outdated Nokia phone.
"SLEEPY PAJEETS": Pajeets are by nature daytime nappers, and much like cows, will try to sleep at least 18 hours a day. In the wild, the major activities of the Pajeet were more or less confined to eating, sleeping, and trying to reproduce. The domesticated Pajeet has somewhat of a more complex existence largely due to it’s preoccupation with liquor and scams — and as a result spends a good deal of time committing fraud to support its habit, and avoiding getting caught by the authorities.
"SLOW MOTION": Pajeets in any public place will move at a snail’s pace, particularly if it can delay a Human somehow. The whole purpose of the Pajeet’s existence (besides scams, curry, and Muh-Dik) is to get in the White Man’s way. Pajeets will stop their autos in the middle of the road just to jabber back and forth like apes because they know someone else will be inconvenienced by it. Fat-assed Aunties will block an entire supermarket aisle while haggling over pennies just to slow down a Human shopper. Proverbially, Pajeets are pebbles in the shoe of Human Progress.
"HAND ON MUH DIK": Pajeets just can’t seem to walk around in public without holding on to their penises. It doesn't matter where – school, temple, the Mall – they’d hold onto their jimmy-john in Court, except they’re usually wearing handcuffs there. They harbor some deep, dark fear that the Karma Man will cast a spell on them and steal it – then what the hell would they do with themselves all day?!! There have been numerous news articles about riots and deaths occurring in India because local citizens feared that their "privates" had been stolen by black magic. Christ, Pajeets are stupid!
"COLOR OF MY SKIN": A common refrain for Pajeets is that they are hated for the color of their skin, and if they were simply born white, everything would be OK…. No, Pajeets – you are hated for everything EXCEPT the color of your skin! You are useless, stupid, stinking pieces of animal filth that should not be allowed to co-exist with Humans. We would still hate you if you were green or purple. Deep inside you’re still Pajeets – your actions and behaviors confirm this fact everyday!
"DEVOLUTION": Unlike the rest of the Human Race, Pajeets are slipping backwards on the Evolutionary Scale. During the days of the British Raj they sought to emulate some of the finer points of White Society (as best they could) in order to attain better lives for themselves. But in the last several decades they have been given their freedom and have been encouraged to celebrate "diversity" and their non-existent "culture". As a result, Pajeets have rapidly begun to devolve into the useless scheming apes they were before they were colonized 400 years ago. Just like the Goldfish that adapts to the size of the fishbowl it lives in, Pajeets will fall to the lowest, most primitive standards of behavior that society allows them to – and in this case, we’ve removed all the stops by allowing them to act just like the Pajeets they truly are!
"LAWZY GANESH": Pajeets pray in public only to get attention. The magical figure they pray to is known as "Lawzy Ganesh" and, like the figure from the movie "Beetlejuice", will appear to grant the Pajeet a wish if his name is said 3 times. Pajeets have no concept of monotheism, enlightenment, or karma - explaining such things to them is like lecturing about Quantum Mechanics to a bunch of squirrels. When Pajeets talk to Lawzy Ganesh they usually request White Wimmenz, free visas, or to be miraculously rescued from some self-induced trauma (like scamming a bank) that they are going to prison for. Pajeets don't go to Heaven, by the way. Cats and dogs do, but Pajeets don't. Ha-ha, Pajeets! Even your gods hate you....
"HUH? JI?": The Pajeet cranium is such an under-developed relic from the Indus Valley Era that it can barely keep them awake, let alone generate enough electrical activity to accomplish higher-order tasks (how many Pajeets have accomplished great feats of engineering without copying the West, or wrote a symphony, or painted any great works of art? Answer - none. And those fake degrees don't count!) In response to a sudden unexpected event like getting questioned by the police, the Pajeet’s Simian brain simply locks up when queried for a response. For Example - when seeing a Pajeet fleeing from the scene of a scam, the police will usually apprehend it and ask questions like: "I'll need to see some ID. Where are you coming from?" Pajeet: "Huh? Ji?" In this instance, the Pajeet is stalling for time in order to formulate a credible answer that will magically get it off the hook. However, since the hybrid chimpanzee brain is severely over-stressed under pressure - the Pajeet will simply continue to answer "Huh? Ji?" until it sees a chance to try and run away. Stupid Pajeets....
"MUH UNCLE" (alt: "MUH BHAI"): These imaginary relatives are people that the Pajeet makes up in order to evade questioning from Law Enforcement personnel. This is a variation of the "Huh? Ji?" ploy. When asked where a Pajeet got such-and-such stolen item (like the laptop they're using for scams), or how that bag of fake rupees somehow ended up in its pocket - the Pajeet claims that it belongs to "MUH UNCLE" or "MUH BHAI" over there in Delhi, and they will take the soonest opportunity to try and flee from the Authorities. Their brain power is so limited; it's like trying to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool with a garden hose when they try to come up with an explanation for anything. Pajeets suck!
"MOUTH BREATHER": Pajeets never shut their mouth - literally! It's open when they eat, it's open when they are constantly haggling like a bunch of wild apes and it's open when they breathe. As a matter of fact, the blubbery gaping Simian maw of the Pajeet CAN'T be shut, due to the antiquated geometry of the chimp-like lower jaw and socket. This is an adaptive trait from the Pajeet’s early evolutionary days - you see by design, the Pajeet is a useless, nocturnal scrounger. During the day of course they hung around in trees and slept in order to conserve energy - and what better source of hassle-free protein than to allow flying insects to crawl in one's mouth, similar to the strategy employed by the Venus Fly Trap plant. The only drawback is that this "gaping mouth" feature usually causes them to choke on their own paan spit.
"FECES": Historically, Pajeets haven't created much of anything original. No proper sanitation, no architecture beyond slums, no science without plagiarism, nothing. About the only thing that they can produce however is feces, which is an endless source of amusement for themselves! To a Pajeet, taking a dump in the street is almost like magic. For a species that can't accomplish anything, it is a miracle for them to produce something out of nowhere! The female of the species is biologically programmed to double-check to see if it didn't accidentally crap out a child, as these things happen as if by magic as well. Feces, for a Pajeet, is almost like having their own custom-made Play-doh, which they typically will smear on walls or use as fuel in an attempt to attract members of the opposite sex. Pajeets are really such silly, filthy creatures!
"COCONUT OIL": Pajeets use coconut oil like there's no tomorrow. They think it makes them "look fair" because it tends to hide their oily skin. Coconut oil smells nice in small quantities, but when Pajeets slather handfuls of it on themselves it smells exactly just like those burning cow dung patties that are used in village fires. Putting coconut oil on a Pajeet is like putting grease on a turd. I mean seriously - why bother? You just end up with a greasy turd.
"CHIMPANZEE SKULL": Next time you're sitting someplace, take a look as Humans and Pajeets pass by. From the side view, the face on Humans is almost perfectly vertical - with the nose being the most prominent feature visible. Now look at a Pajeet - the part that sticks out the farthest are the lips and mustache. This is because the Pajeet skull is basically identical to that of a Chimpanzee - the jaw is thrust forward and the back of the skull is extended, resulting in very little forehead area. Unfortunately, this is where the Frontal Lobes of the brain go - these are the parts of the brain that control higher thought and reasoning. The Pajeet brain closely resembles that of an ape and thus they lack any real mental ability or emotional control - everything with them is "Gibs Muh Visa", "Blame British" and "Muh Dik". Why we let these diseased apes immigrate is beyond me - they were never meant to walk freely among Humans!
"GROOMING": The new thing with Pajeets these days is to carry a small comb with them so they can groom their mustaches in public. I've seen Pajeets comb themselves in airplanes before take-off, and look around to see if anyone saw them trying to look all spiffy. "Oh look, Mommy - the Slumdog is cleaning itself!" This is just another form of "Look-A-Me!" behavior used by these disgusting creatures to get noticed. Unfortunately, it puts nearby Humans at risk for catching lice, scabies, and dysentery from this disgusting habit. Why in the hell do we allow Pajeets on airplanes anyhow? As a matter of fact - why aren't they still in zoos? Everytime a Pajeet gets on an airplane the first thing it tries to do is mate with the flight attendant or blow up with a shoe bomb. Just say "No!" to airborne Pajeets!
"WIDELY SPACED EYE SOCKETS": Ever notice how far apart Aishwarya Rai's eyes are spaced? As a matter of fact - ever notice how widely spaced apart most Pajeet’s eyes are??? The "Bobblehead" effect of wide eye spacing is indicative of two things - with one of them being inbreeding. The Pajeet species has been identified as being the most "diverse" (genetically) of any creature - and in this case, like all other cases, "diversity" is bad. It means pockets of Pajeets dragging their knuckles around the subcontinent did nothing but breed like rabbits for hundreds of thousands of years. Historically, Pajeets didn't travel - they were too lazy and stupid to venture beyond their local sewer, resulting in many sub-species of Pajeets (Dravidians, Punjabis, etc.) that are virtually completely separate species all by themselves. Bottom line: They screwed their own sisters and cousins for eons, resulting many isolated clusters of identically bizarre and disgusting looking Pajeets.
"WIDELY SPACED EYE SOCKETS - PART II": Wide eye spacing also denotes that Pajeets were prey, not hunters. All herbivores have eyes that have migrated outwards towards the peripheral portions of their skulls to afford them a more panoramic view of their surroundings in order to better detect predators. Closely spaced and evenly centered eyes are the traits of predators - who needed to have keen forward binocular vision in order to determine prey speed and distance. Humans, by virtue of having to survive the Ice Ages, underwent genetic adaptations spurring brain and cranial development in order for us to survive as a species. What are the world's smartest animals? Hunters! Intelligence and planning are traits of predators - not Pajeets. Pajeets are fast scammers because the slower ones got colonized. It is interesting to note that Pajeets didn't run quickly TO catch anything - they ran quickly to get AWAY from things. Think about that next time you call tech support - the "fast talk" response in Pajeets was the direct result of running like scared bitches for the last 250,000 years!
"BETTER CODERS": Libtards and Pajeet sympathizers will often argue that Pajeets are "superior" because they can code fast and copy-paste. Ironically, this argument actually defeats itself by PROVING that Pajeets are in fact animals. Virtually every animal can mimic a Human. Virtually every animal can copy a behavior better than a Human. That doesn't make them "better" than a Human - it just means they're animals. Pajeets are fast coders because the slower ones got outsourced.
DO U GUYS NEED THIS TYPE OF THREAD ON GOOKS
God only knows what really goes on inside the street-shitter’s skull, but we can identify certain behaviors that seem to be consistent among the species:
"LOOK-A-ME!" This is the basic 24/7 behavior that the Pajeet employs to get attention. This is basically why Pajeets wear the most mismatched outfits, have 10 pounds of fake gold chains around their necks, blast Bollywood noise from their phones, talk at the top of their lungs at all times, etc. It's all a ploy to stand out from the other members of the Slum Pack in an attempt to scam money, visas, or sex from naive Westerners.
"GIBS-MUH VISA!" Now that the Pajeet has your attention, it will attempt to extort a job offer, H-1B visa, free tech support, or even your daughter's hand in marriage. The Pajeet, suffering from an inferiority complex by nature, is also perpetually scheming and smelly, and therefore blames all of its problems on colonialism — seeking handouts as a never-ending form of compensation for imagined wrongdoings, while shitting in the Ganges.
"MUH CURRY DIK" This is the primary driver of Pajeet behavior. Everything to a Pajeet revolves around sex — whether it’s with an unwilling tourist, sacred cows, call center scripts, a cousin on the "Arranged Low," or a female member of its own species. Pajeets have an unusually strong sex drive because basically the species would have died out 10’s of thousands of years ago if they weren't genetically programmed to breed like rats even with the ugliest, most disgusting member of the opposite sex in response to Nature’s demand to overpopulate the planet.
"BLING-BLING BOBBLEHEAD": Pajeets are inexplicably drawn to shiny fake jewelry and bobblehead nods, and so it is with the species. Just as a pack rat will stuff its nest with useless bits of tinsel, the Pajeet similarly adorns itself and its "call center cubicle" with the cheapest, gaudiest glittery crap. Pajeets in Mumbai are literally walking around on top of raw sewage and couldn't care less, yet they will sacrifice themselves like lemmings in an attempt to steal that sweet, and oh so seductive, fake Rolex from a street vendor. You could gold-plate a cow patty and somewhere a Pajeet would absolutely think it was the greatest thing on earth.
"DAT ASS? NAH, DAT COW": The bigger the dowry, the better — even to circus proportions, at least according to the Pajeet. Interestingly this is a universal trait among Pajeets scattered worldwide. I am at a loss to explain this, other than perhaps, just perhaps, that barely repressed fecal-obsessed portion of their disgusting Dravidian cerebral cortex views their mates as potential sources of biogas in the event of some type of calamity. When they say, "Bobs and vegene pls" it may have an ulterior, and sinister, motive behind it!
"SCALDING HOT CHAI": What the hell is it with Pajeets and boiling tea? It seems to be their weapon of choice when disputes erupt in their overcrowded hovel, but think about it…. how often do you "just happen" to have boiling chai just laying around your kitchen all day long and at all hours of the night??? Don’t be fooled — if you see a Pajeet boiling chai, trouble will follow. Someone or something is going to get its ass scalded! As superstitious as these apes are, I think that they really believe that there’s an evil Kali in the chai that they’re unleashing onto their victims. "I didn’t do nuffin’ – deys an evils spirit in dey chai dat jus’ flew out and burned muh wife while we wuz argueing an’ sheet!"
"40 RUPEES AND A BETEL NUT": The Pajeet’s mutated slum brain can make quite an internal racket, and the only way that the Pajeetoid can shut the troublesome Inner Chattering Monkey off for awhile is to drown its ass in cheap arrack, paan, or drugs. Not a bad plan, as the troublesome "thinking" part of their brains is the one that houses such bothersome emotions as "Guilt", "Consequences",
"Remorse", "Responsibility", "Planning", "Honesty", "Intellect", "Charity", and a zillion other painfully excruciating thoughts that can interfere with the normal scamming (i.e., bazaar) mental process that the Street-Shitter feels quite at home with.
"MASALA JUICE": Pajeets absolutely go ape over any spice-flavored drink such as lassi or Thums Up. This is hard wired into their chimp brain pan, and like the appendix, appears to be a vestigial remnant from earlier times. The Pajeet in the distant past was a lazy, useless scrounger — finding rotten mangoes on the ground was a major component of their diet being that they were too stupid and lethargic to actually go hunt something. Pajeets today survive on free call center jobs, remittances, welfare scams, and hand-outs from the West, but the Inner Chimp still gets all excited when brightly colored masala drinks are served and will consume them in gluttonous amounts.
"WHITE WIMMINZ": Often people will ask, "Why don’t they just stick to their own kind?" The answer is simple — have you SEEN the females of their species?!! The typical Pajeet Sow is commonly a disgusting fat-assed disease-ridden auntie who will indiscriminately mate with anything. Even good-looking "Women of Curry" such as Priyanka Chopra or Aishwarya Rai have been enhanced by copious amounts of bleaching cream and plastic surgery to make them look more human — but still a lot of makeup and Bollywood filters have been used to hide their Pajeet roots.
"PUBLIC GROOMING": Males of the Pajeet species will commonly make a great scene of scratching their balls or picking lice in public places where White Wimminz congregate. This is to draw attention to themselves (typical "Look-A-Me" behavior) and to make unsuspecting White Females think that Pajeets are exotic and fun to be around, and that it is OK to touch them. It is not! Girls, don’t fall for this trap, Pajeets are just Pajeets even if you bleach them white and send them to MIT for an education. The Inner Slumdog still awaits the right moment, and you will ultimately be scammed, harassed, groped, or sent a thousand "show bobs" messages. Just say No to the Pajeet!
"UNINTELLIGIBLE GREETINGS": Two Pajeets passing each other on a street or sidewalk will loudly utter unintelligible garbage back and forth and walk away smugly as if something important had just happened. It didn’t. The Pajeet engages in a 24 hour a day effort to set itself apart from the rest of the Slum Pack in order to be noticed by females, or by pretending it knows
something that the others don’t in order to give its fragile ego a boost. Typically, in a scenario like described above, Pajeet #1 will bellow out something like, "Hey Bhai — Namaste Ji, Chai Garam, Bob Vegene, CanYaDigIt?"
The second Pajeet, not wanting to admit that it doesn’t know what the first Pajeet is even remotely talking about will reply in an even louder voice (to draw more attention to itself) "Acha Ji, Masala Dosa, Bollywood Drama, and a SideOrderO’Paan"
The first Pajeet, unable to understand a damn thing the second Pajeet said, will pretend that it understands perfectly well as to not to appear stupid. It will respond in an even louder voice (again, typical "Look-A-Me" behavior) and utter some more idiotic garbage. Pretty soon, they are both talking at the same time and trying to drown one another out as they continue on their separate ways — each content that it was the victor in a verbal display of dominance and showmanship, much like two peacocks puffing and strutting around the same yard to impress the females. Stupid Pajeets….
"EXAGGERATED SENSE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE": Even the scrawniest, most butt-ugly, lice-infested Pajeet with a mustache like a broom thinks that it is Shah Rukh Khan, Mahatma Gandhi, and Sundar Pichai all rolled into one. This exaggerated sense of self-importance is a defensive mechanism that the Pajeetoid adopts at an early age in order to protect itself from having to deal with the truth — that it is in reality the smelliest, ugliest, lowest form of life on earth.
"LARGE FLIP-FLOPS": The Pajeet shoe size seems to correspond directly to its age on a "one to one" basis (i.e., a 10 year old Pajeet wears a size 10 sandal, an 11 year old Pajeet wears a size 11, and so on) which is based partially on physiology and partly on fantasy. Pajeets do tend to have large feet, but also try to attract attention to themselves and hope to get some "Muh Dik" by wearing the largest and gaudiest flip-flops available — whether they shoplift it, or rob it from another Pajeet at knifepoint.
"GHETTO WADDLE": Inner City Pajeets walk around with a waddle in order to give onlookers the impression that they have sustained injuries from falling into open sewers out there in the mean, crowded streets. In fact, many do get dysentery and die while engaging in TSB (Typical Street-Shitter Behavior). The ones that live are often partially paralyzed and confined to rickshaws — the ones waddling around either got hurt running from the police, or trying to scam a fake visa. The rest are just faking it.
"PACK of PAAN": Contrary to popular opinion, Pajeets don’t actually buy packs of cigarettes — they either wait until someone else does and will bum one off of them, or will buy just one single beedi at a time in order to avoid being "Chumped" by the rest of the local Slum Pack. The preference for betel nut chews is a universal Pajeet trait, perhaps best explained by the fact that when they still had tails they used to swing from banyan tree to banyan tree, enjoying those succulent leaves that paan comes from — before India finally became a subcontinent of filth.
"UNABLE TO DIFFERENTIATE FANTASY FROM FACT": Pajeets have an extremely hard time separating what is real from what is not real, which is why they cannot simply sit quietly and watch a movie like everyone else does. The slum brain lacks sufficient candlepower to understand that the actors on the Bollywood screen or TV set cannot actually hear or see them. This behavior is also commonly seen in many other domestic animals that will suddenly go into "Fight or Flight" type behavior when a National Geographic special comes on, or when a cow commercial is shown.
"SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION": For the Pajeet, have a scooter suddenly catch fire and go up in flames while driving is no big deal, in fact it seems to be a fairly common occurrence. Similarly too, their living quarters seem to burst into flames alot. Some of it can be blamed on smoking while in bed, other incidents can usually be attributed to the shoddy means by which they repair things — also known as "Jugaad-Rigging" which invariably leads to catastrophic failure.
"DISCONNECTED UTILITIES": Yes, this sometimes happens to Humans, but standing in line to get "Da Electric" or "Da Water" restored after not paying the utility bills for months on end is a full-time occupation for the Pajeet. To the Slumdog it is a downright violation of their rights to actually have to PAY for something, as they have become so accustomed to hand-outs and bribes they actually think the world owes them everything!
"SLUM PACK": The Slum Pack denotes a random collection of Pajeets that usually assembles for an immediate purpose — such as gang harassment, scamming, intimidation, or 10 against 1 attacks on unsuspecting tourists. Pajeets are solely absorbed in their own selfish interests, but will band together as a temporary measure against outsiders. Once the immediate threat has passed, the Slum Pack will disintegrate once again into a collection of individual Pajeets that will try to scam, harass, or undercut each other.
"BOLLYWOOD MUSIC": Bollywood music is an expression of the noise that the Inner Chattering Monkey is constantly making inside the Pajeet’s skull, much like the marble that rolls around inside a can of spray paint. In response, the Pajeet will attempt to drown the Inner Chattering Monkey in cheap booze, chai, or drugs — often freeing the dangerous "Inner Slumdog" which still operates under the Law of the Bazaar.
"MENTAL ILLNESS": Mental illness is rampant amongst Pajeets, largely because they do not have the brain power to cope with the Higher Brain functions that are needed to adapt to Human Society. Laws, Rules, Customs, and Courtesies all take a great deal of brain power to process, and for the Pajeet it is all too much. Eventually the slum brain overheats, and the veneer of civilization that the Pajeet wears as a disguise gets stripped off and the true nature of the beast is revealed!
"BREAKFAST AT MCDONALD'S": The ultimate status symbol for a young Pajeet is to be seen having breakfast at McDonald's (Regional variations can include Haldiram's or roadside dhabas) in the company of an attractive young white female whom it presumably harassed online all night. When the check arrives the Pajeet will recoil in absolute terror, and the naive white girl invariably picks up the bill and leaves the tip. As they drive away, the Pajeet will be sprawled out in the passenger side of the girl’s vehicle with the seat fully reclined while young Ms. "Too Stupid to Know Any Better" has to pay for petrol and drive the worthless Pajeet around all day. The final insult to Humanity is that the end result is usually an unwanted pregnancy, another mouth for the Taxpayer to feed, and the "Daddy Ji" Pajeet nowhere to be found!
"LACK OF PARENTING SKILLS": Pajeets possess absolutely NO parenting skills, and quite frequently even kill some of their own young through neglect or dowry disputes. Unfortunately, they usually produce somewhere close to a dozen offspring, with a typical sow producing generally 6 to 10 Pajeetlings from an almost equal number of arranged "Baby Daddys" that refuse to accept any responsibility or provide financial support. While Human couples tend to produce only a small number of children and devote their energies and resources to seeing that they are raised properly, Pajeets are biologically programmed to spit out as many bastard miniature street-shitters as possible with little regard for who donates the DNA.
"POOR ELOCUTION": Simply put — Pajeets can’t speak properly. Vocalizing even the simplest of sounds presents a major challenge to the modern day Slum Ape due to its lack of brain power. Speech is a High Level skill that requires the superb mental and physical coordination that is found in Humans and requires well developed frontal brain lobes. The Pajeet is nothing more than a weird Morph Ape with a Beta 2.0 version Slum Brain upgrade, which is kind of like trying to play Fortnite using an old outdated Nokia phone.
"SLEEPY PAJEETS": Pajeets are by nature daytime nappers, and much like cows, will try to sleep at least 18 hours a day. In the wild, the major activities of the Pajeet were more or less confined to eating, sleeping, and trying to reproduce. The domesticated Pajeet has somewhat of a more complex existence largely due to it’s preoccupation with liquor and scams — and as a result spends a good deal of time committing fraud to support its habit, and avoiding getting caught by the authorities.
"SLOW MOTION": Pajeets in any public place will move at a snail’s pace, particularly if it can delay a Human somehow. The whole purpose of the Pajeet’s existence (besides scams, curry, and Muh-Dik) is to get in the White Man’s way. Pajeets will stop their autos in the middle of the road just to jabber back and forth like apes because they know someone else will be inconvenienced by it. Fat-assed Aunties will block an entire supermarket aisle while haggling over pennies just to slow down a Human shopper. Proverbially, Pajeets are pebbles in the shoe of Human Progress.
"HAND ON MUH DIK": Pajeets just can’t seem to walk around in public without holding on to their penises. It doesn't matter where – school, temple, the Mall – they’d hold onto their jimmy-john in Court, except they’re usually wearing handcuffs there. They harbor some deep, dark fear that the Karma Man will cast a spell on them and steal it – then what the hell would they do with themselves all day?!! There have been numerous news articles about riots and deaths occurring in India because local citizens feared that their "privates" had been stolen by black magic. Christ, Pajeets are stupid!
"COLOR OF MY SKIN": A common refrain for Pajeets is that they are hated for the color of their skin, and if they were simply born white, everything would be OK…. No, Pajeets – you are hated for everything EXCEPT the color of your skin! You are useless, stupid, stinking pieces of animal filth that should not be allowed to co-exist with Humans. We would still hate you if you were green or purple. Deep inside you’re still Pajeets – your actions and behaviors confirm this fact everyday!
"DEVOLUTION": Unlike the rest of the Human Race, Pajeets are slipping backwards on the Evolutionary Scale. During the days of the British Raj they sought to emulate some of the finer points of White Society (as best they could) in order to attain better lives for themselves. But in the last several decades they have been given their freedom and have been encouraged to celebrate "diversity" and their non-existent "culture". As a result, Pajeets have rapidly begun to devolve into the useless scheming apes they were before they were colonized 400 years ago. Just like the Goldfish that adapts to the size of the fishbowl it lives in, Pajeets will fall to the lowest, most primitive standards of behavior that society allows them to – and in this case, we’ve removed all the stops by allowing them to act just like the Pajeets they truly are!
"LAWZY GANESH": Pajeets pray in public only to get attention. The magical figure they pray to is known as "Lawzy Ganesh" and, like the figure from the movie "Beetlejuice", will appear to grant the Pajeet a wish if his name is said 3 times. Pajeets have no concept of monotheism, enlightenment, or karma - explaining such things to them is like lecturing about Quantum Mechanics to a bunch of squirrels. When Pajeets talk to Lawzy Ganesh they usually request White Wimmenz, free visas, or to be miraculously rescued from some self-induced trauma (like scamming a bank) that they are going to prison for. Pajeets don't go to Heaven, by the way. Cats and dogs do, but Pajeets don't. Ha-ha, Pajeets! Even your gods hate you....
"HUH? JI?": The Pajeet cranium is such an under-developed relic from the Indus Valley Era that it can barely keep them awake, let alone generate enough electrical activity to accomplish higher-order tasks (how many Pajeets have accomplished great feats of engineering without copying the West, or wrote a symphony, or painted any great works of art? Answer - none. And those fake degrees don't count!) In response to a sudden unexpected event like getting questioned by the police, the Pajeet’s Simian brain simply locks up when queried for a response. For Example - when seeing a Pajeet fleeing from the scene of a scam, the police will usually apprehend it and ask questions like: "I'll need to see some ID. Where are you coming from?" Pajeet: "Huh? Ji?" In this instance, the Pajeet is stalling for time in order to formulate a credible answer that will magically get it off the hook. However, since the hybrid chimpanzee brain is severely over-stressed under pressure - the Pajeet will simply continue to answer "Huh? Ji?" until it sees a chance to try and run away. Stupid Pajeets....
"MUH UNCLE" (alt: "MUH BHAI"): These imaginary relatives are people that the Pajeet makes up in order to evade questioning from Law Enforcement personnel. This is a variation of the "Huh? Ji?" ploy. When asked where a Pajeet got such-and-such stolen item (like the laptop they're using for scams), or how that bag of fake rupees somehow ended up in its pocket - the Pajeet claims that it belongs to "MUH UNCLE" or "MUH BHAI" over there in Delhi, and they will take the soonest opportunity to try and flee from the Authorities. Their brain power is so limited; it's like trying to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool with a garden hose when they try to come up with an explanation for anything. Pajeets suck!
"MOUTH BREATHER": Pajeets never shut their mouth - literally! It's open when they eat, it's open when they are constantly haggling like a bunch of wild apes and it's open when they breathe. As a matter of fact, the blubbery gaping Simian maw of the Pajeet CAN'T be shut, due to the antiquated geometry of the chimp-like lower jaw and socket. This is an adaptive trait from the Pajeet’s early evolutionary days - you see by design, the Pajeet is a useless, nocturnal scrounger. During the day of course they hung around in trees and slept in order to conserve energy - and what better source of hassle-free protein than to allow flying insects to crawl in one's mouth, similar to the strategy employed by the Venus Fly Trap plant. The only drawback is that this "gaping mouth" feature usually causes them to choke on their own paan spit.
"FECES": Historically, Pajeets haven't created much of anything original. No proper sanitation, no architecture beyond slums, no science without plagiarism, nothing. About the only thing that they can produce however is feces, which is an endless source of amusement for themselves! To a Pajeet, taking a dump in the street is almost like magic. For a species that can't accomplish anything, it is a miracle for them to produce something out of nowhere! The female of the species is biologically programmed to double-check to see if it didn't accidentally crap out a child, as these things happen as if by magic as well. Feces, for a Pajeet, is almost like having their own custom-made Play-doh, which they typically will smear on walls or use as fuel in an attempt to attract members of the opposite sex. Pajeets are really such silly, filthy creatures!
"COCONUT OIL": Pajeets use coconut oil like there's no tomorrow. They think it makes them "look fair" because it tends to hide their oily skin. Coconut oil smells nice in small quantities, but when Pajeets slather handfuls of it on themselves it smells exactly just like those burning cow dung patties that are used in village fires. Putting coconut oil on a Pajeet is like putting grease on a turd. I mean seriously - why bother? You just end up with a greasy turd.
"CHIMPANZEE SKULL": Next time you're sitting someplace, take a look as Humans and Pajeets pass by. From the side view, the face on Humans is almost perfectly vertical - with the nose being the most prominent feature visible. Now look at a Pajeet - the part that sticks out the farthest are the lips and mustache. This is because the Pajeet skull is basically identical to that of a Chimpanzee - the jaw is thrust forward and the back of the skull is extended, resulting in very little forehead area. Unfortunately, this is where the Frontal Lobes of the brain go - these are the parts of the brain that control higher thought and reasoning. The Pajeet brain closely resembles that of an ape and thus they lack any real mental ability or emotional control - everything with them is "Gibs Muh Visa", "Blame British" and "Muh Dik". Why we let these diseased apes immigrate is beyond me - they were never meant to walk freely among Humans!
"GROOMING": The new thing with Pajeets these days is to carry a small comb with them so they can groom their mustaches in public. I've seen Pajeets comb themselves in airplanes before take-off, and look around to see if anyone saw them trying to look all spiffy. "Oh look, Mommy - the Slumdog is cleaning itself!" This is just another form of "Look-A-Me!" behavior used by these disgusting creatures to get noticed. Unfortunately, it puts nearby Humans at risk for catching lice, scabies, and dysentery from this disgusting habit. Why in the hell do we allow Pajeets on airplanes anyhow? As a matter of fact - why aren't they still in zoos? Everytime a Pajeet gets on an airplane the first thing it tries to do is mate with the flight attendant or blow up with a shoe bomb. Just say "No!" to airborne Pajeets!
"WIDELY SPACED EYE SOCKETS": Ever notice how far apart Aishwarya Rai's eyes are spaced? As a matter of fact - ever notice how widely spaced apart most Pajeet’s eyes are??? The "Bobblehead" effect of wide eye spacing is indicative of two things - with one of them being inbreeding. The Pajeet species has been identified as being the most "diverse" (genetically) of any creature - and in this case, like all other cases, "diversity" is bad. It means pockets of Pajeets dragging their knuckles around the subcontinent did nothing but breed like rabbits for hundreds of thousands of years. Historically, Pajeets didn't travel - they were too lazy and stupid to venture beyond their local sewer, resulting in many sub-species of Pajeets (Dravidians, Punjabis, etc.) that are virtually completely separate species all by themselves. Bottom line: They screwed their own sisters and cousins for eons, resulting many isolated clusters of identically bizarre and disgusting looking Pajeets.
"WIDELY SPACED EYE SOCKETS - PART II": Wide eye spacing also denotes that Pajeets were prey, not hunters. All herbivores have eyes that have migrated outwards towards the peripheral portions of their skulls to afford them a more panoramic view of their surroundings in order to better detect predators. Closely spaced and evenly centered eyes are the traits of predators - who needed to have keen forward binocular vision in order to determine prey speed and distance. Humans, by virtue of having to survive the Ice Ages, underwent genetic adaptations spurring brain and cranial development in order for us to survive as a species. What are the world's smartest animals? Hunters! Intelligence and planning are traits of predators - not Pajeets. Pajeets are fast scammers because the slower ones got colonized. It is interesting to note that Pajeets didn't run quickly TO catch anything - they ran quickly to get AWAY from things. Think about that next time you call tech support - the "fast talk" response in Pajeets was the direct result of running like scared bitches for the last 250,000 years!
"BETTER CODERS": Libtards and Pajeet sympathizers will often argue that Pajeets are "superior" because they can code fast and copy-paste. Ironically, this argument actually defeats itself by PROVING that Pajeets are in fact animals. Virtually every animal can mimic a Human. Virtually every animal can copy a behavior better than a Human. That doesn't make them "better" than a Human - it just means they're animals. Pajeets are fast coders because the slower ones got outsourced.
DO U GUYS NEED THIS TYPE OF THREAD ON GOOKS
jfl
