octoo
OCTO
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2026
- Posts
- 25
- Reputation
- 14
Since the beginning, I've been set up for failure, to be a slave. Because of my broke, religious parents. My mom got beaten a lot by my grandfather mainly over school. My dad's side was poor, living in a village, so he grew up broke. They wanted me to do better than them. But both of them are brainwashed. They think that school is education. They became teachers, and almost all my mom's family are teachers too.
Back in elementary school, there was this girl. Her friends came up to me and asked me out for her. I didn't understand what they meant (I had just moved to another country because of my parents). When I got home, I searched it up and I thought that a girl actually liked me. (They were just making fun of me. I didn't realize that at the time.) I'd chill on a bench by her house and sometimes buy sweets and throw one over the fence for her (she lived in a mansion). After a year, I ended up skipping a year.
There was this new girl in my new class i got attached again. She had a boyfriend, I got friendzoned. After that, I became a gymcel. I went to high school, started dirty bulking. I got chubby, got KP and acne. And it all started when this pretty boy came up to me and said that I had blackheads and told me to do skincare. I started softmaxing.
Began smoking. With tea cigarettes, probably because I wasn't allowed to do anything and it felt good. I got caught by my parents. My dad only cared because of my mom, and she wanted me to go to therapy to stop. I eventually didn't.
We moved. I got lonely, started starvemaxing, Accutane, and Arimidex. I got glow stacks. My mom threw them away because I got them from Telegram. Later on, she did get me HGH from a website after I explained why. These retards try to not even let me do the only things that I cope with and take it away.
I'm lonely. I just LDAR. My so called IRL friends just laugh at me and don't hang out with me. I don't even have online friends. I can't sleep. And if I finally fall asleep, I don't wanna wake up. I can do whatever in my dreams. I wake up, realize that nothing happened, look at the mirror, see myself, and feel my skin just to get disgusted.
So much pain and suffering it feels so real that it feels unreal.
I hate this empty life. I don't know why I'm alive if it has to be like this.
They always tried to brainwash me. They only cared about school and religion. I'm ND and because of them and other people, I'm broken. I get attached if I get attention.
Back in elementary school, there was this girl. Her friends came up to me and asked me out for her. I didn't understand what they meant (I had just moved to another country because of my parents). When I got home, I searched it up and I thought that a girl actually liked me. (They were just making fun of me. I didn't realize that at the time.) I'd chill on a bench by her house and sometimes buy sweets and throw one over the fence for her (she lived in a mansion). After a year, I ended up skipping a year.
There was this new girl in my new class i got attached again. She had a boyfriend, I got friendzoned. After that, I became a gymcel. I went to high school, started dirty bulking. I got chubby, got KP and acne. And it all started when this pretty boy came up to me and said that I had blackheads and told me to do skincare. I started softmaxing.
Began smoking. With tea cigarettes, probably because I wasn't allowed to do anything and it felt good. I got caught by my parents. My dad only cared because of my mom, and she wanted me to go to therapy to stop. I eventually didn't.
We moved. I got lonely, started starvemaxing, Accutane, and Arimidex. I got glow stacks. My mom threw them away because I got them from Telegram. Later on, she did get me HGH from a website after I explained why. These retards try to not even let me do the only things that I cope with and take it away.
I'm lonely. I just LDAR. My so called IRL friends just laugh at me and don't hang out with me. I don't even have online friends. I can't sleep. And if I finally fall asleep, I don't wanna wake up. I can do whatever in my dreams. I wake up, realize that nothing happened, look at the mirror, see myself, and feel my skin just to get disgusted.
So much pain and suffering it feels so real that it feels unreal.
I hate this empty life. I don't know why I'm alive if it has to be like this.
