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user91821
Iron
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- Jun 11, 2025
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I always had a fascination with fringe internet communities. I remember browsing incel subreddits back in the day, not because I believed in it, but out of curiosity and it felt like a form of digital anthropology. Just learning about different cultures and people. I doomscroll on tiktok, so my formal introduction to blackpill ideology came from there. I remember thinking it was kind of silly, but I wonder if it might have had an effect on my subconscious. I used to think that looks did not matter and I never cared about my physical appearance. Now that I am more aware, it's a pretty sad realization to learn that it does matter to a certain degree. I don't believe in the black-pill ideology, but still I feel disillusionment towards reality. For me, it really isn't even about looks, or self improvement, or finding a romantic partner, it's just disillusionment towards reality. Finding out that reality is not really what you thought or expected it to be. Not that I have main character syndrome or delusions of grandeur, but I always had an idealized perspective on things. Call it a childish innocence or whatever, but I always thought things would happen for a reason and that my life was like a movie.
And I still believe that, deep down. That belief forms the “foundational matrix” of how I see the world, some internal framework I can’t control.
That belief was shattered when my best friend took his own life. My world collapsed. Everything I thought I knew about life just complete broke down. I spiraled into depression. For a year and a half, I did nothing but stay inside and play video games to cope. I kept thinking that this isn’t how the story was supposed to go. I was supposed to save him. There was no resolution, just a void.
For me I guess looksmaxxing is about gaining the self esteem and confidence to do the things you want to do. To achieve a state of self-actualization. I still am depressed,
I think true enlightenment comes from just not caring about what other people think, but it's impossible for me.
Sorry for rambling and sorry if this post is incoherent and makes no sense, I'm just writing what comes to mind.
But that is my understanding of looksmaxxing, and I wanted to know how you guys first discovered looksmaxxing and if anyone feels the same way I do about it.
Again sorry for the long and incoherent post, and I'm not too sure I necessarily believe some of the things I say, sometimes I flip flop my perspective on things.
Thanks.
And I still believe that, deep down. That belief forms the “foundational matrix” of how I see the world, some internal framework I can’t control.
That belief was shattered when my best friend took his own life. My world collapsed. Everything I thought I knew about life just complete broke down. I spiraled into depression. For a year and a half, I did nothing but stay inside and play video games to cope. I kept thinking that this isn’t how the story was supposed to go. I was supposed to save him. There was no resolution, just a void.
For me I guess looksmaxxing is about gaining the self esteem and confidence to do the things you want to do. To achieve a state of self-actualization. I still am depressed,
I think true enlightenment comes from just not caring about what other people think, but it's impossible for me.
Sorry for rambling and sorry if this post is incoherent and makes no sense, I'm just writing what comes to mind.
But that is my understanding of looksmaxxing, and I wanted to know how you guys first discovered looksmaxxing and if anyone feels the same way I do about it.
Again sorry for the long and incoherent post, and I'm not too sure I necessarily believe some of the things I say, sometimes I flip flop my perspective on things.
Thanks.
