lucifer88
卍 heil fucking hitler 卍
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2025
- Posts
- 354
- Reputation
- 278
When having everything means nothing
beautiful song
I always thought that if I had the looks, the height, the attention, life would finally make sense. Instead, I discovered that depression does not care about appearances. From the outside I look complete, but inside I feel like I am slowly collapsing
let me explain
Mogging didn’t make me happy, maybe looks weren’t everything after all genetically, i am superior to most , I’ve got foids hitting me up, good facial aesthetics, height, all of it. But I still have chronic depression (mental healthpill lololo) that seems to come from nowhere. I disappoint every person I care about specially the ones who i love the most just by simply not having energy to even have a simple conversation, is like as if was physically there but my mind was in a complete different world and ofc nobody understands why i act this way, which ends up giving lazy asshole vibes, i just keep getting lazier and dont know how to reach out for help without feeling like a faggot, life seems to just get more and meaningless day by day and idk if i want to keep going . I feel distant from the person I truly want to be and I hate being alive because I never feel like I belong anywhere. I’m embarrassed to even admit or think about how I feel. It’s like I have nothing to pursue in life. This terrible sadness haves carry me throught the years and there is apparently not valid reasons for me to be depressed but i just cant find happines/joy and its tiring, its getting to the point where my body doesnt even want to move.
All i do is talk to strangers on the internet and waste my time now because i want to keep my mind distracted while i completly decay and rot, instead of trying to get better i just continue with my misery
something about life just feels so off i cant even explain the sensation of it just feeling colorless or completly emotionless its as if i was watching someone else through my body live my life and feel the things im supposed to feel because with every social interaction words are there, but my soul is simply not present
everything feels like a loop that never ends wake up scroll eat scroll pretend to care scroll sleep repeat the days blur together like static on a broken screen nothing changes nothing matters everyone’s pretending and i’m just trying to keep up with the noise in my head while smiling at texts i don’t want to answer it’s exhausting being alive when you don’t know why you’re here and even the good moments feel like they’re borrowed from someone else’s life
what even is the point on posting this shut?
people are noise empty vessels chasing validation through screens and status they talk to fill silence not to connect every smile is a transaction every kindness a performance beneath it all is self interest masked as empathy the world isn’t cruel it’s indifferent and the worst part is how everyone pretends that’s not true
but no.. the worst part is that i just talked about me..
i mean it
fuck my stpd miserable life and prob urs too
beautiful song
I always thought that if I had the looks, the height, the attention, life would finally make sense. Instead, I discovered that depression does not care about appearances. From the outside I look complete, but inside I feel like I am slowly collapsing
let me explain
Mogging didn’t make me happy, maybe looks weren’t everything after all genetically, i am superior to most , I’ve got foids hitting me up, good facial aesthetics, height, all of it. But I still have chronic depression (mental healthpill lololo) that seems to come from nowhere. I disappoint every person I care about specially the ones who i love the most just by simply not having energy to even have a simple conversation, is like as if was physically there but my mind was in a complete different world and ofc nobody understands why i act this way, which ends up giving lazy asshole vibes, i just keep getting lazier and dont know how to reach out for help without feeling like a faggot, life seems to just get more and meaningless day by day and idk if i want to keep going . I feel distant from the person I truly want to be and I hate being alive because I never feel like I belong anywhere. I’m embarrassed to even admit or think about how I feel. It’s like I have nothing to pursue in life. This terrible sadness haves carry me throught the years and there is apparently not valid reasons for me to be depressed but i just cant find happines/joy and its tiring, its getting to the point where my body doesnt even want to move.
All i do is talk to strangers on the internet and waste my time now because i want to keep my mind distracted while i completly decay and rot, instead of trying to get better i just continue with my misery
something about life just feels so off i cant even explain the sensation of it just feeling colorless or completly emotionless its as if i was watching someone else through my body live my life and feel the things im supposed to feel because with every social interaction words are there, but my soul is simply not present
everything feels like a loop that never ends wake up scroll eat scroll pretend to care scroll sleep repeat the days blur together like static on a broken screen nothing changes nothing matters everyone’s pretending and i’m just trying to keep up with the noise in my head while smiling at texts i don’t want to answer it’s exhausting being alive when you don’t know why you’re here and even the good moments feel like they’re borrowed from someone else’s life
what even is the point on posting this shut?
people are noise empty vessels chasing validation through screens and status they talk to fill silence not to connect every smile is a transaction every kindness a performance beneath it all is self interest masked as empathy the world isn’t cruel it’s indifferent and the worst part is how everyone pretends that’s not true
but no.. the worst part is that i just talked about me..
fuck my stpd miserable life and prob urs too
