Whenever I'm on the verge of a psychotic / mental breakdown, I get a bunch of epiphanies about the nature of reality

[neurosis]

1. The first time this happened was when I was 12 and my home life was a complete wreck and my immediate family was essentially falling apart - Intuitively it became extremely obvious that everything in my life / world was predetermined, like I was aware of the newtonian mechanistic process of my body and flesh; my organs, white blood cells and that reality was a two-way feedback process between my external environment and my dna
2. Second time was during my first year at college and I was being a lazy fuck and not studying for my midterms, thinking my academic future and life was essentially over - The idea of nothing turning into something kept appearing in my mind and how it wasn't really possible and that this was related to death and the likelihood of something (you /universe ) turning into nothing (dying) was literally impossible and reincarnation was more likely
3. Third time was when I returned home from college and was so anxious about my future to the point of having a near psychotic break from reality - Again, random idea popped into my head about the nature of time and linear time not being possible, making the past and future literally just figments of your imagination and that everything that has ever happened and will ever happen, is happening now

 

[segmt]

Aka you started coping

 

[lastredeemer]

DNR Jewlover

 

[neurosis]

Aka you started coping

Quite the opposite.

Cope = Rejection of truth

Everything in op is me coming to terms with things that I initially didn't know / want to be true

 

[segmt]

Quite the opposite.

Cope = Rejection of truth

Everything in op is me coming to terms with things that I initially didn't know / want to be true

Cope isn't rejection of truth

It's because you were in the moment that you didn't realize these things. When shitty circumstances pushed you to find reasoning/find some type of meaning or meaninglessness, you tried desperately to seek for one because you couldn't bear your situation and it wasn't allowing you to live in the moment.

It makes sense, because you want to escape that moment so you resort to trying to find truths and trying to find some type of order or reasoning of why your life is like this etc.. while if you were truly enjoying something these things wouldn't come to mind at all.

It's been similar for me.

 

[Thief]

Cope isn't rejection of truth

It's because you were in the moment that you didn't realize these things. When shitty circumstances pushed you to find reasoning/find some type of meaning or meaninglessness, you tried desperately to seek for one because you couldn't bear your situation and it wasn't allowing you to live in the moment.

It makes sense, because you want to escape that moment so you resort to trying to find truths and trying to find some type of order or reasoning of why your life is like this etc.. while if you were truly enjoying something these things wouldn't come to mind at all.

It's been similar for me.

^ ~ "Cope isn't rejection of truth"

- Immediately breaks down why it is in fact the rejection of the truth, perhaps you should edit this to say "Cope is not the active rejection of truth, as you lacked understanding of a given reality," even with this reconstructed title I still reckon this spiel of yours is an attack on ones sentience, note OP said "12" when this first happened to him.

+ To group him in with the majority when saying "you resort to trying to find truths and trying to find some type of order or reasoning of why your life is like this" is laughable, when someone is trying to come to terms with something, they don't just discover determinism/the bp, and certainly not at such a young age (under the presumption he's not larping).

Flashy opening line though mate

 

[neurosis]

^ ~ "Cope isn't rejection of truth"

- Immediately breaks down why it is in fact the rejection of the truth, perhaps you should edit this to say "Cope is not the active rejection of truth, as you lacked understanding of a given reality," even with this reconstructed title I still reckon this spiel of yours is an attack on ones sentience, note OP said "12" when this first happened to him.

+ To group him in with the majority when saying "you resort to trying to find truths and trying to find some type of order or reasoning of why your life is like this" is laughable, when someone is trying to come to terms with something, they don't just discover determinism/the bp, and certainly not at such a young age (under the presumption he's not larping).

Flashy opening line though mate

View attachment 4050641

'including this'

 

[neurosis]

they don't just discover determinism/the bp, and certainly not at such a young age (under the presumption he's not larping).

tbh im not really a determinist anymore, its possible @segmt could have a point

 

[segmt]

^ ~ "Cope isn't rejection of truth"

- Immediately breaks down why it is in fact the rejection of the truth, perhaps you should edit this to say "Cope is not the active rejection of truth, as you lacked understanding of a given reality," even with this reconstructed title I still reckon this spiel of yours is an attack on ones sentience, note OP said "12" when this first happened to him.

+ To group him in with the majority when saying "you resort to trying to find truths and trying to find some type of order or reasoning of why your life is like this" is laughable, when someone is trying to come to terms with something, they don't just discover determinism/the bp, and certainly not at such a young age (under the presumption he's not larping).

Flashy opening line though mate

View attachment 4050641

Yes, I should've worded the first line better. I was moreso trying to say coping is trying to reject the current situation/circumstances you're in, not the "Truth" (vague thing to say)

What I was referring to the "trying to find truth" etc in that post is not exactly determinism/bp. I wasn't talking only about his case or his realizations. Of course some people may discover determinism this way. Other people might not discover it that way. But the point I was trying to make is that you aren't pushed to think deeper about your circumstances if you're content/truly happy about it.

 

[Thief]

'including this'

Water, it's not that I wasn't aligned with his reasoning, "Cope isn't rejection of truth," just sounds silly

Inb4 including this

 

[segmt]

Water, it's not that I wasn't aligned with his reasoning, "Cope isn't rejection of truth," just sounds silly

Inb4 including this

jfl its bc he said this

Cope = Rejection of truth

not trying to be flashy its just what came to mind (im not going to edit what I wrote its not an essay)