Why am i a mild reacter to pleasure/fun

[wollet2]

all the supposed to feel good things i ever experienced were just ok.....i never reacted that strong to them, was never passionate to retry them

in the other hand i always reacted extreme to pain/suffering, even the smallest of it. i felt it too much

am i the only like this, or it is just how life is. in either case its just over for me

 

[AlbinoMaxxer]

Fried your dopamine receptors probably

 

[wollet2]

Fried your dopamine receptors probably

nah i was always like this. my fantasy was better than experiencing it in the moment

i thought im not doing it right, but then i started suspecting thats probably all i can receive

 

[wollet2]

Fried your dopamine receptors probably

i have memories of being 5 yo and still unhappy. and you know what, i wasnt depressed i was just ok

child 'happiness' is a myth, people say they were happy as childs but dont remember anything. or i hold high standards of what 'happiness' is. if im so dissatisfied whos going to say i am 'happy'. what a fking weak thing 'happiness' is then

i get anxiety again. ill just shut up and go be happy, whatever that means. cuz i feel like shit all the time. i know this