'Why are many Asian guys socially awkward?' -- r/hapas Gaslighting Competition

[ranierean]

Fellow HAPA’s! I’m a German and S.Korean man. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve seen other American born East Asian guys as strange and socially awkward. Shy, witless with no sense of humor or street smarts whatsoever. K-Mart clothes, moppy headed bowl haircuts and worst of all, spineless. Now as a grown man, I see it everyday in the workplace. Can anyone shed some light on this topic? I know that everyone has made similar observations and more than likely theories as to why this is. It frustrates me to see my East Asian brothers continue to take verbal and physical abuse because they will not stick up for themselves and it’s been bothersome to me my whole life. On many of occasions, I’ve intervened because I’m not going to stand by idly and watch my people endure abuse like that. I’m a college graduate and decorated combat veteran who currently works in Law Enforcement. Throughout my college years, military service enlistment and law enforcement experiences, above mentioned traits appear more common than not with East Asian men. I know with absolute certainty that it bothers them and most certainly bothers me as well. If you are one of these guys, I’d sincerely like to hear from you. Everyone is encouraged to participate, I just ask that everyone be respectful and provide positive feedback. East Asian male suicide is occurs more frequently than you may think and I personally think that this plays an integral part as to why. Also, please no political bullshit about service members and cops. I’ve heard enough of the nonsense already.

Spoiler: reddit

Unddit

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reddit geniuses reply:

I had a very atypical upbringing. I grew up with my half Cantonese cousins who had an upper-class English father. He was also my primary father figure since my dad wasn’t really in the picture. It sounds silly, but “banter” was just…how everyone spoke to each other. Being literate, extemporising and telling stories in an amusing way, and mastering the art of the perfect riposte were things we all learned to do at a young age. My cousins were the total opposite of the “awkward Asian guy” described above; incredibly charming, confident, and popular with girls.

I feel like a lot of East Asian families don’t invest that much in “purely” social opportunities. The focus is often on school, family, and maybe a classical musical instrument. A lot of East Asian parents don’t invest in “purely” social activities like parties, regular large friend/extended family gatherings, religious activities, and the like. To get better at socializing you need practice. If you aren’t exposed to it you are probably feel awkward.

That's just kind of how Confucian cultures work. I don't like calling East Asians derogatory terms like "shy, witless, no sense of humor, spineless." East Asians are usually philosophically Confucian or Buddhist. There are certain social rules that apply in East Asian cultures. When you read many of the Confucian proverbs, they say things like avoiding extreme emotions, valuing family and social order, and knowing social roles.

So I’ve seen things growing up with Asian friends and now as a parent. It’s surprising how much of people’s awkwardness is caused by parenting decision. For example my oldest in first year of school had a birthday. We invited everyone to the party in her class. Not everyone came. Those that did also had birthday parties and invited everyone. Only certain people came. Over time we stopped inviting those that didn’t respond and the remaining kids just kept inviting each other. They became friends, they had playdates, their parents chatted while waiting to pick up their kids, they had iPads and played together at night. Every day when they went to school they had a secure friend group. These kids became the popular kids as they grew. They had so much more social interactions over the years that they became good at it.

“if you’re a 5’4 truecel that was bullied and ostracized all his life… just start being more outgoing and social bro! master the riposte, stop being weird, learn to respect women”

You know… I would heartily chuckle at this if it wasn’t so cruel… my life is just shit…

I mean, even this indian forum does this disgusting sleight of hand where you say the most brutal blackpilling stuff about Asians only then–with the exact same people–to turn around and tell someone like me, “it’s not that bad actually, relax!”

No, race is a massive handicap for objective reasons. Asians are evil to each other and have no sense of loyalty because they’re subhuman. Outsiders play with them and get away with everything because they’re subhuman. Racism is life itself, it’s not a random constellation of stereotypes on TV and people being rude to you for vacuous reasons or whatever.

Even these retarded redditors blame upbringing and childhood but they do it in such a tone that implies that this is just something you can overcome and work around …like, no? It’s fucking over. It was over even before you were a sperm.

 

[WhiteMan]

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[NoHoesinOhio]

get a new shtick, oldcel troon

 

[Brus Wane]

This is so relevant to me but idk if I wanna read this

Could be suifuel

 

[Flowerpot]

get a new shtick, oldcel troon

It's either oldcel, or oldtroon, not oldcel troon.