beefliverontop
Mistral
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2024
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I have emotional hypersensitivity.
When im angry i wanna unironically go ER and if I had a gun i would kill every single foid around me (not even kidding)
When im sad I wanna rope, like genuine suicidal thoughts enter my mind
When im happy I feel sooo happy like i am the kindest person ever. I can help 30 homeless people and solve war between countries
When i have anxiety i start worrying like crazy.
i have this i dont know what its caled, other than this i have extreme OCD, Autism, and ADHD. I might be sociopathic/pyschopathic
And no, good diet + exercise didnt save me. I was born like this for some reason. When I was 4 I used to crazy stuff to this foid who was in the same class with me. I brutally bullied her until she left the school because of me after 3 years.
I used to bite her, punch her, kiss her.
Just alot of fucking sexual assault and non consentual touching. Some days i treated her amazing and she was so confused. I used to hug her, kiss her and touch her in some weird places and i think she genuinely used to enjoy it lmao, then the next day I would beat her up (like sucker punch her, im not even kidding) and bite her in… weird places…
I used to go to the girls changing locker when i was 6 and I entered and i used to throw their clothes to the shower so i made it all wet. (Brutal)
Eventually when i was 8 I changed schools and for some reason i suddenly became so HIGH INHIBITION. Like i was shy as fuck. Im in a new school surrounded with people i dont know. I was suddenly the kindest guy ever. 8-13 years old was my peak, i stopped being so aggresive and being so bipolar for some weird reason. I went through puberty early so i was the tallest kid in class. I was 6 foot while everyone was 5’5-5’7.
I was suddenly kind, shy, and a tall HTN. Of course the girls liked me they told me now they admitted to it but i never noticed it. Now that i think about it no wonder i got so much attention.
Eventually for some reason i started getting anxiety attacks again, like brutal anxiety attacks. My first suicidal thoughts came when i was 12 years old. Yes, i was suffering that much. Anxiety and those emotion hypersensitivity was killing me.
my anger issues came back and once a girl poked me with a pencil on the back on my head was flirting with me but i didnt notice because remember I am a autist, adhd, OCD, emotional hypersensitivity cel.
I was suddenly angry and then i punched her arm. A right hook. Her arm was all red and shit
I got suspended for 2 days for hitting a girl and everyone was genuinely surprised because at this new school, i was seen as the super kind, shy, tall HTN kiddo.
After that i went to high school. This is where it all went wrong.
Right now I am 14 and 6’1 which is just average height in my country. I am nothing special, but super brutal acne descended me hard. Like due to acne im LTN (im on accutane dw)
Right now i am still very high inhib.
Like the best way to explain it is: ALL of my emotions are on steroids:
as i said when im depressed i start to wanna kill my self or i just really hate my self
thr anxiety is so brutal i hate this one the most it just makes me feel anxious 24/7
The anger issues affect my friends and family and gives me a bad rep.
A pro is that my happiness is crazy. When im
Happy its literally all rainbow and sunshines for me haha
But that doesnt matter.
Most of my life gets consumed by negative emotions now. I have been suffering 24/7 for no reason for 2-3 years. I hate my life.
The worst part is I cant hope with looks.
Yes i can be HTN facially if i wanted to and yes i can be 6’3 with lifts but it wont change shit.
How do i cope?
Well i try to cope with love. The voices stop when a girl is giving me attention and love.
Right now, like im 100% serious. I am not joking at all.
I have murderous thoughts, rape thoughts, and suicidal thoughts. I wanna kill people, i wanna rape foids, i wanna kill my self aswell (sometimes)
If only I had a gun, i would genuinely go ER
All this bipolarness is killing me slowly
Is this because of past childhood trauma?
no, my childhood was normal. My parents tried to raise me normal. I used to get everything i wanted. (Which isnt necessarily a good thing)
BUt. I was born like this.
I showed sociopathic signs since when i was 5, i remember i used sexually assault other little girls my age. Like I mean straight up licking their faces, beating them up, and touching them in places where it shouldnt go.
I struggle with murder thoughts, rape thoughts, suicidal thoughts, anxiety. OCD, autism, depression. Every single day. The negative emotions consume me everyday the last 3 years
im a very nice guy in general as i said when im happy im the nicest guy in the world when i become sad i just get crazy anxiety attacks
My anger for foids is just too much for me to handle sometimes
What do u guys suggest?
Weed? Maybe?
Ive tried alcohol and it works very well. It really just puts my brain on rest mode and i dont get these thoughts anymore. I love it so much. If only it didnt fucking increase estrogen so much.
Plan is for now to ascend to chadlite+ with hardmaxxing to see if being beautiful will fix me. I doubt it tho
(All of this in Minecraft of course haha)
When im angry i wanna unironically go ER and if I had a gun i would kill every single foid around me (not even kidding)
When im sad I wanna rope, like genuine suicidal thoughts enter my mind
When im happy I feel sooo happy like i am the kindest person ever. I can help 30 homeless people and solve war between countries
When i have anxiety i start worrying like crazy.
i have this i dont know what its caled, other than this i have extreme OCD, Autism, and ADHD. I might be sociopathic/pyschopathic
And no, good diet + exercise didnt save me. I was born like this for some reason. When I was 4 I used to crazy stuff to this foid who was in the same class with me. I brutally bullied her until she left the school because of me after 3 years.
I used to bite her, punch her, kiss her.
Just alot of fucking sexual assault and non consentual touching. Some days i treated her amazing and she was so confused. I used to hug her, kiss her and touch her in some weird places and i think she genuinely used to enjoy it lmao, then the next day I would beat her up (like sucker punch her, im not even kidding) and bite her in… weird places…
I used to go to the girls changing locker when i was 6 and I entered and i used to throw their clothes to the shower so i made it all wet. (Brutal)
Eventually when i was 8 I changed schools and for some reason i suddenly became so HIGH INHIBITION. Like i was shy as fuck. Im in a new school surrounded with people i dont know. I was suddenly the kindest guy ever. 8-13 years old was my peak, i stopped being so aggresive and being so bipolar for some weird reason. I went through puberty early so i was the tallest kid in class. I was 6 foot while everyone was 5’5-5’7.
I was suddenly kind, shy, and a tall HTN. Of course the girls liked me they told me now they admitted to it but i never noticed it. Now that i think about it no wonder i got so much attention.
Eventually for some reason i started getting anxiety attacks again, like brutal anxiety attacks. My first suicidal thoughts came when i was 12 years old. Yes, i was suffering that much. Anxiety and those emotion hypersensitivity was killing me.
my anger issues came back and once a girl poked me with a pencil on the back on my head was flirting with me but i didnt notice because remember I am a autist, adhd, OCD, emotional hypersensitivity cel.
I was suddenly angry and then i punched her arm. A right hook. Her arm was all red and shit
I got suspended for 2 days for hitting a girl and everyone was genuinely surprised because at this new school, i was seen as the super kind, shy, tall HTN kiddo.
After that i went to high school. This is where it all went wrong.
Right now I am 14 and 6’1 which is just average height in my country. I am nothing special, but super brutal acne descended me hard. Like due to acne im LTN (im on accutane dw)
Right now i am still very high inhib.
Like the best way to explain it is: ALL of my emotions are on steroids:
as i said when im depressed i start to wanna kill my self or i just really hate my self
thr anxiety is so brutal i hate this one the most it just makes me feel anxious 24/7
The anger issues affect my friends and family and gives me a bad rep.
A pro is that my happiness is crazy. When im
Happy its literally all rainbow and sunshines for me haha
But that doesnt matter.
Most of my life gets consumed by negative emotions now. I have been suffering 24/7 for no reason for 2-3 years. I hate my life.
The worst part is I cant hope with looks.
Yes i can be HTN facially if i wanted to and yes i can be 6’3 with lifts but it wont change shit.
How do i cope?
Well i try to cope with love. The voices stop when a girl is giving me attention and love.
Right now, like im 100% serious. I am not joking at all.
I have murderous thoughts, rape thoughts, and suicidal thoughts. I wanna kill people, i wanna rape foids, i wanna kill my self aswell (sometimes)
If only I had a gun, i would genuinely go ER
All this bipolarness is killing me slowly
Is this because of past childhood trauma?
no, my childhood was normal. My parents tried to raise me normal. I used to get everything i wanted. (Which isnt necessarily a good thing)
BUt. I was born like this.
I showed sociopathic signs since when i was 5, i remember i used sexually assault other little girls my age. Like I mean straight up licking their faces, beating them up, and touching them in places where it shouldnt go.
I struggle with murder thoughts, rape thoughts, suicidal thoughts, anxiety. OCD, autism, depression. Every single day. The negative emotions consume me everyday the last 3 years
im a very nice guy in general as i said when im happy im the nicest guy in the world when i become sad i just get crazy anxiety attacks
My anger for foids is just too much for me to handle sometimes
What do u guys suggest?
Weed? Maybe?
Ive tried alcohol and it works very well. It really just puts my brain on rest mode and i dont get these thoughts anymore. I love it so much. If only it didnt fucking increase estrogen so much.
Plan is for now to ascend to chadlite+ with hardmaxxing to see if being beautiful will fix me. I doubt it tho
(All of this in Minecraft of course haha)
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