Mediterranean
Larpcel
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2022
- Posts
- 1,729
- Reputation
- 4,175
Hello, Reddit. I need some advice because I am genuinely baffled and, honestly, heartbroken. I am a 27-year-old Indian man living in Bangalore, and I consider myself a true feminist. Not the fake, performative type who slaps “Male Feminist” in their dating profiles and calls it a day. No, I actually livefeminism—I read, I discuss, I act.
I have devoured the works of bell hooks, Simone de Beauvoir, Roxane Gay, Judith Butler, and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I once gave a 15-minute impromptu speech about hegemonic masculinityat a friend’s birthday party when some guy made a “kitchen jokes” comment. I am the guy who stops to correct other men when they say something problematic, even in WhatsApp group chats. And yet… women do not seem to notice me. Or worse, they friend-zone me while giving all their attention to gym bros and tech guys who think “intersectionality” is a Marvel movie.
I’ve had exactly one relationship in my life, and honestly, it left me scarred. It was three years ago. Let’s call her Ananya. She wasn’t conventionally attractive, but I didn’t care—looks mean nothing in a world where we should focus on dismantling the beauty-industrial complex. Ananya was, let’s say, on the heavier side, but I never made her feel insecure about it. In fact, I constantly told her she was beautiful because I believed it.
I supported her in every way. When her family fat-shamed her, I gave her a 45-minute pep talk about body positivity. I introduced her to the works of Naomi Wolf (The Beauty Myth, anyone?) to help her reclaim her power. I even accompanied her to a Zumba class because she was nervous about being judged. I was there for her emotionally, intellectually, and even financially (I paid for almost all of our dates because she said her salary wasn’t great).
But guess what? She cheated on me. With her gym trainer. A guy who literally said, “Feminism? Yeah, it’s when women think they’re better than men, right?” She left me for a man who didn’t even believe in gender equality. The betrayal still haunts me. And the worst part? I found out because she accidentally sent me a selfie meant for him. It was a mirror selfie of her holding a protein shake, captioned “Who’s your fit queen?”
I confronted her, and she had the audacity to tell me I was “too nice” and that she didn’t feel a “spark.” Too nice? I bought her a subscription to JSTOR so she could access feminist journals for free. What more do women want?
Since then, I’ve doubled down on being the best feminist ally I can be. I started attending every gender equality seminar within a 50-kilometer radius. I run a blog called Woke Warrior Diaries where I dissect toxic masculinity in Bollywood movies. I once staged a solo protest outside a café that didn’t have a unisex bathroom.
And yet, here I am, still single. Meanwhile, I watch women flock to guys who spend their weekends flexing in front of mirrors or buying NFTs. What am I doing wrong? Is it because I don’t fit the stereotype of a “cool” guy? Should I stop quoting Adrienne Rich during casual conversations?
I genuinely care about women. I don’t just want a relationship; I want a partnership where we uplift each other and fight the patriarchy together. But maybe I’m too progressive? Maybe the world isn’t ready for a man who respects women this much?
Please, Reddit, help me. I feel like I’m being punished for being a decent human being. Why is the universe so cruel to male allies like me?
I have devoured the works of bell hooks, Simone de Beauvoir, Roxane Gay, Judith Butler, and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I once gave a 15-minute impromptu speech about hegemonic masculinityat a friend’s birthday party when some guy made a “kitchen jokes” comment. I am the guy who stops to correct other men when they say something problematic, even in WhatsApp group chats. And yet… women do not seem to notice me. Or worse, they friend-zone me while giving all their attention to gym bros and tech guys who think “intersectionality” is a Marvel movie.
I’ve had exactly one relationship in my life, and honestly, it left me scarred. It was three years ago. Let’s call her Ananya. She wasn’t conventionally attractive, but I didn’t care—looks mean nothing in a world where we should focus on dismantling the beauty-industrial complex. Ananya was, let’s say, on the heavier side, but I never made her feel insecure about it. In fact, I constantly told her she was beautiful because I believed it.
I supported her in every way. When her family fat-shamed her, I gave her a 45-minute pep talk about body positivity. I introduced her to the works of Naomi Wolf (The Beauty Myth, anyone?) to help her reclaim her power. I even accompanied her to a Zumba class because she was nervous about being judged. I was there for her emotionally, intellectually, and even financially (I paid for almost all of our dates because she said her salary wasn’t great).
But guess what? She cheated on me. With her gym trainer. A guy who literally said, “Feminism? Yeah, it’s when women think they’re better than men, right?” She left me for a man who didn’t even believe in gender equality. The betrayal still haunts me. And the worst part? I found out because she accidentally sent me a selfie meant for him. It was a mirror selfie of her holding a protein shake, captioned “Who’s your fit queen?”
I confronted her, and she had the audacity to tell me I was “too nice” and that she didn’t feel a “spark.” Too nice? I bought her a subscription to JSTOR so she could access feminist journals for free. What more do women want?
Since then, I’ve doubled down on being the best feminist ally I can be. I started attending every gender equality seminar within a 50-kilometer radius. I run a blog called Woke Warrior Diaries where I dissect toxic masculinity in Bollywood movies. I once staged a solo protest outside a café that didn’t have a unisex bathroom.
And yet, here I am, still single. Meanwhile, I watch women flock to guys who spend their weekends flexing in front of mirrors or buying NFTs. What am I doing wrong? Is it because I don’t fit the stereotype of a “cool” guy? Should I stop quoting Adrienne Rich during casual conversations?
I genuinely care about women. I don’t just want a relationship; I want a partnership where we uplift each other and fight the patriarchy together. But maybe I’m too progressive? Maybe the world isn’t ready for a man who respects women this much?
Please, Reddit, help me. I feel like I’m being punished for being a decent human being. Why is the universe so cruel to male allies like me?
