Short Ugly and Brown
This account has NO relation to Nathaniel M.
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2019
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This year when I switched schools from the first day of school I had this one beautiful girl in half my classes that sat near me with super thick long brown hair, a cute dainty upturn feminine nose, wide and pretty lips, lovely eyes and eyebrows, large gorgeous cheeks, and a thin feminine neck. From the first day I legit became infatuated, everything about her appearance was mesmerizing to me, every glance I got of her I wanted to curl up into a ball and melt of joy. Seeing her after school or after class in hallways made me redden of love and my heart nourished. The feelings and emotions that pulsated through me when I saw her on a daily basis were indescribable apart from she was the first girl to give me love and to fill me with love.
It got so bad to the point where when I was making friends and we were talking about the hottest girl in our class, I'd always signal that I thought she was the prettiest, then my facial expression changed with a blush or clamping my arms together and my friends would be like, ooooh u have a crush! I overtime eventually went to talk to her one time after Economics class and I asked about advice for making up a vocabulary test. As soon as I made eye contact with her I lost complete track of what I was thinking and started stuttering/shaking my leg and meanwhile she became confused and I ended up walking into the door while we were talking. I became so embarrassed
that I made a remark and I ran away into a nearby stall and started crying out of embarrassment.
Later my feelings for her built up so much through the weeks of school that I finally decided I needed to let it all out, I wrote her a
. I wrote everything about what I thought of her, how she made me feel, everything. I wrote it anonymously because I was always too embarrassed to tell her in person how I felt. Eventually I got the feeling she knew it was me so I made a second letter to her and out of embarrassment/fear she would tell her other friends about my huge crush for her, I lied by saying that the first letter was a meaningless and I just want to be friends. Later she confronted and rejected me which put me in a state of sadness, I felt bad about lying and saying I just wanted to be friends and I didn't know what to do, my feelings for her were still strong as ever and my friends Bryan Mateo Eli Johnny Kevin etc all convinced me to ask one of them if she would kiss me for 1,000 dollars. The idea of money disgusted me, but my love for her was as deep as ever, I always told them if I got one hug or kiss from her (aka a form of validation) I would be the happiest guy in the school. Eventually I agreed and they asked her and she ended up saying no . As much as I tried to hide it my feelings were still there, my friends always asked me to share my secrets and I told them how I cope with not having her as my girlfriend by stuff I do at home like making out to pictures of her and etc. Eventually one of them (Bryan) got in an argument with me at school, and threatened to show her all the embarrassing stuff I did in regards with her/ said about her if I didn't PayPal him $200. I never paid him the money so he showed her everything. Her parents found out too and said I need to get over her and that I can't keep obsessing over her and continuing on the same path I am.
The worst part is my love for her is so strong, everything I do to dampen my feelings doesn't work, Ive never been this obsessed with someone or been in a state of limerence before.
If I step out of line again, try to show her more of my feelings, then my future will be in jeopardy if it isn't already
That was why I made all the oneitis threads, it was a way of venting my love for a girl in a way I thought no one I knew irl would find out about because I don't want the stuff that goes through my embarrassing mind getting everywhere.
I never asked to be in love with her, I don't want to be known as the creepy kid, or the stalker, or the obsessive loser that makes out to pictures of someone. It just happened, I couldn't control my emotions/feelings and now I pray to G-d asking for a 2nd chance
It got so bad to the point where when I was making friends and we were talking about the hottest girl in our class, I'd always signal that I thought she was the prettiest, then my facial expression changed with a blush or clamping my arms together and my friends would be like, ooooh u have a crush! I overtime eventually went to talk to her one time after Economics class and I asked about advice for making up a vocabulary test. As soon as I made eye contact with her I lost complete track of what I was thinking and started stuttering/shaking my leg and meanwhile she became confused and I ended up walking into the door while we were talking. I became so embarrassed
that I made a remark and I ran away into a nearby stall and started crying out of embarrassment.Later my feelings for her built up so much through the weeks of school that I finally decided I needed to let it all out, I wrote her a
"
I've kept my feelings for you bottled up inside of me from the first day of senior year, but now I'm ready to tell you: I love you. You are the visage of an angel in human flesh your braided long brown hair, the way it rest against your shoulder like a bundle of roses on grassy knoll, and your soft feminine voice like gentle plucks of a cherub's lyre. Your warm cheeks and radiant smile melt my heart upon even a single glance. Every strand of hair and drop of blood in you conveys love and compassion. Not only your beauty, I'm infatuated by your strong morals. It does not go unoticed; your diligent work for academic excellence and a good future where others would lackadaisically sit through classes for; your self restraint and moral scrupulousness in how you dress and stay truthful to your faith. All these characteristics and more inclined me profess my love. Your eminence is blinding. Since I've met you other women are but shadows. Your kindness and innocence warms my heart; never would you act with malice towards others. Even on the darkest of days, when I'm down in the dumps and the outlook isn't good for me in or outside of school, your magnanimous nature makes gives me a high stronger and more potent than any drug. Just to feel your embrace would fill me with warmth and comfort to last until my grave. Faith, I can't get you out of my mind. Night and day my head is filled with thoughts of you and only you.
If we were at starbucks i would get you your favorite beverage but since we aren’t. Included a giftcard on the house. I do not ask for anything in return so please accept the giftcard as a token to my appreciation.
I just wanted to add, if this letter made you uncomfortable then please just give the person you received it from a letter to me saying you do not want to receive any more of these letters and i'll oblige."
I've kept my feelings for you bottled up inside of me from the first day of senior year, but now I'm ready to tell you: I love you. You are the visage of an angel in human flesh your braided long brown hair, the way it rest against your shoulder like a bundle of roses on grassy knoll, and your soft feminine voice like gentle plucks of a cherub's lyre. Your warm cheeks and radiant smile melt my heart upon even a single glance. Every strand of hair and drop of blood in you conveys love and compassion. Not only your beauty, I'm infatuated by your strong morals. It does not go unoticed; your diligent work for academic excellence and a good future where others would lackadaisically sit through classes for; your self restraint and moral scrupulousness in how you dress and stay truthful to your faith. All these characteristics and more inclined me profess my love. Your eminence is blinding. Since I've met you other women are but shadows. Your kindness and innocence warms my heart; never would you act with malice towards others. Even on the darkest of days, when I'm down in the dumps and the outlook isn't good for me in or outside of school, your magnanimous nature makes gives me a high stronger and more potent than any drug. Just to feel your embrace would fill me with warmth and comfort to last until my grave. Faith, I can't get you out of my mind. Night and day my head is filled with thoughts of you and only you.
If we were at starbucks i would get you your favorite beverage but since we aren’t. Included a giftcard on the house. I do not ask for anything in return so please accept the giftcard as a token to my appreciation.
I just wanted to add, if this letter made you uncomfortable then please just give the person you received it from a letter to me saying you do not want to receive any more of these letters and i'll oblige."
. As much as I tried to hide it my feelings were still there, my friends always asked me to share my secrets and I told them how I cope with not having her as my girlfriend by stuff I do at home like making out to pictures of her and etc. Eventually one of them (Bryan) got in an argument with me at school, and threatened to show her all the embarrassing stuff I did in regards with her/ said about her if I didn't PayPal him $200. I never paid him the money so he showed her everything. Her parents found out too and said I need to get over her and that I can't keep obsessing over her and continuing on the same path I am.The worst part is my love for her is so strong, everything I do to dampen my feelings doesn't work, Ive never been this obsessed with someone or been in a state of limerence before.
If I step out of line again, try to show her more of my feelings, then my future will be in jeopardy if it isn't already
That was why I made all the oneitis threads, it was a way of venting my love for a girl in a way I thought no one I knew irl would find out about because I don't want the stuff that goes through my embarrassing mind getting everywhere.
I never asked to be in love with her, I don't want to be known as the creepy kid, or the stalker, or the obsessive loser that makes out to pictures of someone. It just happened, I couldn't control my emotions/feelings and now I pray to G-d asking for a 2nd chance
