TerminatorGenisys9
Silver
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- Jul 3, 2025
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So quarantine and going into hs post quarantine a fat short ugly fucking loser really fucked me up for the rest of my life. I’d say I lost weight by sophomore year and would be considered normal or skinny but I was pretty boneless had a shit haircut and just looked malnourished now.
Junior year I started gaining weight again and this is when bp seriously took over as I had the biggest crush on the girl who sat infront of me for a whole semester and didn’t talk to her not once. She would ask me for a pencil charger asked for my name once and I would never initiate a convo. I was already pilled from what I thought were niche tiktok edits and just knew I stood no chance as I didn’t like the way I looked here.
Senior year I looked the best I did all of hs and talked to absolutely no girls had no prom date and just stayed within my group and didn’t wanna even meet people at all or hang out cause of my appearance mostly looksmaxxing started getting more trendy and I got so shy and would rot. I was also lowkey grinding making money but this is when I locked in on my diet and would say I got a lot better looking.
Going into college I’d say I ascended since freshman obviously but definitely a lot more than senior year as I don’t look so skinny anymore and it looks like I have decent bones and nice hair. But now I have to get really drunk to talk to girls I’ve been able to do so but only drunk. Now girls who I talk to I can never really make the next step or final move sober just cause I’m so insecure about how I look. I chase blacking out so that I don’t have to remember if I ever get rejected. I’ve yet to be rejected but like the feeling of rejection scares me so much it’s insane.
My point with the title was how freshman year I could still talk to girls while I was ugly as shit but now even being some what better looking I can’t bring myself to it without alcohol and even girls who show iois I convince myself they’re just bored tweaking or prob won’t actually like me.
Tldr: ugly me could talk to girls new better looking me is scared of them and relies on intoxicants and won’t talk to any girl even if heavy ioi too scared no confidence
Junior year I started gaining weight again and this is when bp seriously took over as I had the biggest crush on the girl who sat infront of me for a whole semester and didn’t talk to her not once. She would ask me for a pencil charger asked for my name once and I would never initiate a convo. I was already pilled from what I thought were niche tiktok edits and just knew I stood no chance as I didn’t like the way I looked here.
Senior year I looked the best I did all of hs and talked to absolutely no girls had no prom date and just stayed within my group and didn’t wanna even meet people at all or hang out cause of my appearance mostly looksmaxxing started getting more trendy and I got so shy and would rot. I was also lowkey grinding making money but this is when I locked in on my diet and would say I got a lot better looking.
Going into college I’d say I ascended since freshman obviously but definitely a lot more than senior year as I don’t look so skinny anymore and it looks like I have decent bones and nice hair. But now I have to get really drunk to talk to girls I’ve been able to do so but only drunk. Now girls who I talk to I can never really make the next step or final move sober just cause I’m so insecure about how I look. I chase blacking out so that I don’t have to remember if I ever get rejected. I’ve yet to be rejected but like the feeling of rejection scares me so much it’s insane.
My point with the title was how freshman year I could still talk to girls while I was ugly as shit but now even being some what better looking I can’t bring myself to it without alcohol and even girls who show iois I convince myself they’re just bored tweaking or prob won’t actually like me.
Tldr: ugly me could talk to girls new better looking me is scared of them and relies on intoxicants and won’t talk to any girl even if heavy ioi too scared no confidence
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