carbonprynt
Art of Facade
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2025
- Posts
- 17
- Reputation
- 6
The first thing we were taught as kids were that looks dont matter and its all about what's on the inside. Aside from the obvious lie, there's a partial truth to this.
I've transformed myself from a loner weird quiet kid to something of a group leader in just under 4 years. The trick isnt to be yourself, its to change yourself for others. Throw on a mask every time you talk to someone else.
First off you have to understand what makes people losers or group outliers. And I'll have you know its just looks. If you're ugly you're cooked im so sorry for your loss. You need to be atleast ltn for any type of real friends (not other incels) and atleast mtn if you want to become a group leader.
People immediately assume things from your looks. When I say tall jacked athletic guy you're already thinking of the popular kid in your school without realizing it. We associate these traits because people with them are usually more dominant in society.
The first step to being likable is to become athletic. You dont need to bodybuild, but you should be toned. Solid frame. Be skilled at something. You dont need to be the best, but enough that you can tell others you do so and so. The rest is built in their mind, that youre some athletic guy. If you're skinny, it doesn't matter if you're the group leader, you'll get challenged by others quite a lot. Being skinny is a huge red flag to others that you're weaker than them, and they have no reason to respect you.
The next closest thing is to be involved in some shit. Pick this off the person you want to be known as. Stigmas are created for a reason. If you are part of the chess team im sorry but all your friends are gonna be losers including you. If youre gonna join the esports team I have no hope for you. Popular choices are student council, or culture clubs. Thats mainly due to the leadership positions involved in these.
The way to lead is surprisingly the opposite of what most would think. Leading has nothing to do with your interests. If im with Jake from state farm and he loves medicine, then guess whos going home that day and researching everything you know about medicine? Not Jake, me. Know your friends interests, and share that interest with them. Even if you couldnt give a single fuck in the world about some guy's weekend, he cares, so ask him about it. Listen as hard as you can. And most importantly, remember. The conversation should barely be about you. Keep it about them and they'll do the talking, and you're just afk farming likability by listening. If you ever need to talk about yourself, again do not say some corny ass shit. You are a completely different person to them.
Now most of you are probably real awkward and I know how that feels, but you really just gotta push yourself into that environment. I started out as extremely shy, barely spoke a word. Now you can't get me to shut up. If you get comfortable speaking, nobody can stop you. If youre gonna meet with someone, plan out everything you'll be doing. Gonna go out to eat? Roleplay by yourself you ordering something to some imaginary waitress. It doesnt matter how corny you are as long as nobody else sees it. Practice in front of the mirror. Hand gestures, facial expressions. When youre with others, put on that face and adapt.
Adapting is another thing as well. I have tons of friend groups. Some are nerds, some are jocks, others are racists, you just gotta really switch personalities depending on who you're with. This is something you have to practice but dont and I mean it when I say dont be yourself. If you're making friends with your real personality, youre losing many others who dont like that personality. If you switch in between, you're likable by everyone. I might make another post dedicated to the art of facade.
My fingers are getting tired now, might post an update to this, but you can use this advice for now.
"I was ashamed of myself when I realized that life was a costume party and I was attending with my real face."
I've transformed myself from a loner weird quiet kid to something of a group leader in just under 4 years. The trick isnt to be yourself, its to change yourself for others. Throw on a mask every time you talk to someone else.
First off you have to understand what makes people losers or group outliers. And I'll have you know its just looks. If you're ugly you're cooked im so sorry for your loss. You need to be atleast ltn for any type of real friends (not other incels) and atleast mtn if you want to become a group leader.
People immediately assume things from your looks. When I say tall jacked athletic guy you're already thinking of the popular kid in your school without realizing it. We associate these traits because people with them are usually more dominant in society.
The first step to being likable is to become athletic. You dont need to bodybuild, but you should be toned. Solid frame. Be skilled at something. You dont need to be the best, but enough that you can tell others you do so and so. The rest is built in their mind, that youre some athletic guy. If you're skinny, it doesn't matter if you're the group leader, you'll get challenged by others quite a lot. Being skinny is a huge red flag to others that you're weaker than them, and they have no reason to respect you.
The next closest thing is to be involved in some shit. Pick this off the person you want to be known as. Stigmas are created for a reason. If you are part of the chess team im sorry but all your friends are gonna be losers including you. If youre gonna join the esports team I have no hope for you. Popular choices are student council, or culture clubs. Thats mainly due to the leadership positions involved in these.
The way to lead is surprisingly the opposite of what most would think. Leading has nothing to do with your interests. If im with Jake from state farm and he loves medicine, then guess whos going home that day and researching everything you know about medicine? Not Jake, me. Know your friends interests, and share that interest with them. Even if you couldnt give a single fuck in the world about some guy's weekend, he cares, so ask him about it. Listen as hard as you can. And most importantly, remember. The conversation should barely be about you. Keep it about them and they'll do the talking, and you're just afk farming likability by listening. If you ever need to talk about yourself, again do not say some corny ass shit. You are a completely different person to them.
Now most of you are probably real awkward and I know how that feels, but you really just gotta push yourself into that environment. I started out as extremely shy, barely spoke a word. Now you can't get me to shut up. If you get comfortable speaking, nobody can stop you. If youre gonna meet with someone, plan out everything you'll be doing. Gonna go out to eat? Roleplay by yourself you ordering something to some imaginary waitress. It doesnt matter how corny you are as long as nobody else sees it. Practice in front of the mirror. Hand gestures, facial expressions. When youre with others, put on that face and adapt.
Adapting is another thing as well. I have tons of friend groups. Some are nerds, some are jocks, others are racists, you just gotta really switch personalities depending on who you're with. This is something you have to practice but dont and I mean it when I say dont be yourself. If you're making friends with your real personality, youre losing many others who dont like that personality. If you switch in between, you're likable by everyone. I might make another post dedicated to the art of facade.
My fingers are getting tired now, might post an update to this, but you can use this advice for now.
"I was ashamed of myself when I realized that life was a costume party and I was attending with my real face."
actually mirin this thread but NTness irl goes a long way more than just this
