Women hate it when you show a desire to get to know them as a stranger

[6ft4]

Despite what foids might say about wanting a guy who values them for them as a person / for their personality as opposed to just being value for their appearance or for their body or for sex... if you approach a girl you're a stranger to in a social setting with the intention of getting to know them and finding out information about them they will often become repulsed by it.

I was out of the game of foid pursuit for a number of years and when I returned I would begin the interaction with the basic shit of "where are you from, what uni are you in, what do you work as, what's your favourite club/venue, what's your name"

Due to my aspie brain, when I am engaged with one person in conversation I have a laser like focus on them and want to try find out things about them not particularly because I expect them to say anything that I find interesting but because I instinctively like to feel like I am putting the spotlight on them rather than going down the route of me telling them things about myself that they never asked.

I've come to realize that I have a reasonable level of conversational NTness when speaking to someone one on one however when I am in a group setting with people I am unfamiliar with, I simply never have anything to say because in order for me to speak in front of a group I need to feel that the topic holds relevance to everyone in the group whereas when normies speak among a group it is usually a means of trying to display their value by making them come off as funny or interesting or having an experience others may be impressed by.
My brain doesn't work in this manner as my brain is solely concerned with what could I say that would benefit as many people in the group as possible that would be worth hearing for them rather than something that served the goal of boosting my personal value since I the groups opinion of me as having zero impact on my value.
This is why I am mute when among a group of people I am unfamiliar with.
In order for me to pipe up I need to be among normies I am quite familiar with or with PSLers I just met but feel comfortable around as they have PSL brains.

Now to bring this back to foids, foids hate the kind of guy who can show full undivided attention to her while talking one on one but can not make a contribution in a group setting.
They would rather a guy who can demonstrate his "value" by making contributions in a group setting as this allows her to think that other people accept him or are impressed by him just by virtue of the fact that he is the centre of focus of the group by talking and not facing any backlash or receiving a few laughs or agreements from others in the group.
The guy who cannot participate in this group dynamic and remains mute is assumed to be low status and rejected by the group by default simply by his unwillingness to contribute because they assume it means a feeling of inadequacy on the part of the mute guy who doesn't contribute.

The irony in all of this is that the reason the foid hates it when a guy can't pipe up in a group but can give her his undivided attention when he is speaking one on one with her is that it shows her that he values winning favour with her over winning favour with the group.
This shows that his group social standing is largely irrelevant to him and he just has the objective of building a relationship with her but the issue with this is that normies/NTs arrange themselves socially first by jostling for their position in the social standing first then their relationships are formed downstream from this based on their level of acceptance by the group.

The guy who shows he doesn't care about his standing in the group is offputting to foids because she feels he cannot be controlled in any way because she doesn't have the weapon of destroying his reputation to the group to fall back on since he already doesn't care what the group thinks.

Another point to note on why foids hate it when you give them your undivided attention is because they don't feel they deserve it.
With the exception of a few giga sweet personality foids who are eternal JBs in their manner, most foids have consciously engaged in vulgar behaviour for their own satisfaction or to hurt others.
When foids do this their subconscious starts to see themselves as a piece of shit but they cope and compensate by putting on a fake ego to make it seem like they're truly full of confidence when it's entirely fake and an act.
Most women hate themselves on at least a subconscious level and many are coping with depression using meds.

If you approach a girl while passing her looks threshold while showing that you're a decent guy who's considerate and not self centered and wants to find out more about her it gives her the ick because the spotlight you place on her just reminds her of how little she has going for herself in comparison to you.
When she rejects you in this scenario, it gives her a sense of relief because to give you her acceptance would be to submit to you, and to submit a man who she see's as superior to her in moral character is to recognize that she is of poor moral character which she is not willing to be confronted with.
To reject you is to convince herself that your good moral character does not hold value which means she doesn't have to be confronted with the comparison which shows her poor moral character.

When she is in the presence of the group however, the spotlight is not on her so her insecurities are not actively plaguing her mind
The man who takes centre stage among the group and appears to receive the most group attention for his contributions is the man who she will gravitate towards and develop attraction to because what she values is based on what other people value because her self esteem is so low that she cannot see value in the man who focuses on her ("there must be something wrong with any guy who likes me")
She only sees value in the man who focuses on the group rather than her and who has received the most approval from the group because she values the group opinion as the only opinion she should hold because she sees any opinion that might come entirely from herself as holding zero value because she sees herself as worthless.

 

[playxiing]

Despite what foids might say about wanting a guy who values them for them as a person / for their personality as opposed to just being value for their appearance or for their body or for sex... if you approach a girl you're a stranger to in a social setting with the intention of getting to know them and finding out information about them they will often become repulsed by it.

I was out of the game of foid pursuit for a number of years and when I returned I would begin the interaction with the basic shit of "where are you from, what uni are you in, what do you work as, what's your favourite club/venue, what's your name"

Due to my aspie brain, when I am engaged with one person in conversation I have a laser like focus on them and want to try find out things about them not particularly because I expect them to say anything that I find interesting but because I instinctively like to feel like I am putting the spotlight on them rather than going down the route of me telling them things about myself that they never asked.

I've come to realize that I have a reasonable level of conversational NTness when speaking to someone one on one however when I am in a group setting with people I am unfamiliar with, I simply never have anything to say because in order for me to speak in front of a group I need to feel that the topic holds relevance to everyone in the group whereas when normies speak among a group it is usually a means of trying to display their value by making them come off as funny or interesting or having an experience others may be impressed by.
My brain doesn't work in this manner as my brain is solely concerned with what could I say that would benefit as many people in the group as possible that would be worth hearing for them rather than something that served the goal of boosting my personal value since I the groups opinion of me as having zero impact on my value.
This is why I am mute when among a group of people I am unfamiliar with.
In order for me to pipe up I need to be among normies I am quite familiar with or with PSLers I just met but feel comfortable around as they have PSL brains.

Now to bring this back to foids, foids hate the kind of guy who can show full undivided attention to her while talking one on one but can not make a contribution in a group setting.
They would rather a guy who can demonstrate his "value" by making contributions in a group setting as this allows her to think that other people accept him or are impressed by him just by virtue of the fact that he is the centre of focus of the group by talking and not facing any backlash or receiving a few laughs or agreements from others in the group.
The guy who cannot participate in this group dynamic and remains mute is assumed to be low status and rejected by the group by default simply by his unwillingness to contribute because they assume it means a feeling of inadequacy on the part of the mute guy who doesn't contribute.

The irony in all of this is that the reason the foid hates it when a guy can't pipe up in a group but can give her his undivided attention when he is speaking one on one with her is that it shows her that he values winning favour with her over winning favour with the group.
This shows that his group social standing is largely irrelevant to him and he just has the objective of building a relationship with her but the issue with this is that normies/NTs arrange themselves socially first by jostling for their position in the social standing first then their relationships are formed downstream from this based on their level of acceptance by the group.

The guy who shows he doesn't care about his standing in the group is offputting to foids because she feels he cannot be controlled in any way because she doesn't have the weapon of destroying his reputation to the group to fall back on since he already doesn't care what the group thinks.

Another point to note on why foids hate it when you give them your undivided attention is because they don't feel they deserve it.
With the exception of a few giga sweet personality foids who are eternal JBs in their manner, most foids have consciously engaged in vulgar behaviour for their own satisfaction or to hurt others.
When foids do this their subconscious starts to see themselves as a piece of shit but they cope and compensate by putting on a fake ego to make it seem like they're truly full of confidence when it's entirely fake and an act.
Most women hate themselves on at least a subconscious level and many are coping with depression using meds.

If you approach a girl while passing her looks threshold while showing that you're a decent guy who's considerate and not self centered and wants to find out more about her it gives her the ick because the spotlight you place on her just reminds her of how little she has going for herself in comparison to you.
When she rejects you in this scenario, it gives her a sense of relief because to give you her acceptance would be to submit to you, and to submit a man who she see's as superior to her in moral character is to recognize that she is of poor moral character which she is not willing to be confronted with.
To reject you is to convince herself that your good moral character does not hold value which means she doesn't have to be confronted with the comparison which shows her poor moral character.

When she is in the presence of the group however, the spotlight is not on her so her insecurities are not actively plaguing her mind
The man who takes centre stage among the group and appears to receive the most group attention for his contributions is the man who she will gravitate towards and develop attraction to because what she values is based on what other people value because her self esteem is so low that she cannot see value in the man who focuses on her ("there must be something wrong with any guy who likes me")
She only sees value in the man who focuses on the group rather than her and who has received the most approval from the group because she values the group opinion as the only opinion she should hold because she sees any opinion that might come entirely from herself as holding zero value because she sees herself as worthless.

unconscious hypergamy

 

[TonyDr]

Despite what foids might say about wanting a guy who values them for them as a person / for their personality as opposed to just being value for their appearance or for their body or for sex... if you approach a girl you're a stranger to in a social setting with the intention of getting to know them and finding out information about them they will often become repulsed by it.

I was out of the game of foid pursuit for a number of years and when I returned I would begin the interaction with the basic shit of "where are you from, what uni are you in, what do you work as, what's your favourite club/venue, what's your name"

Due to my aspie brain, when I am engaged with one person in conversation I have a laser like focus on them and want to try find out things about them not particularly because I expect them to say anything that I find interesting but because I instinctively like to feel like I am putting the spotlight on them rather than going down the route of me telling them things about myself that they never asked.

I've come to realize that I have a reasonable level of conversational NTness when speaking to someone one on one however when I am in a group setting with people I am unfamiliar with, I simply never have anything to say because in order for me to speak in front of a group I need to feel that the topic holds relevance to everyone in the group whereas when normies speak among a group it is usually a means of trying to display their value by making them come off as funny or interesting or having an experience others may be impressed by.
My brain doesn't work in this manner as my brain is solely concerned with what could I say that would benefit as many people in the group as possible that would be worth hearing for them rather than something that served the goal of boosting my personal value since I the groups opinion of me as having zero impact on my value.
This is why I am mute when among a group of people I am unfamiliar with.
In order for me to pipe up I need to be among normies I am quite familiar with or with PSLers I just met but feel comfortable around as they have PSL brains.

Now to bring this back to foids, foids hate the kind of guy who can show full undivided attention to her while talking one on one but can not make a contribution in a group setting.
They would rather a guy who can demonstrate his "value" by making contributions in a group setting as this allows her to think that other people accept him or are impressed by him just by virtue of the fact that he is the centre of focus of the group by talking and not facing any backlash or receiving a few laughs or agreements from others in the group.
The guy who cannot participate in this group dynamic and remains mute is assumed to be low status and rejected by the group by default simply by his unwillingness to contribute because they assume it means a feeling of inadequacy on the part of the mute guy who doesn't contribute.

The irony in all of this is that the reason the foid hates it when a guy can't pipe up in a group but can give her his undivided attention when he is speaking one on one with her is that it shows her that he values winning favour with her over winning favour with the group.
This shows that his group social standing is largely irrelevant to him and he just has the objective of building a relationship with her but the issue with this is that normies/NTs arrange themselves socially first by jostling for their position in the social standing first then their relationships are formed downstream from this based on their level of acceptance by the group.

The guy who shows he doesn't care about his standing in the group is offputting to foids because she feels he cannot be controlled in any way because she doesn't have the weapon of destroying his reputation to the group to fall back on since he already doesn't care what the group thinks.

Another point to note on why foids hate it when you give them your undivided attention is because they don't feel they deserve it.
With the exception of a few giga sweet personality foids who are eternal JBs in their manner, most foids have consciously engaged in vulgar behaviour for their own satisfaction or to hurt others.
When foids do this their subconscious starts to see themselves as a piece of shit but they cope and compensate by putting on a fake ego to make it seem like they're truly full of confidence when it's entirely fake and an act.
Most women hate themselves on at least a subconscious level and many are coping with depression using meds.

If you approach a girl while passing her looks threshold while showing that you're a decent guy who's considerate and not self centered and wants to find out more about her it gives her the ick because the spotlight you place on her just reminds her of how little she has going for herself in comparison to you.
When she rejects you in this scenario, it gives her a sense of relief because to give you her acceptance would be to submit to you, and to submit a man who she see's as superior to her in moral character is to recognize that she is of poor moral character which she is not willing to be confronted with.
To reject you is to convince herself that your good moral character does not hold value which means she doesn't have to be confronted with the comparison which shows her poor moral character.

When she is in the presence of the group however, the spotlight is not on her so her insecurities are not actively plaguing her mind
The man who takes centre stage among the group and appears to receive the most group attention for his contributions is the man who she will gravitate towards and develop attraction to because what she values is based on what other people value because her self esteem is so low that she cannot see value in the man who focuses on her ("there must be something wrong with any guy who likes me")
She only sees value in the man who focuses on the group rather than her and who has received the most approval from the group because she values the group opinion as the only opinion she should hold because she sees any opinion that might come entirely from herself as holding zero value because she sees herself as worthless.

Tldr ?

 

[Daddy's Home]

About the group, being in exactly the same situation as you, I often try to ask questions to the people who are speaking at that moment, or to complement them by saying the same thing they are saying, only in other words, at which point I get approval, or just the fact that I want to participate in the conversation, even if I don't bring anything extra or I personally am not asked anything related to the topic (it's hard to do this at first, but after a while you get used to it)

Ex: x normie NPC talks about how he fixed his car. When he seems to finish a chapter in the story, I ask him directly “would you buy the same car again if you had the chance / have you had this problem before / do you think it cost you a lot to get it fixed / have you heard other people have had this problem” etc.

Related to women, women if they see you giving them attention are very skeptical because they come from the position of control and power, and you come from the desperate area of not having found something better than her / not having been chosen by a better woman before

Women want you to be the reward, and they want to be the ones chasing you, and making themselves available to you, not the other way around

 

[albanianblackguy]

holy highiq, the part about their all confident ego personality being fake is spot on, their self esteem is lower than most incels on here unironically, i wrote to a girl (that i deemed unfuckable) that it must be tough looking so different with makeup and she literally never wrote a thing to me again, i saw her without makeup btw, i unironically think she cried after i wrote that considering how hard i mog her

 

[New Poster]

I’ll read later, but, yes, trying to get to know a stranger is pretty cringe and awkward. You should just be sexually objectifying them on first approach. You get to know them after fucking.

 

[Delusion]

well gosh darn it, I guess I really do have autism. Your experience with the ability to display “NTness” when it is in a one on one situation but unable to translate that in a group setting is pretty much spot on from my own experiences.

When I am interacting with an individual, I just feel there is a lot less “pressure”, it’s almost easy to initiate, or even carry a conversation when I am talking to one person, the conversation feels smooth and I can transition from topic to topic with a seamless grace that would have the other person guessing I am not neruodivergent at all.

However, when it is in a group setting I always end up being sidelined and end up being labeled as the quite and reserved guy of the group. I guess it is just the way my autistic/neurodivergent brain is wired. When I am speaking to someone I am laser focused on them, I want to know all about them and how my views/values/experiences can relate to them, so that I can discern whether or not that individual is suitable to be a companion.

I guess the autistic brain is just wired for laser focus, surgical precision, and hyper intensity. That is why during a 1-1 conversation as you mention, you were “dissecting” them I.e. their job, their education, their values, their hobbies etc. In a club/bar setting this is quite inappropriate as those question are more suited in formal date when you are deciding for a ltr. This is why despite our social skills being fluent falls face flat in a group setting, we are subconsciously analysing and dissecting every single member of the group instead of “going with the flow”.

Relating this to the response from women, I guess women are just more innately socially tuned than even the most nt men. They value the groups judgement more than their own, hence they could like a guy during a 1 on 1 interaction, but if their group disprove of it, they will question their innitial impression of you and gaslight themselves into thinking she doesn’t like you at all.