6ft4
Whitepill Apostle
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2019
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In play school it was my first time being surrounded by a group of other kids
I was the only kid there playing by myself and one of the kids I knew as we spent time at each others houses as our parents knew each other, he had no issues socializing with the other kids while I was stuck as a loner.
In primary school it was the same shit, I was stuck as a loner on lunch break despite having had one on one meetings at the houses of some of the kids in my class, none of them gave a shit that I was pretty much the only one excluded from the group activities at lunch
One day one of the kids I never spoke to asked me if I wanted to play, I was like 3 years into primary school at this point when it happened.
From this point on this guy became my best friend and I joined in the socializing with our class group with ease and actually rose high in popularity as the years went on because I became good at sports up to the point where my life peaked at 11 years old.
Status wise I surpassed the guy who asked me to play as the years went on because I ascended at sports but we remained friends until primary school ended and we moved to different schools.
We still seen each other throughout the years through sport clubs and I attended his 18th bday and I was told that everyone in his school sees him as a legend because he's just a giga laidback guy (he didn't have this perception in primary as these traits weren't yet widely appreciated)
This confirmed that it took the most chill and carefree guy in our class to be the one to invite me to play because he didn't see me as beneath him for being a loner which the others did.
In secondary school I moved with a good portion of my primary school mates and because you're forced to be around cunts in secondary school all the time, eventually everyone seemed to show me a level of respect because they seen I had mates and never made any enemies.
Basically I was just as likely for someone in the nerdy crew to show me respect as I was for some car enthusiast or NT sports player to show me respect.
My default way of socializing which was to struggle around groups of people I didn't know never got exposed because I had enough time to play the long game with those I didn't know while my pre existing mates I was comfortable being social around kept me afloat
When I moved to uni and was in an environment where I didn't have any pre existing mates and wasn't forced to be around anyone for extended periods of time outside of class where you can have proper convos, I found out how brutally exposed I was.
I made mates in my course but it was a doshit course for building a social circle as they were all either oldcels, guys who lived with parents or hipsters who made their own group, not one I could go on a night out with who lived on campus.
I had one male housemate and we were the only other guy each of us had to go on nights out with
Half way through the year he decides this wasn't good enough for him so he decides to move house
Within a week he determined the house wasn't to his standards and moved back, but because the house had 3 lads living in it, he basically spent every hour outside of uni hanging at their house and I was now useless to him.
Nights out were entirely dependant on what the lads in that house were doing
I would come over to pre drink and go out with them sometimes but I had no input anymore and it was a case of me either tagging along with them (lazy stoners who don't even try to pull) or else just go my own route which was what I did most of the time.
The guy showed no appreciation for the fact that he wouldn't have gone on a single night out in the first semester if it wasn't for me.
I then requested to live on campus in second year in the hopes I'd be forced to live with decent guys and have a better chance of building a social circle.
I end up in a house with an NT guy who came to uni with dozens of lads from his secondary school but they showed zero interest in including me in their plans for nights out, I was completely ignored.
Half way through the year the NT guy left because it was clearly retarded for him to be in a house with randomers (where he was having 20 lads round for pre drinks) than live in houses with those lads.
When he left a new guy joined the house.
On the first night I talked to this new guy for hours and was asking him to come on a night out on the first night of the semester but he declined and said he would see what's happening when he meets more people (6'4 housemate by himself wasn't good enough for him)
The guy was honestly a complete gimp but I was in my zyzz "never put people down" era so I gave him the benefit of the doubt
Somehow within the space of 2 days he knew all of the guys living in the house next door and had people from his course over at our house and got me into predrinks in the house next door with guys who never spoke to me for the first semester
At the pre drinks the guys were sound to me but talking shit about the new guy saying he only talks about himself etc and they basically disliked him and bullied him until the end of the year but never removed his invite at any point and kept letting him plan nights out and by extension I had guys to go on nights out with now but I rarely went because I was committed to gymcel bulking
I spent another year of uni in a house full of NTs who knew each other and that was hell as my lack of NT got brutally exposed yet the random guys who showed up to our house for houseparties always showed me way more respect because I was beginning to mog at this point and they assumed me to not have status failo by virtue of just being in that environment
Since I've gotten back into working and did a week long course I realize just how badly I get exposed by my default socialization style because when I am in an environment with strangers where strangers (or people who already know each other) stand around talking to each other it is absolutely over for my participation.
I basically need a guy I am very comfortable with to be part of the group to stand a chance at lasting in a group of strangers dynamic
I was the only kid there playing by myself and one of the kids I knew as we spent time at each others houses as our parents knew each other, he had no issues socializing with the other kids while I was stuck as a loner.
In primary school it was the same shit, I was stuck as a loner on lunch break despite having had one on one meetings at the houses of some of the kids in my class, none of them gave a shit that I was pretty much the only one excluded from the group activities at lunch
One day one of the kids I never spoke to asked me if I wanted to play, I was like 3 years into primary school at this point when it happened.
From this point on this guy became my best friend and I joined in the socializing with our class group with ease and actually rose high in popularity as the years went on because I became good at sports up to the point where my life peaked at 11 years old.
Status wise I surpassed the guy who asked me to play as the years went on because I ascended at sports but we remained friends until primary school ended and we moved to different schools.
We still seen each other throughout the years through sport clubs and I attended his 18th bday and I was told that everyone in his school sees him as a legend because he's just a giga laidback guy (he didn't have this perception in primary as these traits weren't yet widely appreciated)
This confirmed that it took the most chill and carefree guy in our class to be the one to invite me to play because he didn't see me as beneath him for being a loner which the others did.
In secondary school I moved with a good portion of my primary school mates and because you're forced to be around cunts in secondary school all the time, eventually everyone seemed to show me a level of respect because they seen I had mates and never made any enemies.
Basically I was just as likely for someone in the nerdy crew to show me respect as I was for some car enthusiast or NT sports player to show me respect.
My default way of socializing which was to struggle around groups of people I didn't know never got exposed because I had enough time to play the long game with those I didn't know while my pre existing mates I was comfortable being social around kept me afloat
When I moved to uni and was in an environment where I didn't have any pre existing mates and wasn't forced to be around anyone for extended periods of time outside of class where you can have proper convos, I found out how brutally exposed I was.
I made mates in my course but it was a doshit course for building a social circle as they were all either oldcels, guys who lived with parents or hipsters who made their own group, not one I could go on a night out with who lived on campus.
I had one male housemate and we were the only other guy each of us had to go on nights out with
Half way through the year he decides this wasn't good enough for him so he decides to move house
Within a week he determined the house wasn't to his standards and moved back, but because the house had 3 lads living in it, he basically spent every hour outside of uni hanging at their house and I was now useless to him.
Nights out were entirely dependant on what the lads in that house were doing
I would come over to pre drink and go out with them sometimes but I had no input anymore and it was a case of me either tagging along with them (lazy stoners who don't even try to pull) or else just go my own route which was what I did most of the time.
The guy showed no appreciation for the fact that he wouldn't have gone on a single night out in the first semester if it wasn't for me.
I then requested to live on campus in second year in the hopes I'd be forced to live with decent guys and have a better chance of building a social circle.
I end up in a house with an NT guy who came to uni with dozens of lads from his secondary school but they showed zero interest in including me in their plans for nights out, I was completely ignored.
Half way through the year the NT guy left because it was clearly retarded for him to be in a house with randomers (where he was having 20 lads round for pre drinks) than live in houses with those lads.
When he left a new guy joined the house.
On the first night I talked to this new guy for hours and was asking him to come on a night out on the first night of the semester but he declined and said he would see what's happening when he meets more people (6'4 housemate by himself wasn't good enough for him)
The guy was honestly a complete gimp but I was in my zyzz "never put people down" era so I gave him the benefit of the doubt
Somehow within the space of 2 days he knew all of the guys living in the house next door and had people from his course over at our house and got me into predrinks in the house next door with guys who never spoke to me for the first semester
At the pre drinks the guys were sound to me but talking shit about the new guy saying he only talks about himself etc and they basically disliked him and bullied him until the end of the year but never removed his invite at any point and kept letting him plan nights out and by extension I had guys to go on nights out with now but I rarely went because I was committed to gymcel bulking
I spent another year of uni in a house full of NTs who knew each other and that was hell as my lack of NT got brutally exposed yet the random guys who showed up to our house for houseparties always showed me way more respect because I was beginning to mog at this point and they assumed me to not have status failo by virtue of just being in that environment
Since I've gotten back into working and did a week long course I realize just how badly I get exposed by my default socialization style because when I am in an environment with strangers where strangers (or people who already know each other) stand around talking to each other it is absolutely over for my participation.
I basically need a guy I am very comfortable with to be part of the group to stand a chance at lasting in a group of strangers dynamic
