so depressed and anhedonic

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cant remember the last time i smiled or felt good, probably when i went out on my first 'date' over a year ago but that feeling ended quickly

money, material things have 0 effect on me, absolutely nothing, im the same person with or without the stupid materials

sometimes i feel like crying, i dont know for what reason but i try to

 

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and its a very depressing feeling knwing that your family wouldn't care if you eventually ended your life but see you as a coward failure instead rather than someone with high levels of stress