14/56

[Amuzant]

14/56
Obsession To Apathy

​

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Slumpt, i was unable to get out of bed this morning.
Everything hurt, i didnt want to move. I wanted to sleep forever.
I felt lazy, unmotivated. Unable to focus.​

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I was in a rush to get to where i needed to be this morning.
I forgot a fragrance.​

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SOTD
​

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Addictions

I smoked the afternoon away.
Helped me rest. Helped feel near nothing.

The caffeine, tried a new flavour, good taste.
Ultra Blue Hawaiian​

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Diet
I had no appetite, so ate what was convinent.

Morning Meal
pork sirloin with a chicken wrap

Next Meal
Passionfruit Mango and chocolate whey drip

Final Meal
Greekyoghurt W biscuit

Today, i was 20 calories under.
I dropped my daily intake by 15 calories per day to maintain my 0.8kg PW weight loss.

My physique is my life.
My physique will maintain this disfigured lop sized frame due to my shoulder injury.
My shoulder disconnects from my scapula, and the thought of the inability to fix this unsymmetrical falio might have caused todays depressive state.
I feel my life petty.

​

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Show Slop

Watched another episode.
It was okay.
Rather watch youtube today.
Watched a 3 hour podcast.​

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Slays

Morning we saw each other, lay on the rocks by the river for hours.
This insatiable feeling of continued repetition.
Lay with a new girl, nothing changed.
I feel no different being with her than anyone else.

Shes loud, too loud.
The type of girl who watches videos on max volume in public.
The more i look the more i find flaws.
Flaws i hope she does not see in myself.
She took videos of me for her friends, i felt disgusted with how i looked.

We kissed, made out, but kissing has no passion for me anymore.
For now, it's just my lips that lay upon another pair.
I will get with this girl knowing it wont repair how i feel.
Weaved souls stay connected.
​

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Spoiler: .

@yyk117
@sasha108
@Irrelevance
@mistermogsalot
@greylurker

14/56
Amuzant

 

[Amuzant]

@Nocturnal
@Itzsimpledude
@filthycurrycel
@Stardew

If you wish to be tagged in the future just ask!
This is a 56-day series in which I am trying to improve my own mental health