A
Arshdog470
Iron
- Joined
- May 1, 2025
- Posts
- 50
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- 24
Ok so basically this girl I like, have liked since around the middle of 9th grade has a boyfriend (im midway through 11th grade rn.) Idk why im typing this fucking lame ass website but I genuinely dont know who im supposed to talk to about this and all I know is that I want to talk about it. In 9th grade when we first met we were friends and I didnt like her yet, she's smart, kind and beautiful. When I got closer to her I started to like her and I swear I dont like girls easily at all.
She's the second girl I've ever liked and when I tell you that I've never felt that way I felt. Anyways, the first girl I liked was in 7th grade, she told me she liked me back, we would meet up a few times over the span of months, we lived less than 5 mins away but she would keep dodging me. She broke up with me a few days before my birthday, said it was cuz she lost interest. Fast forward to like the end of 8th grade and she randomly messages me telling me about how she actually never liked me but told me she did because she felt bad for me. I've been short all my life (kinda related to my heart disease (pulmonary valve stenosis))(also my bone age is 13 and im 16 right now), but also cuz of genetics, she told me she couldnt be seen around me since I was too short and "not handsome enough." Which I wasn't and still am not. Oh wow she just told me how her cat loves sleeping in her boyfriends jacket.
Basically since then I've not been able to like anyone so me liking this girl was insane. I loved her more than I could ever think that I could love. All my life I've hated myself, either when I was young and hoping I wasnt half indian around my chinese kindergarten friends, or when I stand next to my 6 ft mtn friends rn, walk around in public, see models and just people happy. Basically once again days before my birthday, one of my friends (less than like 5 ppl knew that I liked her) told her I like her, she told me she sees us more as friends. I was the closest friend she's ever had, she'd tell me everything about herself and she'd listen to me, I never talk to anyone about anything personal like seriously she'd listen. Im on call with her rn too, she's telling me about herself, we're catching up rn. I've gone months without talking to her in grade 10, as an attempt to move on but I'd still love her every second of the minute. Eventually she broke our no contact, randomly asked me why I liked her and her friend told me to write a letter about it since it'd be sweet, me being the stupid fucking loser I am actually did that. She doesnt show it to anyone ofc since shes a genuine amazing person, she writes one back to me, it has tear stains and is about noone's ever helped me as much as I've helped her, and noone's ever been as much caring towards her as I've been, it's also the nicest thing I've ever heard about myself. Since last year december she's been getting closer to me and I've just been letting it happen she still tells me things she tells noone else.
I cant move on and I dont know if I should keep loving her or not, I dont think I can stop myself from loving her, yeah I definetly cant. What do I do, I was a stubby guy at the time, since g8 ive lost weight (till around g10) and I keep improving myself or trying to lol, will it ever get better, will she ever love me? Last time I got rated was before I got my palate expander, I was HLTN (i think i still am), and ive grown a few inches, even though im still short as shit. I live in asia (Singapore) so average height isnt very tall luckily. I dont know what i intend to get out from typing this but I just wanted to get this out. Will I ever move on, am i loveable?
TL;DR:
I’ve liked this girl since mid-9th grade and she means a lot to me because she’s one of the only people I’ve ever opened up to. She has a boyfriend and has told me she only sees me as a friend, but we’re still really close and she trusts me with everything. Because of past stuff with my self-esteem and getting hurt before, I feel stuck and can’t move on. I don’t know if I should keep loving her or try to let go, and I’m questioning whether I’m even lovable at all.
She's the second girl I've ever liked and when I tell you that I've never felt that way I felt. Anyways, the first girl I liked was in 7th grade, she told me she liked me back, we would meet up a few times over the span of months, we lived less than 5 mins away but she would keep dodging me. She broke up with me a few days before my birthday, said it was cuz she lost interest. Fast forward to like the end of 8th grade and she randomly messages me telling me about how she actually never liked me but told me she did because she felt bad for me. I've been short all my life (kinda related to my heart disease (pulmonary valve stenosis))(also my bone age is 13 and im 16 right now), but also cuz of genetics, she told me she couldnt be seen around me since I was too short and "not handsome enough." Which I wasn't and still am not. Oh wow she just told me how her cat loves sleeping in her boyfriends jacket.
Basically since then I've not been able to like anyone so me liking this girl was insane. I loved her more than I could ever think that I could love. All my life I've hated myself, either when I was young and hoping I wasnt half indian around my chinese kindergarten friends, or when I stand next to my 6 ft mtn friends rn, walk around in public, see models and just people happy. Basically once again days before my birthday, one of my friends (less than like 5 ppl knew that I liked her) told her I like her, she told me she sees us more as friends. I was the closest friend she's ever had, she'd tell me everything about herself and she'd listen to me, I never talk to anyone about anything personal like seriously she'd listen. Im on call with her rn too, she's telling me about herself, we're catching up rn. I've gone months without talking to her in grade 10, as an attempt to move on but I'd still love her every second of the minute. Eventually she broke our no contact, randomly asked me why I liked her and her friend told me to write a letter about it since it'd be sweet, me being the stupid fucking loser I am actually did that. She doesnt show it to anyone ofc since shes a genuine amazing person, she writes one back to me, it has tear stains and is about noone's ever helped me as much as I've helped her, and noone's ever been as much caring towards her as I've been, it's also the nicest thing I've ever heard about myself. Since last year december she's been getting closer to me and I've just been letting it happen she still tells me things she tells noone else.
I cant move on and I dont know if I should keep loving her or not, I dont think I can stop myself from loving her, yeah I definetly cant. What do I do, I was a stubby guy at the time, since g8 ive lost weight (till around g10) and I keep improving myself or trying to lol, will it ever get better, will she ever love me? Last time I got rated was before I got my palate expander, I was HLTN (i think i still am), and ive grown a few inches, even though im still short as shit. I live in asia (Singapore) so average height isnt very tall luckily. I dont know what i intend to get out from typing this but I just wanted to get this out. Will I ever move on, am i loveable?
TL;DR:
I’ve liked this girl since mid-9th grade and she means a lot to me because she’s one of the only people I’ve ever opened up to. She has a boyfriend and has told me she only sees me as a friend, but we’re still really close and she trusts me with everything. Because of past stuff with my self-esteem and getting hurt before, I feel stuck and can’t move on. I don’t know if I should keep loving her or try to let go, and I’m questioning whether I’m even lovable at all.
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