GermanSubmarine
Silver
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2026
- Posts
- 678
- Reputation
- 523
It's comformed now. Im a fucking incel.
Never thought I'd get to this point, but I actually ldar'ed the last years of my life.
It never get's better, I just get older.
Don't even think it's fixable.
I just went through some old messages on WhatsApp from 4 or 5 years ago and just realized how much chicks where flirting with me back then without me noticing. I was at an event at 13 or 14 with a dude I mogged in Italy and he wen't like every 15 mins "jo, that girl is looking at you". Never was aware about situations like these, but now I get mogged by every normie as I live in germany as a sub5 5'10 ND.
Now I'm aware as fuck, fow example when I walk with a 6'3 friend and we walk past a group of girls, I look at my oneitis and she looks at him, while we walk by. I get complety ignored. (5'10 is badicly the german 5'7)
Reading old messages and re-living the situations just shows me how a normal live looks like and it tears me apart waking up from my mind wandering and realizing a whole teenage live has passed.... my teenage live.
I never kissed a girl, held hands while walking in a park in summer while talking about school and hobby, just beeing joyful and shit.
My oneitis has a 6'5 blonde bf now, that mogges me Mumbai.
I don't even feel like the victim in this situation.
It's just nature and I don't fit the requirements to live on this world.
There are too many people asking the question of lives meaning. But the only thing nature ever intended with me is to die.
Nature get's to try again trough trial ans error, in an efford to sculpt the perfect sculpture out of clay. We are those clay sculptures, but there is only so much clay to use and nature wants to continue sculpting.
I also think, that we only get one chance at live as intended by nature.
It all comes natural, every step of puberty and everything beeing new. Like beeing in love for the first time.
The time window is too small to influence the event. Either you are beeing accepted by the foid you fancy, or nature waits for the resources it has wasted on you to return to the ground.
It's hard to realize that it doesn't have to be you, that wins and live doesn't follow any rules and defenitly not your way of thinking.
I am left to remember times, where I lived in the moment and even feel bad for doing so. As if these moments were something sacred and the minutes and places artifacts that I'm not even worthy of getting close to mentally. But I just can't let go.
Remembering feels like poisoning the only good nature or God has ever given to me, as I'm no longer worthy.
My view of woman/ foids:
I never really hated woman and don't think i'll ever do. There is a lot of hate on here as it was in the early redpill community and I can relate to the situations, but not the feeling of hate towards woman....
Woman's nature, once accepted doesn't surprise anymore in a shocking way, as woman do not think like we do. They are a perfect reflection of nature. The purest form of nature or call it the love of God, we will ever get. Beeing chosen by the woman you desire, your oneitis is like beeing chosen by nature or God and welcomed to live life fully and reproduce.
This realization doesn't give me peace as I am not dead yet. It doesn't make it better to know that I am not loved by nature/ God and by natural/devine law sentenced to death. Nature or god speak their penalty for you, through the voice and body language of woman in everyday situations.
It's so obvious when noticed and I ask myself how tf are there people out there who aren't blackpilled. How can you read a biology book in school and not realize that you are part of this right now.
I hope to ascend and get all that life has left for me. I'm done ldar'ing.
I hope yall are living a prosperous live and if not, I wish for your wellbeing and nature/ God to be gracious.
Never thought I'd get to this point, but I actually ldar'ed the last years of my life.
It never get's better, I just get older.
Don't even think it's fixable.
I just went through some old messages on WhatsApp from 4 or 5 years ago and just realized how much chicks where flirting with me back then without me noticing. I was at an event at 13 or 14 with a dude I mogged in Italy and he wen't like every 15 mins "jo, that girl is looking at you". Never was aware about situations like these, but now I get mogged by every normie as I live in germany as a sub5 5'10 ND.
Now I'm aware as fuck, fow example when I walk with a 6'3 friend and we walk past a group of girls, I look at my oneitis and she looks at him, while we walk by. I get complety ignored. (5'10 is badicly the german 5'7)
Reading old messages and re-living the situations just shows me how a normal live looks like and it tears me apart waking up from my mind wandering and realizing a whole teenage live has passed.... my teenage live.
I never kissed a girl, held hands while walking in a park in summer while talking about school and hobby, just beeing joyful and shit.
My oneitis has a 6'5 blonde bf now, that mogges me Mumbai.
I don't even feel like the victim in this situation.
It's just nature and I don't fit the requirements to live on this world.
There are too many people asking the question of lives meaning. But the only thing nature ever intended with me is to die.
Nature get's to try again trough trial ans error, in an efford to sculpt the perfect sculpture out of clay. We are those clay sculptures, but there is only so much clay to use and nature wants to continue sculpting.
I also think, that we only get one chance at live as intended by nature.
It all comes natural, every step of puberty and everything beeing new. Like beeing in love for the first time.
The time window is too small to influence the event. Either you are beeing accepted by the foid you fancy, or nature waits for the resources it has wasted on you to return to the ground.
It's hard to realize that it doesn't have to be you, that wins and live doesn't follow any rules and defenitly not your way of thinking.
I am left to remember times, where I lived in the moment and even feel bad for doing so. As if these moments were something sacred and the minutes and places artifacts that I'm not even worthy of getting close to mentally. But I just can't let go.
Remembering feels like poisoning the only good nature or God has ever given to me, as I'm no longer worthy.
My view of woman/ foids:
I never really hated woman and don't think i'll ever do. There is a lot of hate on here as it was in the early redpill community and I can relate to the situations, but not the feeling of hate towards woman....
Woman's nature, once accepted doesn't surprise anymore in a shocking way, as woman do not think like we do. They are a perfect reflection of nature. The purest form of nature or call it the love of God, we will ever get. Beeing chosen by the woman you desire, your oneitis is like beeing chosen by nature or God and welcomed to live life fully and reproduce.
This realization doesn't give me peace as I am not dead yet. It doesn't make it better to know that I am not loved by nature/ God and by natural/devine law sentenced to death. Nature or god speak their penalty for you, through the voice and body language of woman in everyday situations.
It's so obvious when noticed and I ask myself how tf are there people out there who aren't blackpilled. How can you read a biology book in school and not realize that you are part of this right now.
I hope to ascend and get all that life has left for me. I'm done ldar'ing.
I hope yall are living a prosperous live and if not, I wish for your wellbeing and nature/ God to be gracious.
