stupid ugly loser
I will grow to 205cm by 2027 January 19
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2025
- Posts
- 511
- Reputation
- 561
I went home from Walmart and after some vodkamaxxing I opened org like any trucel to rant but no one repped or read it it was gigaropefuel
I then opened up the hub and yt to dopaminemaxx and clicked a video of some guy gambling and cracked a can of beer open and took a sip I was gonna close yt and dive straight to gooning but then smth caught my eye...on the back of this gambler shirt it read: 'why not you'
I felt a hit of motivation and jumped out of my bed staring at the wall with daydreams of what it would be like if I wasn't 5'2, broke, and ltn and switched lives with the Chad at Walmart.
As I was locked in daydreaming a scent of leftover takeout and ball sweat hit my nose and a hit of realization of my shit life hit me and I opened the window for gasps of calming refreshing air. It was like 2 in the morning and freezing cold but the clean air made me keep the window open. I stared out the window into the same dead tree and gloomy low rises that look crustier than my eczema filled face that was dimly reflecting off the window.
I reached for a pack of cigarettes and the breezy air massaged my face and thirsted for a rush of dopamine to escape...
It was beginning to become windy and I couldn't lit the cig and I was pissed. I yelled at the dead tree and the wind for ruining my already rock bottom day and hurled a punch at the creaky window frame with all my strength. My arm was low-key strong from how much I gooned and I fucking broke the window. I felt kinda tuff and imagined myself as a secret MMA prodigy. I didn't care anymore about the rent and the room and the window.
I felt like I was low-key insane bcus my hand was diced with shattered glass chunks and it didn't hurt at all so I low-key just cleaned the glass right off the window frame with my hands. I stared at the now windowless opening of the wall where I threw and shot countless beer bottles and ropes at.
Then an old familiar thought hit me...what's stopping me from diving thru this wall and ending it all? So I walked up and looked over the empty window and analyzed how far i would fall and where I would land if I jumped. Right below me was a bench and a fire hydrant which is covered with snow and sitting behind a poorly shoveled sidewalk. I figured the only way for my attempt to succeed was diving headfirst onto the sidewalk and away from the thick winter snow; after all, my room was only on the third story. I prepared myself and closed my eyes shut.
I told myself to breath in the last breath of the cold lonely air before I leave it all behind...I thought about how much I hated myself and my life...about all the times I was humiliated and being so helpless and how dehumanizing every interaction of my existent felt...
...the depressing spiral of thought went on and on but shattered at a sudden screech noise that of a falcon...I looked up to wondering if this would be the last living thing I would see before ending my life...my eyes were met with no hint of life...is it because I'm so ugly that even the falcons avoid me...I yelled at the clear full moon that everyone adores and calls stunning...oh how I wish the world saw me the same way as they saw the serenity of the moonlight...how I wish I could stand so bright and clear above all else the world has to offer...to reach the amount of beauty so powerful that people build holidays around you...to be on top of the world and to conquer...
...the trail of thoughts and concepts led me to my earlier years in school, learning about legendary historical figures who stared into the very same moon after victories and success of conquests, with the entire world to their knees...I wonder what they felt like...as I stared into the same very moon history and greatness looks into, a black shadow lurks the corner of vision and absorbs my attention from the empty moongaze, it seems the beer was creeping up on me and I was beginning to feel wobbly I tried finding back my balance of my numb feet gripping the ice cold windowsill while fixating my gaze on the mystery in the sky...I lose my balance and in the split second of weightlessness, the thought of ending my life had become a reality
I lied in excruciating pain of all types, bruising, stinging, stabbing, penetrating, in every part of my body, and so much that I couldn't even think or process anything...I stared emptily in the unforgiving hollow sky as I lied on the sidewalk: paralyzed and dying, I didnt get the typical slideshow of memories that you're supposed to experience when your time has come. I was laying there overwhelmed with the feeling of regrets. I just wanted to call my mother and tell her that I'm sorry that...she had to... everything blurs and I was one with darkness...
As if years of darkness had pass, the familiar screech filled my "ears" as I descended from my dead body. I could see myself lying there motionless, staring up...I followed the dead gaze and saw the mysterious shadow I was so keen on seeing...it was an airship that ironically read:
I felt anger and sarcasm as my soul was engulfed to the core of the earth, and all I felt was...
I then opened up the hub and yt to dopaminemaxx and clicked a video of some guy gambling and cracked a can of beer open and took a sip I was gonna close yt and dive straight to gooning but then smth caught my eye...on the back of this gambler shirt it read: 'why not you'
I felt a hit of motivation and jumped out of my bed staring at the wall with daydreams of what it would be like if I wasn't 5'2, broke, and ltn and switched lives with the Chad at Walmart.
As I was locked in daydreaming a scent of leftover takeout and ball sweat hit my nose and a hit of realization of my shit life hit me and I opened the window for gasps of calming refreshing air. It was like 2 in the morning and freezing cold but the clean air made me keep the window open. I stared out the window into the same dead tree and gloomy low rises that look crustier than my eczema filled face that was dimly reflecting off the window.
I reached for a pack of cigarettes and the breezy air massaged my face and thirsted for a rush of dopamine to escape...
It was beginning to become windy and I couldn't lit the cig and I was pissed. I yelled at the dead tree and the wind for ruining my already rock bottom day and hurled a punch at the creaky window frame with all my strength. My arm was low-key strong from how much I gooned and I fucking broke the window. I felt kinda tuff and imagined myself as a secret MMA prodigy. I didn't care anymore about the rent and the room and the window.
I felt like I was low-key insane bcus my hand was diced with shattered glass chunks and it didn't hurt at all so I low-key just cleaned the glass right off the window frame with my hands. I stared at the now windowless opening of the wall where I threw and shot countless beer bottles and ropes at.
Then an old familiar thought hit me...what's stopping me from diving thru this wall and ending it all? So I walked up and looked over the empty window and analyzed how far i would fall and where I would land if I jumped. Right below me was a bench and a fire hydrant which is covered with snow and sitting behind a poorly shoveled sidewalk. I figured the only way for my attempt to succeed was diving headfirst onto the sidewalk and away from the thick winter snow; after all, my room was only on the third story. I prepared myself and closed my eyes shut.
I told myself to breath in the last breath of the cold lonely air before I leave it all behind...I thought about how much I hated myself and my life...about all the times I was humiliated and being so helpless and how dehumanizing every interaction of my existent felt...
...the depressing spiral of thought went on and on but shattered at a sudden screech noise that of a falcon...I looked up to wondering if this would be the last living thing I would see before ending my life...my eyes were met with no hint of life...is it because I'm so ugly that even the falcons avoid me...I yelled at the clear full moon that everyone adores and calls stunning...oh how I wish the world saw me the same way as they saw the serenity of the moonlight...how I wish I could stand so bright and clear above all else the world has to offer...to reach the amount of beauty so powerful that people build holidays around you...to be on top of the world and to conquer...
...the trail of thoughts and concepts led me to my earlier years in school, learning about legendary historical figures who stared into the very same moon after victories and success of conquests, with the entire world to their knees...I wonder what they felt like...as I stared into the same very moon history and greatness looks into, a black shadow lurks the corner of vision and absorbs my attention from the empty moongaze, it seems the beer was creeping up on me and I was beginning to feel wobbly I tried finding back my balance of my numb feet gripping the ice cold windowsill while fixating my gaze on the mystery in the sky...I lose my balance and in the split second of weightlessness, the thought of ending my life had become a reality
I lied in excruciating pain of all types, bruising, stinging, stabbing, penetrating, in every part of my body, and so much that I couldn't even think or process anything...I stared emptily in the unforgiving hollow sky as I lied on the sidewalk: paralyzed and dying, I didnt get the typical slideshow of memories that you're supposed to experience when your time has come. I was laying there overwhelmed with the feeling of regrets. I just wanted to call my mother and tell her that I'm sorry that...she had to... everything blurs and I was one with darkness...
As if years of darkness had pass, the familiar screech filled my "ears" as I descended from my dead body. I could see myself lying there motionless, staring up...I followed the dead gaze and saw the mysterious shadow I was so keen on seeing...it was an airship that ironically read:
I felt anger and sarcasm as my soul was engulfed to the core of the earth, and all I felt was...
