Deleted member 18436
Solstice
- Joined
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As a sperg myself there are some things i just have lacking this helped me fill a few gaps maybe it will help you
01 They’re Not Matching Your Energy
One dead giveaway that the person you’re talking to isn’t feeling it is that they’re not reciprocating your same excitement while chatting. Foid refers to this matching of wavelengths as mirroring. DeAlto tells Elite Daily that “when we are trying to make someone feel comfortable and make them feel like they’re important, we tend to mirror them, which means you’re putting the same amount of effort in as the other person.” If they’re not putting in the same energy, that could spell trouble.
02 They’re Not Trying To Get To Know You
A key aspect of mirroring, according to DeAlto, involves the person you’re talking to expressing equal interest in becoming more acquainted with you. “If they're interested, they're going to write back quickly and also they're going to be interested in getting to know you, so are they asking questions? Are they looking to get to know you better throughout the conversation? [It] is really an important indicator.”
03 They’re Taking A While To Respond
Another way to know if a guy or girl is not interested in you through text? They take forever to get back to you. It may be easy to give your crush the benefit of the doubt by telling yourself that a late night study session or family obligation prevented them from answering your texts, but if they’re consistently slow at responding, you may want to start questioning how invested they are in you. “If you send them a text and they don’t write back for a day, they’re probably not as interested as you are,” DeAlto says
04
They Aren’t Responding… At All
If your messages regularly go unanswered, it may be time to rethink if this relationship is one that’s worth pursuing. “While being unresponsive with wide gaps of time in between each text might not mean much in this day and age, it could be a sign that they aren't interested in you, or relationships at this time in their lives,” relationship counsellor and clinical sexologist Martha Lee tells Elite Daily. “We are now living in a world full of distractions and some of us are even holding down multiple roles, and even jobs. Then there are those who aren't completely ready to date after negative personal experiences which usually don't have anything to do with you. While your love interest might still crave human connection and interaction, it might be that they are simply emotionally and logistically unavailable.”
05 Their Texts Are Shorter Than Usual
If thoughtful, paragraph-long responses from the person you’re talking to have become things of the past, and instead have been replaced by passive, one-word replies, they may no longer be feeling the spark. “When someone isn’t that into you, their responses to your text messages will be short, as in one to three words,” online dating expert Julie Spira previously told Elite Daily. “By sending a reply with a word or two, if it doesn’t include a cute emoji, GIF, or exclamation point, it’s a sign that the person isn’t into you and they’re responding out of obligation.”
06 You’re The Person Who Usually Texts First
If you are consistently the one to strike up a conversation, that could be a strong indicator that your level of interest is not being matched, and that you may need to set your sights elsewhere. Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, previously told Elite Daily: "There's gotta be a balance if someone is really into you, so that you can feel like the relationship is moving forward.”
07 They Don’t Listen To What You Have To Say
It’s never good to feel like you’re being overlooked, and if the person you’re talking to has a habit of not paying attention to you or disregarding what you share about yourself, it's time to confront the possibility that you’re just not one of their priorities. “To me, the difference with being unresponsive (no answer or long delays in answer) and dismissive is the sense of feeling that your thoughts, feelings, and opinions aren't considered,” Lee says. “They ignore what you're saying and impose themselves onto you. As such, it is not a two-way relationship but more of a one-sided one. They don't remember what you've said, e.g. your preference, or availability. You don't factor in anything. With texts, you cannot see what else they're doing or who else they're speaking with. As such, you might explain their behaviour away as business. But we do take time and effort with who matters — and you're not it.”
08 They Straight-Up Tell You — Either With Their Words Or Actions
Paying attention to both the upfront and more subtle cues that you’re being emotionally neglected by the person you’re texting could save you from a world of heartache down the line. “I don't know how many people explain away emotional neglect and bad behaviour and make up excuses for others. At the start of a relationship, they do think what they think, feel and see about you and the future. A lot of us just hope against hope that things change,” Lee says. “Don't do this to yourself. Don't see it as a challenge and put yourself up for emotional pain — walk away. They've told you. You don't need to prove anything to anyone, especially yourself. You deserve better.”
Some of it is a bit meh but maybe someone else can get use out of this.
01 They’re Not Matching Your Energy
One dead giveaway that the person you’re talking to isn’t feeling it is that they’re not reciprocating your same excitement while chatting. Foid refers to this matching of wavelengths as mirroring. DeAlto tells Elite Daily that “when we are trying to make someone feel comfortable and make them feel like they’re important, we tend to mirror them, which means you’re putting the same amount of effort in as the other person.” If they’re not putting in the same energy, that could spell trouble.
02 They’re Not Trying To Get To Know You
A key aspect of mirroring, according to DeAlto, involves the person you’re talking to expressing equal interest in becoming more acquainted with you. “If they're interested, they're going to write back quickly and also they're going to be interested in getting to know you, so are they asking questions? Are they looking to get to know you better throughout the conversation? [It] is really an important indicator.”
03 They’re Taking A While To Respond
Another way to know if a guy or girl is not interested in you through text? They take forever to get back to you. It may be easy to give your crush the benefit of the doubt by telling yourself that a late night study session or family obligation prevented them from answering your texts, but if they’re consistently slow at responding, you may want to start questioning how invested they are in you. “If you send them a text and they don’t write back for a day, they’re probably not as interested as you are,” DeAlto says
04
They Aren’t Responding… At All
If your messages regularly go unanswered, it may be time to rethink if this relationship is one that’s worth pursuing. “While being unresponsive with wide gaps of time in between each text might not mean much in this day and age, it could be a sign that they aren't interested in you, or relationships at this time in their lives,” relationship counsellor and clinical sexologist Martha Lee tells Elite Daily. “We are now living in a world full of distractions and some of us are even holding down multiple roles, and even jobs. Then there are those who aren't completely ready to date after negative personal experiences which usually don't have anything to do with you. While your love interest might still crave human connection and interaction, it might be that they are simply emotionally and logistically unavailable.”
05 Their Texts Are Shorter Than Usual
If thoughtful, paragraph-long responses from the person you’re talking to have become things of the past, and instead have been replaced by passive, one-word replies, they may no longer be feeling the spark. “When someone isn’t that into you, their responses to your text messages will be short, as in one to three words,” online dating expert Julie Spira previously told Elite Daily. “By sending a reply with a word or two, if it doesn’t include a cute emoji, GIF, or exclamation point, it’s a sign that the person isn’t into you and they’re responding out of obligation.”
06 You’re The Person Who Usually Texts First
If you are consistently the one to strike up a conversation, that could be a strong indicator that your level of interest is not being matched, and that you may need to set your sights elsewhere. Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, previously told Elite Daily: "There's gotta be a balance if someone is really into you, so that you can feel like the relationship is moving forward.”
07 They Don’t Listen To What You Have To Say
It’s never good to feel like you’re being overlooked, and if the person you’re talking to has a habit of not paying attention to you or disregarding what you share about yourself, it's time to confront the possibility that you’re just not one of their priorities. “To me, the difference with being unresponsive (no answer or long delays in answer) and dismissive is the sense of feeling that your thoughts, feelings, and opinions aren't considered,” Lee says. “They ignore what you're saying and impose themselves onto you. As such, it is not a two-way relationship but more of a one-sided one. They don't remember what you've said, e.g. your preference, or availability. You don't factor in anything. With texts, you cannot see what else they're doing or who else they're speaking with. As such, you might explain their behaviour away as business. But we do take time and effort with who matters — and you're not it.”
08 They Straight-Up Tell You — Either With Their Words Or Actions
Paying attention to both the upfront and more subtle cues that you’re being emotionally neglected by the person you’re texting could save you from a world of heartache down the line. “I don't know how many people explain away emotional neglect and bad behaviour and make up excuses for others. At the start of a relationship, they do think what they think, feel and see about you and the future. A lot of us just hope against hope that things change,” Lee says. “Don't do this to yourself. Don't see it as a challenge and put yourself up for emotional pain — walk away. They've told you. You don't need to prove anything to anyone, especially yourself. You deserve better.”
Some of it is a bit meh but maybe someone else can get use out of this.
