
marshadow
Mom forgot to buy fucking water
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2024
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Wrote at 4AM so ignore any retardation pls, enjoy!
Featherweight(136-145 lbs): A personal favorite division of mine, so strap in. We start with a man named Max Holloway, Max is from a town in Hawaii known for being poor and home to trouble. He began his career early and made it all the way to the UFC, losing his first match to future legend Dustin Porier and winning a few fights before losing to Connor Mcgreggor very early into his career. After this loss to Mcgreggor Max began one of the greatest runs in UFC history. This run includes Charles Olivera(current #2 LW contender), Jose Aldo(Arguable goat of FW), and Brian Ortega(almost beat Volkonoski) Max beat Jose Aldo for his title, defending it a few times before Alexander Volkonovski got into the mix (we will call him Volk.) Volk won the first fight with Max, and their rematch (I think Max got robbed in the rematch) before defending his belt against Brian Ortega and The ‘Korean Zombie” two legends of the division. They then had a third belt which Alex once again won, cementing him as better than Max and totally outclassing him. After cementing himself as the true champion of the division, he decided to vacate his belt and move up to LW to challenge Islam Makachaev (another Dagestani, while not a nurmagomedov still involved with Khabib) for the #1 PFP in the world. In the meantime, the UFC decided to hold an interim title fight between Josh Emmet and Yair Rodriguez. Josh Emmet is a short man with INCREDIBLE knockout power, some of the strongest in any lower class and easily in FW and Yair is a lanky and rangy fighter who tries to get into boxing exchanges. Long story short, Yair wins to become the interim champion of the FW division. Volk then fought Yair and won to unify the belts of the division. Its time to introduce the absolute fucking man, a man by the name of Ilia Topuria. Topuria had been around before Yair vs Volk but im introducing him now for continuity. Ilia was a kid who was born in Germany, and moved to various nations through his entire life racking up fighting experience all over the world. Him and his brother trained together and decided to get so serious about fighting that Ilia dropped out of basic level education to train full time. Ilia began his UFC career against a man named Youssef Zalal, nothing special. But what makes it interesting is the fact that less than a week prior Ilia had tested positive for Covid and had symptoms making it impossible for him to train. Still, he tested negative and flew out on a few days notice to claim his first UFC win. Ilia then fought 2 more times and won without anything worth mentioning, until his third bout against “Jai Herbert” a very tall and lanky striker who almost KO’d Ilia with a clean head kick early into the fight which Ilia somehow survived. Jai Herbert is to this day Ilia’s only fight outside of FW, taking place at LW. Bryce Mitchell, a submission artist then got submitted by Ilia and Josh Emmet got completely outboxed and dismantled by Topuria in which Topuria claimed one of 4 10-7 rounds in UFC history, against a former interim champ no less. He then challenged Volk for the title and knocked him out after losing the first round and knocked out Max Holloway next, a man who has arguably the greatest chin in all of UFC history. After these wins Ilia had vacated the title in order to challenge for double champion status, moving up to LW. With an open champion spot, and Max having moved up to LW as well Volk was pitted against Diego Lopez. I am writing this on the same night I watched Volk vs Lopes live and Volk, despite being 36 absolutely dismantled Lopez and outclassed him becoming the first man in a lower weight class above the age of 35 to ever win a title bout. The next fight will likely be a defense against Movsar who will probably wrestle rape Volk to absolute oblivion.
@R1PPer @Volksstaffel @FastBananaCEO (happy now?)
Featherweight(136-145 lbs): A personal favorite division of mine, so strap in. We start with a man named Max Holloway, Max is from a town in Hawaii known for being poor and home to trouble. He began his career early and made it all the way to the UFC, losing his first match to future legend Dustin Porier and winning a few fights before losing to Connor Mcgreggor very early into his career. After this loss to Mcgreggor Max began one of the greatest runs in UFC history. This run includes Charles Olivera(current #2 LW contender), Jose Aldo(Arguable goat of FW), and Brian Ortega(almost beat Volkonoski) Max beat Jose Aldo for his title, defending it a few times before Alexander Volkonovski got into the mix (we will call him Volk.) Volk won the first fight with Max, and their rematch (I think Max got robbed in the rematch) before defending his belt against Brian Ortega and The ‘Korean Zombie” two legends of the division. They then had a third belt which Alex once again won, cementing him as better than Max and totally outclassing him. After cementing himself as the true champion of the division, he decided to vacate his belt and move up to LW to challenge Islam Makachaev (another Dagestani, while not a nurmagomedov still involved with Khabib) for the #1 PFP in the world. In the meantime, the UFC decided to hold an interim title fight between Josh Emmet and Yair Rodriguez. Josh Emmet is a short man with INCREDIBLE knockout power, some of the strongest in any lower class and easily in FW and Yair is a lanky and rangy fighter who tries to get into boxing exchanges. Long story short, Yair wins to become the interim champion of the FW division. Volk then fought Yair and won to unify the belts of the division. Its time to introduce the absolute fucking man, a man by the name of Ilia Topuria. Topuria had been around before Yair vs Volk but im introducing him now for continuity. Ilia was a kid who was born in Germany, and moved to various nations through his entire life racking up fighting experience all over the world. Him and his brother trained together and decided to get so serious about fighting that Ilia dropped out of basic level education to train full time. Ilia began his UFC career against a man named Youssef Zalal, nothing special. But what makes it interesting is the fact that less than a week prior Ilia had tested positive for Covid and had symptoms making it impossible for him to train. Still, he tested negative and flew out on a few days notice to claim his first UFC win. Ilia then fought 2 more times and won without anything worth mentioning, until his third bout against “Jai Herbert” a very tall and lanky striker who almost KO’d Ilia with a clean head kick early into the fight which Ilia somehow survived. Jai Herbert is to this day Ilia’s only fight outside of FW, taking place at LW. Bryce Mitchell, a submission artist then got submitted by Ilia and Josh Emmet got completely outboxed and dismantled by Topuria in which Topuria claimed one of 4 10-7 rounds in UFC history, against a former interim champ no less. He then challenged Volk for the title and knocked him out after losing the first round and knocked out Max Holloway next, a man who has arguably the greatest chin in all of UFC history. After these wins Ilia had vacated the title in order to challenge for double champion status, moving up to LW. With an open champion spot, and Max having moved up to LW as well Volk was pitted against Diego Lopez. I am writing this on the same night I watched Volk vs Lopes live and Volk, despite being 36 absolutely dismantled Lopez and outclassed him becoming the first man in a lower weight class above the age of 35 to ever win a title bout. The next fight will likely be a defense against Movsar who will probably wrestle rape Volk to absolute oblivion.
@R1PPer @Volksstaffel @FastBananaCEO (happy now?)