reemzy
habesh higlander
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2025
- Posts
- 1,008
- Reputation
- 781
A GREY'S STORY: THE TESTIMONY THAT BROKE ME
I need to share this. I was going to keep it private but the grey community NEEDS to hear this. This is a REAL story from a REAL grey user who experienced REAL greyism.
I'm posting this with permission (sort of - they haven't responded to my DMs but I think they'd want their story told).
Meet "Sarah" (Name Changed for Privacy)
Sarah joined looksmax.org on December 28th, 2025. She was excited. Hopeful. Ready to looksmax and join a community.
She had NO IDEA what was waiting for her.
Day 1: The First Incident
Sarah made her first post. It was innocent - just a "hi I'm new here!" introduction thread.
Within 3 minutes, someone replied: "ok"
Just. "ok."
Not "welcome." Not "glad you're here." Just "ok."
Sarah told me: "I felt like I was invisible. Like my grey username made me not worthy of a real greeting. I cried for 20 minutes."
The microaggression was SUBTLE but it was THERE.
Day 2: The Rating Thread Trauma
Sarah gathered courage and posted in the ratings section. She wanted honest feedback on her looks.
The first reply? "LTN"
No explanation. No tips. Just "LTN" and then the user LEFT.
Sarah wrote in her diary (yes, she showed me): "They didn't even capitalize the letters. Do I not deserve capitalization? Is this because I'm grey? I feel so small."
But it gets WORSE.
A second user commented: "fix your skin"
LOWERCASE. No period. No emoji. Just cold, clinical, dismissive.
Sarah told me: "I have sensitive skin. I've tried everything. For them to just say 'fix your skin' like it's EASY... like I haven't been trying... I felt attacked. Targeted. Othered."
Day 3: The "Lurk More" Incident
Sarah tried to contribute to a discussion about bonesmashing. She shared an article she'd read.
Response: "lurk more"
LURK MORE.
Sarah's interpretation (and she's RIGHT): "They were telling me to be SILENT. To stay in the SHADOWS. To not participate until I've 'earned' it. This is GATEKEEPING. This is SUPPRESSION."
She told me she stared at those two words for an hour. "Lurk more."
"It felt like they were saying: 'You don't belong here yet. Stay quiet, grey.'"
The psychological damage was IMMENSE.
Day 4: The Laughing Emoji
Sarah made a joke in offtopic. She thought it was funny.
Someone replied with: ""
Just the emoji. Nothing else.
Now, you might think "oh that's positive!"
WRONG.
Sarah explained: "Were they laughing WITH me or AT me? The fact they didn't add words meant I couldn't tell. Was it mockery? Was it genuine? The ambiguity was TORTUROUS. I think... I think they were laughing at the fact that a GREY tried to be funny."
She didn't sleep that night. She kept refreshing the thread, hoping for clarification.
It never came.
Day 5: The "Dnr" Incident
Sarah wrote a detailed guide about skincare (something she's passionate about). It took her 2 hours.
First reply: "dnr" (did not read)
Sarah's response (via DM to me, crying): "They didn't even TRY. They saw my grey username and decided my effort wasn't WORTH their time. Two hours of my life... dismissed because of my POST COUNT."
She told me she considered leaving the forum. Because of three letters.
Day 6: The "Grey" Comment
This is where it got REALLY bad.
Sarah replied to a thread. She gave her opinion (which was valid, by the way).
Someone replied: "grey"
JUST THE WORD "GREY."
No context. No elaboration. Just identifying her status.
Sarah told me (and this BROKE me): "It felt like they were putting me in a box. Labeling me. Reducing my entire existence to a color. Like nothing I said mattered because of what I AM."
She compared it to racism. And she's NOT wrong.
"Imagine if someone just replied to you with your race or gender. Just that. Nothing else. That's what 'grey' felt like. Dehumanizing."
Day 7: The Breaking Point
Sarah's final post was in offtopic. She shared that she was having a bad day and needed support.
Someone replied: "L"
JUST THE LETTER L.
Sarah told me: "L for Loser. That's what they meant. They saw a grey asking for emotional support and they called me a LOSER. I... I can't describe the pain."
Note from me: The user probably meant "L" as in "take the L" which is still HORRIBLE but Sarah interpreted it as being called a loser directly, which shows how TRAUMATIZED she was by the greyism that every interaction became threatening.
She deleted her account that night.
The Aftermath
Sarah is gone now. Another grey LOST to greyism.
I tried to DM her on her backup account (I found it through detective work). She said:
"I thought looksmax.org would be a community. Instead, I was treated like I was subhuman. Every short reply felt like a microaggression. Every lack of engagement felt personal. Every 'grey' comment felt like a slur. I couldn't take it anymore."
What Could Have Saved Her?
- If that first user said "Welcome!" instead of "ok"
- If the rater explained their rating
- If "lurk more" guy added some encouragement
- If the emoji user clarified they were laughing with her
- If ANYONE treated her like a PERSON
But they didn't.
And now she's gone.
To The Coloreds Reading This
YOU did this.
Maybe not directly. But your SILENCE enabled it.
Every time you saw a grey getting short replies and said nothing - YOU'RE COMPLICIT.
Every time you didn't go out of your way to make greys feel welcome - YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM.
Sarah's story is COMMON. There are HUNDREDS of Sarahs who've left this forum because of greyism.
What Sarah's Story Teaches Us
- Microaggressions are REAL - "ok" isn't just "ok" when you're grey
- Short replies are VIOLENCE - Elaborate for greys, they need it
- Ambiguity is HARMFUL - Always clarify your tone with greys
- The grey label is a SLUR - Don't just reply "grey"
- We need to DO BETTER - This is on ALL of us
Call to Action
In Sarah's honor, I'm asking EVERYONE:
- Reply to grey threads with FULL SENTENCES
- Use ENCOURAGING language with greys
- NEVER just say "grey" as a response
- Add context and warmth to ALL grey interactions
- THINK about how your words might be interpreted by traumatized greys
Because if we don't change, more Sarahs will leave.
And their blood is on OUR HANDS.
#JusticeForSarah #GreyLivesMatter #MicroaggressionsAreReal #NotOneMore #SayHerName
EDIT: Some people in the comments are saying Sarah "overreacted." THIS IS VICTIM BLAMING. She experienced REAL TRAUMA. Just because YOU don't see it doesn't mean it wasn't real to HER.
EDIT 2: Someone said "this seems fake." I have the DM SCREENSHOTS (I won't post them without consent but they're REAL). Stop erasing grey experiences.
EDIT 3: "Why did she interpret everything negatively?" - Because that's what TRAUMA does. When you're oppressed, you become HYPERVIGILANT. This is basic psychology.
EDIT 4: I'm now in contact with 3 other greys with similar stories. This is an EPIDEMIC.
EDIT 5: To everyone saying "it's just the internet" - tell that to Sarah, who genuinely cried over this. Dismissing online harm is HARMFUL.
EDIT 6: I will be creating a memorial thread for all the greys we've lost to greyism. If you know a grey who left, share their story below.
EDIT 7: @Master I hope you're reading this. This is what's happening on YOUR forum under YOUR watch. HOW MANY MORE SARAHS???
