Chadeep
Mumbai Slum Dweller
- Joined
- Feb 29, 2020
- Posts
- 45,994
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I was 36 when met this man on a dating app back in 2023, at first I used to ignored him because he is from a different cultural background and I had a negative experience with an indian man who ended up marrying someone else and all the cultural and family norms can be challenging for these men.
One day I decided to give him a shot since we lived in the same city and eventually met him in person. He showed up with flowers on the first date. At first he was sweet caring and used to bring me everywhere. One incident happened and he lost everything in a house fire I supported him during this time (nit financially) but with everything else involving searching for a new place, cleaning, bew furniture etc... this incident made us grow very closed and he confessed his love for me. I told him I was looking for marriage and if he was on board thats the final goal. He made me wait a few weeks, weeks turned to months months turned to a year.
He kept avoiding the topic of marriage or will give me different excuses. He even made excuses for me not to talk to his parents who live in Bangladesh.
He always said he loves me deeply, cried for me and treated me well and even talked about kids and how nikah is performed (because im Hispanic non Muslim) Our relationship was like a dream except his excuses for commitment.
Until one day he said he had to travel to Bangladesh because his mom was very ill. During this time I was already overwhelmed with him avoiding commitment and future relationship topics. I knew something wasn't right but I loved him too much to end the relationship and had faith that maybe one day he would propose to me.
Eventually he went to Bangladesh, but I has a gut feeling that I couldn't shake and then I got sick with covid so I had to stay home recovering and had a lot of time in my hands, so I started investigating and found another Facebook account with his middle name on it. It was him! Then I found pictures of him with a child and his profile said he was married to this woman since 2014.
This broke me beyond repair, I can't even describe the intensity of the pain. He denied it and lied about everything while he was still there. Once he came back he tried to find me til he eventually did and tried to convince me that he was divorcing, he doesn't love her, he loves me, he will marry me etc... I believed him and got back with him because he said they were divorcing and the family was hesitant to let them divorce and he was trying to sort things out bur it was in process to be finalized.
Well time went by and he said divorce was finalized. He set a day for our Nikkah. As the date approached i noticed that he wasn't talking about it, avoiding the topic and I realized he was deceiving me once again. Turned out to be he was still married never fiked for divorce and told me he was not leaving his wife but couldn't leave me becausehe was in deep love with me.
I walked away and never look back, but the wounds were so deep they ruined my health. I never intended to date a married man, I believed he was divorcing, he deceived me, he used me for companionship and had no intentions to build a life with ne at all.
I also found out that he lied about his age. He said he was 31 but he was actually my age. Not sure why he did that.
I had the dream to have kids with him, I loved him deeply. This love deception broke me beyond repair. I developed hormonal issues and infertility, PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia and panic attacks. I started drinking alcohol to cope and just quit recently. I have withdrawn from everyone and it's been a while now but I haven't been able to recover.
Please don't judge me, he was a master manipulator
I need advice to overcome this.
One day I decided to give him a shot since we lived in the same city and eventually met him in person. He showed up with flowers on the first date. At first he was sweet caring and used to bring me everywhere. One incident happened and he lost everything in a house fire I supported him during this time (nit financially) but with everything else involving searching for a new place, cleaning, bew furniture etc... this incident made us grow very closed and he confessed his love for me. I told him I was looking for marriage and if he was on board thats the final goal. He made me wait a few weeks, weeks turned to months months turned to a year.
He kept avoiding the topic of marriage or will give me different excuses. He even made excuses for me not to talk to his parents who live in Bangladesh.
He always said he loves me deeply, cried for me and treated me well and even talked about kids and how nikah is performed (because im Hispanic non Muslim) Our relationship was like a dream except his excuses for commitment.
Until one day he said he had to travel to Bangladesh because his mom was very ill. During this time I was already overwhelmed with him avoiding commitment and future relationship topics. I knew something wasn't right but I loved him too much to end the relationship and had faith that maybe one day he would propose to me.
Eventually he went to Bangladesh, but I has a gut feeling that I couldn't shake and then I got sick with covid so I had to stay home recovering and had a lot of time in my hands, so I started investigating and found another Facebook account with his middle name on it. It was him! Then I found pictures of him with a child and his profile said he was married to this woman since 2014.
This broke me beyond repair, I can't even describe the intensity of the pain. He denied it and lied about everything while he was still there. Once he came back he tried to find me til he eventually did and tried to convince me that he was divorcing, he doesn't love her, he loves me, he will marry me etc... I believed him and got back with him because he said they were divorcing and the family was hesitant to let them divorce and he was trying to sort things out bur it was in process to be finalized.
Well time went by and he said divorce was finalized. He set a day for our Nikkah. As the date approached i noticed that he wasn't talking about it, avoiding the topic and I realized he was deceiving me once again. Turned out to be he was still married never fiked for divorce and told me he was not leaving his wife but couldn't leave me becausehe was in deep love with me.
I walked away and never look back, but the wounds were so deep they ruined my health. I never intended to date a married man, I believed he was divorcing, he deceived me, he used me for companionship and had no intentions to build a life with ne at all.
I also found out that he lied about his age. He said he was 31 but he was actually my age. Not sure why he did that.
I had the dream to have kids with him, I loved him deeply. This love deception broke me beyond repair. I developed hormonal issues and infertility, PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia and panic attacks. I started drinking alcohol to cope and just quit recently. I have withdrawn from everyone and it's been a while now but I haven't been able to recover.
Please don't judge me, he was a master manipulator
I need advice to overcome this.
