BigJimsWornOutTires
Kraken
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2021
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June 19, 2003
When I was a young lad I had dreamed of going to New York to study and work in the entertainment industry. At the time, I was not a pundit of their culture but for the next few years through intensive research watching films like American Psycho; and series; Dexter and The Sopranos, I believed the dream was possible.
Around that period, I had a lady friend. Miss Scarlett Dankworth. She was indeed a captivating flower that always smelled fresh and radiated stimulating vibes. I remember when I first set eyes on her. It was one evening I was strolling the countryside humming a classic when I saw a car that had broken down with a flat tire. I offered my assistance. "Well good day, me lady! May I help fix that rubbish tire of yours?"
"Why thank you, my fine sir. That would be splendid!" Her smile beamed so brightly I could picture my cock shoved them her throat. Goodness, gracious! I thought to myself. Where did such horrible vulgarity come from? I was baffled but quickly pushed it aside and aided the charming lady.
From that day on, we exchanged letters and small gifts of friendship through the post. Once she sent me a dog carved from driftwood. She knew I had a weakness for the playful and hairy animal. So I sent her a dildo and Polaroid camera. She never replied back. I became sad as I would long for her to this very day.
I felt the American films were changing me into...something else.
September 10, 2005
Finally, I was ready to spread my wings and leave the nest. I hugged my mother farewell. And my grandmother. I kissed my great-grandmother passionately. "Farewell! I'll write as soon as I settle me aching bones in a warm lodge, cheerio!" I shouted as I waved and they waved back as the plane left the ground.
After arriving in the states and finding a fairly priced hostel at a little urban Americana called Inn Motel, which at the time, were housing African-American Katrina refugees but I was excited and ready to become a star!
The first night was rather uncomfortable but educational. The gentleman across from me screamed all night and banged his fists on the wall. The family of eight next store fried chicken and gizzards as the smoke crept into my room. Although the guests above I believe were students in theater as I heard their action scene rehearsals. I recall clearly what the actor said loudly. "Bitch, you fucked me for the last time!" Then there were firecracker pops and the actress nailed her line with professionalism as she reenacted a death scene. You shot me! You shot me!
After a few weeks, I began feeling homesick. I missed my family but mostly, Miss Scarlett Dankworth. So I texted her an image of my privates along with a PS: Ruff-ruff. She didn't reply back.
Desperation began tapping my ambition. Then remembering what Dr. Soran once said, "They say time is a fire in which we burn; right now I'm running out of time." Inspired me to make a move.
One night, I'm browsing a classified ad website looking for a break in the production business and stumbled upon a motivator. The black bold letters screamed at me from the monitor. Although his name was rather opposing to the service he offered, I emailed him anyway. He replied an hour later.
"Ugh. Yeah. I can help. I accept payment in iTunes or verifiable gift cards."
But I was rather skeptical about this payment method as I expressed my concern. "Well good day to you too sir. But wouldn't American dollars be more beneficial than gift cards?"
"Fuck money. Gift cards, retard."
So I oblige this strange practice and he began teaching me how to work in the entertainment industry. "Ugh. In the first lesson, you need a junkie with a monkey. Not the animal. But one with a drug addiction. That way you can control her with the drugs while selling her nasty ass, vagina, and mouth. Ugh."
I was outraged! How dare he suggest for me to socialize with such harlots as I expressed my disapproval, "How dare you suggest for me to socialize with such harlots! I am enraged and so I'm letting you know this."
"Ugh. Well. Then we'll make you into that whore. First thing. Get a gym membership. Second, consume lots of protein and Omega-3. Or just shoot up steroids all day. Finally, erect your body into a fuck machine wealthy women would want to grind their vaginas on."
This was something I could do. So I thanked my motivator, Big Jim's Worn Out Tire Sale, yes, a very unusual name indeed. He never replied back though. Such mystery with that chap.
From that day on I became a Chad. And he was right, women wanted to be around me. Eventually, I abandoned my dream and decided to just fuck the shit out of Stacies to my last dying breath.
When I was a young lad I had dreamed of going to New York to study and work in the entertainment industry. At the time, I was not a pundit of their culture but for the next few years through intensive research watching films like American Psycho; and series; Dexter and The Sopranos, I believed the dream was possible.
Around that period, I had a lady friend. Miss Scarlett Dankworth. She was indeed a captivating flower that always smelled fresh and radiated stimulating vibes. I remember when I first set eyes on her. It was one evening I was strolling the countryside humming a classic when I saw a car that had broken down with a flat tire. I offered my assistance. "Well good day, me lady! May I help fix that rubbish tire of yours?"
"Why thank you, my fine sir. That would be splendid!" Her smile beamed so brightly I could picture my cock shoved them her throat. Goodness, gracious! I thought to myself. Where did such horrible vulgarity come from? I was baffled but quickly pushed it aside and aided the charming lady.
From that day on, we exchanged letters and small gifts of friendship through the post. Once she sent me a dog carved from driftwood. She knew I had a weakness for the playful and hairy animal. So I sent her a dildo and Polaroid camera. She never replied back. I became sad as I would long for her to this very day.
I felt the American films were changing me into...something else.
September 10, 2005
Finally, I was ready to spread my wings and leave the nest. I hugged my mother farewell. And my grandmother. I kissed my great-grandmother passionately. "Farewell! I'll write as soon as I settle me aching bones in a warm lodge, cheerio!" I shouted as I waved and they waved back as the plane left the ground.
After arriving in the states and finding a fairly priced hostel at a little urban Americana called Inn Motel, which at the time, were housing African-American Katrina refugees but I was excited and ready to become a star!
The first night was rather uncomfortable but educational. The gentleman across from me screamed all night and banged his fists on the wall. The family of eight next store fried chicken and gizzards as the smoke crept into my room. Although the guests above I believe were students in theater as I heard their action scene rehearsals. I recall clearly what the actor said loudly. "Bitch, you fucked me for the last time!" Then there were firecracker pops and the actress nailed her line with professionalism as she reenacted a death scene. You shot me! You shot me!
After a few weeks, I began feeling homesick. I missed my family but mostly, Miss Scarlett Dankworth. So I texted her an image of my privates along with a PS: Ruff-ruff. She didn't reply back.
Desperation began tapping my ambition. Then remembering what Dr. Soran once said, "They say time is a fire in which we burn; right now I'm running out of time." Inspired me to make a move.
One night, I'm browsing a classified ad website looking for a break in the production business and stumbled upon a motivator. The black bold letters screamed at me from the monitor. Although his name was rather opposing to the service he offered, I emailed him anyway. He replied an hour later.
"Ugh. Yeah. I can help. I accept payment in iTunes or verifiable gift cards."
But I was rather skeptical about this payment method as I expressed my concern. "Well good day to you too sir. But wouldn't American dollars be more beneficial than gift cards?"
"Fuck money. Gift cards, retard."
So I oblige this strange practice and he began teaching me how to work in the entertainment industry. "Ugh. In the first lesson, you need a junkie with a monkey. Not the animal. But one with a drug addiction. That way you can control her with the drugs while selling her nasty ass, vagina, and mouth. Ugh."
I was outraged! How dare he suggest for me to socialize with such harlots as I expressed my disapproval, "How dare you suggest for me to socialize with such harlots! I am enraged and so I'm letting you know this."
"Ugh. Well. Then we'll make you into that whore. First thing. Get a gym membership. Second, consume lots of protein and Omega-3. Or just shoot up steroids all day. Finally, erect your body into a fuck machine wealthy women would want to grind their vaginas on."
This was something I could do. So I thanked my motivator, Big Jim's Worn Out Tire Sale, yes, a very unusual name indeed. He never replied back though. Such mystery with that chap.
From that day on I became a Chad. And he was right, women wanted to be around me. Eventually, I abandoned my dream and decided to just fuck the shit out of Stacies to my last dying breath.
