Accepting the truth

[LXR]

I think one of the worst things in my life that permanently fucked my brain was the fact that I was led to believe that I was something special. In elementary school, I was a bit ahead of my peers academically. This led to my teachers praising me endlessly to my parents. Somehow my parents internalised it that I was special and made me believe that I was made for the stars. Same goes for height and athleticism. Young me was a bit taller and faster than others. However with age others catched up and suddenly I was no longer special. I got glasses, I got crooked teeth as my milk teeth fell out. I became average height, average intelligence as my peers catched up with me. All the while I had fully gulped the Kool Aid that I was something that I could never be me. I think this has been one of the biggest contributor to me still reeling from the blackpill. I used to think that maybe I am not handsome but I am still smart, I will become a researcher/millionaire/insert cope. But with passage months, I had to fully accept the fact that I am nothing special. In fact to confirm my fears, I did an anthropometric measurement of my body/life

Height = 5'9"
Bidelt = 18 inches
Wrist = 6 inches
Ankles = 8.5 inches
Penis = 5.8×5 length×girth
Face = LTN
IQ = Average
Educational attainment = average
Accolades = average
Income = average
Sexual experience = 0
Head Hair = full head of hair, juvenile hairline
Health = completely healthy
Status = Middle Class
ND/NT = NT

As you can see, apart from my health and hair, I am in fact below average in most things globally. In India my measurements are average/below average depending on the parameter, but globally speaking I am a below average guy. This has actually done me a good service, helping me from being a delusional retarded arrogant subhuman who would be a joke of the town.

Accepting it has not been easy, its like a heartbreak. All the things that I foolishly believed I could achieve, have vanished. For some time I could not find meaning in life, because nothing could come close to the fantasies I cooked up. Thankfully, I am healing from my delusions

 

[uglyretardednigga]

can relate

 

[LXR]

can relate

I hope you can heal too

 

[Riley209711]

self awareness pill

 

[jgrey080]

You're also NT which helps a lot, growing up nd you have EVERYONE calling you special instead of disabled or just saying something like lacking academically, it leads to every autistic weirdo to believe their special and above others ( ) which just sets us nd niggas back overall

 

[LXR]

You're also NT which helps a lot, growing up nd you have EVERYONE calling you special instead of disabled or just saying something like lacking academically, it leads to every autistic weirdo to believe their special and above others ( ) which just sets us nd niggas back overall

I think its my neurotypical mind that has helped me slowly come to terms with the fact of myself and how I rank. But its my shut in reclusive behaviour that has allowed me to recover from my delusions. Just being NT would be horrorfuel. Constsntly having the film of what I could have been instead of what I am limited by, thats worst of both worlds