BigJimsWornOutTires
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PHONE RINGS - BRITNEY SPEARS "OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN" RINGTONE, that is...
A shady Jewish-Italian answers. "Frank here!"
"Frank, John."
"Johnny boy! How are you today?"
"How am I?? I'm losing everything, Frank. Every fucking bit of coin! Not doing good."
"Ugh. And so I heard. Um. How can I help you?"
"Frank, I need to sell it all."
"Ugh, boogers. We're in a freeze, Johnny! No can do."
"Franky! I need to sell! It's everything I have!"
"Sorry, Johnny. No can do, buddy."
"Can you at least sell half?"
"Ugh. Nope! It's a freeze, buddy."
"Um. What about ten shares? Please?? I'll suck your dick."
"Oh. Um. But I thought you have that pretty little wife of yours. So you're not gay, uh, Johnny?"
"No. I'm not. I'm desperate, Franky. And I know you've been wanting this for some time now. I'll suck it dry, Franky!"
"Um. Let me see what I can do, and I'll get back to you asap."
"THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Luv you, brother!"
"I love you so fucking much."
"Excuse me?"
"Figure of speech! Gotta go."
...HALF AN HOUR LATER - CELEBRATION SONG, RINGTONE.
"Tell me you have good news!"
"Ugh, Johnny, they won't let me sell any of it. I'm sorry, buddy."
"Franky, Franky, I have no money! Everything I have is invested in Bitcoin. I can't even pay my gaddam rent on any of my properties now!"
"Ugh, sorry little buddy. I tried, Johnny. I really did."
"That's it. It's over."
"Sorry, buddy, sorry. Not to change the subject much, but what we talked about earlier...since I tried...can you still do that for me, buddy?"
"Suck your dick? Are you kidding me, Franky? Is that all you're concerned about?"
"Ugh. I'm a weak man, Johnny."
"You know what...no, Franky. I won't suck your dick. But you can fuck me in my ass since that's what you and your company already did to me! Why not finish the fucking job, Franky! Come over and fuck me in my ass!" KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK. "Hold on. Someone's at my door."
"That would be me."
A shady Jewish-Italian answers. "Frank here!"
"Frank, John."
"Johnny boy! How are you today?"
"How am I?? I'm losing everything, Frank. Every fucking bit of coin! Not doing good."
"Ugh. And so I heard. Um. How can I help you?"
"Frank, I need to sell it all."
"Ugh, boogers. We're in a freeze, Johnny! No can do."
"Franky! I need to sell! It's everything I have!"
"Sorry, Johnny. No can do, buddy."
"Can you at least sell half?"
"Ugh. Nope! It's a freeze, buddy."
"Um. What about ten shares? Please?? I'll suck your dick."
"Oh. Um. But I thought you have that pretty little wife of yours. So you're not gay, uh, Johnny?"
"No. I'm not. I'm desperate, Franky. And I know you've been wanting this for some time now. I'll suck it dry, Franky!"
"Um. Let me see what I can do, and I'll get back to you asap."
"THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Luv you, brother!"
"I love you so fucking much."
"Excuse me?"
"Figure of speech! Gotta go."
...HALF AN HOUR LATER - CELEBRATION SONG, RINGTONE.
"Tell me you have good news!"
"Ugh, Johnny, they won't let me sell any of it. I'm sorry, buddy."
"Franky, Franky, I have no money! Everything I have is invested in Bitcoin. I can't even pay my gaddam rent on any of my properties now!"
"Ugh, sorry little buddy. I tried, Johnny. I really did."
"That's it. It's over."
"Sorry, buddy, sorry. Not to change the subject much, but what we talked about earlier...since I tried...can you still do that for me, buddy?"
"Suck your dick? Are you kidding me, Franky? Is that all you're concerned about?"
"Ugh. I'm a weak man, Johnny."
"You know what...no, Franky. I won't suck your dick. But you can fuck me in my ass since that's what you and your company already did to me! Why not finish the fucking job, Franky! Come over and fuck me in my ass!" KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK. "Hold on. Someone's at my door."
"That would be me."
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