Poisonpunk3
Hypocrisy is man's best weapon and worst foe.
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2024
- Posts
- 338
- Reputation
- 499
As I've woken again, my heart raced as swiftly as my mind. Thoughts upon thoughts. For ever and ever, the same stagnant life I will have to complete. I concluded a long time ago, I wish the sand in that hourglass of mine could evaporate, just like a fine drop of rainwater, or a child's salty tear. I can see through one the way I see through myself when staring in the mirror, mere reflection of nothingness. When I decipher unlawful behavior, I am titled as an "unreasonable narcissist and manipulator".
I wish those around me could feel the consequences of their actions the way I always do and did. I've been whipped without justice, for wrong and right. I don't quote legitimate philosphers on such matters, although the likeminded asked themselves a million times over. Do you think a pile of shit feels popular just because it's surrounded by flies? I've always thought I was special for asking myself such questions at fragile ages. At the same time, since the dawn of time I was searching purpose. Problem was and still is, I am conjured by thousands of maps and I have a feeling, not one leads me to my treasure.
You can't build something out of nothing, that I know. But my perfectionism doesn't. Or maybe it's idealism, I can't quite differentiate. I've tried using complex words to sound intellectual, but I bit myself. I've tried writing poems on specific themes, which my mind sung. Instead, that one click just doesn't want to push itself.
I've been searching truth, I've found the blackpill, and still feel inconsistent. I swallowed and accepted, but I am still running away from reality. Even while writing this thread, I expect praise, thinking some had resonated and I'll get repped. The same it was with my poems, I thought by doing something only one was doing, I would get and be recognized. The topic of "Self-Gratification" and chasing it is overreacted and is more like mental masturbation. It extends further than porn, alcohol, pills, money and social media, that extension being as an example: vanity.
If you fail to realize that, then there is no more for you to realize. Indirectly stuck in a queue, a cycle, it's like being robbed blindly. I wanted to be the one in a million, but I am just one that represents the 999.999. Ive had days where I felt inferior, while I've had days where I felt superior. This complex is water for most, but somehow still a paradox. Go and read "Orb's high-IQ thread", that'll give you an insight.
TL;DR: I am spewing shit about feeling inferior and I am annoyed at the fact, that I am invisible for many. [Truecel trait]
I wish those around me could feel the consequences of their actions the way I always do and did. I've been whipped without justice, for wrong and right. I don't quote legitimate philosphers on such matters, although the likeminded asked themselves a million times over. Do you think a pile of shit feels popular just because it's surrounded by flies? I've always thought I was special for asking myself such questions at fragile ages. At the same time, since the dawn of time I was searching purpose. Problem was and still is, I am conjured by thousands of maps and I have a feeling, not one leads me to my treasure.
You can't build something out of nothing, that I know. But my perfectionism doesn't. Or maybe it's idealism, I can't quite differentiate. I've tried using complex words to sound intellectual, but I bit myself. I've tried writing poems on specific themes, which my mind sung. Instead, that one click just doesn't want to push itself.
I've been searching truth, I've found the blackpill, and still feel inconsistent. I swallowed and accepted, but I am still running away from reality. Even while writing this thread, I expect praise, thinking some had resonated and I'll get repped. The same it was with my poems, I thought by doing something only one was doing, I would get and be recognized. The topic of "Self-Gratification" and chasing it is overreacted and is more like mental masturbation. It extends further than porn, alcohol, pills, money and social media, that extension being as an example: vanity.
If you fail to realize that, then there is no more for you to realize. Indirectly stuck in a queue, a cycle, it's like being robbed blindly. I wanted to be the one in a million, but I am just one that represents the 999.999. Ive had days where I felt inferior, while I've had days where I felt superior. This complex is water for most, but somehow still a paradox. Go and read "Orb's high-IQ thread", that'll give you an insight.
TL;DR: I am spewing shit about feeling inferior and I am annoyed at the fact, that I am invisible for many. [Truecel trait]
