Almost attempted suicide again

[zascend8]

I kept getting videos of girls on my TikTok that I knew and I began to cry thinking about how I will never achieve love so I decided to try to get my mind off of it and go for a drive.

I instantly began hyperventilating and I almost passed out several times on the road in town. Snot and tears were rolling down my face as I was going severely under the speed limit swerving everywhere. My hands were locked up like I just got hit in the head with a sledgehammer and my entire body was completely numb as I caress the steering wheel misguiding me across the road wishing I was touching a women that loved me.

I dont know how long this last but i decided to drive my the parking lot(where people in my town hangout) and see all the people my age hanging out (my friend was there but had previously told me there was nothing to do tonight) I lived vicariously through there teenage bodies filled with normality as my body filled with jealousy and poured out of my am eyes and screamed on the top of my lungs “God” “No” “God please kill me” “I don’t want to live” as I balled my eyes out. I begged to get pulled over or someone see me but instead of disgust they show care and concern of me.

I countlessly debated amongst myself where I should kill myself by a high speed accident. But I was too busy crying and not paying attention to the road to do so, as I drive through the pasts of similar times and nostalgia, but still ever flooded with the memories that were bad and made me want to kill my self.

Then at one point as I approached the anonymous headlights at a 4 way stop and slowly made my way through the intersection I realized it was a girl who I have had feelings for, for 2 years but she has never considered me anything but a friend of a friend and a jester, if only she knew and she loved me. What I wouldn’t do for a woman’s love is not yet known to man.

Eventually I grow tired of crying and simply drive around more and my friend notices me and calls me (the same one that said there was nothing to do) as he restates himself I answered monatonely still covered in snot and tears. I have been debating telling him about my suicidal thoughts and tendencies but I forgo against it for tonight because I hear people in the background (I’d like to restate he said there was nothing to do)( rather he meant there was nothing to do with me and would rather hang out with normal people of society and improve his reputation)

I drove for about an hour but time wasn’t real as I was in that car. I hadn’t cried that hard and long since my failed suicide attempt.

 

[dhusc]

I kept getting videos of girls on my TikTok that I knew and I began to cry thinking about how I will never achieve love so I decided to try to get my mind off of it and go for a drive.

I instantly began hyperventilating and I almost passed out several times on the road in town. Snot and tears were rolling down my face as I was going severely under the speed limit swerving everywhere. My hands were locked up like I just got hit in the head with a sledgehammer and my entire body was completely numb as I caress the steering wheel misguiding me across the road wishing I was touching a women that loved me.

I dont know how long this last but i decided to drive my the parking lot(where people in my town hangout) and see all the people my age hanging out (my friend was there but had previously told me there was nothing to do tonight) I lived vicariously through there teenage bodies filled with normality as my body filled with jealousy and poured out of my am eyes and screamed on the top of my lungs “God” “No” “God please kill me” “I don’t want to live” as I balled my eyes out. I begged to get pulled over or someone see me but instead of disgust they show care and concern of me.

I countlessly debated amongst myself where I should kill myself by a high speed accident. But I was too busy crying and not paying attention to the road to do so, as I drive through the pasts of similar times and nostalgia, but still ever flooded with the memories that were bad and made me want to kill my self.

Then at one point as I approached the anonymous headlights at a 4 way stop and slowly made my way through the intersection I realized it was a girl who I have had feelings for, for 2 years but she has never considered me anything but a friend of a friend and a jester, if only she knew and she loved me. What I wouldn’t do for a woman’s love is not yet known to man.

Eventually I grow tired of crying and simply drive around more and my friend notices me and calls me (the same one that said there was nothing to do) as he restates himself I answered monatonely still covered in snot and tears. I have been debating telling him about my suicidal thoughts and tendencies but I forgo against it for tonight because I hear people in the background (I’d like to restate he said there was nothing to do)( rather he meant there was nothing to do with me and would rather hang out with normal people of society and improve his reputation)

I drove for about an hour but time wasn’t real as I was in that car. I hadn’t cried that hard and long since my failed suicide attempt.

 

[zascend8]

Why

 

[resting]

its gonna be okay man

just know there are people who love you

you dont need foids to make you happy

find joy in other things you do

 

[DrRodger]

No one gives a fuck

 

[zascend8]

its gonna be okay man

just know there are people who love you

you dont need foids to make you happy

find joy in other things you do

Even if there are people that “love” me it will never fill the hole, actual love is the only fulfilling thing in life and it is locked behind a gate

 

[1966Ford]

because ur sub5

 

[resting]

No one gives a fuck

so mean

Even if there are people that “love” me it will never fill the hole, actual love is the only fulfilling thing in life and it is locked behind a gate

if thats the only fulfilling thing for you in ur life you might be looking at it from the wrong angle

do you actually want love or do you just want someone to have sex with

 

[accinr]

its all about looks OP
if youre mtn+ you can get love
hate to be the bluepillcoper but you have to put yourself out there
if youre so much of a mentalcel id suggest clinical intervention

take this advice with a grain of salt though

 

[zascend8]

so mean


if thats the only fulfilling thing for you in ur life you might be looking at it from the wrong angle

do you actually want love or do you just want someone to have sex with

Love

 

[accinr]

because ur sub5

more than likely yeah

 

[ShamelessClubSlut]

I’m sorry and I care. This world is cruel and it’s fucking brutal. You didn’t deserve this and you did nothing wrong. Your feelings are normal. Anyone would feel this pain in the same situation. Unfortunately, trying to explain it to people who haven’t experienced it is like trying to explain color to the blind, cliche as that is.

This is a rejection not of individual women, but of humanity itself. Your very humanity is denied and you are expected to “just work hard bro” or “just focus on other things bro”

Fuck that. Your feelings are real. And even if the entirely world tells you otherwise, you’re human to me.

 

[zascend8]

its all about looks OP
if youre mtn+ you can get love
hate to be the bluepillcoper but you have to put yourself out there
if youre so much of a mentalcel id suggest clinical intervention

take this advice with a grain of salt though

Mtn wouldn’t do shit

 

[accinr]

Mtn wouldn’t do shit

it would lol but you wont have the htn+ halo
looks are correlated to your dating life but its nuanced
"muhhh nuanceee" the average couple is not a stacy and chad its likely ltb and lmtn

 

[pony]

 

[ReadBooksEveryday]

It might be hard to understand now but you’ll realize one day you don’t need a femoid to find happiness

 

[zascend8]

It might be hard to understand now but you’ll realize one day you don’t need a femoid to find happiness

I’ll be dead

 

[armemann]

height + rating?