Am I a woman?

[ThomasJefferson]

Long read here is ambience to listen to while reading :

Recently, in order to give away my monk mode, I decided to try and get laid, but obviously, in the western world, even the lowest of the low girls have guys go through loops or are very much whores. So in order to fix it, I decide to go to Asia, where my smv will be increased dramatically but I am truly not looking for love, and I plan to leave every girl here because my destiny is some angelic stacy.

Now you are probably asking yourself, Why did I say I was a woman? Because in my quest to slay here, I have done everything a woman does in the west. I sleep around, I say things I do not mean just for attention, and I lead them on knowing that I could never love them. But the problem is i havent slept with them even though they want to sleep with me, and that is because I feel bad i already feel bad when one shows a lot of effort in conversating with me on bumble but i dont really find her all that attractive so i leave her on read but yet i respond with a half effort question in order for to respond in the next five. I came to Asia to date based on my looks, and yet I still have a problem dating. There have even been some beautiful girls, but yet I don't feel good because I do feel like I'm taking advantage of them. They have a mother and father; what kind of guy would I be if I treated their kids like this? I feel like I'm in the place of a woman in the west. I get treated really well, and I can slay people out of my league, dating here is such low effort but only if you are cold hearted, but I'm a man and not a woman, I share empathy. I don't want to be a slut that makes me other people feel bad. What should I do?

 

[dreamcake1mo]

Just going to throw this out there. I can very much relate to the dilemma of not wanting a actual relationship at all with a women when it comes to commitment. I personally would never commit to a women considering they are so many mysteries about life such as god, and knowledge and wisdom from wise people that supports my decision. I simply am already taken.

But i get it. This same thought about how temporary i am to the romantic relationship trope inhibits my desire to form one. Issue is probably the fact that you failed to identify your purpose before your trip. Your purpose. Why are you looking for some angelic stacy unicorn in the first place? I can almost guarantee you this shell purpose wont be satisfying.

Also i would look internally into some of your trauma. Id imagine your perception of you replacing the place of a women in the west is due to the difference of treatment. Perhaps you are not used to people actually treating you with value, no matter how shallow their values are (for example, the fact that you are a rare phenotype or aesthetic relative to what they are used to. Aka hypergamy.).

 

[ThomasJefferson]

Wow that was actually really therapeutic to read. I really like how you point out your belief about relationships. I think ideally that is how I would want to be too with my relationships, and the people I look up to the most seem to have a belief similar to that.

So I guess my purpose at first was really to get out of América where I disliked it and felt that I wanted somewhere where I would feel better valued in the quickest way. I think I had some thought that I could raised my body count and I would feel better because I "conquered" more girls but I was also using it to raise my confidence, like it being easy mode before I go to a harder mode where in different places I would have a harder time getting girls. like practice to me. I think I have a hard time not being perceived as the best. And the reason I have a perfect version of a girl is because I have a feeling of myself needing to be perfect

I know this stunts me in several ways, I have a hard time liking what is mine and I compare myself to the very top percent of people where I am better than most but if Im not the top I feel shame that I am not them. Would you have any more thoughts? Also, thank you for your previous reply it was very insightful.

 

[klip11]

Yes. You are a woman. You are a snowbunny that likes BBC up your butt.