Parminder Singh
Tall HTN
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2025
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This post is for Indians on the platform, but can also be helpful for those who wish to understand the Indian dating scene.
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India is a largely patriarchal, conservative society. Women r not safe everywhere. So unlike the West, where dating is openly sexual and direct, in India, it is strongly discouraged because Indian society is a low trust society.
In India, there r a few metropolitan cities. These cities have a dating culture similar to the west. People r open, have flings situationships and one night stands, online dating is popular, the regular stuff. Majority Indians live in small cities which have a completely different culture as follows..
Approaching a woman directly to ask her out or asking for her number, is seen as cheap and the woman can be judged negatively for responding, in the worst case scenario, the woman may invite a crowd to socially punish the man or accuse him of disrespecting her honor. Even if she doesn't make noise, white knights will gather up to threaten or beat the crap out of you. Men and women dress up and go to malls, restaurant chains, or movies etc just to scope out babes/boys, but since they can't approach each other, they remained cockblocked (or pussyblocked) and return home, and spend time in fantasy.
In certain big universities, there is a more open culture within the boundaries of university where women and men are more open to dating. Urban cafes and restaurants allow men and women to accompany each other, whereas rural or even poorer urban areas raise an eyebrow if a young man and woman are seen together. PDA is strictly forbidden. Also, the average penis size in India is 4 to 5 inches, but since sexual relationships without marriage, and sex education aren't common, both men and women are very naive about each other's bodies. Nowadays, in urban areas, boys and girls rent rooms to have sex. Most people live with their parents, so live-in relationships r only possible when both partners live independently. Since India has a strong Ghazal, poetry, ishq (pure love), and folk culture, many people believe in the concept of true unconditional love that is seen as kind of abstract. But in urban areas, the view of relationships is more practical.
Excluding some urban centres, showing skin is not common. Women keep themselves covered, especially in much smaller cities and rural areas. Seeing the sight of a woman's legs is quite a sight for many, and can give men boners and those women a bad reputation.
India’s social landscape is not built for the usual dating tactics of the west. To get a chick, outside well developed cities, a man must be respectful and slowly win her trust (usually through fake promises of ishq and manipulation), being direct, confident, suave, or charismatic can read as cheap or predatory behaviour. Acting like the alpha male bad boy will lead to you becoming a social outcast because Indians expect politeness, respect, and care for the social norms. Acting like a bad bitch will lead to the same result, and it's actually much worse for women to act this way.
Indian movies romanticise stalking, not taking a no, and absolute persistence until the woman says yes to a relationship. If a hard rejection does come, movies romanticise self-sabotage by drinking, smoking, not working, longing for what has been lost, isolating and distancing yourself, writing/singing/listening to heart wrenching songs and poetry, in place of moving on. This leads many men to indulge in these behaviours and end up in trouble or ruining their lives. Indian films also promote simping very hard, which includes helping all women, offering your resources with nothing in return, showering her with over the top compliments, entertaining her by acting like a clown, fighting for the woman, and in some cases, helping her get with the man she loves. These sorta simp men end up getting used by clever girls.
Like mentioned before, universities have their own dating bubble. Once college is over, life resets. You prolly can't date anymore. Dating apps use isn't very common, approaching is not good, club culture is non-existent in small cities, unless you end up in the workplace with female co-workers, or remain in touch with ur college female circle, ur not gonna be able to date anybody anymore. So the only time frame in which Indians can usually date is from school (class 9th to 12th) and college (bachelors, and masters). Whatever experience u had during these years, will be your lasting dating experience. If u had a girlfriend, you'll remember that. If u remained single or kept simping for one chick, you're gonna remember and regret just that, until u r married.
Although love marriages r gaining popularity very gradually, arrange marriages r the norm. Traditional home making women r always in high demand in Indian arrange marriage market, and men with govt job. U will hear a lot of Indian men say that women come with money. That is true. Many chicks date guys in college, only to dump those guys, and marry a well settled man at the request of their parents. This is a major topic in Indian sad songs. Women are privately unhappy in these arranged scenarios because they're convinced to marry based on practical reasons despite feeling no attraction towards the man.
You need to be at least upper middle class to be able to date successfully in most cases, although exceptions exist. Taking a girl to movies on a bike, paying for popcorn, and then taking her to a cafe to eat, and returning to her drop point, can easily cost Rs. 1300 to 1500. Even if you take ur gf out twice a month, it will cost u around Rs. 3000 a month. An average Indian salary is Rs. 20K (for a family of 4 or more people). Women usually do not pay on dates. Many girls who live on college campuses, date upper middle class or higher men in college to afford a good lifestyle.
Love marriages in India mostly evolve from college relationships. Unlike the west, where they marry after properly knowing each other. Indian love marriages r built on promises of ishq and are quick affairs. People get in relationships in college, make promises to each other, and by persistence of one or both partners, rush to marry each other before they're arranged married to someone else after college.
Indian men can express their admiration for women's beauty in literal or poetic terms under some contexts but women are highly restricted in the department. Women can't directly appreciate a man's looks openly, so substitute language is used. For example, an Indian woman might call a man “smart”, which literally means intelligent, but in India, it's a colloquial synonym for “handsome” when used for a man, this is acceptable vocabulary. This bias also exists in songs. Songs about women include praise about their eyes, skin, face, lips, nose, neck, navel, hips, legs, feet, etc. Whereas songs praising men only mention their attitude, or occasionally their height. Men's looks r never openly discussed. Men's grooming habits r also not discussed and are discouraged, many men is small cities and rural areas, face criticism for caring too much about their looks. Caring about appearance is considered a woman's concern.
Caste and religion also play a massive role. India has a strong community system. Although times r gradually changing, dating outside your caste or creed is considered unacceptable in many parts of India. Skin colour is also a major factor. Color discrimination remains active in northern India despite efforts and fair skin is preferred over dark skin, in both men and women. Although tanned men are more acceptable than tanned or sunlit women. Dark skin is acceptable in South India.
Generally, men of Punjab and Haryana are considered the hottest as they have better genetics. They are usually taller, stockier, protective, and have proud and jovial attitudes (for reference, I personally compare them to Baratheons from ASOIAF). Indian men usually consider any urban chicks hotter than rural ones, because urban chicks r considered more open and put more effort in their appearance with makeup.
Since the average male height in India is 5’5 to 5’6, a 6’0 Indian dude is the equivalent of a 6’3 American Chad archetype. Even being 5’9 or above, is considered good height if u look good enough. Anything over 6’2 becomes an overkill as such tall people aren't represented in India. In the west, hollywood actors, models, and athletes r very tall. Whereas average Bollywood or cricket hot guys aren't usually over 6’0. In states like Punjab and Haryana, where people r taller, being 6’3 or above may be a good thing. Since metro cities follow western trends, demand for really tall men is increasing.
Indian young men is getting influenced by Western dating coaches, and ideologies like red pill and black pill, and influencers like Andrew Tate and Hamza. Some guys develop insecurity for not being 6’5 (for example), even though that's not the norm in India, and western dynamics don't translate well in India, as previously mentioned.
Certain urban or fancy cities act as temporary hubs to escape restrictive society for people of smaller cities or rural areas. For example, Chandigarh, the union territory of Punjab and Haryana, is frequented by small city and rural residents of neighbouring Punjab, Haryana, and even Himachal Pradesh, on weekends. Conservative reality resets once they exit Chandigarh.
If someone’s college life is over and the people of opposite gender are not around them, a precious option to finally get attention from and eventually date the opposite gender becomes joining an IELTS coaching center or a government job preparation coaching centre. Many Indians are willing to move abroad and struggle just to escape restrictive Indian society and hopefully date someone. Many Indians moving to Canada have this thought at the back of their minds but it doesnt become part of public discussion.
Ending note:
Continuous westernisation is gradually changing things. More and more small city Indians are adopting modern attitudes. They are likely to change more in the future. This passage explains the ways things currently stand, as per my observation.
---
India is a largely patriarchal, conservative society. Women r not safe everywhere. So unlike the West, where dating is openly sexual and direct, in India, it is strongly discouraged because Indian society is a low trust society.
In India, there r a few metropolitan cities. These cities have a dating culture similar to the west. People r open, have flings situationships and one night stands, online dating is popular, the regular stuff. Majority Indians live in small cities which have a completely different culture as follows..
Approaching a woman directly to ask her out or asking for her number, is seen as cheap and the woman can be judged negatively for responding, in the worst case scenario, the woman may invite a crowd to socially punish the man or accuse him of disrespecting her honor. Even if she doesn't make noise, white knights will gather up to threaten or beat the crap out of you. Men and women dress up and go to malls, restaurant chains, or movies etc just to scope out babes/boys, but since they can't approach each other, they remained cockblocked (or pussyblocked) and return home, and spend time in fantasy.
In certain big universities, there is a more open culture within the boundaries of university where women and men are more open to dating. Urban cafes and restaurants allow men and women to accompany each other, whereas rural or even poorer urban areas raise an eyebrow if a young man and woman are seen together. PDA is strictly forbidden. Also, the average penis size in India is 4 to 5 inches, but since sexual relationships without marriage, and sex education aren't common, both men and women are very naive about each other's bodies. Nowadays, in urban areas, boys and girls rent rooms to have sex. Most people live with their parents, so live-in relationships r only possible when both partners live independently. Since India has a strong Ghazal, poetry, ishq (pure love), and folk culture, many people believe in the concept of true unconditional love that is seen as kind of abstract. But in urban areas, the view of relationships is more practical.
Excluding some urban centres, showing skin is not common. Women keep themselves covered, especially in much smaller cities and rural areas. Seeing the sight of a woman's legs is quite a sight for many, and can give men boners and those women a bad reputation.
India’s social landscape is not built for the usual dating tactics of the west. To get a chick, outside well developed cities, a man must be respectful and slowly win her trust (usually through fake promises of ishq and manipulation), being direct, confident, suave, or charismatic can read as cheap or predatory behaviour. Acting like the alpha male bad boy will lead to you becoming a social outcast because Indians expect politeness, respect, and care for the social norms. Acting like a bad bitch will lead to the same result, and it's actually much worse for women to act this way.
Indian movies romanticise stalking, not taking a no, and absolute persistence until the woman says yes to a relationship. If a hard rejection does come, movies romanticise self-sabotage by drinking, smoking, not working, longing for what has been lost, isolating and distancing yourself, writing/singing/listening to heart wrenching songs and poetry, in place of moving on. This leads many men to indulge in these behaviours and end up in trouble or ruining their lives. Indian films also promote simping very hard, which includes helping all women, offering your resources with nothing in return, showering her with over the top compliments, entertaining her by acting like a clown, fighting for the woman, and in some cases, helping her get with the man she loves. These sorta simp men end up getting used by clever girls.
Like mentioned before, universities have their own dating bubble. Once college is over, life resets. You prolly can't date anymore. Dating apps use isn't very common, approaching is not good, club culture is non-existent in small cities, unless you end up in the workplace with female co-workers, or remain in touch with ur college female circle, ur not gonna be able to date anybody anymore. So the only time frame in which Indians can usually date is from school (class 9th to 12th) and college (bachelors, and masters). Whatever experience u had during these years, will be your lasting dating experience. If u had a girlfriend, you'll remember that. If u remained single or kept simping for one chick, you're gonna remember and regret just that, until u r married.
Although love marriages r gaining popularity very gradually, arrange marriages r the norm. Traditional home making women r always in high demand in Indian arrange marriage market, and men with govt job. U will hear a lot of Indian men say that women come with money. That is true. Many chicks date guys in college, only to dump those guys, and marry a well settled man at the request of their parents. This is a major topic in Indian sad songs. Women are privately unhappy in these arranged scenarios because they're convinced to marry based on practical reasons despite feeling no attraction towards the man.
You need to be at least upper middle class to be able to date successfully in most cases, although exceptions exist. Taking a girl to movies on a bike, paying for popcorn, and then taking her to a cafe to eat, and returning to her drop point, can easily cost Rs. 1300 to 1500. Even if you take ur gf out twice a month, it will cost u around Rs. 3000 a month. An average Indian salary is Rs. 20K (for a family of 4 or more people). Women usually do not pay on dates. Many girls who live on college campuses, date upper middle class or higher men in college to afford a good lifestyle.
Love marriages in India mostly evolve from college relationships. Unlike the west, where they marry after properly knowing each other. Indian love marriages r built on promises of ishq and are quick affairs. People get in relationships in college, make promises to each other, and by persistence of one or both partners, rush to marry each other before they're arranged married to someone else after college.
Indian men can express their admiration for women's beauty in literal or poetic terms under some contexts but women are highly restricted in the department. Women can't directly appreciate a man's looks openly, so substitute language is used. For example, an Indian woman might call a man “smart”, which literally means intelligent, but in India, it's a colloquial synonym for “handsome” when used for a man, this is acceptable vocabulary. This bias also exists in songs. Songs about women include praise about their eyes, skin, face, lips, nose, neck, navel, hips, legs, feet, etc. Whereas songs praising men only mention their attitude, or occasionally their height. Men's looks r never openly discussed. Men's grooming habits r also not discussed and are discouraged, many men is small cities and rural areas, face criticism for caring too much about their looks. Caring about appearance is considered a woman's concern.
Caste and religion also play a massive role. India has a strong community system. Although times r gradually changing, dating outside your caste or creed is considered unacceptable in many parts of India. Skin colour is also a major factor. Color discrimination remains active in northern India despite efforts and fair skin is preferred over dark skin, in both men and women. Although tanned men are more acceptable than tanned or sunlit women. Dark skin is acceptable in South India.
Generally, men of Punjab and Haryana are considered the hottest as they have better genetics. They are usually taller, stockier, protective, and have proud and jovial attitudes (for reference, I personally compare them to Baratheons from ASOIAF). Indian men usually consider any urban chicks hotter than rural ones, because urban chicks r considered more open and put more effort in their appearance with makeup.
Since the average male height in India is 5’5 to 5’6, a 6’0 Indian dude is the equivalent of a 6’3 American Chad archetype. Even being 5’9 or above, is considered good height if u look good enough. Anything over 6’2 becomes an overkill as such tall people aren't represented in India. In the west, hollywood actors, models, and athletes r very tall. Whereas average Bollywood or cricket hot guys aren't usually over 6’0. In states like Punjab and Haryana, where people r taller, being 6’3 or above may be a good thing. Since metro cities follow western trends, demand for really tall men is increasing.
Indian young men is getting influenced by Western dating coaches, and ideologies like red pill and black pill, and influencers like Andrew Tate and Hamza. Some guys develop insecurity for not being 6’5 (for example), even though that's not the norm in India, and western dynamics don't translate well in India, as previously mentioned.
Certain urban or fancy cities act as temporary hubs to escape restrictive society for people of smaller cities or rural areas. For example, Chandigarh, the union territory of Punjab and Haryana, is frequented by small city and rural residents of neighbouring Punjab, Haryana, and even Himachal Pradesh, on weekends. Conservative reality resets once they exit Chandigarh.
If someone’s college life is over and the people of opposite gender are not around them, a precious option to finally get attention from and eventually date the opposite gender becomes joining an IELTS coaching center or a government job preparation coaching centre. Many Indians are willing to move abroad and struggle just to escape restrictive Indian society and hopefully date someone. Many Indians moving to Canada have this thought at the back of their minds but it doesnt become part of public discussion.
Ending note:
Continuous westernisation is gradually changing things. More and more small city Indians are adopting modern attitudes. They are likely to change more in the future. This passage explains the ways things currently stand, as per my observation.
