Super Gooner
Masturbator
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2024
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There’s a strange emptiness in my days now. It’s not sadness, not really. Sadness has a shape, a weight, a presence. This is something quieter, harder to explain, like I’m just floating through time without a trace. Sometimes, out of nowhere, I’ll feel a sharp pain of something: anger, regret, maybe even hope, but it fades so quickly, I’m left wondering if I felt it at all. I don’t know if this is normal. I don’t know if I’m normal. Am I supposed to feel this way, or is there something wrong with me?
I think the worst part of loneliness is how quiet it is. It’s not the loud kind, where you cry or scream. It’s the kind that sneaks in when you’re sitting alone at night, staring at a wall, and realizing you’ve been in the same spot for hours. I had a taste of something better once—something warm and full of meaning, but now it’s gone, and all that’s left is the question: will I ever feel that again? Or is this all there is?
I want to believe things will change, that this emptiness will fade or fill itself with something new. But I don’t. Not really. It’s easier to just accept it, to let it sit there in the corner of my life like an old piece of furniture I don’t know how to move. I don’t even know if I want it to change anymore. Maybe this is just who I am now. And maybe I don’t care.
