yourawesomesauce67
infraorbidal
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2026
- Posts
- 430
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- 572
I don’t think I’ve ever had a summer where i was actually happy, ever since I was like 9 I’ve felt such loneliness that never goes away.I was never a social kid, I would be afraid to speak at times, I sat by myself in this little cubby in elementary school because I was afraid of being ridiculed by other kids.Even in middle school I would sit at the very end of the table during lunch to avoid talking to people because I was afraid.
I always had this irrational fear of not being able to fit in and I feel like it affected me growing up.I had no friends growing up either, my parents were separated and my father wanted nothing to do with me and my mom had to work multiple jobs to pay bills so I lived with my grandparents.As much as I appreciate them, I feel like I got fucked over.They fed me so much slop to the point to where when I was in middle school I weighed like 190LB in 6th grade year and it made everything worse.I couldn’t isolate from people because I got picked on constantly , all the girls would laugh at me when my name was even brought up in class. Ever since then I’ve lost weight and I look better but I still feel alone.I still have that feeling where I just wanted someone to talk to and be friends with?Even now I feel like I don’t have any friends.Im that one floater friend that everyone has, i try to be social, I try to talk to connect with people positively as much possible but no “real friends.”I don’t have any social media streaks, my supposed “friends” in school have left me on delivered for weeks and some haven’t texted me in months.None even wished me happy birthday JFL.
I still feel this sense of solitude,and it’s been lingering for years, ever since I was 9.
This feels so cringy to write I already know everyone is just gonna DNR and tell me to kill myself
Anyone else relate?
I always had this irrational fear of not being able to fit in and I feel like it affected me growing up.I had no friends growing up either, my parents were separated and my father wanted nothing to do with me and my mom had to work multiple jobs to pay bills so I lived with my grandparents.As much as I appreciate them, I feel like I got fucked over.They fed me so much slop to the point to where when I was in middle school I weighed like 190LB in 6th grade year and it made everything worse.I couldn’t isolate from people because I got picked on constantly , all the girls would laugh at me when my name was even brought up in class. Ever since then I’ve lost weight and I look better but I still feel alone.I still have that feeling where I just wanted someone to talk to and be friends with?Even now I feel like I don’t have any friends.Im that one floater friend that everyone has, i try to be social, I try to talk to connect with people positively as much possible but no “real friends.”I don’t have any social media streaks, my supposed “friends” in school have left me on delivered for weeks and some haven’t texted me in months.None even wished me happy birthday JFL.
I still feel this sense of solitude,and it’s been lingering for years, ever since I was 9.
This feels so cringy to write I already know everyone is just gonna DNR and tell me to kill myself
Anyone else relate?
