134applesauce456
Luminary
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- Jun 23, 2023
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Being born is a tragedy. You just don't realize it because you were trained to believe that living is a privilege. You never asked to be here. No one did. One day, two adults, confused, tired, or simply following the script, decided that creating another life sounded like a good idea. And many times, that idea didn't even exist. Many people weren't planned. They were simply the result of pleasure, of a moment, of instinct. That's how you appeared. Not because the world needed you, but because two people wanted to feel good for a few minutes.
Without asking you anything, they threw you into a world that is violent, unfair, unpredictable, and today you're expected to smile, call this a miracle, and one day do the same thing to someone equally innocent. But what if everything you learned is wrong? What if bringing someone into the world is not an act of love, but a disguised act of brutality?
There is nothing more manipulative than the romanticization of life. You are born, you cry, you learn how to walk, you go to school, you get bullied, you learn the world is unfair, you work, you get sick, you bury the people you love, and then society still tells you, "Have a child. That will give your life meaning." And so the cycle continues, not because people are evil, but because no one has the courage to admit the truth. Birth isn't a blessing, it's a sentence.
That sounds shocking but the South African philosopher David Benitar says the greatest gift you can give someone is simply to never bring them into existence. In his book better never to have been he argues that suffering is guaranteed while pleasure is optional. Someone who never existed doesn't miss life. Only those who exist feel pain.
You need to ask yourself honestly, do you really want children or are you just trying to fill a void you don't understand? Are you trying to fix your childhood inside another person? The truth is painful. Many people have children out of fear of loneliness, out of boredom, out of pressure from others, and later regret it, but can't say a word because saying, "I regret having a child," instantly makes you a monster.
Without asking you anything, they threw you into a world that is violent, unfair, unpredictable, and today you're expected to smile, call this a miracle, and one day do the same thing to someone equally innocent. But what if everything you learned is wrong? What if bringing someone into the world is not an act of love, but a disguised act of brutality?
There is nothing more manipulative than the romanticization of life. You are born, you cry, you learn how to walk, you go to school, you get bullied, you learn the world is unfair, you work, you get sick, you bury the people you love, and then society still tells you, "Have a child. That will give your life meaning." And so the cycle continues, not because people are evil, but because no one has the courage to admit the truth. Birth isn't a blessing, it's a sentence.
That sounds shocking but the South African philosopher David Benitar says the greatest gift you can give someone is simply to never bring them into existence. In his book better never to have been he argues that suffering is guaranteed while pleasure is optional. Someone who never existed doesn't miss life. Only those who exist feel pain.
You need to ask yourself honestly, do you really want children or are you just trying to fill a void you don't understand? Are you trying to fix your childhood inside another person? The truth is painful. Many people have children out of fear of loneliness, out of boredom, out of pressure from others, and later regret it, but can't say a word because saying, "I regret having a child," instantly makes you a monster.

