trashbinxoxo
you only had one chance
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2025
- Posts
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im not even talking about "i had people to hang out w but they weren't my true friends!
" babble.
i mean genuinely ZERO friends whatsoever.
for example me, the only time i had friends was when i was in 3rd to 4th grade (ages 8-10 for non americans) and they were some weird anime obsessed fat kids.
all throughout middle school and high school i had nobody at all. nobody would talk to me, nobody knew me, like i wasnt even there.
teachers had to be reminded who i was and they would ask what my name is. whenever it was time to get into groups for certain projects and activities, nobody chose me and i would either work alone or be forced into a group by a teacher. the rest of the niggas in my class werent happy about it either.
i still remember this one time in 6th grade math, the only other person who didnt have a partner was this girl who was kinda popular, she literally said "come onnn, do i reeeally have to work with hiimmm?" acting like it was the worst thing that ever happened to her.
mind you, i wasnt too weird, only a little bit still going through phases and stuff. i was quiet, minding my business, staying out of trouble.
high school was even worse. the only times i was in person was freshman year and a little bit of junior year. the rest of the time i had either dropped out for a while because my mental health was terrible, or i was doing school online instead which is what ive been doing this year.
anyway in junior year (16 years old) i was still hella depressed but my mental was starting to get a little better. i decided to start going to school again after not being there for about a year. (dropped out november 2022, started again november 2023) i was actually starting to try again, getting my grades up, taking extra classes after school to get my credits back since i missed an entire year, and was trying to be more social. did not work at all. home life was terrible, i was always stressed out and sick all the time. despite all my efforts everything started going terrible again. my grades all dropped, whenever i tried talking to girls, i knew they were grossed out by me. i didnt smell bad or anything, i was just ugly. whenever i talked to other guys i would be ignored and they treated me like i was some retard.
every day i spent alone, i would not talk for so damn long my voice cracked every time i had to speak. it was humilating every time. i couldnt take the stress of my life anymore and dropped out again until i started doing online work.
my daily schedule back then was
wake up at 0:500
prepare for another day by staring at a wall.
walk to the bus stop
ride the bus in silence, (nobody would sit by me unless there was no more room)
get to school and do my classes
skip lunch
do my extra classes after school
take the bus home again
rot and do nothing after i got home
repeat.
" babble.i mean genuinely ZERO friends whatsoever.
for example me, the only time i had friends was when i was in 3rd to 4th grade (ages 8-10 for non americans) and they were some weird anime obsessed fat kids.
all throughout middle school and high school i had nobody at all. nobody would talk to me, nobody knew me, like i wasnt even there.
teachers had to be reminded who i was and they would ask what my name is. whenever it was time to get into groups for certain projects and activities, nobody chose me and i would either work alone or be forced into a group by a teacher. the rest of the niggas in my class werent happy about it either.
i still remember this one time in 6th grade math, the only other person who didnt have a partner was this girl who was kinda popular, she literally said "come onnn, do i reeeally have to work with hiimmm?" acting like it was the worst thing that ever happened to her.
mind you, i wasnt too weird, only a little bit still going through phases and stuff. i was quiet, minding my business, staying out of trouble.
high school was even worse. the only times i was in person was freshman year and a little bit of junior year. the rest of the time i had either dropped out for a while because my mental health was terrible, or i was doing school online instead which is what ive been doing this year.
anyway in junior year (16 years old) i was still hella depressed but my mental was starting to get a little better. i decided to start going to school again after not being there for about a year. (dropped out november 2022, started again november 2023) i was actually starting to try again, getting my grades up, taking extra classes after school to get my credits back since i missed an entire year, and was trying to be more social. did not work at all. home life was terrible, i was always stressed out and sick all the time. despite all my efforts everything started going terrible again. my grades all dropped, whenever i tried talking to girls, i knew they were grossed out by me. i didnt smell bad or anything, i was just ugly. whenever i talked to other guys i would be ignored and they treated me like i was some retard.
every day i spent alone, i would not talk for so damn long my voice cracked every time i had to speak. it was humilating every time. i couldnt take the stress of my life anymore and dropped out again until i started doing online work.
my daily schedule back then was
wake up at 0:500
prepare for another day by staring at a wall.
walk to the bus stop
ride the bus in silence, (nobody would sit by me unless there was no more room)
get to school and do my classes
skip lunch
do my extra classes after school
take the bus home again
rot and do nothing after i got home
repeat.
