Anyone have Shitty Relationship with Dad

[BobDaDa]

Just venting and looking for anyone that relates. I have no one to talk to this about. Havent spoken to my dad or seen him in 2 months, he tries to reach out but I don't feel much for him as a person due to how he was early age, never was present for my life besides sitting on the coach watching tv lifelessly until the divorce. Never truly gave me advice like a father would. We never really had conversations as i would avoid him from 9 to teenage years. Constant arguing, berading me for not living up to his standards, and his ego causing him to truly never apologize or think he is in the wrong to this day. Due to his life being shit, it was insufferable being around him after divorce so i only lived with mom. He has talked shit to me to family members and lied to me about my situation which is when i cut ties him completely. The only thing that makes me feel is the fact that I never had the experience of a father son relationship and what that looks like/feels like. Was honestly looking for yalls opinion and to just vent.

 

[Deleted member 22511]

Kind of. I wouldn't go as far to say that I didn't have a "father son relationship" with him, he's given me plenty of advice, done nice things for and with me, and generally seemed to care for me for the most part. He aslo definitely shaped a lot of my world view and approach to live, probably much more so than my mother (despite the fact I was a lot closer with her). It's just that he's a very unpleasant, neurotic person.
He'd throw temper tantrums over the most trivial things, so you were always walking on eggshells around him. He'd always mock and deride me, which would be fine, if he didn't flip out and scream at me if I clapped back in any way. It made talking to him an exhausting humiliation ritual. I was scared of him most of the time throughout my early childhood. As a teenager I was no longer scared, just tired of his bullshit. Today, I neither hate nor love him. Just kind of accept things for how they are. He's been dealing with chronic pain for as long as I've lived, so I can't really blame him for his frustration and anger.

 

[BobDaDa]

Kind of. I wouldn't go as far to say that I didn't have a "father son relationship" with him, he's given me plenty of advice, done nice things for and with me, and generally seemed to care for me for the most part. He aslo definitely shaped a lot of my world view and approach to live, probably much more so than my mother (despite the fact I was a lot closer with her). It's just that he's a very unpleasant, neurotic person.
He'd throw temper tantrums over the most trivial things, so you were always walking on eggshells around him. He'd always mock and deride me, which would be fine, if he didn't flip out and scream at me if I clapped back in any way. It made talking to him an exhausting humiliation ritual. I was scared of him most of the time throughout my early childhood. As a teenager I was no longer scared, just tired of his bullshit. Today, I neither hate nor love him. Just kind of accept things for how they are. He's been dealing with chronic pain for as long as I've lived, so I can't really blame him for his frustration and anger.
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do you talk to him?

 

[IronMike]

No, my dad is one of my best friends, I come from a nuclear upper middle class family, so I don't deal with unfortunate birth circumstances caused by a whore mother.

 

[888mastermind]

I feel you

 

[BobDaDa]

No, my dad is one of my best friends, I come from a nuclear upper middle class family, so I don't deal with unfortunate birth circumstances caused by a whore mother.

You're ignorant bro

 

[abzz!]

Kind of. I wouldn't go as far to say that I didn't have a "father son relationship" with him, he's given me plenty of advice, done nice things for and with me, and generally seemed to care for me for the most part. He aslo definitely shaped a lot of my world view and approach to live, probably much more so than my mother (despite the fact I was a lot closer with her). It's just that he's a very unpleasant, neurotic person.
He'd throw temper tantrums over the most trivial things, so you were always walking on eggshells around him. He'd always mock and deride me, which would be fine, if he didn't flip out and scream at me if I clapped back in any way. It made talking to him an exhausting humiliation ritual. I was scared of him most of the time throughout my early childhood. As a teenager I was no longer scared, just tired of his bullshit. Today, I neither hate nor love him. Just kind of accept things for how they are. He's been dealing with chronic pain for as long as I've lived, so I can't really blame him for his frustration and anger.
View attachment 4651083

most relatable thing ive seen all day

obv you respect him bcs you were in his balls and he taught you many things in life

he's the structure of the household, the moral basis

but the ego and anger issues make it weird

it's hard man but who cares lol

 

[IDontBlameAnybody]

I didn't spend much time with my father during childhood, he cares a lot about money and business, so he is always driving or doing business with someone, which sucks ig because family should be always first. I've had good convos with him though on the couch, and he always sends me money for food etc.

He has told me before that money and business should be the #1 thing in a man's mind, but I disagree, I think it's family. Either way I love him and all my other family members. Now as he is older we talk more and spend more time together.

Though he always told me that I should grind very hard and never give up on anything I do.