Psocho
There’ll be nothing but beauty
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I will have a listen to this as a bedtime story
thank you!
thank you!
[ARCHIVE] Craziest Night of My Life so far (Partying for 24h+ straight, "Platinum-ing" the Strip Club, and a Lot of other Crazy Shit) + TTS AUDIO
Sadist
wake up, pin some test, then I– slay..
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the tts is turbo cagefuel tbh, have fun trying to fall asleep to that without laughing your ass off
imontheloose
h
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StyIix
S̴̱̪͈͈̻͓̪̭̣̫͎͖̤̤̄͛̆̅͊̀͊̚̕͝͝͝ . From I.G.F.S. Crew
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Disclaimer: all events described in this thread were done on a modded GTAV RP server, and any media attached is AI-generated for better interprotation by the reader.
I was laying off writing this shit for a LONG while, as there's just so fucking much information. ADHDcels, this will be a long ass fucking read. This thread involves nothing but pure degeneracy. But fortunately, it's the actually fun type of degeneracy. Words cannot convey all the emotions one would’ve been going through if one were to experience all these events for oneself, but I tried my best to at least somehow tell thins story, so that said emotions are as conveyable, as they can possibly be over text. So, without further ado, let's get right into this shit.
AI TL;DR + TTS at the end, but I HEAVILY suggest you read the whole story if you've got time, as it's most definitely fucking worth it.
Prelude
(22/08/2025)
Chapter song (don't question it, you'll get why I went with these choices later on):
Things actually hit off 2 days prior to the main story. We were in Warsaw and it was my mate's birthday, which we've decided to mark at a Georgian restaurant. And as always, everything was pretty standard all the way up until everyone started backing shots of Grey(cel) Goose. Soon enough, we were pretty fucked, and just happened to realize that the songs the place was playing were customer-requested. So you already know, me and my mate went up to the DJ and got that nigga to play Love Sosa. Keep in mind, the whole place was full of bald Ukrainian businesmaxed uncs. However, they were fucking with it heavy. So we kept getting lit and drinking more.
Recalling the story later on, I was actually told that I was the one to get the DJ to request Sicko Mode later on. When I say that shit was fucking insane, I am not giving you an understatement at fucking all. However, that goes for the entirety of the story
One of the bald unclites nicked another one of those Daft Punk helmets spead the crowd out a bit and started breakdancing, then proceeded to do a fucking sidewars handstand, or whatever the fuck it was called (at which everybody obviously went crazy, as everybody was very fucking drunk
(you could see how the foids are fucking astonished at that shit (as well as everyone else but they were behind the camera), but also how the niggas at the other table are NOT having any of this
And here are these niggas (my mate who had his birthday + the bald unc):
After this entire ordeal, one of our mates bumped into some of his boys, and we got to know one another, so after a little convo, we all set out. And where do you think a group of shitfaced Ukrainians set out to? That's ryte - the fucking strip club.
Now this was my second ever strip visit. During the first one, my drunk schizo ass decided it was a good idea to larp Brit, even though all strippers were either from Ukraine or Belarus; my boys were talking to me in Russian (which I reciprocated to in English half the time, but because I understood what the fuck they were saying to begin with - it was bait as fuck), AND I didn't notice how my fucking necklace got out from under my shirt, which Ukraine's coat of arms as the pendant. Not only that, but I was high inhib as fuck, so of course, the bitches thought I was some fucking incel retard
Anyways, back to this story: we rock up to the place; I'm shitfaced again, but having learned my lesson the last time - I rocked up on some Ukrainian daddy shit, which actually gave me a fuck ton of aura. The hoes were fully catching my vibe (inb4 "they are fucking psychologists, their literal job is to entertain the clients in any way possible" - even then, the first visit I was so fucking ND, it was visibly obvious that the hoes who were tryna talk to me were NOT digging the conversation one bit. Not only that, but it's also the fact that the strip club tends to be filled with subhuman >20%bf incels who not a single woman not trying to benefit with some sort of materialistic shit from, would touch with even a 10-foot pole. So imagine all these young ass sluts (18-22yo, but primarily closer to 18. Fucking crazy, I know) seeing a low inhib mogger step in (they all remembered my ass and expected me to be a fucking retard just like the last time, but still evidently had at least a smitherine of hope left for me solely based off my looks and height), except this time said low inhib mogger is actually low inhib and hella NT (and fucking speaks their native languages instead of English in the strongest Yorkshire accent they would've heard in their lives). Their pussies were unironically flooded over me (inb4 cope, I'll tell you later on in the story how I know that this was indeed the case), plus I was way more NT in Russian that I would've ever expected, as I'm very much used to spitting game only in English. As a matter of fact, I think I have even better game in Russian/Ukrainian, now that I think about it
At that point, I was fucking twattered - and barely remember anything that happened after said point. However, here are some things my mates recall:
- As soon as we came in with the admin tryna see which seat she can allocate for us - I completely ignored all of them, dropped down onto some hoes' seat and started smoking their hookah
- Tweaked out about losing my credit card, which I was looking for in the bathroom by frantically going through my card holder, which some random confused ass jit noticed and mistook me doing all that for something else - so he proceeded to ask us "yooo u niggas whipping out some coke out that bag or what?" (the card was in there the entire time)
And the most important of it all:
The strip club is always an absolute fucking rinsefest. They take any opportunity whatsoever to get as much money from the drunk ass niggas that rock up, as possible. And prior to going in there, my mate had sent me some USDT over Binance, so that I can cover him, as all the P2Pers were asleep at the time, and he had no way of selling off his crypto for the occasion.
So with all of that in mind, I got hella fucking confused on where the fuck all my money went - and started tweaking the FUCK out. I kept asking said mate about where the fuck my money was and shit, and as we ended up going outside for a smoke - I completely lost my mind, started speaking gibberish about all of this shit, and it got to the point where my ass was borderline crying JFL. So, he decided that enough was enough, and grabbed an Uber for the two of us to go back to the crib (I was staying at his place throughout the whole trip).
In the morning, I checked my Binance and realized that all the money I was missing was actually in there, which I cringed hard at. And do keep in mind, that I did start tweaking over this inside the lounge, with one of the niggas (there were four of us) having m,et me for the very first time in his life - so it was far from the best first impression). Despite all the schizo bullshit at the end, it still was not sufficient to overshadow all the fun we had prior, so I call that night a success.
And thus, the prelude concludes.
The Main Story
(24/08/2025-25/08/2025)
Chapter Song:
It is Ukraine's independence day (big up Ukraine lad). The same guy from the previous group (let's call him E), who we met for the first time, invited me and the same homeboy I was staying with (let's call him K) to a Ukrainian cider pub on one of Warsaw's high streets. So we pulled up, drank a few pints with another homie of his (who was also present at the birthday party, but who was also a bystander, as him and E were the mutuals that my mate had bumped into that night, call him D), got a little tipsy (good ass cider not gonna fucking cap) and decided to go get some pizza.
So we walked about a mile to this insane pizza place, ate and were chilling on the outside seating area, pondering on what the plan would happen to be from that point onwards. E and D both have decided to call up one of their boys each, both with a whip, to pull up to a Czech pub, which we would be waiting for them at, to further assess what the plan for that night would be. I let a few pints of this interesting ass blonde/dark beer mix through, and said homeboys pulled up. One of them we'll call V, and the other I don't even remember the name of, so for authenticity's sake, we will just call him "random nigga". Said random nigga pulled up with his girl.
We chilled for a bit, and after a decent bit of brainstorming, decided to hit a casino. So me and D hopped into Random nigga's beamer, whilst K and E jumped into V's e-class. As we were waiting for a traffic light, Random nigga asked us if we mind him speeding, to which I said that I don't give a shit, and as the lights turned green, this nigga hit a 0-100 in what felt like >3s, and soon enough, we were zooming at about 150kmh through night Warsaw, which was fucking nice.
The Casino
At the casino, all of us withdrew 200PLN (about 50 bucks), ran that shit thru slots and ate shit (never run IRL slots, that shit is fucking whack). After that (about 1.5h in), Random nigga, his girl and D decided that it was time for them to cut, so it was just me, K, E and V left. I decided to withdraw another 200PLN, and K offered to run blackjack for my cash (as I had no clue on how to play that shit back then) and slide me back all the winnings.
And I shit you not, about 40min later, just hear what went down from his own words: "you owe me a bottle of vodka after this; this is the craziest fucking win streak I've ever hit, I wish I were winning this fucking much with my own money".
Not only did I win my lost 200 back, but I had about 200 more on top of that.
And keep in mind, E and V were also winning hella.
So after that triumphal gambling session, we decided to grab ourselves a snack at McDonald's, where we, driven by the insane dopamine kick that just hit us like a fucking semi, discussed our further move for the rest of the night (about 1-2am at that point).
And my genius ass thought of nothing better than to hit the strip club AGAIN (I genuinely found that place funny as fuck while drunk, so it seemed like a very sensible entertainment source).
And these niggas? They were all for it.
The Strip Club
No chapter song for this one, as there will be song examples below, for context.
We jump into V's merc and drive up to the spot. An important thing to point out is that this was V's first strip club trip ever.
Things kicked off as per usual. Since the last visit was a great success, all the whores were very glad to see me again. At first though, this one new 18 year-old foid came up to me, we started talking, and she turned out to be a total weirdo. I wasn't that interested in talking to her, so I proceeded to drink, as I directed her to chat to K. As I tapped back into the convo, I shit you not, K was teaching her how to commit fucking tax evasion
Just then, two other sluts rocked up, sat down on my lap, and we started talking. One of them was another 18 year-old, except this time, this one was actually fucking cool. Bad bitch, great convos, great privates, and of course, a whole load of making out (again, not proud of it one bit, but same reasoning as above applies). One of the privates, she gave me as Big Shot Cream Soda by $uicideboy$ was blasting, which I instantly recognized, and was absolutely fucking vibing to. Shit was such a vibe, that the only way to fully feel it would be for you to experience this shit yourself (water, but that's how fucking insane it was, and keep in mind that I only hit the strip with the boys out of pure boredom, solely for entertainment, but this shit actually "moved" me
Another sond she danced for me to was Стрип Клаб (which ironically translates to Strip Club in English) by Пошлая Молли (a Ukrainian Post-Punk band, that purposefully makes their songs sound trashy, but is sick to listen to once it grows onto you. Me and her were actually both big fans of this band; she had a lot of tats on her body, and one of them was actually the logo of this band, which was pretty sick).
Now, the way I could tell that these sluts were wet as fuck for me, was the fact that whilst this bitch was rubbing on my body and moaning (completely unprompted by the way), I physically felt the fucking waterfall down there with my arm, as I decided to check her pussy for that exact reason at some point. There's another cagefuel reason which points towards that, but which I will briefly talk about later on.
Anyways, after a few hours, K, being that strip club's veteran, decided to ask the waitress (some hot chick in (obviously) skimpy ass outfit (yet still not half naked unlike the rest of the strippers, important for later)), to lead us to the karaoke room, so we can get lit in there. We also had the best hookah of our lives shortly before going to said karaoke room (keep in mind me and this nigga have been hookah enthusiasts since at the very least 2020, and the fact that some strip club hookah happened to be the best one is fucking crazy).
So we were singing a bunch of lit ass songs; we all sang Нон-Стоп by the aforementioned band all together, and me and this bitch (she was still on my lap JFL) sang the following song (yet again by the same band) together, which also hit the fucking spot for me, as I absolutely love said song:
After a little bit, K, instead of continuing to sing, decided to become the host. So from then on - he was announcing the songs, making funny comments, etc., which was pretty fucking hilarious. Then, another group of Ukrainian niggas rocked up and wanted to also use the karaoke room. So K gathered them, alongside the waitress, and suggested we all head to the main hall and karaokemax there all together.
Just prior to that point, I started to get tired as fuck, pretty much falling asleep and getting a bit bored. I even started DNRing the stripper, after which she proceeded to dip and go on to serve other customers, which was fine by me, as I just wanted to sleep tbh.
So we were at the main hall. At first, I was still passing out from all the alcohol and insomnia. Speaking of which, I checked the time and at that point, it was about 7am LMFAO. But after a bit, I partially recovered. Some other stripped offered me a private dance, and my dumb ass agreed, as I had a free private token left. I greatly regret that, as I could've kept that token as a sick ass souvenir, but oh well nigga).
Afterwards, I jumped onto a seat with my boys. And at that point, absolutely unhinged shit proceeded to take place.
First of all, the club was due to close a few hours back. However, we requested an extension, and I shit you not, E, the absolute fucking freak, dropped about $2000 so that said extension takes place.
K was still playing the role of the host, so he was posted up with a mic at the DJ booth alongside the actual DJ. At some point, the DJ tells him "yo bro wanna see something funny?" to which, K goes "of course brah". And keep in mind that since we were at the main hall, strippers were now also pole-dancing as we were singing our shit.
So this DJ nigga proceeded to play fucking Blue Tractor out of all songs, which is kinda like the equivalent of Baby Shark for the Russian speakers, except it's a pretty different genre. As the song starts playing, that one schizo 18yo foid from the beginning runs out the changing room naked, absolutely screaming proceeds to jump on the pole and starts dancing to that fucking song with the most passion she's probaby ever experienced in her lifetime
For context, this is the song:
And just as we were in absolute fucking shock from what just happened, and were trying to process this shit whilst trying to simultaneously recover mentally, that one waitress rocks up to K and goes "do u want me to show u a cool trick?" (or something along those lines, as even K himself can barely recall whatever the fuck she said to him), to which, he obviously goes "duh nigga".
So this bitch (once again as said above - not a stripper), whispers something to the DJ, who then proceeds to play Sigma Boy, to which she then proceeds to run up to the pole and absolutely POP THE FUCK OFF on, crazier than even some of the strippers (which, keep in mind, she is not even supposed to do to begin with)
Song for context:
Shit left us even more astonished than from the previous incident; I don't even have the words for the emotions that we experienced at that moment, other than the fact that it was obviously tera turbo cagefuel. Some of the funniest, most random bullshit I've seen in a LONG fucking while. And keep in mind that all the other songs besides these two were proper songs that we would actually sing along to and the girls would usually pole dance to.
As the extension came to an end, it was 8 fucking AM. OTHER NIGGAS WERE LITERALLY GOING TO THEIR JOBS WHILE WE WERE GETTING UP TO ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT
The Aftermath
Chapter song (not the best for reading, but does set the mood for how it was there and then ngl):
The Bum from Kazakhstan
As we left the strip club, we decided to take a breather and sit just outside the place, as some place adjacent to it had an outside terrace that they don't deconstruct overnight. I had a whole fucking bottle of Jameson in my Chrome hoodie pocket, that I bought for way too fucking much. I also had that stripper's pussy juice stains all over the bottom bit of said Chrome JFL (was gonna include pics but it's kinda whack so I decided not to
We were all absolutely fucking gone plus knackered. But what we just witnessed had woken us up so abruptly, that we had nothing left to do but chill there and discuss exactly what the fuck we just witnessed (I know it may sound like an exaggeration, but trust me, if you were go through all of that shit yourself - by the end of it, you would be left fucking speechless as well. E said "yo guys lets chill here and camp for those foids so we can pick them up and take them home with us", to which we were kind of reluctant, as it was kinda water for us that there are cameras outside pointing into our mugs, and that the strip club does not allow its girls to fuck with their customers. But as I said, we decided to chill there for a bit more anyways for the aforementioned reason.
Shortly after, some homeless nigga from Kazakhstan was walking buy, and as we were talking amongst each other, he started tryna say something to us. So K prefired and went "fancy a cig mate?" to which the bum said "nah i want a drink". And since we weren't intending on drinking any more whatsoever, I whipped out the bottle of Jameson, and we offer him to take a swig of this shit. However, we said that he would need to get himself a glass or some shit first. So this nigga goes "bet", and not even 5min later, comes back with a big ass plastic cup, at which we caged pretty hard. So K asks him "how much do u want? 50? 100?" - blud goes "150". So we were like "aight you mad fucker" and poured him up about 150ml of that shit, which he proceeded to down, then bent over for a little bit, as if he was feeling pretty fucking sick and was about to puke - but after a few moments - this nigga gets the fuck up, presents himself with hands open to the sides and shit, as if he just finished some sort of talent show performance, and exclaims "professional alcoholic, fuck you talm bout!".
So at that point, we told him to grab a chair and tap in on the convo, as we deemed him chill as fuck. Keep in mind dude was at the very least in his 50s. So we started talking about shit like politics, the state of the world, and all the usual bullshit drunk niggas tend to blabber about. At some point, he was telling us about his upbringing back in the soviet Kazakhstan, how his village was located very fucking close to the Baikonur launch site (like biggest site in the entirety of the USSR btw), how there would be about 3 launches a week and on average only one of them wouldnt fucking explode, and how when they were to explode, they'd feel extreme winds on day 1, and would get absolutely fucking rained on with heptyl (rocket fuel LMFAO) the following days.
As we finished our convo with the guy and decided to move, he went "oh by the way, if you were trying to camp outside for the girls - they dipped ages ago thru the rear entrance"Bumping Into the Strippers
That shit greatly disappointed E, however I expected this to be the case anyways, so I just caged at this (also fuck mashing strippers/prossies, that's fucking retarded and I wasn't gonna do it either way). But we decided to try going round the back to see if we could perhaps catch them leaving. And surprisingly, the timing couldn't be more perfect, as we actually caught the two strippers we were with (one of them was the one I was with, but which I later on passed to E, as I was trying to get some peace of mind whilst passing out), alongside some other bitch that was also with one of the boys (presumably V). We talked for a little, but let them go at the end, as the strip club's no-contact outside the club setting policy was pretty fucking serious.
As we made our way to the high street, we saw that said high street is always patrolled by the feds, and I just happened to clock that me carrying an open 1L bottle of whiskey was far from the smartest idea in that situation, a bit too late, so the cops started slowly but surely tailing us. Me and K were up front, as V and E were lagging behind ever so slightly, having their own chats. K goes "yo bro i think the cops are on our asses" to which, I didn't even have enough time to say the intended "nahh bro", because as I briefly turned around to check up on the other two - E was already having a conversation with 2 Polish policemen.
So we all came up and asked about what the issue was. They said that this street gets pretty fucking crazy, and that they are just checking peoples' documents (one of them straight up told me that they were farming stats JFL). They asked me for my passport, but I said I don't have any, so they just let it slide lol. The other three, they would look at their passports, call up some nigga on the database, and compare their details. However, K had some issues with his documents at the time, and coincidentally, the cops were taking a bit too long whilst checking his shit. You should've seen that nigga's face
They also said that they stopped os to begin with because E was looking like a drug dealer (c tracksuit, sleeveless puffer, messenger bag, very short hair (borderline buzz), etc.), and when we asked if he was the only one who looked like a plug - they said "yeah lol", at which we also all caged hard. The cops were overall very chill and we were just cracking some jokes for a little bit, before they let us go.
After the whole fed ordeal, we decided to go get ourselves some morning Rosół to try and recover from all that shit. So we went to this traditional Polish cafe to do just that.
Near the entrance, there was some ethnic bum ass nigga trying to mumble some shit to us (he was visibly VERY fucked up on something). We DNRd him and went in to make the order, but he followed us through and kept mumbling some shit, so after a bit of telling him to chill out and shit, I, in Polish, told him something along the lines of "no proszę ziomek, spierdalaj" which means something like "dude, please fuck off". So upon hearing that, he got all amped up, and actually managed to pronounce his first comprehensive word so far, that word being "chuj", meaning dick
Anyways, after that - we had our well-deserved soups, and set out to try and get back home, at which point, V decided to cut.
The Way Back
As we started to make our way back, E realized that he had an arbitrage trader group call from his company scheduled in like 15 minutes. Both mine and K's phones were dead by the way.
So we decided to go into a kebab shop, so he takes a seat and runs the call. Whilst he was doing that, me and K got ourselves some beer to try and pull the hair of the dog. I also took a shit like 5 times in that time period
After he was done with that, E was about to call up an Uber for all of us, but saw a bus pull up, so without saying anything in advance, he jumped in and told us to do the same. So we did, and we rode fuck knows where amongst Polish commuters trying to get to work in the morning. I already know that the absolute fumes of death and despair that our breaths were giving off from the ungodly amounts of alcohol we drank probably intoxicated like half the bus. Poor bastards.
Anyways, E goes "aight. if the bus turns right on this intersection - this is the right bus. If it goes straight - we are fucked". It went straight
So, we hopped off at the nearest stop and finally got the fuckass Uber to get to our other mates that were waiting for us, who were all worried as fuck because they probably thought we were fucking dead; just imagine your boys going to meet some people unprompted, in the middle of the week, to only do all this shit afterwards JFL. Anyways, we met at a cafe and discussed everything that happened. Then went to a hookah lounge, I had some Borsch and smoked the hookah whilst borderline passing out, and THEN we were planning to go to a computer club to run a few games of CSGO, but they were still closed, so we didn't.
At that point, we decided to cut as well, and went home to sleep. By the time we went to sleep, it was 14:00. Keep in mind that the previous day, we met E and D at 14:00 as well. That means we were kicking it off for like 24 hours straight. Later on in the day, E even called me up to slide to the sauna with the boys, but I couldn't be arsed to go anywhere after all of that because I was still sleepy as fuck.
The Conclusion
Degenerate shit? Definitely. Would I live through this experience again? Abso-fucking-lutely.
After all of that, I have pretty much Platinum'd the strip club, so I doubt I'm ever gonna visit one again lol (probably). K, as I said, was a strip club veteran, and even he said that he has never seen anything alike, and there is no point for him to go anymore either. As for V, it was literally his first time at a strip club, ever, so imagine what impression he got from that shit
Anyways, this was probably my most eventful 72 hours that ever took place. K tried to record some of the strip club bullshit, but the DJ caught him and told him to delete the vids unfortunately. I myself have recorded quite a bit, mainly from the first night, as well as most of the aftermath (or at least the Kazakh guy from start to finish, as he approached us whilst we were discussing what the fuck just happened, on video) but I won't be sharing that, as it's obviously doxxfuel, and is in Russian, so most of you won't understand shit anyways
AI TL;DR because fuck writing all that myself (but again, if you have some free time, the full read is most definitely worth it):
Two nights. Warsaw. Mate's Birthday/Ukraine's Independence Day respectively. Started with cider and pizza, ended at 8am whilst commuters were heading to their 9-5s.
Night 1 (prelude): mate's birthday at a Georgian restaurant → LOADS of vodka → Love Sosa + Sicko Mode at said Georgian restaurant → opening a mosh pit with bald Ukrainian uncs → one of them pulling breakdance moves and a sideways handstand in a Daft Punk helmet → strip club (second ever visit, rocked up on Ukrainian daddy shit this time and ate) → karaoke lounge → tweaked the absolute fuck out over money that was in my Binance the entire time, borderline crying in front of a nigga I'd met for the first time. Cringed hard in the morning as I clocked that the money was in my crypto the whole time, but fuck it shit was lit anyways.
Night 2 (main event): Ukrainian cider pub → insane pizza → Czech pub → casino → K ran my blackjack and hit the most deranged win streak of his life with my money → McDonald's → strip club AGAIN → based 18yo tatted Пошлая Молли fan, making out, Big Shot Cream Soda private dance, physically confirmed that said foid was in fact dripping → karaoke room → K becomes the host → schizo foid sprints out the changing room BUTT NAKED to pole dance to a Russian children's tractor song → waitress (NOT a stripper) pulls up to the pole and goes absolutely feral to Sigma Boy → we are all left completely speechless and mentally cooked → 8am. E dropped $2k for the extension btw.
Aftermath: chilled outside with a 50-something Kazakhstani bum who downed 150ml of neat Jameson, started looking sick, then straightened up and went "professional alcoholic, fuck you talm bout" → tapped him into the convo, nigga proceeded to tell us about growing up next to Baikonur and getting rained on with rocket fuel on a weekly basis as a kid → Kazakh bum casually snitched that the strippers had dipped thru the rear entrance ages ago whilst we were sitting right outside, at which E was greatly disappointed → went round the back regardless and timed it perfectly, actually caught them leaving, had a brief chat but let them go due to the club's no-contact policy → K nearly shat himself thinking he was getting deported by Polish feds (he wasn't) → cops said E looked like a plug (he did) → some curry bum tried us, old lady dragged his ass out → E ran an arbitrage trading call from a kebab shop whilst me and K drank beer at 9am → wrong bus amongst traumatized Polish commuters → Uber → met the worried boys at a café → hookah → Borsch → passed out at 14:00, exactly 24 hours after we'd set out.
TTS Audio. I also added all the thread music in all the right places as instrumentals, so that it adds to the stortytelling
(low quality for compression + narrator keeps switching accents JFL, and some minor mistakes, but fuck it we ball)
Thank you all for reading this all the way until the end (the ones that actually did that is
Tags:
@Menas @imontheloose @BigBallsLarry @PharmaPhaggot @Daddy's Home
Not a molecule
Sadist
wake up, pin some test, then I– slay..
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What’s the story bhai
Sadist
wake up, pin some test, then I– slay..
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read my nigga read
theres a tldr + an ai audio at the end if u cba to read all of it, u can listen to the audio whilst driving to my endz to chillmax jfl
ToDelirium
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Disclaimer: all events described in this thread were done on a modded GTAV RP server, and any media attached is AI-generated for better interprotation by the reader.
I was laying off writing this shit for a LONG while, as there's just so fucking much information. ADHDcels, this will be a long ass fucking read. This thread involves nothing but pure degeneracy. But fortunately, it's the actually fun type of degeneracy. Words cannot convey all the emotions one would’ve been going through if one were to experience all these events for oneself, but I tried my best to at least somehow tell thins story, so that said emotions are as conveyable, as they can possibly be over text. So, without further ado, let's get right into this shit.
AI TL;DR + TTS at the end, but I HEAVILY suggest you read the whole story if you've got time, as it's most definitely fucking worth it.
Prelude
(22/08/2025)
Chapter song (don't question it, you'll get why I went with these choices later on):
Things actually hit off 2 days prior to the main story. We were in Warsaw and it was my mate's birthday, which we've decided to mark at a Georgian restaurant. And as always, everything was pretty standard all the way up until everyone started backing shots of Grey(cel) Goose. Soon enough, we were pretty fucked, and just happened to realize that the songs the place was playing were customer-requested. So you already know, me and my mate went up to the DJ and got that nigga to play Love Sosa. Keep in mind, the whole place was full of bald Ukrainian businesmaxed uncs. However, they were fucking with it heavy. So we kept getting lit and drinking more.
Recalling the story later on, I was actually told that I was the one to get the DJ to request Sicko Mode later on. When I say that shit was fucking insane, I am not giving you an understatement at fucking all. However, that goes for the entirety of the story
One of the bald unclites nicked another one of those Daft Punk helmets spead the crowd out a bit and started breakdancing, then proceeded to do a fucking sidewars handstand, or whatever the fuck it was called (at which everybody obviously went crazy, as everybody was very fucking drunk
(you could see how the foids are fucking astonished at that shit (as well as everyone else but they were behind the camera), but also how the niggas at the other table are NOT having any of this
And here are these niggas (my mate who had his birthday + the bald unc):
After this entire ordeal, one of our mates bumped into some of his boys, and we got to know one another, so after a little convo, we all set out. And where do you think a group of shitfaced Ukrainians set out to? That's ryte - the fucking strip club.
Now this was my second ever strip visit. During the first one, my drunk schizo ass decided it was a good idea to larp Brit, even though all strippers were either from Ukraine or Belarus; my boys were talking to me in Russian (which I reciprocated to in English half the time, but because I understood what the fuck they were saying to begin with - it was bait as fuck), AND I didn't notice how my fucking necklace got out from under my shirt, which Ukraine's coat of arms as the pendant. Not only that, but I was high inhib as fuck, so of course, the bitches thought I was some fucking incel retard
Anyways, back to this story: we rock up to the place; I'm shitfaced again, but having learned my lesson the last time - I rocked up on some Ukrainian daddy shit, which actually gave me a fuck ton of aura. The hoes were fully catching my vibe (inb4 "they are fucking psychologists, their literal job is to entertain the clients in any way possible" - even then, the first visit I was so fucking ND, it was visibly obvious that the hoes who were tryna talk to me were NOT digging the conversation one bit. Not only that, but it's also the fact that the strip club tends to be filled with subhuman >20%bf incels who not a single woman not trying to benefit with some sort of materialistic shit from, would touch with even a 10-foot pole. So imagine all these young ass sluts (18-22yo, but primarily closer to 18. Fucking crazy, I know) seeing a low inhib mogger step in (they all remembered my ass and expected me to be a fucking retard just like the last time, but still evidently had at least a smitherine of hope left for me solely based off my looks and height), except this time said low inhib mogger is actually low inhib and hella NT (and fucking speaks their native languages instead of English in the strongest Yorkshire accent they would've heard in their lives). Their pussies were unironically flooded over me (inb4 cope, I'll tell you later on in the story how I know that this was indeed the case), plus I was way more NT in Russian that I would've ever expected, as I'm very much used to spitting game only in English. As a matter of fact, I think I have even better game in Russian/Ukrainian, now that I think about it
At that point, I was fucking twattered - and barely remember anything that happened after said point. However, here are some things my mates recall:
- As soon as we came in with the admin tryna see which seat she can allocate for us - I completely ignored all of them, dropped down onto some hoes' seat and started smoking their hookah
- Tweaked out about losing my credit card, which I was looking for in the bathroom by frantically going through my card holder, which some random confused ass jit noticed and mistook me doing all that for something else - so he proceeded to ask us "yooo u niggas whipping out some coke out that bag or what?" (the card was in there the entire time)
And the most important of it all:
The strip club is always an absolute fucking rinsefest. They take any opportunity whatsoever to get as much money from the drunk ass niggas that rock up, as possible. And prior to going in there, my mate had sent me some USDT over Binance, so that I can cover him, as all the P2Pers were asleep at the time, and he had no way of selling off his crypto for the occasion.
So with all of that in mind, I got hella fucking confused on where the fuck all my money went - and started tweaking the FUCK out. I kept asking said mate about where the fuck my money was and shit, and as we ended up going outside for a smoke - I completely lost my mind, started speaking gibberish about all of this shit, and it got to the point where my ass was borderline crying JFL. So, he decided that enough was enough, and grabbed an Uber for the two of us to go back to the crib (I was staying at his place throughout the whole trip).
In the morning, I checked my Binance and realized that all the money I was missing was actually in there, which I cringed hard at. And do keep in mind, that I did start tweaking over this inside the lounge, with one of the niggas (there were four of us) having m,et me for the very first time in his life - so it was far from the best first impression). Despite all the schizo bullshit at the end, it still was not sufficient to overshadow all the fun we had prior, so I call that night a success.
And thus, the prelude concludes.
The Main Story
(24/08/2025-25/08/2025)
Chapter Song:
It is Ukraine's independence day (big up Ukraine lad
So we walked about a mile to this insane pizza place, ate and were chilling on the outside seating area, pondering on what the plan would happen to be from that point onwards. E and D both have decided to call up one of their boys each, both with a whip, to pull up to a Czech pub, which we would be waiting for them at, to further assess what the plan for that night would be. I let a few pints of this interesting ass blonde/dark beer mix through, and said homeboys pulled up. One of them we'll call V, and the other I don't even remember the name of, so for authenticity's sake, we will just call him "random nigga". Said random nigga pulled up with his girl.
We chilled for a bit, and after a decent bit of brainstorming, decided to hit a casino. So me and D hopped into Random nigga's beamer, whilst K and E jumped into V's e-class. As we were waiting for a traffic light, Random nigga asked us if we mind him speeding, to which I said that I don't give a shit, and as the lights turned green, this nigga hit a 0-100 in what felt like >3s, and soon enough, we were zooming at about 150kmh through night Warsaw, which was fucking nice.
At the casino, all of us withdrew 200PLN (about 50 bucks), ran that shit thru slots and ate shit (never run IRL slots, that shit is fucking whack). After that (about 1.5h in), Random nigga, his girl and D decided that it was time for them to cut, so it was just me, K, E and V left. I decided to withdraw another 200PLN, and K offered to run blackjack for my cash (as I had no clue on how to play that shit back then) and slide me back all the winnings.
And I shit you not, about 40min later, just hear what went down from his own words: "you owe me a bottle of vodka after this; this is the craziest fucking win streak I've ever hit, I wish I were winning this fucking much with my own money".
Not only did I win my lost 200 back, but I had about 200 more on top of that.
And keep in mind, E and V were also winning hella.
So after that triumphal gambling session, we decided to grab ourselves a snack at McDonald's, where we, driven by the insane dopamine kick that just hit us like a fucking semi, discussed our further move for the rest of the night (about 1-2am at that point).
And my genius ass thought of nothing better than to hit the strip club AGAIN (I genuinely found that place funny as fuck while drunk, so it seemed like a very sensible entertainment source).
And these niggas? They were all for it.
No chapter song for this one, as there will be song examples below, for context.
We jump into V's merc and drive up to the spot. An important thing to point out is that this was V's first strip club trip ever.
Things kicked off as per usual. Since the last visit was a great success, all the whores were very glad to see me again. At first though, this one new 18 year-old foid came up to me, we started talking, and she turned out to be a total weirdo. I wasn't that interested in talking to her, so I proceeded to drink, as I directed her to chat to K. As I tapped back into the convo, I shit you not, K was teaching her how to commit fucking tax evasion
Just then, two other sluts rocked up, sat down on my lap, and we started talking. One of them was another 18 year-old, except this time, this one was actually fucking cool. Bad bitch, great convos, great privates, and of course, a whole load of making out (again, not proud of it one bit, but same reasoning as above applies). One of the privates, she gave me as Big Shot Cream Soda by $uicideboy$ was blasting, which I instantly recognized, and was absolutely fucking vibing to. Shit was such a vibe, that the only way to fully feel it would be for you to experience this shit yourself (water, but that's how fucking insane it was, and keep in mind that I only hit the strip with the boys out of pure boredom, solely for entertainment, but this shit actually "moved" me
Another sond she danced for me to was Стрип Клаб (which ironically translates to Strip Club in English) by Пошлая Молли (a Ukrainian Post-Punk band, that purposefully makes their songs sound trashy, but is sick to listen to once it grows onto you. Me and her were actually both big fans of this band; she had a lot of tats on her body, and one of them was actually the logo of this band, which was pretty sick).
Now, the way I could tell that these sluts were wet as fuck for me, was the fact that whilst this bitch was rubbing on my body and moaning (completely unprompted by the way), I physically felt the fucking waterfall down there with my arm, as I decided to check her pussy for that exact reason at some point. There's another cagefuel reason which points towards that, but which I will briefly talk about later on.
Anyways, after a few hours, K, being that strip club's veteran, decided to ask the waitress (some hot chick in (obviously) skimpy ass outfit (yet still not half naked unlike the rest of the strippers, important for later)), to lead us to the karaoke room, so we can get lit in there. We also had the best hookah of our lives shortly before going to said karaoke room (keep in mind me and this nigga have been hookah enthusiasts since at the very least 2020, and the fact that some strip club hookah happened to be the best one is fucking crazy).
So we were singing a bunch of lit ass songs; we all sang Нон-Стоп by the aforementioned band all together, and me and this bitch (she was still on my lap JFL) sang the following song (yet again by the same band) together, which also hit the fucking spot for me, as I absolutely love said song:
After a little bit, K, instead of continuing to sing, decided to become the host. So from then on - he was announcing the songs, making funny comments, etc., which was pretty fucking hilarious. Then, another group of Ukrainian niggas rocked up and wanted to also use the karaoke room. So K gathered them, alongside the waitress, and suggested we all head to the main hall and karaokemax there all together.
Just prior to that point, I started to get tired as fuck, pretty much falling asleep and getting a bit bored. I even started DNRing the stripper, after which she proceeded to dip and go on to serve other customers, which was fine by me, as I just wanted to sleep tbh.
So we were at the main hall. At first, I was still passing out from all the alcohol and insomnia. Speaking of which, I checked the time and at that point, it was about 7am LMFAO. But after a bit, I partially recovered. Some other stripped offered me a private dance, and my dumb ass agreed, as I had a free private token left. I greatly regret that, as I could've kept that token as a sick ass souvenir, but oh well nigga).
Afterwards, I jumped onto a seat with my boys. And at that point, absolutely unhinged shit proceeded to take place.
First of all, the club was due to close a few hours back. However, we requested an extension, and I shit you not, E, the absolute fucking freak, dropped about $2000 so that said extension takes place.
K was still playing the role of the host, so he was posted up with a mic at the DJ booth alongside the actual DJ. At some point, the DJ tells him "yo bro wanna see something funny?" to which, K goes "of course brah". And keep in mind that since we were at the main hall, strippers were now also pole-dancing as we were singing our shit.
So this DJ nigga proceeded to play fucking Blue Tractor out of all songs, which is kinda like the equivalent of Baby Shark for the Russian speakers, except it's a pretty different genre. As the song starts playing, that one schizo 18yo foid from the beginning runs out the changing room naked, absolutely screaming proceeds to jump on the pole and starts dancing to that fucking song with the most passion she's probaby ever experienced in her lifetime
For context, this is the song:
And just as we were in absolute fucking shock from what just happened, and were trying to process this shit whilst trying to simultaneously recover mentally, that one waitress rocks up to K and goes "do u want me to show u a cool trick?" (or something along those lines, as even K himself can barely recall whatever the fuck she said to him), to which, he obviously goes "duh nigga".
So this bitch (once again as said above - not a stripper), whispers something to the DJ, who then proceeds to play Sigma Boy, to which she then proceeds to run up to the pole and absolutely POP THE FUCK OFF on, crazier than even some of the strippers (which, keep in mind, she is not even supposed to do to begin with)
Song for context:
Shit left us even more astonished than from the previous incident; I don't even have the words for the emotions that we experienced at that moment, other than the fact that it was obviously tera turbo cagefuel. Some of the funniest, most random bullshit I've seen in a LONG fucking while. And keep in mind that all the other songs besides these two were proper songs that we would actually sing along to and the girls would usually pole dance to.
As the extension came to an end, it was 8 fucking AM. OTHER NIGGAS WERE LITERALLY GOING TO THEIR JOBS WHILE WE WERE GETTING UP TO ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT
The Aftermath
Chapter song (not the best for reading, but does set the mood for how it was there and then ngl):
As we left the strip club, we decided to take a breather and sit just outside the place, as some place adjacent to it had an outside terrace that they don't deconstruct overnight. I had a whole fucking bottle of Jameson in my Chrome hoodie pocket, that I bought for way too fucking much. I also had that stripper's pussy juice stains all over the bottom bit of said Chrome JFL (was gonna include pics but it's kinda whack so I decided not to
We were all absolutely fucking gone plus knackered. But what we just witnessed had woken us up so abruptly, that we had nothing left to do but chill there and discuss exactly what the fuck we just witnessed (I know it may sound like an exaggeration, but trust me, if you were go through all of that shit yourself - by the end of it, you would be left fucking speechless as well. E said "yo guys lets chill here and camp for those foids so we can pick them up and take them home with us", to which we were kind of reluctant, as it was kinda water for us that there are cameras outside pointing into our mugs, and that the strip club does not allow its girls to fuck with their customers. But as I said, we decided to chill there for a bit more anyways for the aforementioned reason.
Shortly after, some homeless nigga from Kazakhstan was walking buy, and as we were talking amongst each other, he started tryna say something to us. So K prefired and went "fancy a cig mate?" to which the bum said "nah i want a drink". And since we weren't intending on drinking any more whatsoever, I whipped out the bottle of Jameson, and we offer him to take a swig of this shit. However, we said that he would need to get himself a glass or some shit first. So this nigga goes "bet", and not even 5min later, comes back with a big ass plastic cup, at which we caged pretty hard. So K asks him "how much do u want? 50? 100?" - blud goes "150". So we were like "aight you mad fucker" and poured him up about 150ml of that shit, which he proceeded to down, then bent over for a little bit, as if he was feeling pretty fucking sick and was about to puke - but after a few moments - this nigga gets the fuck up, presents himself with hands open to the sides and shit, as if he just finished some sort of talent show performance, and exclaims "professional alcoholic, fuck you talm bout!".
So at that point, we told him to grab a chair and tap in on the convo, as we deemed him chill as fuck. Keep in mind dude was at the very least in his 50s. So we started talking about shit like politics, the state of the world, and all the usual bullshit drunk niggas tend to blabber about. At some point, he was telling us about his upbringing back in the soviet Kazakhstan, how his village was located very fucking close to the Baikonur launch site (like biggest site in the entirety of the USSR btw), how there would be about 3 launches a week and on average only one of them wouldnt fucking explode, and how when they were to explode, they'd feel extreme winds on day 1, and would get absolutely fucking rained on with heptyl (rocket fuel LMFAO) the following days.
As we finished our convo with the guy and decided to move, he went "oh by the way, if you were trying to camp outside for the girls - they dipped ages ago thru the rear entrance"
That shit greatly disappointed E, however I expected this to be the case anyways, so I just caged at this (also fuck mashing strippers/prossies, that's fucking retarded and I wasn't gonna do it either way). But we decided to try going round the back to see if we could perhaps catch them leaving. And surprisingly, the timing couldn't be more perfect, as we actually caught the two strippers we were with (one of them was the one I was with, but which I later on passed to E, as I was trying to get some peace of mind whilst passing out), alongside some other bitch that was also with one of the boys (presumably V). We talked for a little, but let them go at the end, as the strip club's no-contact outside the club setting policy was pretty fucking serious.
As we made our way to the high street, we saw that said high street is always patrolled by the feds, and I just happened to clock that me carrying an open 1L bottle of whiskey was far from the smartest idea in that situation, a bit too late, so the cops started slowly but surely tailing us. Me and K were up front, as V and E were lagging behind ever so slightly, having their own chats. K goes "yo bro i think the cops are on our asses" to which, I didn't even have enough time to say the intended "nahh bro", because as I briefly turned around to check up on the other two - E was already having a conversation with 2 Polish policemen.
So we all came up and asked about what the issue was. They said that this street gets pretty fucking crazy, and that they are just checking peoples' documents (one of them straight up told me that they were farming stats JFL). They asked me for my passport, but I said I don't have any, so they just let it slide lol. The other three, they would look at their passports, call up some nigga on the database, and compare their details. However, K had some issues with his documents at the time, and coincidentally, the cops were taking a bit too long whilst checking his shit. You should've seen that nigga's face
They also said that they stopped os to begin with because E was looking like a drug dealer (c tracksuit, sleeveless puffer, messenger bag, very short hair (borderline buzz), etc.), and when we asked if he was the only one who looked like a plug - they said "yeah lol", at which we also all caged hard. The cops were overall very chill and we were just cracking some jokes for a little bit, before they let us go.
After the whole fed ordeal, we decided to go get ourselves some morning Rosół to try and recover from all that shit. So we went to this traditional Polish cafe to do just that.
Near the entrance, there was some ethnic bum ass nigga trying to mumble some shit to us (he was visibly VERY fucked up on something). We DNRd him and went in to make the order, but he followed us through and kept mumbling some shit, so after a bit of telling him to chill out and shit, I, in Polish, told him something along the lines of "no proszę ziomek, spierdalaj" which means something like "dude, please fuck off". So upon hearing that, he got all amped up, and actually managed to pronounce his first comprehensive word so far, that word being "chuj", meaning dick
Anyways, after that - we had our well-deserved soups, and set out to try and get back home, at which point, V decided to cut.
As we started to make our way back, E realized that he had an arbitrage trader group call from his company scheduled in like 15 minutes. Both mine and K's phones were dead by the way.
So we decided to go into a kebab shop, so he takes a seat and runs the call. Whilst he was doing that, me and K got ourselves some beer to try and pull the hair of the dog. I also took a shit like 5 times in that time period
After he was done with that, E was about to call up an Uber for all of us, but saw a bus pull up, so without saying anything in advance, he jumped in and told us to do the same. So we did, and we rode fuck knows where amongst Polish commuters trying to get to work in the morning. I already know that the absolute fumes of death and despair that our breaths were giving off from the ungodly amounts of alcohol we drank probably intoxicated like half the bus. Poor bastards.
Anyways, E goes "aight. if the bus turns right on this intersection - this is the right bus. If it goes straight - we are fucked". It went straight
So, we hopped off at the nearest stop and finally got the fuckass Uber to get to our other mates that were waiting for us, who were all worried as fuck because they probably thought we were fucking dead; just imagine your boys going to meet some people unprompted, in the middle of the week, to only do all this shit afterwards JFL. Anyways, we met at a cafe and discussed everything that happened. Then went to a hookah lounge, I had some Borsch and smoked the hookah whilst borderline passing out, and THEN we were planning to go to a computer club to run a few games of CSGO, but they were still closed, so we didn't.
At that point, we decided to cut as well, and went home to sleep. By the time we went to sleep, it was 14:00. Keep in mind that the previous day, we met E and D at 14:00 as well. That means we were kicking it off for like 24 hours straight. Later on in the day, E even called me up to slide to the sauna with the boys, but I couldn't be arsed to go anywhere after all of that because I was still sleepy as fuck.
The Conclusion
Degenerate shit? Definitely. Would I live through this experience again? Abso-fucking-lutely.
After all of that, I have pretty much Platinum'd the strip club, so I doubt I'm ever gonna visit one again lol (probably). K, as I said, was a strip club veteran, and even he said that he has never seen anything alike, and there is no point for him to go anymore either. As for V, it was literally his first time at a strip club, ever, so imagine what impression he got from that shit
Anyways, this was probably my most eventful 72 hours that ever took place. K tried to record some of the strip club bullshit, but the DJ caught him and told him to delete the vids unfortunately. I myself have recorded quite a bit, mainly from the first night, as well as most of the aftermath (or at least the Kazakh guy from start to finish, as he approached us whilst we were discussing what the fuck just happened, on video) but I won't be sharing that, as it's obviously doxxfuel, and is in Russian, so most of you won't understand shit anyways
AI TL;DR because fuck writing all that myself (but again, if you have some free time, the full read is most definitely worth it):
Two nights. Warsaw. Mate's Birthday/Ukraine's Independence Day respectively. Started with cider and pizza, ended at 8am whilst commuters were heading to their 9-5s.
Night 1 (prelude): mate's birthday at a Georgian restaurant → LOADS of vodka → Love Sosa + Sicko Mode at said Georgian restaurant → opening a mosh pit with bald Ukrainian uncs → one of them pulling breakdance moves and a sideways handstand in a Daft Punk helmet → strip club (second ever visit, rocked up on Ukrainian daddy shit this time and ate) → karaoke lounge → tweaked the absolute fuck out over money that was in my Binance the entire time, borderline crying in front of a nigga I'd met for the first time. Cringed hard in the morning as I clocked that the money was in my crypto the whole time, but fuck it shit was lit anyways.
Night 2 (main event): Ukrainian cider pub → insane pizza → Czech pub → casino → K ran my blackjack and hit the most deranged win streak of his life with my money → McDonald's → strip club AGAIN → based 18yo tatted Пошлая Молли fan, making out, Big Shot Cream Soda private dance, physically confirmed that said foid was in fact dripping → karaoke room → K becomes the host → schizo foid sprints out the changing room BUTT NAKED to pole dance to a Russian children's tractor song → waitress (NOT a stripper) pulls up to the pole and goes absolutely feral to Sigma Boy → we are all left completely speechless and mentally cooked → 8am. E dropped $2k for the extension btw.
Aftermath: chilled outside with a 50-something Kazakhstani bum who downed 150ml of neat Jameson, started looking sick, then straightened up and went "professional alcoholic, fuck you talm bout" → tapped him into the convo, nigga proceeded to tell us about growing up next to Baikonur and getting rained on with rocket fuel on a weekly basis as a kid → Kazakh bum casually snitched that the strippers had dipped thru the rear entrance ages ago whilst we were sitting right outside, at which E was greatly disappointed → went round the back regardless and timed it perfectly, actually caught them leaving, had a brief chat but let them go due to the club's no-contact policy → K nearly shat himself thinking he was getting deported by Polish feds (he wasn't) → cops said E looked like a plug (he did) → some curry bum tried us, old lady dragged his ass out → E ran an arbitrage trading call from a kebab shop whilst me and K drank beer at 9am → wrong bus amongst traumatized Polish commuters → Uber → met the worried boys at a café → hookah → Borsch → passed out at 14:00, exactly 24 hours after we'd set out.
TTS Audio. I also added all the thread music in all the right places as instrumentals, so that it adds to the stortytelling
(low quality for compression + narrator keeps switching accents JFL, and some minor mistakes, but fuck it we ball)
Thank you all for reading this all the way until the end (the ones that actually did that is
Tags:
@Menas @imontheloose @BigBallsLarry @PharmaPhaggot @Daddy's Home
Read, stories are my favourite thing to read
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Read it all, mirin.
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Disclaimer: all events described in this thread were done on a modded GTAV RP server, and any media attached is AI-generated for better interprotation by the reader.
I was laying off writing this shit for a LONG while, as there's just so fucking much information. ADHDcels, this will be a long ass fucking read. This thread involves nothing but pure degeneracy. But fortunately, it's the actually fun type of degeneracy. Words cannot convey all the emotions one would’ve been going through if one were to experience all these events for oneself, but I tried my best to at least somehow tell thins story, so that said emotions are as conveyable, as they can possibly be over text. So, without further ado, let's get right into this shit.
AI TL;DR + TTS at the end, but I HEAVILY suggest you read the whole story if you've got time, as it's most definitely fucking worth it.
Prelude
(22/08/2025)
Chapter song (don't question it, you'll get why I went with these choices later on):
Things actually hit off 2 days prior to the main story. We were in Warsaw and it was my mate's birthday, which we've decided to mark at a Georgian restaurant. And as always, everything was pretty standard all the way up until everyone started backing shots of Grey(cel) Goose. Soon enough, we were pretty fucked, and just happened to realize that the songs the place was playing were customer-requested. So you already know, me and my mate went up to the DJ and got that nigga to play Love Sosa. Keep in mind, the whole place was full of bald Ukrainian businesmaxed uncs. However, they were fucking with it heavy. So we kept getting lit and drinking more.
Recalling the story later on, I was actually told that I was the one to get the DJ to request Sicko Mode later on. When I say that shit was fucking insane, I am not giving you an understatement at fucking all. However, that goes for the entirety of the story
One of the bald unclites nicked another one of those Daft Punk helmets spead the crowd out a bit and started breakdancing, then proceeded to do a fucking sidewars handstand, or whatever the fuck it was called (at which everybody obviously went crazy, as everybody was very fucking drunk
(you could see how the foids are fucking astonished at that shit (as well as everyone else but they were behind the camera), but also how the niggas at the other table are NOT having any of this
And here are these niggas (my mate who had his birthday + the bald unc):
After this entire ordeal, one of our mates bumped into some of his boys, and we got to know one another, so after a little convo, we all set out. And where do you think a group of shitfaced Ukrainians set out to? That's ryte - the fucking strip club.
Now this was my second ever strip visit. During the first one, my drunk schizo ass decided it was a good idea to larp Brit, even though all strippers were either from Ukraine or Belarus; my boys were talking to me in Russian (which I reciprocated to in English half the time, but because I understood what the fuck they were saying to begin with - it was bait as fuck), AND I didn't notice how my fucking necklace got out from under my shirt, which Ukraine's coat of arms as the pendant. Not only that, but I was high inhib as fuck, so of course, the bitches thought I was some fucking incel retard
Anyways, back to this story: we rock up to the place; I'm shitfaced again, but having learned my lesson the last time - I rocked up on some Ukrainian daddy shit, which actually gave me a fuck ton of aura. The hoes were fully catching my vibe (inb4 "they are fucking psychologists, their literal job is to entertain the clients in any way possible" - even then, the first visit I was so fucking ND, it was visibly obvious that the hoes who were tryna talk to me were NOT digging the conversation one bit. Not only that, but it's also the fact that the strip club tends to be filled with subhuman >20%bf incels who not a single woman not trying to benefit with some sort of materialistic shit from, would touch with even a 10-foot pole. So imagine all these young ass sluts (18-22yo, but primarily closer to 18. Fucking crazy, I know) seeing a low inhib mogger step in (they all remembered my ass and expected me to be a fucking retard just like the last time, but still evidently had at least a smitherine of hope left for me solely based off my looks and height), except this time said low inhib mogger is actually low inhib and hella NT (and fucking speaks their native languages instead of English in the strongest Yorkshire accent they would've heard in their lives). Their pussies were unironically flooded over me (inb4 cope, I'll tell you later on in the story how I know that this was indeed the case), plus I was way more NT in Russian that I would've ever expected, as I'm very much used to spitting game only in English. As a matter of fact, I think I have even better game in Russian/Ukrainian, now that I think about it
At that point, I was fucking twattered - and barely remember anything that happened after said point. However, here are some things my mates recall:
- As soon as we came in with the admin tryna see which seat she can allocate for us - I completely ignored all of them, dropped down onto some hoes' seat and started smoking their hookah
- Tweaked out about losing my credit card, which I was looking for in the bathroom by frantically going through my card holder, which some random confused ass jit noticed and mistook me doing all that for something else - so he proceeded to ask us "yooo u niggas whipping out some coke out that bag or what?" (the card was in there the entire time)
And the most important of it all:
The strip club is always an absolute fucking rinsefest. They take any opportunity whatsoever to get as much money from the drunk ass niggas that rock up, as possible. And prior to going in there, my mate had sent me some USDT over Binance, so that I can cover him, as all the P2Pers were asleep at the time, and he had no way of selling off his crypto for the occasion.
So with all of that in mind, I got hella fucking confused on where the fuck all my money went - and started tweaking the FUCK out. I kept asking said mate about where the fuck my money was and shit, and as we ended up going outside for a smoke - I completely lost my mind, started speaking gibberish about all of this shit, and it got to the point where my ass was borderline crying JFL. So, he decided that enough was enough, and grabbed an Uber for the two of us to go back to the crib (I was staying at his place throughout the whole trip).
In the morning, I checked my Binance and realized that all the money I was missing was actually in there, which I cringed hard at. And do keep in mind, that I did start tweaking over this inside the lounge, with one of the niggas (there were four of us) having m,et me for the very first time in his life - so it was far from the best first impression). Despite all the schizo bullshit at the end, it still was not sufficient to overshadow all the fun we had prior, so I call that night a success.
And thus, the prelude concludes.
The Main Story
(24/08/2025-25/08/2025)
Chapter Song:
It is Ukraine's independence day (big up Ukraine lad
So we walked about a mile to this insane pizza place, ate and were chilling on the outside seating area, pondering on what the plan would happen to be from that point onwards. E and D both have decided to call up one of their boys each, both with a whip, to pull up to a Czech pub, which we would be waiting for them at, to further assess what the plan for that night would be. I let a few pints of this interesting ass blonde/dark beer mix through, and said homeboys pulled up. One of them we'll call V, and the other I don't even remember the name of, so for authenticity's sake, we will just call him "random nigga". Said random nigga pulled up with his girl.
We chilled for a bit, and after a decent bit of brainstorming, decided to hit a casino. So me and D hopped into Random nigga's beamer, whilst K and E jumped into V's e-class. As we were waiting for a traffic light, Random nigga asked us if we mind him speeding, to which I said that I don't give a shit, and as the lights turned green, this nigga hit a 0-100 in what felt like >3s, and soon enough, we were zooming at about 150kmh through night Warsaw, which was fucking nice.
At the casino, all of us withdrew 200PLN (about 50 bucks), ran that shit thru slots and ate shit (never run IRL slots, that shit is fucking whack). After that (about 1.5h in), Random nigga, his girl and D decided that it was time for them to cut, so it was just me, K, E and V left. I decided to withdraw another 200PLN, and K offered to run blackjack for my cash (as I had no clue on how to play that shit back then) and slide me back all the winnings.
And I shit you not, about 40min later, just hear what went down from his own words: "you owe me a bottle of vodka after this; this is the craziest fucking win streak I've ever hit, I wish I were winning this fucking much with my own money".
Not only did I win my lost 200 back, but I had about 200 more on top of that.
And keep in mind, E and V were also winning hella.
So after that triumphal gambling session, we decided to grab ourselves a snack at McDonald's, where we, driven by the insane dopamine kick that just hit us like a fucking semi, discussed our further move for the rest of the night (about 1-2am at that point).
And my genius ass thought of nothing better than to hit the strip club AGAIN (I genuinely found that place funny as fuck while drunk, so it seemed like a very sensible entertainment source).
And these niggas? They were all for it.
No chapter song for this one, as there will be song examples below, for context.
We jump into V's merc and drive up to the spot. An important thing to point out is that this was V's first strip club trip ever.
Things kicked off as per usual. Since the last visit was a great success, all the whores were very glad to see me again. At first though, this one new 18 year-old foid came up to me, we started talking, and she turned out to be a total weirdo. I wasn't that interested in talking to her, so I proceeded to drink, as I directed her to chat to K. As I tapped back into the convo, I shit you not, K was teaching her how to commit fucking tax evasion
Just then, two other sluts rocked up, sat down on my lap, and we started talking. One of them was another 18 year-old, except this time, this one was actually fucking cool. Bad bitch, great convos, great privates, and of course, a whole load of making out (again, not proud of it one bit, but same reasoning as above applies). One of the privates, she gave me as Big Shot Cream Soda by $uicideboy$ was blasting, which I instantly recognized, and was absolutely fucking vibing to. Shit was such a vibe, that the only way to fully feel it would be for you to experience this shit yourself (water, but that's how fucking insane it was, and keep in mind that I only hit the strip with the boys out of pure boredom, solely for entertainment, but this shit actually "moved" me
Another sond she danced for me to was Стрип Клаб (which ironically translates to Strip Club in English) by Пошлая Молли (a Ukrainian Post-Punk band, that purposefully makes their songs sound trashy, but is sick to listen to once it grows onto you. Me and her were actually both big fans of this band; she had a lot of tats on her body, and one of them was actually the logo of this band, which was pretty sick).
Now, the way I could tell that these sluts were wet as fuck for me, was the fact that whilst this bitch was rubbing on my body and moaning (completely unprompted by the way), I physically felt the fucking waterfall down there with my arm, as I decided to check her pussy for that exact reason at some point. There's another cagefuel reason which points towards that, but which I will briefly talk about later on.
Anyways, after a few hours, K, being that strip club's veteran, decided to ask the waitress (some hot chick in (obviously) skimpy ass outfit (yet still not half naked unlike the rest of the strippers, important for later)), to lead us to the karaoke room, so we can get lit in there. We also had the best hookah of our lives shortly before going to said karaoke room (keep in mind me and this nigga have been hookah enthusiasts since at the very least 2020, and the fact that some strip club hookah happened to be the best one is fucking crazy).
So we were singing a bunch of lit ass songs; we all sang Нон-Стоп by the aforementioned band all together, and me and this bitch (she was still on my lap JFL) sang the following song (yet again by the same band) together, which also hit the fucking spot for me, as I absolutely love said song:
After a little bit, K, instead of continuing to sing, decided to become the host. So from then on - he was announcing the songs, making funny comments, etc., which was pretty fucking hilarious. Then, another group of Ukrainian niggas rocked up and wanted to also use the karaoke room. So K gathered them, alongside the waitress, and suggested we all head to the main hall and karaokemax there all together.
Just prior to that point, I started to get tired as fuck, pretty much falling asleep and getting a bit bored. I even started DNRing the stripper, after which she proceeded to dip and go on to serve other customers, which was fine by me, as I just wanted to sleep tbh.
So we were at the main hall. At first, I was still passing out from all the alcohol and insomnia. Speaking of which, I checked the time and at that point, it was about 7am LMFAO. But after a bit, I partially recovered. Some other stripped offered me a private dance, and my dumb ass agreed, as I had a free private token left. I greatly regret that, as I could've kept that token as a sick ass souvenir, but oh well nigga).
Afterwards, I jumped onto a seat with my boys. And at that point, absolutely unhinged shit proceeded to take place.
First of all, the club was due to close a few hours back. However, we requested an extension, and I shit you not, E, the absolute fucking freak, dropped about $2000 so that said extension takes place.
K was still playing the role of the host, so he was posted up with a mic at the DJ booth alongside the actual DJ. At some point, the DJ tells him "yo bro wanna see something funny?" to which, K goes "of course brah". And keep in mind that since we were at the main hall, strippers were now also pole-dancing as we were singing our shit.
So this DJ nigga proceeded to play fucking Blue Tractor out of all songs, which is kinda like the equivalent of Baby Shark for the Russian speakers, except it's a pretty different genre. As the song starts playing, that one schizo 18yo foid from the beginning runs out the changing room naked, absolutely screaming proceeds to jump on the pole and starts dancing to that fucking song with the most passion she's probaby ever experienced in her lifetime
For context, this is the song:
And just as we were in absolute fucking shock from what just happened, and were trying to process this shit whilst trying to simultaneously recover mentally, that one waitress rocks up to K and goes "do u want me to show u a cool trick?" (or something along those lines, as even K himself can barely recall whatever the fuck she said to him), to which, he obviously goes "duh nigga".
So this bitch (once again as said above - not a stripper), whispers something to the DJ, who then proceeds to play Sigma Boy, to which she then proceeds to run up to the pole and absolutely POP THE FUCK OFF on, crazier than even some of the strippers (which, keep in mind, she is not even supposed to do to begin with)
Song for context:
Shit left us even more astonished than from the previous incident; I don't even have the words for the emotions that we experienced at that moment, other than the fact that it was obviously tera turbo cagefuel. Some of the funniest, most random bullshit I've seen in a LONG fucking while. And keep in mind that all the other songs besides these two were proper songs that we would actually sing along to and the girls would usually pole dance to.
As the extension came to an end, it was 8 fucking AM. OTHER NIGGAS WERE LITERALLY GOING TO THEIR JOBS WHILE WE WERE GETTING UP TO ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT
The Aftermath
Chapter song (not the best for reading, but does set the mood for how it was there and then ngl):
As we left the strip club, we decided to take a breather and sit just outside the place, as some place adjacent to it had an outside terrace that they don't deconstruct overnight. I had a whole fucking bottle of Jameson in my Chrome hoodie pocket, that I bought for way too fucking much. I also had that stripper's pussy juice stains all over the bottom bit of said Chrome JFL (was gonna include pics but it's kinda whack so I decided not to
We were all absolutely fucking gone plus knackered. But what we just witnessed had woken us up so abruptly, that we had nothing left to do but chill there and discuss exactly what the fuck we just witnessed (I know it may sound like an exaggeration, but trust me, if you were go through all of that shit yourself - by the end of it, you would be left fucking speechless as well. E said "yo guys lets chill here and camp for those foids so we can pick them up and take them home with us", to which we were kind of reluctant, as it was kinda water for us that there are cameras outside pointing into our mugs, and that the strip club does not allow its girls to fuck with their customers. But as I said, we decided to chill there for a bit more anyways for the aforementioned reason.
Shortly after, some homeless nigga from Kazakhstan was walking buy, and as we were talking amongst each other, he started tryna say something to us. So K prefired and went "fancy a cig mate?" to which the bum said "nah i want a drink". And since we weren't intending on drinking any more whatsoever, I whipped out the bottle of Jameson, and we offer him to take a swig of this shit. However, we said that he would need to get himself a glass or some shit first. So this nigga goes "bet", and not even 5min later, comes back with a big ass plastic cup, at which we caged pretty hard. So K asks him "how much do u want? 50? 100?" - blud goes "150". So we were like "aight you mad fucker" and poured him up about 150ml of that shit, which he proceeded to down, then bent over for a little bit, as if he was feeling pretty fucking sick and was about to puke - but after a few moments - this nigga gets the fuck up, presents himself with hands open to the sides and shit, as if he just finished some sort of talent show performance, and exclaims "professional alcoholic, fuck you talm bout!".
So at that point, we told him to grab a chair and tap in on the convo, as we deemed him chill as fuck. Keep in mind dude was at the very least in his 50s. So we started talking about shit like politics, the state of the world, and all the usual bullshit drunk niggas tend to blabber about. At some point, he was telling us about his upbringing back in the soviet Kazakhstan, how his village was located very fucking close to the Baikonur launch site (like biggest site in the entirety of the USSR btw), how there would be about 3 launches a week and on average only one of them wouldnt fucking explode, and how when they were to explode, they'd feel extreme winds on day 1, and would get absolutely fucking rained on with heptyl (rocket fuel LMFAO) the following days.
As we finished our convo with the guy and decided to move, he went "oh by the way, if you were trying to camp outside for the girls - they dipped ages ago thru the rear entrance"
That shit greatly disappointed E, however I expected this to be the case anyways, so I just caged at this (also fuck mashing strippers/prossies, that's fucking retarded and I wasn't gonna do it either way). But we decided to try going round the back to see if we could perhaps catch them leaving. And surprisingly, the timing couldn't be more perfect, as we actually caught the two strippers we were with (one of them was the one I was with, but which I later on passed to E, as I was trying to get some peace of mind whilst passing out), alongside some other bitch that was also with one of the boys (presumably V). We talked for a little, but let them go at the end, as the strip club's no-contact outside the club setting policy was pretty fucking serious.
As we made our way to the high street, we saw that said high street is always patrolled by the feds, and I just happened to clock that me carrying an open 1L bottle of whiskey was far from the smartest idea in that situation, a bit too late, so the cops started slowly but surely tailing us. Me and K were up front, as V and E were lagging behind ever so slightly, having their own chats. K goes "yo bro i think the cops are on our asses" to which, I didn't even have enough time to say the intended "nahh bro", because as I briefly turned around to check up on the other two - E was already having a conversation with 2 Polish policemen.
So we all came up and asked about what the issue was. They said that this street gets pretty fucking crazy, and that they are just checking peoples' documents (one of them straight up told me that they were farming stats JFL). They asked me for my passport, but I said I don't have any, so they just let it slide lol. The other three, they would look at their passports, call up some nigga on the database, and compare their details. However, K had some issues with his documents at the time, and coincidentally, the cops were taking a bit too long whilst checking his shit. You should've seen that nigga's face
They also said that they stopped os to begin with because E was looking like a drug dealer (c tracksuit, sleeveless puffer, messenger bag, very short hair (borderline buzz), etc.), and when we asked if he was the only one who looked like a plug - they said "yeah lol", at which we also all caged hard. The cops were overall very chill and we were just cracking some jokes for a little bit, before they let us go.
After the whole fed ordeal, we decided to go get ourselves some morning Rosół to try and recover from all that shit. So we went to this traditional Polish cafe to do just that.
Near the entrance, there was some ethnic bum ass nigga trying to mumble some shit to us (he was visibly VERY fucked up on something). We DNRd him and went in to make the order, but he followed us through and kept mumbling some shit, so after a bit of telling him to chill out and shit, I, in Polish, told him something along the lines of "no proszę ziomek, spierdalaj" which means something like "dude, please fuck off". So upon hearing that, he got all amped up, and actually managed to pronounce his first comprehensive word so far, that word being "chuj", meaning dick
Anyways, after that - we had our well-deserved soups, and set out to try and get back home, at which point, V decided to cut.
As we started to make our way back, E realized that he had an arbitrage trader group call from his company scheduled in like 15 minutes. Both mine and K's phones were dead by the way.
So we decided to go into a kebab shop, so he takes a seat and runs the call. Whilst he was doing that, me and K got ourselves some beer to try and pull the hair of the dog. I also took a shit like 5 times in that time period
After he was done with that, E was about to call up an Uber for all of us, but saw a bus pull up, so without saying anything in advance, he jumped in and told us to do the same. So we did, and we rode fuck knows where amongst Polish commuters trying to get to work in the morning. I already know that the absolute fumes of death and despair that our breaths were giving off from the ungodly amounts of alcohol we drank probably intoxicated like half the bus. Poor bastards.
Anyways, E goes "aight. if the bus turns right on this intersection - this is the right bus. If it goes straight - we are fucked". It went straight
So, we hopped off at the nearest stop and finally got the fuckass Uber to get to our other mates that were waiting for us, who were all worried as fuck because they probably thought we were fucking dead; just imagine your boys going to meet some people unprompted, in the middle of the week, to only do all this shit afterwards JFL. Anyways, we met at a cafe and discussed everything that happened. Then went to a hookah lounge, I had some Borsch and smoked the hookah whilst borderline passing out, and THEN we were planning to go to a computer club to run a few games of CSGO, but they were still closed, so we didn't.
At that point, we decided to cut as well, and went home to sleep. By the time we went to sleep, it was 14:00. Keep in mind that the previous day, we met E and D at 14:00 as well. That means we were kicking it off for like 24 hours straight. Later on in the day, E even called me up to slide to the sauna with the boys, but I couldn't be arsed to go anywhere after all of that because I was still sleepy as fuck.
The Conclusion
Degenerate shit? Definitely. Would I live through this experience again? Abso-fucking-lutely.
After all of that, I have pretty much Platinum'd the strip club, so I doubt I'm ever gonna visit one again lol (probably). K, as I said, was a strip club veteran, and even he said that he has never seen anything alike, and there is no point for him to go anymore either. As for V, it was literally his first time at a strip club, ever, so imagine what impression he got from that shit
Anyways, this was probably my most eventful 72 hours that ever took place. K tried to record some of the strip club bullshit, but the DJ caught him and told him to delete the vids unfortunately. I myself have recorded quite a bit, mainly from the first night, as well as most of the aftermath (or at least the Kazakh guy from start to finish, as he approached us whilst we were discussing what the fuck just happened, on video) but I won't be sharing that, as it's obviously doxxfuel, and is in Russian, so most of you won't understand shit anyways
AI TL;DR because fuck writing all that myself (but again, if you have some free time, the full read is most definitely worth it):
Two nights. Warsaw. Mate's Birthday/Ukraine's Independence Day respectively. Started with cider and pizza, ended at 8am whilst commuters were heading to their 9-5s.
Night 1 (prelude): mate's birthday at a Georgian restaurant → LOADS of vodka → Love Sosa + Sicko Mode at said Georgian restaurant → opening a mosh pit with bald Ukrainian uncs → one of them pulling breakdance moves and a sideways handstand in a Daft Punk helmet → strip club (second ever visit, rocked up on Ukrainian daddy shit this time and ate) → karaoke lounge → tweaked the absolute fuck out over money that was in my Binance the entire time, borderline crying in front of a nigga I'd met for the first time. Cringed hard in the morning as I clocked that the money was in my crypto the whole time, but fuck it shit was lit anyways.
Night 2 (main event): Ukrainian cider pub → insane pizza → Czech pub → casino → K ran my blackjack and hit the most deranged win streak of his life with my money → McDonald's → strip club AGAIN → based 18yo tatted Пошлая Молли fan, making out, Big Shot Cream Soda private dance, physically confirmed that said foid was in fact dripping → karaoke room → K becomes the host → schizo foid sprints out the changing room BUTT NAKED to pole dance to a Russian children's tractor song → waitress (NOT a stripper) pulls up to the pole and goes absolutely feral to Sigma Boy → we are all left completely speechless and mentally cooked → 8am. E dropped $2k for the extension btw.
Aftermath: chilled outside with a 50-something Kazakhstani bum who downed 150ml of neat Jameson, started looking sick, then straightened up and went "professional alcoholic, fuck you talm bout" → tapped him into the convo, nigga proceeded to tell us about growing up next to Baikonur and getting rained on with rocket fuel on a weekly basis as a kid → Kazakh bum casually snitched that the strippers had dipped thru the rear entrance ages ago whilst we were sitting right outside, at which E was greatly disappointed → went round the back regardless and timed it perfectly, actually caught them leaving, had a brief chat but let them go due to the club's no-contact policy → K nearly shat himself thinking he was getting deported by Polish feds (he wasn't) → cops said E looked like a plug (he did) → some curry bum tried us, old lady dragged his ass out → E ran an arbitrage trading call from a kebab shop whilst me and K drank beer at 9am → wrong bus amongst traumatized Polish commuters → Uber → met the worried boys at a café → hookah → Borsch → passed out at 14:00, exactly 24 hours after we'd set out.
TTS Audio. I also added all the thread music in all the right places as instrumentals, so that it adds to the stortytelling
(low quality for compression + narrator keeps switching accents JFL, and some minor mistakes, but fuck it we ball)
Thank you all for reading this all the way until the end (the ones that actually did that is
Tags:
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Disclaimer: all events described in this thread were done on a modded GTAV RP server, and any media attached is AI-generated for better interprotation by the reader.
I was laying off writing this shit for a LONG while, as there's just so fucking much information. ADHDcels, this will be a long ass fucking read. This thread involves nothing but pure degeneracy. But fortunately, it's the actually fun type of degeneracy. Words cannot convey all the emotions one would’ve been going through if one were to experience all these events for oneself, but I tried my best to at least somehow tell thins story, so that said emotions are as conveyable, as they can possibly be over text. So, without further ado, let's get right into this shit.
AI TL;DR + TTS at the end, but I HEAVILY suggest you read the whole story if you've got time, as it's most definitely fucking worth it.
Prelude
(22/08/2025)
Chapter song (don't question it, you'll get why I went with these choices later on):
Things actually hit off 2 days prior to the main story. We were in Warsaw and it was my mate's birthday, which we've decided to mark at a Georgian restaurant. And as always, everything was pretty standard all the way up until everyone started backing shots of Grey(cel) Goose. Soon enough, we were pretty fucked, and just happened to realize that the songs the place was playing were customer-requested. So you already know, me and my mate went up to the DJ and got that nigga to play Love Sosa. Keep in mind, the whole place was full of bald Ukrainian businesmaxed uncs. However, they were fucking with it heavy. So we kept getting lit and drinking more.
Recalling the story later on, I was actually told that I was the one to get the DJ to request Sicko Mode later on. When I say that shit was fucking insane, I am not giving you an understatement at fucking all. However, that goes for the entirety of the story
One of the bald unclites nicked another one of those Daft Punk helmets spead the crowd out a bit and started breakdancing, then proceeded to do a fucking sidewars handstand, or whatever the fuck it was called (at which everybody obviously went crazy, as everybody was very fucking drunk
(you could see how the foids are fucking astonished at that shit (as well as everyone else but they were behind the camera), but also how the niggas at the other table are NOT having any of this
And here are these niggas (my mate who had his birthday + the bald unc):
After this entire ordeal, one of our mates bumped into some of his boys, and we got to know one another, so after a little convo, we all set out. And where do you think a group of shitfaced Ukrainians set out to? That's ryte - the fucking strip club.
Now this was my second ever strip visit. During the first one, my drunk schizo ass decided it was a good idea to larp Brit, even though all strippers were either from Ukraine or Belarus; my boys were talking to me in Russian (which I reciprocated to in English half the time, but because I understood what the fuck they were saying to begin with - it was bait as fuck), AND I didn't notice how my fucking necklace got out from under my shirt, which Ukraine's coat of arms as the pendant. Not only that, but I was high inhib as fuck, so of course, the bitches thought I was some fucking incel retard
Anyways, back to this story: we rock up to the place; I'm shitfaced again, but having learned my lesson the last time - I rocked up on some Ukrainian daddy shit, which actually gave me a fuck ton of aura. The hoes were fully catching my vibe (inb4 "they are fucking psychologists, their literal job is to entertain the clients in any way possible" - even then, the first visit I was so fucking ND, it was visibly obvious that the hoes who were tryna talk to me were NOT digging the conversation one bit. Not only that, but it's also the fact that the strip club tends to be filled with subhuman >20%bf incels who not a single woman not trying to benefit with some sort of materialistic shit from, would touch with even a 10-foot pole. So imagine all these young ass sluts (18-22yo, but primarily closer to 18. Fucking crazy, I know) seeing a low inhib mogger step in (they all remembered my ass and expected me to be a fucking retard just like the last time, but still evidently had at least a smitherine of hope left for me solely based off my looks and height), except this time said low inhib mogger is actually low inhib and hella NT (and fucking speaks their native languages instead of English in the strongest Yorkshire accent they would've heard in their lives). Their pussies were unironically flooded over me (inb4 cope, I'll tell you later on in the story how I know that this was indeed the case), plus I was way more NT in Russian that I would've ever expected, as I'm very much used to spitting game only in English. As a matter of fact, I think I have even better game in Russian/Ukrainian, now that I think about it
At that point, I was fucking twattered - and barely remember anything that happened after said point. However, here are some things my mates recall:
- As soon as we came in with the admin tryna see which seat she can allocate for us - I completely ignored all of them, dropped down onto some hoes' seat and started smoking their hookah
- Tweaked out about losing my credit card, which I was looking for in the bathroom by frantically going through my card holder, which some random confused ass jit noticed and mistook me doing all that for something else - so he proceeded to ask us "yooo u niggas whipping out some coke out that bag or what?" (the card was in there the entire time)
And the most important of it all:
The strip club is always an absolute fucking rinsefest. They take any opportunity whatsoever to get as much money from the drunk ass niggas that rock up, as possible. And prior to going in there, my mate had sent me some USDT over Binance, so that I can cover him, as all the P2Pers were asleep at the time, and he had no way of selling off his crypto for the occasion.
So with all of that in mind, I got hella fucking confused on where the fuck all my money went - and started tweaking the FUCK out. I kept asking said mate about where the fuck my money was and shit, and as we ended up going outside for a smoke - I completely lost my mind, started speaking gibberish about all of this shit, and it got to the point where my ass was borderline crying JFL. So, he decided that enough was enough, and grabbed an Uber for the two of us to go back to the crib (I was staying at his place throughout the whole trip).
In the morning, I checked my Binance and realized that all the money I was missing was actually in there, which I cringed hard at. And do keep in mind, that I did start tweaking over this inside the lounge, with one of the niggas (there were four of us) having m,et me for the very first time in his life - so it was far from the best first impression). Despite all the schizo bullshit at the end, it still was not sufficient to overshadow all the fun we had prior, so I call that night a success.
And thus, the prelude concludes.
The Main Story
(24/08/2025-25/08/2025)
Chapter Song:
It is Ukraine's independence day (big up Ukraine lad
So we walked about a mile to this insane pizza place, ate and were chilling on the outside seating area, pondering on what the plan would happen to be from that point onwards. E and D both have decided to call up one of their boys each, both with a whip, to pull up to a Czech pub, which we would be waiting for them at, to further assess what the plan for that night would be. I let a few pints of this interesting ass blonde/dark beer mix through, and said homeboys pulled up. One of them we'll call V, and the other I don't even remember the name of, so for authenticity's sake, we will just call him "random nigga". Said random nigga pulled up with his girl.
We chilled for a bit, and after a decent bit of brainstorming, decided to hit a casino. So me and D hopped into Random nigga's beamer, whilst K and E jumped into V's e-class. As we were waiting for a traffic light, Random nigga asked us if we mind him speeding, to which I said that I don't give a shit, and as the lights turned green, this nigga hit a 0-100 in what felt like >3s, and soon enough, we were zooming at about 150kmh through night Warsaw, which was fucking nice.
At the casino, all of us withdrew 200PLN (about 50 bucks), ran that shit thru slots and ate shit (never run IRL slots, that shit is fucking whack). After that (about 1.5h in), Random nigga, his girl and D decided that it was time for them to cut, so it was just me, K, E and V left. I decided to withdraw another 200PLN, and K offered to run blackjack for my cash (as I had no clue on how to play that shit back then) and slide me back all the winnings.
And I shit you not, about 40min later, just hear what went down from his own words: "you owe me a bottle of vodka after this; this is the craziest fucking win streak I've ever hit, I wish I were winning this fucking much with my own money".
Not only did I win my lost 200 back, but I had about 200 more on top of that.
And keep in mind, E and V were also winning hella.
So after that triumphal gambling session, we decided to grab ourselves a snack at McDonald's, where we, driven by the insane dopamine kick that just hit us like a fucking semi, discussed our further move for the rest of the night (about 1-2am at that point).
And my genius ass thought of nothing better than to hit the strip club AGAIN (I genuinely found that place funny as fuck while drunk, so it seemed like a very sensible entertainment source).
And these niggas? They were all for it.
No chapter song for this one, as there will be song examples below, for context.
We jump into V's merc and drive up to the spot. An important thing to point out is that this was V's first strip club trip ever.
Things kicked off as per usual. Since the last visit was a great success, all the whores were very glad to see me again. At first though, this one new 18 year-old foid came up to me, we started talking, and she turned out to be a total weirdo. I wasn't that interested in talking to her, so I proceeded to drink, as I directed her to chat to K. As I tapped back into the convo, I shit you not, K was teaching her how to commit fucking tax evasion
Just then, two other sluts rocked up, sat down on my lap, and we started talking. One of them was another 18 year-old, except this time, this one was actually fucking cool. Bad bitch, great convos, great privates, and of course, a whole load of making out (again, not proud of it one bit, but same reasoning as above applies). One of the privates, she gave me as Big Shot Cream Soda by $uicideboy$ was blasting, which I instantly recognized, and was absolutely fucking vibing to. Shit was such a vibe, that the only way to fully feel it would be for you to experience this shit yourself (water, but that's how fucking insane it was, and keep in mind that I only hit the strip with the boys out of pure boredom, solely for entertainment, but this shit actually "moved" me
Another sond she danced for me to was Стрип Клаб (which ironically translates to Strip Club in English) by Пошлая Молли (a Ukrainian Post-Punk band, that purposefully makes their songs sound trashy, but is sick to listen to once it grows onto you. Me and her were actually both big fans of this band; she had a lot of tats on her body, and one of them was actually the logo of this band, which was pretty sick).
Now, the way I could tell that these sluts were wet as fuck for me, was the fact that whilst this bitch was rubbing on my body and moaning (completely unprompted by the way), I physically felt the fucking waterfall down there with my arm, as I decided to check her pussy for that exact reason at some point. There's another cagefuel reason which points towards that, but which I will briefly talk about later on.
Anyways, after a few hours, K, being that strip club's veteran, decided to ask the waitress (some hot chick in (obviously) skimpy ass outfit (yet still not half naked unlike the rest of the strippers, important for later)), to lead us to the karaoke room, so we can get lit in there. We also had the best hookah of our lives shortly before going to said karaoke room (keep in mind me and this nigga have been hookah enthusiasts since at the very least 2020, and the fact that some strip club hookah happened to be the best one is fucking crazy).
So we were singing a bunch of lit ass songs; we all sang Нон-Стоп by the aforementioned band all together, and me and this bitch (she was still on my lap JFL) sang the following song (yet again by the same band) together, which also hit the fucking spot for me, as I absolutely love said song:
After a little bit, K, instead of continuing to sing, decided to become the host. So from then on - he was announcing the songs, making funny comments, etc., which was pretty fucking hilarious. Then, another group of Ukrainian niggas rocked up and wanted to also use the karaoke room. So K gathered them, alongside the waitress, and suggested we all head to the main hall and karaokemax there all together.
Just prior to that point, I started to get tired as fuck, pretty much falling asleep and getting a bit bored. I even started DNRing the stripper, after which she proceeded to dip and go on to serve other customers, which was fine by me, as I just wanted to sleep tbh.
So we were at the main hall. At first, I was still passing out from all the alcohol and insomnia. Speaking of which, I checked the time and at that point, it was about 7am LMFAO. But after a bit, I partially recovered. Some other stripped offered me a private dance, and my dumb ass agreed, as I had a free private token left. I greatly regret that, as I could've kept that token as a sick ass souvenir, but oh well nigga).
Afterwards, I jumped onto a seat with my boys. And at that point, absolutely unhinged shit proceeded to take place.
First of all, the club was due to close a few hours back. However, we requested an extension, and I shit you not, E, the absolute fucking freak, dropped about $2000 so that said extension takes place.
K was still playing the role of the host, so he was posted up with a mic at the DJ booth alongside the actual DJ. At some point, the DJ tells him "yo bro wanna see something funny?" to which, K goes "of course brah". And keep in mind that since we were at the main hall, strippers were now also pole-dancing as we were singing our shit.
So this DJ nigga proceeded to play fucking Blue Tractor out of all songs, which is kinda like the equivalent of Baby Shark for the Russian speakers, except it's a pretty different genre. As the song starts playing, that one schizo 18yo foid from the beginning runs out the changing room naked, absolutely screaming proceeds to jump on the pole and starts dancing to that fucking song with the most passion she's probaby ever experienced in her lifetime
For context, this is the song:
And just as we were in absolute fucking shock from what just happened, and were trying to process this shit whilst trying to simultaneously recover mentally, that one waitress rocks up to K and goes "do u want me to show u a cool trick?" (or something along those lines, as even K himself can barely recall whatever the fuck she said to him), to which, he obviously goes "duh nigga".
So this bitch (once again as said above - not a stripper), whispers something to the DJ, who then proceeds to play Sigma Boy, to which she then proceeds to run up to the pole and absolutely POP THE FUCK OFF on, crazier than even some of the strippers (which, keep in mind, she is not even supposed to do to begin with)
Song for context:
Shit left us even more astonished than from the previous incident; I don't even have the words for the emotions that we experienced at that moment, other than the fact that it was obviously tera turbo cagefuel. Some of the funniest, most random bullshit I've seen in a LONG fucking while. And keep in mind that all the other songs besides these two were proper songs that we would actually sing along to and the girls would usually pole dance to.
As the extension came to an end, it was 8 fucking AM. OTHER NIGGAS WERE LITERALLY GOING TO THEIR JOBS WHILE WE WERE GETTING UP TO ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT
The Aftermath
Chapter song (not the best for reading, but does set the mood for how it was there and then ngl):
As we left the strip club, we decided to take a breather and sit just outside the place, as some place adjacent to it had an outside terrace that they don't deconstruct overnight. I had a whole fucking bottle of Jameson in my Chrome hoodie pocket, that I bought for way too fucking much. I also had that stripper's pussy juice stains all over the bottom bit of said Chrome JFL (was gonna include pics but it's kinda whack so I decided not to
We were all absolutely fucking gone plus knackered. But what we just witnessed had woken us up so abruptly, that we had nothing left to do but chill there and discuss exactly what the fuck we just witnessed (I know it may sound like an exaggeration, but trust me, if you were go through all of that shit yourself - by the end of it, you would be left fucking speechless as well. E said "yo guys lets chill here and camp for those foids so we can pick them up and take them home with us", to which we were kind of reluctant, as it was kinda water for us that there are cameras outside pointing into our mugs, and that the strip club does not allow its girls to fuck with their customers. But as I said, we decided to chill there for a bit more anyways for the aforementioned reason.
Shortly after, some homeless nigga from Kazakhstan was walking buy, and as we were talking amongst each other, he started tryna say something to us. So K prefired and went "fancy a cig mate?" to which the bum said "nah i want a drink". And since we weren't intending on drinking any more whatsoever, I whipped out the bottle of Jameson, and we offer him to take a swig of this shit. However, we said that he would need to get himself a glass or some shit first. So this nigga goes "bet", and not even 5min later, comes back with a big ass plastic cup, at which we caged pretty hard. So K asks him "how much do u want? 50? 100?" - blud goes "150". So we were like "aight you mad fucker" and poured him up about 150ml of that shit, which he proceeded to down, then bent over for a little bit, as if he was feeling pretty fucking sick and was about to puke - but after a few moments - this nigga gets the fuck up, presents himself with hands open to the sides and shit, as if he just finished some sort of talent show performance, and exclaims "professional alcoholic, fuck you talm bout!".
So at that point, we told him to grab a chair and tap in on the convo, as we deemed him chill as fuck. Keep in mind dude was at the very least in his 50s. So we started talking about shit like politics, the state of the world, and all the usual bullshit drunk niggas tend to blabber about. At some point, he was telling us about his upbringing back in the soviet Kazakhstan, how his village was located very fucking close to the Baikonur launch site (like biggest site in the entirety of the USSR btw), how there would be about 3 launches a week and on average only one of them wouldnt fucking explode, and how when they were to explode, they'd feel extreme winds on day 1, and would get absolutely fucking rained on with heptyl (rocket fuel LMFAO) the following days.
As we finished our convo with the guy and decided to move, he went "oh by the way, if you were trying to camp outside for the girls - they dipped ages ago thru the rear entrance"
That shit greatly disappointed E, however I expected this to be the case anyways, so I just caged at this (also fuck mashing strippers/prossies, that's fucking retarded and I wasn't gonna do it either way). But we decided to try going round the back to see if we could perhaps catch them leaving. And surprisingly, the timing couldn't be more perfect, as we actually caught the two strippers we were with (one of them was the one I was with, but which I later on passed to E, as I was trying to get some peace of mind whilst passing out), alongside some other bitch that was also with one of the boys (presumably V). We talked for a little, but let them go at the end, as the strip club's no-contact outside the club setting policy was pretty fucking serious.
As we made our way to the high street, we saw that said high street is always patrolled by the feds, and I just happened to clock that me carrying an open 1L bottle of whiskey was far from the smartest idea in that situation, a bit too late, so the cops started slowly but surely tailing us. Me and K were up front, as V and E were lagging behind ever so slightly, having their own chats. K goes "yo bro i think the cops are on our asses" to which, I didn't even have enough time to say the intended "nahh bro", because as I briefly turned around to check up on the other two - E was already having a conversation with 2 Polish policemen.
So we all came up and asked about what the issue was. They said that this street gets pretty fucking crazy, and that they are just checking peoples' documents (one of them straight up told me that they were farming stats JFL). They asked me for my passport, but I said I don't have any, so they just let it slide lol. The other three, they would look at their passports, call up some nigga on the database, and compare their details. However, K had some issues with his documents at the time, and coincidentally, the cops were taking a bit too long whilst checking his shit. You should've seen that nigga's face
They also said that they stopped os to begin with because E was looking like a drug dealer (c tracksuit, sleeveless puffer, messenger bag, very short hair (borderline buzz), etc.), and when we asked if he was the only one who looked like a plug - they said "yeah lol", at which we also all caged hard. The cops were overall very chill and we were just cracking some jokes for a little bit, before they let us go.
After the whole fed ordeal, we decided to go get ourselves some morning Rosół to try and recover from all that shit. So we went to this traditional Polish cafe to do just that.
Near the entrance, there was some ethnic bum ass nigga trying to mumble some shit to us (he was visibly VERY fucked up on something). We DNRd him and went in to make the order, but he followed us through and kept mumbling some shit, so after a bit of telling him to chill out and shit, I, in Polish, told him something along the lines of "no proszę ziomek, spierdalaj" which means something like "dude, please fuck off". So upon hearing that, he got all amped up, and actually managed to pronounce his first comprehensive word so far, that word being "chuj", meaning dick
Anyways, after that - we had our well-deserved soups, and set out to try and get back home, at which point, V decided to cut.
As we started to make our way back, E realized that he had an arbitrage trader group call from his company scheduled in like 15 minutes. Both mine and K's phones were dead by the way.
So we decided to go into a kebab shop, so he takes a seat and runs the call. Whilst he was doing that, me and K got ourselves some beer to try and pull the hair of the dog. I also took a shit like 5 times in that time period
After he was done with that, E was about to call up an Uber for all of us, but saw a bus pull up, so without saying anything in advance, he jumped in and told us to do the same. So we did, and we rode fuck knows where amongst Polish commuters trying to get to work in the morning. I already know that the absolute fumes of death and despair that our breaths were giving off from the ungodly amounts of alcohol we drank probably intoxicated like half the bus. Poor bastards.
Anyways, E goes "aight. if the bus turns right on this intersection - this is the right bus. If it goes straight - we are fucked". It went straight
So, we hopped off at the nearest stop and finally got the fuckass Uber to get to our other mates that were waiting for us, who were all worried as fuck because they probably thought we were fucking dead; just imagine your boys going to meet some people unprompted, in the middle of the week, to only do all this shit afterwards JFL. Anyways, we met at a cafe and discussed everything that happened. Then went to a hookah lounge, I had some Borsch and smoked the hookah whilst borderline passing out, and THEN we were planning to go to a computer club to run a few games of CSGO, but they were still closed, so we didn't.
At that point, we decided to cut as well, and went home to sleep. By the time we went to sleep, it was 14:00. Keep in mind that the previous day, we met E and D at 14:00 as well. That means we were kicking it off for like 24 hours straight. Later on in the day, E even called me up to slide to the sauna with the boys, but I couldn't be arsed to go anywhere after all of that because I was still sleepy as fuck.
The Conclusion
Degenerate shit? Definitely. Would I live through this experience again? Abso-fucking-lutely.
After all of that, I have pretty much Platinum'd the strip club, so I doubt I'm ever gonna visit one again lol (probably). K, as I said, was a strip club veteran, and even he said that he has never seen anything alike, and there is no point for him to go anymore either. As for V, it was literally his first time at a strip club, ever, so imagine what impression he got from that shit
Anyways, this was probably my most eventful 72 hours that ever took place. K tried to record some of the strip club bullshit, but the DJ caught him and told him to delete the vids unfortunately. I myself have recorded quite a bit, mainly from the first night, as well as most of the aftermath (or at least the Kazakh guy from start to finish, as he approached us whilst we were discussing what the fuck just happened, on video) but I won't be sharing that, as it's obviously doxxfuel, and is in Russian, so most of you won't understand shit anyways
AI TL;DR because fuck writing all that myself (but again, if you have some free time, the full read is most definitely worth it):
Two nights. Warsaw. Mate's Birthday/Ukraine's Independence Day respectively. Started with cider and pizza, ended at 8am whilst commuters were heading to their 9-5s.
Night 1 (prelude): mate's birthday at a Georgian restaurant → LOADS of vodka → Love Sosa + Sicko Mode at said Georgian restaurant → opening a mosh pit with bald Ukrainian uncs → one of them pulling breakdance moves and a sideways handstand in a Daft Punk helmet → strip club (second ever visit, rocked up on Ukrainian daddy shit this time and ate) → karaoke lounge → tweaked the absolute fuck out over money that was in my Binance the entire time, borderline crying in front of a nigga I'd met for the first time. Cringed hard in the morning as I clocked that the money was in my crypto the whole time, but fuck it shit was lit anyways.
Night 2 (main event): Ukrainian cider pub → insane pizza → Czech pub → casino → K ran my blackjack and hit the most deranged win streak of his life with my money → McDonald's → strip club AGAIN → based 18yo tatted Пошлая Молли fan, making out, Big Shot Cream Soda private dance, physically confirmed that said foid was in fact dripping → karaoke room → K becomes the host → schizo foid sprints out the changing room BUTT NAKED to pole dance to a Russian children's tractor song → waitress (NOT a stripper) pulls up to the pole and goes absolutely feral to Sigma Boy → we are all left completely speechless and mentally cooked → 8am. E dropped $2k for the extension btw.
Aftermath: chilled outside with a 50-something Kazakhstani bum who downed 150ml of neat Jameson, started looking sick, then straightened up and went "professional alcoholic, fuck you talm bout" → tapped him into the convo, nigga proceeded to tell us about growing up next to Baikonur and getting rained on with rocket fuel on a weekly basis as a kid → Kazakh bum casually snitched that the strippers had dipped thru the rear entrance ages ago whilst we were sitting right outside, at which E was greatly disappointed → went round the back regardless and timed it perfectly, actually caught them leaving, had a brief chat but let them go due to the club's no-contact policy → K nearly shat himself thinking he was getting deported by Polish feds (he wasn't) → cops said E looked like a plug (he did) → some curry bum tried us, old lady dragged his ass out → E ran an arbitrage trading call from a kebab shop whilst me and K drank beer at 9am → wrong bus amongst traumatized Polish commuters → Uber → met the worried boys at a café → hookah → Borsch → passed out at 14:00, exactly 24 hours after we'd set out.
TTS Audio. I also added all the thread music in all the right places as instrumentals, so that it adds to the stortytelling
(low quality for compression + narrator keeps switching accents JFL, and some minor mistakes, but fuck it we ball)
Thank you all for reading this all the way until the end (the ones that actually did that is
Tags:
@Menas @imontheloose @BigBallsLarry @PharmaPhaggot @Daddy's Home
man this story is fucking mental honestly you lot lived a whole ass movie in 24 hours my head is absolutely fried just reading about that blue tractor shit like imagine being in the club and some bird starts spinning on the pole to a toddler song that is proper schizo energy right there and that kazakh uncle is a straight up legendary npc talking about rocket fuel rain like he’s some fallout character or what lol your boy k is a walking cheat code for the casino too but e jumping on a professional trade call from a kebab shop at 9am is the most degenerate peak performance shit i’ve ever heard of absolute chaos from start to finish you lot basically platinumed the streets in one go glad you didn't get bagged by the feds or end up in a ditch if there’s ever a sequel let me in on the lobby stay safe you absolute madman i was just at home playing half life lmao
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Sadist
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FUCK YEAman this story is fucking mental honestly you lot lived a whole ass movie in 24 hours my head is absolutely fried just reading about that blue tractor shit like imagine being in the club and some bird starts spinning on the pole to a toddler song that is proper schizo energy right there and that kazakh uncle is a straight up legendary npc talking about rocket fuel rain like he’s some fallout character or what lol your boy k is a walking cheat code for the casino too but e jumping on a professional trade call from a kebab shop at 9am is the most degenerate peak performance shit i’ve ever heard of absolute chaos from start to finish you lot basically platinumed the streets in one go glad you didn't get bagged by the feds or end up in a ditch if there’s ever a sequel let me in on the lobby stay safe you absolute madman i was just at home playing half life lmao
P.S. half life is based
krieg
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Ukrainian women out here being strippers dancing to Russian baby shark while their brothers get sniped by 53 year old Russians with beer belly’s
Peubert
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Low T disclaimer, real chad stands on anything he does or say
Peubert
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read every atom bhai lifemogs me
lifemogs me
Sadist
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u mean whilst their brothers snipe 53 year old russians with beer bellies?
krieg
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In reality they’re all one ethnic group it’s like a nigga from Manchester declaring war on Liverpoolu mean whilst their brothers snipe 53 year old russians with beer bellies?
Real talk though I much prefer Eastern Europeans over western despite the bad rep they get
Would love to visit one day once all this shit is over
Sadist
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eastern europe indeed mogs hard, im going to ukraine soon myself
but nah, russians are way too mutted atp. mongolo-tatar and finno-ugric admixture on those fuckers is insane. there are some pure slavic russians left, but they are lowkey a dying kind.
also forgot to shoutout my nigga @K4ZYA223 for sniping said 53yo russians with beer bellies as we speak
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krieg
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Youre going to Ukraine?eastern europe indeed mogs hard, im going to ukraine soon myself
but nah, russians are way too mutted atp. mongolo-tatar and finno-ugric admixture on those fuckers is insane. there are some pure slavic russians left, but they are lowkey a very rare kind.
also forgot to shoutout my nigga @K4ZYA223 for sniping said 53yo russians with beer bellies as we speak
And He’s fighting in Ukraine that’s crazy?
I heard it’s some deep trench warfare shit
How do you even afford all this travelling? arent there restrictions on going to ukraine anyways
Sadist
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yessir
yeah man, crazy ass nigga
it indeed is. i was also gonna go fight, but first came trenches instead of urban warfare, and that was no fun. then drones came around and thats some dumb shit so im good
i just kinda do
if youre u24 (or u23 idr) u can leave freely
tomahawk
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Average fucking Kazakh experience nigga
tomahawk
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That was an insane read
loseratgenes
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Disclaimer: all events described in this thread were done on a modded GTAV RP server, and any media attached is AI-generated for better interprotation by the reader.
I was laying off writing this shit for a LONG while, as there's just so fucking much information. ADHDcels, this will be a long ass fucking read. This thread involves nothing but pure degeneracy. But fortunately, it's the actually fun type of degeneracy. Words cannot convey all the emotions one would’ve been going through if one were to experience all these events for oneself, but I tried my best to at least somehow tell thins story, so that said emotions are as conveyable, as they can possibly be over text. So, without further ado, let's get right into this shit.
AI TL;DR + TTS at the end, but I HEAVILY suggest you read the whole story if you've got time, as it's most definitely fucking worth it.
Prelude
(22/08/2025)
Chapter song (don't question it, you'll get why I went with these choices later on):
Things actually hit off 2 days prior to the main story. We were in Warsaw and it was my mate's birthday, which we've decided to mark at a Georgian restaurant. And as always, everything was pretty standard all the way up until everyone started backing shots of Grey(cel) Goose. Soon enough, we were pretty fucked, and just happened to realize that the songs the place was playing were customer-requested. So you already know, me and my mate went up to the DJ and got that nigga to play Love Sosa. Keep in mind, the whole place was full of bald Ukrainian businesmaxed uncs. However, they were fucking with it heavy. So we kept getting lit and drinking more.
Recalling the story later on, I was actually told that I was the one to get the DJ to request Sicko Mode later on. When I say that shit was fucking insane, I am not giving you an understatement at fucking all. However, that goes for the entirety of the story
One of the bald unclites nicked another one of those Daft Punk helmets spead the crowd out a bit and started breakdancing, then proceeded to do a fucking sidewars handstand, or whatever the fuck it was called (at which everybody obviously went crazy, as everybody was very fucking drunk
(you could see how the foids are fucking astonished at that shit (as well as everyone else but they were behind the camera), but also how the niggas at the other table are NOT having any of this
And here are these niggas (my mate who had his birthday + the bald unc):
After this entire ordeal, one of our mates bumped into some of his boys, and we got to know one another, so after a little convo, we all set out. And where do you think a group of shitfaced Ukrainians set out to? That's ryte - the fucking strip club.
Now this was my second ever strip visit. During the first one, my drunk schizo ass decided it was a good idea to larp Brit, even though all strippers were either from Ukraine or Belarus; my boys were talking to me in Russian (which I reciprocated to in English half the time, but because I understood what the fuck they were saying to begin with - it was bait as fuck), AND I didn't notice how my fucking necklace got out from under my shirt, which Ukraine's coat of arms as the pendant. Not only that, but I was high inhib as fuck, so of course, the bitches thought I was some fucking incel retard
Anyways, back to this story: we rock up to the place; I'm shitfaced again, but having learned my lesson the last time - I rocked up on some Ukrainian daddy shit, which actually gave me a fuck ton of aura. The hoes were fully catching my vibe (inb4 "they are fucking psychologists, their literal job is to entertain the clients in any way possible" - even then, the first visit I was so fucking ND, it was visibly obvious that the hoes who were tryna talk to me were NOT digging the conversation one bit. Not only that, but it's also the fact that the strip club tends to be filled with subhuman >20%bf incels who not a single woman not trying to benefit with some sort of materialistic shit from, would touch with even a 10-foot pole. So imagine all these young ass sluts (18-22yo, but primarily closer to 18. Fucking crazy, I know) seeing a low inhib mogger step in (they all remembered my ass and expected me to be a fucking retard just like the last time, but still evidently had at least a smitherine of hope left for me solely based off my looks and height), except this time said low inhib mogger is actually low inhib and hella NT (and fucking speaks their native languages instead of English in the strongest Yorkshire accent they would've heard in their lives). Their pussies were unironically flooded over me (inb4 cope, I'll tell you later on in the story how I know that this was indeed the case), plus I was way more NT in Russian that I would've ever expected, as I'm very much used to spitting game only in English. As a matter of fact, I think I have even better game in Russian/Ukrainian, now that I think about it
At that point, I was fucking twattered - and barely remember anything that happened after said point. However, here are some things my mates recall:
- As soon as we came in with the admin tryna see which seat she can allocate for us - I completely ignored all of them, dropped down onto some hoes' seat and started smoking their hookah
- Tweaked out about losing my credit card, which I was looking for in the bathroom by frantically going through my card holder, which some random confused ass jit noticed and mistook me doing all that for something else - so he proceeded to ask us "yooo u niggas whipping out some coke out that bag or what?" (the card was in there the entire time)
And the most important of it all:
The strip club is always an absolute fucking rinsefest. They take any opportunity whatsoever to get as much money from the drunk ass niggas that rock up, as possible. And prior to going in there, my mate had sent me some USDT over Binance, so that I can cover him, as all the P2Pers were asleep at the time, and he had no way of selling off his crypto for the occasion.
So with all of that in mind, I got hella fucking confused on where the fuck all my money went - and started tweaking the FUCK out. I kept asking said mate about where the fuck my money was and shit, and as we ended up going outside for a smoke - I completely lost my mind, started speaking gibberish about all of this shit, and it got to the point where my ass was borderline crying JFL. So, he decided that enough was enough, and grabbed an Uber for the two of us to go back to the crib (I was staying at his place throughout the whole trip).
In the morning, I checked my Binance and realized that all the money I was missing was actually in there, which I cringed hard at. And do keep in mind, that I did start tweaking over this inside the lounge, with one of the niggas (there were four of us) having m,et me for the very first time in his life - so it was far from the best first impression). Despite all the schizo bullshit at the end, it still was not sufficient to overshadow all the fun we had prior, so I call that night a success.
And thus, the prelude concludes.
The Main Story
(24/08/2025-25/08/2025)
Chapter Song:
It is Ukraine's independence day (big up Ukraine lad
So we walked about a mile to this insane pizza place, ate and were chilling on the outside seating area, pondering on what the plan would happen to be from that point onwards. E and D both have decided to call up one of their boys each, both with a whip, to pull up to a Czech pub, which we would be waiting for them at, to further assess what the plan for that night would be. I let a few pints of this interesting ass blonde/dark beer mix through, and said homeboys pulled up. One of them we'll call V, and the other I don't even remember the name of, so for authenticity's sake, we will just call him "random nigga". Said random nigga pulled up with his girl.
We chilled for a bit, and after a decent bit of brainstorming, decided to hit a casino. So me and D hopped into Random nigga's beamer, whilst K and E jumped into V's e-class. As we were waiting for a traffic light, Random nigga asked us if we mind him speeding, to which I said that I don't give a shit, and as the lights turned green, this nigga hit a 0-100 in what felt like >3s, and soon enough, we were zooming at about 150kmh through night Warsaw, which was fucking nice.
At the casino, all of us withdrew 200PLN (about 50 bucks), ran that shit thru slots and ate shit (never run IRL slots, that shit is fucking whack). After that (about 1.5h in), Random nigga, his girl and D decided that it was time for them to cut, so it was just me, K, E and V left. I decided to withdraw another 200PLN, and K offered to run blackjack for my cash (as I had no clue on how to play that shit back then) and slide me back all the winnings.
And I shit you not, about 40min later, just hear what went down from his own words: "you owe me a bottle of vodka after this; this is the craziest fucking win streak I've ever hit, I wish I were winning this fucking much with my own money".
Not only did I win my lost 200 back, but I had about 200 more on top of that.
And keep in mind, E and V were also winning hella.
So after that triumphal gambling session, we decided to grab ourselves a snack at McDonald's, where we, driven by the insane dopamine kick that just hit us like a fucking semi, discussed our further move for the rest of the night (about 1-2am at that point).
And my genius ass thought of nothing better than to hit the strip club AGAIN (I genuinely found that place funny as fuck while drunk, so it seemed like a very sensible entertainment source).
And these niggas? They were all for it.
No chapter song for this one, as there will be song examples below, for context.
We jump into V's merc and drive up to the spot. An important thing to point out is that this was V's first strip club trip ever.
Things kicked off as per usual. Since the last visit was a great success, all the whores were very glad to see me again. At first though, this one new 18 year-old foid came up to me, we started talking, and she turned out to be a total weirdo. I wasn't that interested in talking to her, so I proceeded to drink, as I directed her to chat to K. As I tapped back into the convo, I shit you not, K was teaching her how to commit fucking tax evasion
Just then, two other sluts rocked up, sat down on my lap, and we started talking. One of them was another 18 year-old, except this time, this one was actually fucking cool. Bad bitch, great convos, great privates, and of course, a whole load of making out (again, not proud of it one bit, but same reasoning as above applies). One of the privates, she gave me as Big Shot Cream Soda by $uicideboy$ was blasting, which I instantly recognized, and was absolutely fucking vibing to. Shit was such a vibe, that the only way to fully feel it would be for you to experience this shit yourself (water, but that's how fucking insane it was, and keep in mind that I only hit the strip with the boys out of pure boredom, solely for entertainment, but this shit actually "moved" me
Another sond she danced for me to was Стрип Клаб (which ironically translates to Strip Club in English) by Пошлая Молли (a Ukrainian Post-Punk band, that purposefully makes their songs sound trashy, but is sick to listen to once it grows onto you. Me and her were actually both big fans of this band; she had a lot of tats on her body, and one of them was actually the logo of this band, which was pretty sick).
Now, the way I could tell that these sluts were wet as fuck for me, was the fact that whilst this bitch was rubbing on my body and moaning (completely unprompted by the way), I physically felt the fucking waterfall down there with my arm, as I decided to check her pussy for that exact reason at some point. There's another cagefuel reason which points towards that, but which I will briefly talk about later on.
Anyways, after a few hours, K, being that strip club's veteran, decided to ask the waitress (some hot chick in (obviously) skimpy ass outfit (yet still not half naked unlike the rest of the strippers, important for later)), to lead us to the karaoke room, so we can get lit in there. We also had the best hookah of our lives shortly before going to said karaoke room (keep in mind me and this nigga have been hookah enthusiasts since at the very least 2020, and the fact that some strip club hookah happened to be the best one is fucking crazy).
So we were singing a bunch of lit ass songs; we all sang Нон-Стоп by the aforementioned band all together, and me and this bitch (she was still on my lap JFL) sang the following song (yet again by the same band) together, which also hit the fucking spot for me, as I absolutely love said song:
After a little bit, K, instead of continuing to sing, decided to become the host. So from then on - he was announcing the songs, making funny comments, etc., which was pretty fucking hilarious. Then, another group of Ukrainian niggas rocked up and wanted to also use the karaoke room. So K gathered them, alongside the waitress, and suggested we all head to the main hall and karaokemax there all together.
Just prior to that point, I started to get tired as fuck, pretty much falling asleep and getting a bit bored. I even started DNRing the stripper, after which she proceeded to dip and go on to serve other customers, which was fine by me, as I just wanted to sleep tbh.
So we were at the main hall. At first, I was still passing out from all the alcohol and insomnia. Speaking of which, I checked the time and at that point, it was about 7am LMFAO. But after a bit, I partially recovered. Some other stripped offered me a private dance, and my dumb ass agreed, as I had a free private token left. I greatly regret that, as I could've kept that token as a sick ass souvenir, but oh well nigga).
Afterwards, I jumped onto a seat with my boys. And at that point, absolutely unhinged shit proceeded to take place.
First of all, the club was due to close a few hours back. However, we requested an extension, and I shit you not, E, the absolute fucking freak, dropped about $2000 so that said extension takes place.
K was still playing the role of the host, so he was posted up with a mic at the DJ booth alongside the actual DJ. At some point, the DJ tells him "yo bro wanna see something funny?" to which, K goes "of course brah". And keep in mind that since we were at the main hall, strippers were now also pole-dancing as we were singing our shit.
So this DJ nigga proceeded to play fucking Blue Tractor out of all songs, which is kinda like the equivalent of Baby Shark for the Russian speakers, except it's a pretty different genre. As the song starts playing, that one schizo 18yo foid from the beginning runs out the changing room naked, absolutely screaming proceeds to jump on the pole and starts dancing to that fucking song with the most passion she's probaby ever experienced in her lifetime
For context, this is the song:
And just as we were in absolute fucking shock from what just happened, and were trying to process this shit whilst trying to simultaneously recover mentally, that one waitress rocks up to K and goes "do u want me to show u a cool trick?" (or something along those lines, as even K himself can barely recall whatever the fuck she said to him), to which, he obviously goes "duh nigga".
So this bitch (once again as said above - not a stripper), whispers something to the DJ, who then proceeds to play Sigma Boy, to which she then proceeds to run up to the pole and absolutely POP THE FUCK OFF on, crazier than even some of the strippers (which, keep in mind, she is not even supposed to do to begin with)
Song for context:
Shit left us even more astonished than from the previous incident; I don't even have the words for the emotions that we experienced at that moment, other than the fact that it was obviously tera turbo cagefuel. Some of the funniest, most random bullshit I've seen in a LONG fucking while. And keep in mind that all the other songs besides these two were proper songs that we would actually sing along to and the girls would usually pole dance to.
As the extension came to an end, it was 8 fucking AM. OTHER NIGGAS WERE LITERALLY GOING TO THEIR JOBS WHILE WE WERE GETTING UP TO ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT
The Aftermath
Chapter song (not the best for reading, but does set the mood for how it was there and then ngl):
As we left the strip club, we decided to take a breather and sit just outside the place, as some place adjacent to it had an outside terrace that they don't deconstruct overnight. I had a whole fucking bottle of Jameson in my Chrome hoodie pocket, that I bought for way too fucking much. I also had that stripper's pussy juice stains all over the bottom bit of said Chrome JFL (was gonna include pics but it's kinda whack so I decided not to
We were all absolutely fucking gone plus knackered. But what we just witnessed had woken us up so abruptly, that we had nothing left to do but chill there and discuss exactly what the fuck we just witnessed (I know it may sound like an exaggeration, but trust me, if you were go through all of that shit yourself - by the end of it, you would be left fucking speechless as well. E said "yo guys lets chill here and camp for those foids so we can pick them up and take them home with us", to which we were kind of reluctant, as it was kinda water for us that there are cameras outside pointing into our mugs, and that the strip club does not allow its girls to fuck with their customers. But as I said, we decided to chill there for a bit more anyways for the aforementioned reason.
Shortly after, some homeless nigga from Kazakhstan was walking buy, and as we were talking amongst each other, he started tryna say something to us. So K prefired and went "fancy a cig mate?" to which the bum said "nah i want a drink". And since we weren't intending on drinking any more whatsoever, I whipped out the bottle of Jameson, and we offer him to take a swig of this shit. However, we said that he would need to get himself a glass or some shit first. So this nigga goes "bet", and not even 5min later, comes back with a big ass plastic cup, at which we caged pretty hard. So K asks him "how much do u want? 50? 100?" - blud goes "150". So we were like "aight you mad fucker" and poured him up about 150ml of that shit, which he proceeded to down, then bent over for a little bit, as if he was feeling pretty fucking sick and was about to puke - but after a few moments - this nigga gets the fuck up, presents himself with hands open to the sides and shit, as if he just finished some sort of talent show performance, and exclaims "professional alcoholic, fuck you talm bout!".
So at that point, we told him to grab a chair and tap in on the convo, as we deemed him chill as fuck. Keep in mind dude was at the very least in his 50s. So we started talking about shit like politics, the state of the world, and all the usual bullshit drunk niggas tend to blabber about. At some point, he was telling us about his upbringing back in the soviet Kazakhstan, how his village was located very fucking close to the Baikonur launch site (like biggest site in the entirety of the USSR btw), how there would be about 3 launches a week and on average only one of them wouldnt fucking explode, and how when they were to explode, they'd feel extreme winds on day 1, and would get absolutely fucking rained on with heptyl (rocket fuel LMFAO) the following days.
As we finished our convo with the guy and decided to move, he went "oh by the way, if you were trying to camp outside for the girls - they dipped ages ago thru the rear entrance"
That shit greatly disappointed E, however I expected this to be the case anyways, so I just caged at this (also fuck mashing strippers/prossies, that's fucking retarded and I wasn't gonna do it either way). But we decided to try going round the back to see if we could perhaps catch them leaving. And surprisingly, the timing couldn't be more perfect, as we actually caught the two strippers we were with (one of them was the one I was with, but which I later on passed to E, as I was trying to get some peace of mind whilst passing out), alongside some other bitch that was also with one of the boys (presumably V). We talked for a little, but let them go at the end, as the strip club's no-contact outside the club setting policy was pretty fucking serious.
As we made our way to the high street, we saw that said high street is always patrolled by the feds, and I just happened to clock that me carrying an open 1L bottle of whiskey was far from the smartest idea in that situation, a bit too late, so the cops started slowly but surely tailing us. Me and K were up front, as V and E were lagging behind ever so slightly, having their own chats. K goes "yo bro i think the cops are on our asses" to which, I didn't even have enough time to say the intended "nahh bro", because as I briefly turned around to check up on the other two - E was already having a conversation with 2 Polish policemen.
So we all came up and asked about what the issue was. They said that this street gets pretty fucking crazy, and that they are just checking peoples' documents (one of them straight up told me that they were farming stats JFL). They asked me for my passport, but I said I don't have any, so they just let it slide lol. The other three, they would look at their passports, call up some nigga on the database, and compare their details. However, K had some issues with his documents at the time, and coincidentally, the cops were taking a bit too long whilst checking his shit. You should've seen that nigga's face
They also said that they stopped os to begin with because E was looking like a drug dealer (c tracksuit, sleeveless puffer, messenger bag, very short hair (borderline buzz), etc.), and when we asked if he was the only one who looked like a plug - they said "yeah lol", at which we also all caged hard. The cops were overall very chill and we were just cracking some jokes for a little bit, before they let us go.
After the whole fed ordeal, we decided to go get ourselves some morning Rosół to try and recover from all that shit. So we went to this traditional Polish cafe to do just that.
Near the entrance, there was some ethnic bum ass nigga trying to mumble some shit to us (he was visibly VERY fucked up on something). We DNRd him and went in to make the order, but he followed us through and kept mumbling some shit, so after a bit of telling him to chill out and shit, I, in Polish, told him something along the lines of "no proszę ziomek, spierdalaj" which means something like "dude, please fuck off". So upon hearing that, he got all amped up, and actually managed to pronounce his first comprehensive word so far, that word being "chuj", meaning dick
Anyways, after that - we had our well-deserved soups, and set out to try and get back home, at which point, V decided to cut.
As we started to make our way back, E realized that he had an arbitrage trader group call from his company scheduled in like 15 minutes. Both mine and K's phones were dead by the way.
So we decided to go into a kebab shop, so he takes a seat and runs the call. Whilst he was doing that, me and K got ourselves some beer to try and pull the hair of the dog. I also took a shit like 5 times in that time period
After he was done with that, E was about to call up an Uber for all of us, but saw a bus pull up, so without saying anything in advance, he jumped in and told us to do the same. So we did, and we rode fuck knows where amongst Polish commuters trying to get to work in the morning. I already know that the absolute fumes of death and despair that our breaths were giving off from the ungodly amounts of alcohol we drank probably intoxicated like half the bus. Poor bastards.
Anyways, E goes "aight. if the bus turns right on this intersection - this is the right bus. If it goes straight - we are fucked". It went straight
So, we hopped off at the nearest stop and finally got the fuckass Uber to get to our other mates that were waiting for us, who were all worried as fuck because they probably thought we were fucking dead; just imagine your boys going to meet some people unprompted, in the middle of the week, to only do all this shit afterwards JFL. Anyways, we met at a cafe and discussed everything that happened. Then went to a hookah lounge, I had some Borsch and smoked the hookah whilst borderline passing out, and THEN we were planning to go to a computer club to run a few games of CSGO, but they were still closed, so we didn't.
At that point, we decided to cut as well, and went home to sleep. By the time we went to sleep, it was 14:00. Keep in mind that the previous day, we met E and D at 14:00 as well. That means we were kicking it off for like 24 hours straight. Later on in the day, E even called me up to slide to the sauna with the boys, but I couldn't be arsed to go anywhere after all of that because I was still sleepy as fuck.
The Conclusion
Degenerate shit? Definitely. Would I live through this experience again? Abso-fucking-lutely.
After all of that, I have pretty much Platinum'd the strip club, so I doubt I'm ever gonna visit one again lol (probably). K, as I said, was a strip club veteran, and even he said that he has never seen anything alike, and there is no point for him to go anymore either. As for V, it was literally his first time at a strip club, ever, so imagine what impression he got from that shit
Anyways, this was probably my most eventful 72 hours that ever took place. K tried to record some of the strip club bullshit, but the DJ caught him and told him to delete the vids unfortunately. I myself have recorded quite a bit, mainly from the first night, as well as most of the aftermath (or at least the Kazakh guy from start to finish, as he approached us whilst we were discussing what the fuck just happened, on video) but I won't be sharing that, as it's obviously doxxfuel, and is in Russian, so most of you won't understand shit anyways
AI TL;DR because fuck writing all that myself (but again, if you have some free time, the full read is most definitely worth it):
Two nights. Warsaw. Mate's Birthday/Ukraine's Independence Day respectively. Started with cider and pizza, ended at 8am whilst commuters were heading to their 9-5s.
Night 1 (prelude): mate's birthday at a Georgian restaurant → LOADS of vodka → Love Sosa + Sicko Mode at said Georgian restaurant → opening a mosh pit with bald Ukrainian uncs → one of them pulling breakdance moves and a sideways handstand in a Daft Punk helmet → strip club (second ever visit, rocked up on Ukrainian daddy shit this time and ate) → karaoke lounge → tweaked the absolute fuck out over money that was in my Binance the entire time, borderline crying in front of a nigga I'd met for the first time. Cringed hard in the morning as I clocked that the money was in my crypto the whole time, but fuck it shit was lit anyways.
Night 2 (main event): Ukrainian cider pub → insane pizza → Czech pub → casino → K ran my blackjack and hit the most deranged win streak of his life with my money → McDonald's → strip club AGAIN → based 18yo tatted Пошлая Молли fan, making out, Big Shot Cream Soda private dance, physically confirmed that said foid was in fact dripping → karaoke room → K becomes the host → schizo foid sprints out the changing room BUTT NAKED to pole dance to a Russian children's tractor song → waitress (NOT a stripper) pulls up to the pole and goes absolutely feral to Sigma Boy → we are all left completely speechless and mentally cooked → 8am. E dropped $2k for the extension btw.
Aftermath: chilled outside with a 50-something Kazakhstani bum who downed 150ml of neat Jameson, started looking sick, then straightened up and went "professional alcoholic, fuck you talm bout" → tapped him into the convo, nigga proceeded to tell us about growing up next to Baikonur and getting rained on with rocket fuel on a weekly basis as a kid → Kazakh bum casually snitched that the strippers had dipped thru the rear entrance ages ago whilst we were sitting right outside, at which E was greatly disappointed → went round the back regardless and timed it perfectly, actually caught them leaving, had a brief chat but let them go due to the club's no-contact policy → K nearly shat himself thinking he was getting deported by Polish feds (he wasn't) → cops said E looked like a plug (he did) → some curry bum tried us, old lady dragged his ass out → E ran an arbitrage trading call from a kebab shop whilst me and K drank beer at 9am → wrong bus amongst traumatized Polish commuters → Uber → met the worried boys at a café → hookah → Borsch → passed out at 14:00, exactly 24 hours after we'd set out.
TTS Audio. I also added all the thread music in all the right places as instrumentals, so that it adds to the stortytelling
(low quality for compression + narrator keeps switching accents JFL, and some minor mistakes, but fuck it we ball)
Thank you all for reading this all the way until the end (the ones that actually did that is
Tags:
@Menas @imontheloose @BigBallsLarry @PharmaPhaggot @Daddy's Home
DNR but i will bookmark it and read later
BigBallsHisty
𝕺𝖒𝖓𝖎𝖛𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖚𝖘 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖚𝖘 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
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Next time i go to a part , I will make sure to jestermaxx with the techno helmet , shit is tuff asf
Did read , the whole shit is so funny , ngl i might listen to the TTS shii after a while
You should post more stories ngl , so funny
Did read , the whole shit is so funny , ngl i might listen to the TTS shii after a while
You should post more stories ngl , so funny
Sadist
wake up, pin some test, then I– slay..
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boy oh boy, you sure will have a blast listening to the tts
but i’ll see if i can be fucked to post anything else like this in a lil bit jfl
zurrity
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Your anti-porn thread got replaced by this bullshit on sticky threads.
iblamexyz
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bump will read going for a shit brb
iblamexyz
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mirin the read being a russian speaker made this 10x better for the drunk guy clip and the music
@ReadBooksEveryday this what ukraine nigga's be doing instead of fighting in the war
popeyesniggle
charisma is law anything else is cope
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Молодец чел смешно было. А во сколько лет можно в клуб ходить в Украине?
Sadist
wake up, pin some test, then I– slay..
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idk about them but i’m objectively more helpful to my country here than i would be if i were in a trench with an akmirin the read being a russian speaker made this 10x better for the drunk guy clip and the music
@ReadBooksEveryday this what ukraine nigga's be doing instead of fighting in the war
спасибо, в 18 насколько я знаю
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