unotwerk
Bronze
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2026
- Posts
- 458
- Reputation
- 459
Bros.
It's over.
I accidentally ascended.
Three weeks ago I switched from the blue toothpaste to the green toothpaste. Since then:
Jawline gained +4 mm of projection.
Eye area entered "predator mode."
Hair density increased so much my barber charged me extra.
Local pigeons now move out of my path.
Mirrors take an extra second to render my reflection.
Yesterday a girl looked in my general direction for 0.3 seconds. At first I thought it was coincidence, but after calculating the angle of incidence and factoring in orbital tilt, I can confirm she was detecting my aura.
Normies will say:
"Bro that's just confidence."
Wrong.
Confidence is a cope invented by people with recessed maxillas.
It's over.
I accidentally ascended.
Three weeks ago I switched from the blue toothpaste to the green toothpaste. Since then:
Jawline gained +4 mm of projection.
Eye area entered "predator mode."
Hair density increased so much my barber charged me extra.
Local pigeons now move out of my path.
Mirrors take an extra second to render my reflection.
Yesterday a girl looked in my general direction for 0.3 seconds. At first I thought it was coincidence, but after calculating the angle of incidence and factoring in orbital tilt, I can confirm she was detecting my aura.
Normies will say:
"Bro that's just confidence."
Wrong.
Confidence is a cope invented by people with recessed maxillas.
