At what point do I give up

[SubhumanFoidHater]

It’s 5am rn on the night before my first day of year 11. Im 5’3 ethnic, fat, low smv, low psl, high inhib and just overall finished with how my life has turned out so far. Yet I refuse to just give up and end my life because there’s a small part of me that is hoping that I will get a growth spurt or somehow my life will turn around. I’m wondering at which point this hope becomes false and if I should give up and end my life at that point or continue to find refuge and coping mechanisms to make my life bearable. Everything is shit at this point and I’m starting to get very tired of it