BigJimsWornOutTires
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Do you know what truthfully inspired the Viking attacks and raids on the British Isles during the Early Middle Ages? To save the children. The Norsemen had never imagined men defiling such precious human property until they met the Anglo-Saxons.
The Vikings first landed in England in 789 AD, looking for friendship. But what they’d learned in a village would lead to many, many years of vicious battles and blood eagles.
While politely nodding at the British townsfolk, the Viking leader Raggy noticed something amiss. The children avoided eye contact. But the women stared and grinned. He approached a redhead holding her child. Biting a side of his bottom lip, he glanced at her cleavage. Now licking his upper lip, he nodded approval of this gorgeous milf in her mid-twenties. She offered him the toddler, “Here, wife!”
Not understanding her strange language, the Scandinavian recognized the gesture. Ugh, he remembered the Black tribes he defeated and chased down south. They, too, offered children. He shook his head and grabbed the child. He tossed it down and kicked it away. The mother’s green eyes enlarged. He seized her waist. She reacted, “Oh, my.” He filled his hands with her bubble butt. "Do it," she exclaimed. As his sausage digits wandered into the hairy crack of her ass, she gaped her mouth. She hadn’t felt the touch of a man in a long, long time.
After picking her up, he brought her to a wooden table and dropped her on it. He flipped her over; she pulled up her dress. The Viking liberated her agony into a celebration of moans and fuck yeahs.
As the British men cringed at the old bat getting nailed, the Vikings noticed the reaction of the other women. Many smiles and dresses lifted. Several ladies were bent over the tables with their legs spread, fingers rubbing their land clams, inviting the muscular migrants into their flooded temples. At the moment, the friendship seekers were clueless about why the British women were so eager to have sex with them. But then along came a translator.
“Hola!” Jullian Galla Sabastian offered his service to Raggy. He told him he was a full-bred Englishman. “See, I tell you everything they say,” he assured him. He explained to them that the British men were weak sissies and only into children. Ugh, this enraged the leader with Thor's vengeance!
“We will be back with more men to have sex with these women and kill their faggot wankers!” The women cheered.
The British men weren’t always kiddie creeps. At one time, they were normal tree monkeys. They cherish their wives and act appropriately toward children. However, when Julius Caesar came charging into their treetop village with a child in one arm, a sword in the other, Britain would change forever.
The Roman Empire was the origin of creepy behavior with children. It was tradition for Roman men to have malapropos relations with them, especially young males. Julius Caesar favored his nephews, like Octavian, Buckaroo, and Bussyogusto. But his second in command, Mark Anthony, preferred the dark meat. And one day, he would marry a young woman named Cleopatra. The Egyptian men shamed her as spoiled goods because of her red slug. Though Mark knew her royal privilege could lead to many hookups with slave children.
Their battle strategies were unorthodox. The Roman Army used children as body shields and fodder. This advantage helped them win conflicts, because the enemy wouldn’t stab at an adult with a child in his arms. But the first time they fought the ancient Britannians in 55 BC, these white primates fought like black ones.
“Attack!” Julius shouted as he tossed the child at the army of Brits. A blonde-haired soldier swung his sword, decapitating him in half. The Roman soldiers were baffled. Julius said to his commander, Royimus, “Now why would he waste that?” They both shook their heads.
Three more soldiers hauled the toddlers. And like the first, they were immediately cut in half. Ugh, by the evening, the death toll rose to 985 children, 13 Englishmen, and 4 Roman soldiers.
A year later, Caesar returned with a larger army of 3,250 soldiers and 18,500 children. Finally, he would conquer the tree people.
For the next decade, the Romans showed the Englishmen how not to kill children, but Muslim with them. So they adopted this practice into the culture we know today as the United Kingdom.
Next time on The Fuck Did You Just Say? We’re going to explore the culture of the Brown Bunny people. Ah, yes, the French origin story. Ugh, spoiler, they inspired transgenderism.
The Vikings first landed in England in 789 AD, looking for friendship. But what they’d learned in a village would lead to many, many years of vicious battles and blood eagles.
While politely nodding at the British townsfolk, the Viking leader Raggy noticed something amiss. The children avoided eye contact. But the women stared and grinned. He approached a redhead holding her child. Biting a side of his bottom lip, he glanced at her cleavage. Now licking his upper lip, he nodded approval of this gorgeous milf in her mid-twenties. She offered him the toddler, “Here, wife!”
Not understanding her strange language, the Scandinavian recognized the gesture. Ugh, he remembered the Black tribes he defeated and chased down south. They, too, offered children. He shook his head and grabbed the child. He tossed it down and kicked it away. The mother’s green eyes enlarged. He seized her waist. She reacted, “Oh, my.” He filled his hands with her bubble butt. "Do it," she exclaimed. As his sausage digits wandered into the hairy crack of her ass, she gaped her mouth. She hadn’t felt the touch of a man in a long, long time.
After picking her up, he brought her to a wooden table and dropped her on it. He flipped her over; she pulled up her dress. The Viking liberated her agony into a celebration of moans and fuck yeahs.
As the British men cringed at the old bat getting nailed, the Vikings noticed the reaction of the other women. Many smiles and dresses lifted. Several ladies were bent over the tables with their legs spread, fingers rubbing their land clams, inviting the muscular migrants into their flooded temples. At the moment, the friendship seekers were clueless about why the British women were so eager to have sex with them. But then along came a translator.
“Hola!” Jullian Galla Sabastian offered his service to Raggy. He told him he was a full-bred Englishman. “See, I tell you everything they say,” he assured him. He explained to them that the British men were weak sissies and only into children. Ugh, this enraged the leader with Thor's vengeance!
“We will be back with more men to have sex with these women and kill their faggot wankers!” The women cheered.
The British men weren’t always kiddie creeps. At one time, they were normal tree monkeys. They cherish their wives and act appropriately toward children. However, when Julius Caesar came charging into their treetop village with a child in one arm, a sword in the other, Britain would change forever.
The Roman Empire was the origin of creepy behavior with children. It was tradition for Roman men to have malapropos relations with them, especially young males. Julius Caesar favored his nephews, like Octavian, Buckaroo, and Bussyogusto. But his second in command, Mark Anthony, preferred the dark meat. And one day, he would marry a young woman named Cleopatra. The Egyptian men shamed her as spoiled goods because of her red slug. Though Mark knew her royal privilege could lead to many hookups with slave children.
Their battle strategies were unorthodox. The Roman Army used children as body shields and fodder. This advantage helped them win conflicts, because the enemy wouldn’t stab at an adult with a child in his arms. But the first time they fought the ancient Britannians in 55 BC, these white primates fought like black ones.
“Attack!” Julius shouted as he tossed the child at the army of Brits. A blonde-haired soldier swung his sword, decapitating him in half. The Roman soldiers were baffled. Julius said to his commander, Royimus, “Now why would he waste that?” They both shook their heads.
Three more soldiers hauled the toddlers. And like the first, they were immediately cut in half. Ugh, by the evening, the death toll rose to 985 children, 13 Englishmen, and 4 Roman soldiers.
A year later, Caesar returned with a larger army of 3,250 soldiers and 18,500 children. Finally, he would conquer the tree people.
For the next decade, the Romans showed the Englishmen how not to kill children, but Muslim with them. So they adopted this practice into the culture we know today as the United Kingdom.
Next time on The Fuck Did You Just Say? We’re going to explore the culture of the Brown Bunny people. Ah, yes, the French origin story. Ugh, spoiler, they inspired transgenderism.
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