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𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 2 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2024
- Posts
- 10,397
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- 15,316
Not only do you face constant alienation, ostracization, humiliation, disrespect, and not being taken seriously by anyone, but you also torture yourself and wonder every day why you were the one who got a broken brain
I genuinely don’t wish this shit on my worst enemy, it’s like your brain is stuck half as a toddler and half as an elderly man, too sensitive and weird to integrate with the world and properly establish yourself the way your spirit yearns for. No, you come off to others as everything you hate. And most of the time you aren’t even aware of it.
When normies are ugly they don’t fall into an obsessive PSL rabbit hole, they just work on becoming funnier and more sociable to make up for it. NDs on the other hand are physically incapable of doing this, so we’re forced to dedicate everything into appearances and first impressions to compensate for our undesirable neurochemistry.
A broken GABA/glutamate system, and utter inability to use lateral thinking, will doom you to inevitable failure whenever your endeavors involve others or society. You can’t ever truly fix it, you can read all the guides in the world, but one thing will always be off. Maybe you smile at the wrong time or you forget to add expression to your voice or you make the wrong gesture at the wrong time. Wrong wrong wrong wrong. Even the most mundane interaction will require a world-class Oscar-winning performance, so much energy and effort just to rise to the same level as everyone else.
I have nothing. All I can do is put all my chips into my face and pray that in the end my work pays off enough to satisfy others. Because who i actually am as a person, that will surely never satisfy anyone. All I ever wanted was to just be enough.
I genuinely don’t wish this shit on my worst enemy, it’s like your brain is stuck half as a toddler and half as an elderly man, too sensitive and weird to integrate with the world and properly establish yourself the way your spirit yearns for. No, you come off to others as everything you hate. And most of the time you aren’t even aware of it.
When normies are ugly they don’t fall into an obsessive PSL rabbit hole, they just work on becoming funnier and more sociable to make up for it. NDs on the other hand are physically incapable of doing this, so we’re forced to dedicate everything into appearances and first impressions to compensate for our undesirable neurochemistry.
A broken GABA/glutamate system, and utter inability to use lateral thinking, will doom you to inevitable failure whenever your endeavors involve others or society. You can’t ever truly fix it, you can read all the guides in the world, but one thing will always be off. Maybe you smile at the wrong time or you forget to add expression to your voice or you make the wrong gesture at the wrong time. Wrong wrong wrong wrong. Even the most mundane interaction will require a world-class Oscar-winning performance, so much energy and effort just to rise to the same level as everyone else.
I have nothing. All I can do is put all my chips into my face and pray that in the end my work pays off enough to satisfy others. Because who i actually am as a person, that will surely never satisfy anyone. All I ever wanted was to just be enough.
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