Arcturus
"Greg...Greg!"
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2020
- Posts
- 23,399
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- 37,857
Ok, so no joke, I knew this guy, in 10th, and he was totes a nerd, a dork, and what not right. Like he'd walk through the halls and hot girls would trip him just for the lulz. Now that's saying something. If the GIRLS are doing that kind of stuff to you, you're a whole level of loser more than to be a guy who the other guys do that to (like the fat kid I told you guys about who fell victim to future class president Chip's bullying and nothing was done about it).
But one day, I don't know how, Rip became a chad over the summer, and returns to 11th grade looking like the dude in "GermanLooks" avatar. Girls fell all over him, guys wanted him to join the lacrosse team and give him pointers on getting girls., even though he'd never dated before his Chad transformation.
I always attributed it to a late puberty that he'd grow 7 inches and a whole person's worth of bone formation in the span of a summer, but I soon came to suspect he might have beanmaxed.
For those of you who don't know, the ancient Moroccans used this acient technique in order to make themselves Chady. I mean, those were the people who also developed jelqing, only this stuff might actually work. Never tried it, idk.
My evidence for these suspicions were the insane about of bean cans I found in his room and kitchen from then on. I also found some ancient Moroccan literature including hollistic books which mention beanmaxing. They just don't call it that.
One of the techniques I found out through my research is that you're supposed to, and wait for it, don't knock it...
Stand in front of the mirror in your room. Put both hands on your thingy. Try to flap your arms like the chicken motion. You know, like how people did in the "I feel like chicken tonight" commercials. Ok before your time? Phuck I hate being 38... anyways...
As you do those motions you stomp your feet in rhythm, and chant out "Hickory dickory dock! Hickory dickory dock! Want to be Chad, extra bad, now let's run down the clock!" And repeat a few times.
This undoes the power of mind. The Moroccans knew that beanmaxing doesn't work if you can't incorporate power of mind. You have to really believe that it can work.
but it gets weirder. Apparently, if you subject yourself to a bit of sacrifice of pride, with people watching, it makes harnessing the power more powerful. So you have to be out there in town, with people seeing it, doing that move and chant. People have to see it and you have to be embarassed. It has to hurt. it has to be a blow to your ego. Once you can deconstruct that crap, you go from there and build up a new psyche that tells you you're worth it.
The daily regimen is as follows:
6 cans of pintos daily
1 can of kidney
2 Lima
and one lentil can at 8:00PM
You know the chicks joke about increasing her bust with exercises? That came from this concept. The philosphy behind these thing is that you need to conserve energy and by telling everybody the secrets to your success, you violate those principles. So if it works, you can't tell lots of people
But one day, I don't know how, Rip became a chad over the summer, and returns to 11th grade looking like the dude in "GermanLooks" avatar. Girls fell all over him, guys wanted him to join the lacrosse team and give him pointers on getting girls., even though he'd never dated before his Chad transformation.
I always attributed it to a late puberty that he'd grow 7 inches and a whole person's worth of bone formation in the span of a summer, but I soon came to suspect he might have beanmaxed.
For those of you who don't know, the ancient Moroccans used this acient technique in order to make themselves Chady. I mean, those were the people who also developed jelqing, only this stuff might actually work. Never tried it, idk.
My evidence for these suspicions were the insane about of bean cans I found in his room and kitchen from then on. I also found some ancient Moroccan literature including hollistic books which mention beanmaxing. They just don't call it that.
One of the techniques I found out through my research is that you're supposed to, and wait for it, don't knock it...
Stand in front of the mirror in your room. Put both hands on your thingy. Try to flap your arms like the chicken motion. You know, like how people did in the "I feel like chicken tonight" commercials. Ok before your time? Phuck I hate being 38... anyways...
As you do those motions you stomp your feet in rhythm, and chant out "Hickory dickory dock! Hickory dickory dock! Want to be Chad, extra bad, now let's run down the clock!" And repeat a few times.
This undoes the power of mind. The Moroccans knew that beanmaxing doesn't work if you can't incorporate power of mind. You have to really believe that it can work.
but it gets weirder. Apparently, if you subject yourself to a bit of sacrifice of pride, with people watching, it makes harnessing the power more powerful. So you have to be out there in town, with people seeing it, doing that move and chant. People have to see it and you have to be embarassed. It has to hurt. it has to be a blow to your ego. Once you can deconstruct that crap, you go from there and build up a new psyche that tells you you're worth it.
The daily regimen is as follows:
6 cans of pintos daily
1 can of kidney
2 Lima
and one lentil can at 8:00PM
You know the chicks joke about increasing her bust with exercises? That came from this concept. The philosphy behind these thing is that you need to conserve energy and by telling everybody the secrets to your success, you violate those principles. So if it works, you can't tell lots of people
this post is gonna make me commit suicide
