Before joining the military i was very well mentally

[Deleted member 21735]

i still had positivity and energy in me, thought that by enlisting id become better or smth. as soon an i joined all the emtpiness i had started to suffocate me, i could barely fucntion while i was in there. 4 months in and i was looking at pics of my itis, crying about her during my night shifts. every time i had patrol with someone i kept talking about her for hours and they tried to convince me that she totally didnt get railed by chad after we parted ways.

then i got out of that shit and you know what i reaized? that myself is shit, dreams are just childish fantasies and everything else is an illusion. if i wasnt myself i could have avoided all the shit i went through in the past 3 years. its all my fault in the end, i should have just kept on being a zombie till i ran out of energy.

 

[Sanguinius]

Leaving the military extremely jaded is a common experience

 

[Deleted member 21735]

Leaving the military extremely jaded is a common experience

yes but people are jaded for other reasons, i was jaded even before enlisting