iamnotgrayipromise
Risktaker/Roadrunner
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2026
- Posts
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i want this to be a message to all the young teens scrolling on org right now before i fully log off
i am not nd in the sense that i am autistic as shit and i cant do anything but i am not nt either, somewhere in the middle. i was so insecure and had such severe body dysmorphia in my early teens that i lived most of my teenage years in regret and anxiety, i considered suicide multiple times and i still do to this day almost every single day, the only reason i keep going are the people around me and waiting to do the things i want to do, i dont remember much but i was blessed to have a better life than most, i had good friends and family around and i was blessed in general, a lot of people dont get to experience that and i hope all the best to them. but slowly as i matured my looks and body in general got much better, i am well above average in most aspects but little changed psychologically as it started getting better. for example, i am in a relationship right now and everything is going very well but i cant help but think that i am never enough for anybody, she doesnt really love me, she is going to find someone better even thought she was the one who started pursuing me for an entire year before i finally got better mentally to start a relationship. i also cant imagine the future for me in general, i always thought that life would just end at like 22, i just know that one day down the line i will eventually go through with it and that is going to be the case. also thinking that i would not live a full happy life for some reason, i wouldnt be able to achieve everything i wanted and i wouldnt be able to live a good life. i dont remember the last time i was really happy and carefree, there is always something that i have to worry about. i know i may be in a better situation than most and i dont want this to seem as complaining but most people are just gonna dnr and make fun of this post but for a few people that actually read this and get my point, i just want to say that please prioritize your mental health, live the life you want to live, do the things you want to do before its too late so you dont regret it in the future, dont want this to seem like a blue pill rant, improving your looks will 100% absolutely change your life and it matters a lot more than people like to imagine but you wont be happier if you are still the same person on the inside, there is some stuff that you cant really change and stuff that stays with you for life but just do what you can.
i am not nd in the sense that i am autistic as shit and i cant do anything but i am not nt either, somewhere in the middle. i was so insecure and had such severe body dysmorphia in my early teens that i lived most of my teenage years in regret and anxiety, i considered suicide multiple times and i still do to this day almost every single day, the only reason i keep going are the people around me and waiting to do the things i want to do, i dont remember much but i was blessed to have a better life than most, i had good friends and family around and i was blessed in general, a lot of people dont get to experience that and i hope all the best to them. but slowly as i matured my looks and body in general got much better, i am well above average in most aspects but little changed psychologically as it started getting better. for example, i am in a relationship right now and everything is going very well but i cant help but think that i am never enough for anybody, she doesnt really love me, she is going to find someone better even thought she was the one who started pursuing me for an entire year before i finally got better mentally to start a relationship. i also cant imagine the future for me in general, i always thought that life would just end at like 22, i just know that one day down the line i will eventually go through with it and that is going to be the case. also thinking that i would not live a full happy life for some reason, i wouldnt be able to achieve everything i wanted and i wouldnt be able to live a good life. i dont remember the last time i was really happy and carefree, there is always something that i have to worry about. i know i may be in a better situation than most and i dont want this to seem as complaining but most people are just gonna dnr and make fun of this post but for a few people that actually read this and get my point, i just want to say that please prioritize your mental health, live the life you want to live, do the things you want to do before its too late so you dont regret it in the future, dont want this to seem like a blue pill rant, improving your looks will 100% absolutely change your life and it matters a lot more than people like to imagine but you wont be happier if you are still the same person on the inside, there is some stuff that you cant really change and stuff that stays with you for life but just do what you can.
