Being low-trust looking is terrible.

[TechnoBoss]

the worst is looking low-trust and being agreeable. You can see the visible confusion on peoples face when you start speaking

i feel like for it to work for us, you have to play into the act. but alas it's hard/somewhat cringe to fake it

What does looking low trust yet agreeable look like? Do you has a photo of a celebrity or something who matches the description?

 

[spongebob]

Yeah I agree, you are right. But I think it touches upon what I talk about in this topic that a lot of pressure/expectation is placed on you.

I need to be more assertive with women since they have this expectation of me that I am confident and know what I want (her).
But then I also need to be more assertive with men to make them feel more comfortable with me and constantly remove resentment and other potential fears/pains.
Basically I have to make a constant fight, a constant effort, to remove looks-founded doubts, fears about me. I have to make a constant effort to fullfill expectations, else people will make the worst assumptions about me, based on my looks.

I think right now the struggle I have is that I refuse to accept the role given to me based on my looks. I refuse to explain to people that I can be trusted, that I am trustworthy. I refuse to put in constant effort to make men feel more comfortable around me, to make women feel more appreciated around me.(safe aint an option).

This is a mistake.

I can't afford to be passive with my looks, I have to constantly disprove people's negative assumptions about me.
And this is fine. This is part of life.

I need to adapt to my looks

I agree.
I was given the looks to slay and get ONS. While I only want a relationship.
Be glad with your looks. God has given them to you to make use of it.
You're goodlooking. Just need to change ur mentality.
It's a wasted potential. Others would wish to have what u have bro. Keep being positive.

 

[Klasik616]

There is a massive list of expectations placed on you and your behavior. Many of which will lead to social-rejection when not navigated properly.

I cannot begin to explain how bad it is to live with my looks.

I have the same problem Gaston, I look ogre and I wanna reduce my face width to be more approachable. Low trust face descends you to mtn. I wanna have a flawless skin texture but I'm not a youngcel anymore.

 

[Klasik616]

What does looking low trust yet agreeable look like? Do you has a photo of a celebrity or something who matches the description?

@MoggerGaston show him the Hitman pic

 

[MoggerGaston]

I think you should keep it in the style shown in the photo you uploaded before. I think it makes you look more like a pretty boy than your typical longer style. The lion has shed his mane. I think it’s a failo for men to have longer hairstyles or styles typically associated with females like ponytails and such. Some guys can pull it off but I think women prefer shorter. Not necessarily saying their opinion matters more than what you prefer but I think a shorter style like the way you have to now is good.

mhmmm. I agree with you that longer hairstyles in general are a failo for men, as in most women prefer short hairstyles on men.

But I am not the average guy and my long hairstyle is part of my identity and this is important for me personally and also for the type of women I am trying to attract.
I am telling the world to go fuck itself through my long hair and I am showing a personal identity that is different from what is expected of me. I have noticed that my long-haired look is no longer merely a case of looksmaxxing but also a part of my identity now.

As in: I may look better with shorter hair, but from a personality standpoint I prefer a longer hairstyle. This is conflicting but I think it's a good thing to develop a personal, individual style than to just do 'whatever is the most NT' if you know what I mean. Althought that also clearly has its benefits.

Even at my job I am now required to put my hair in a pony-tail because they deemed my long-curtain hairstyle 'unprofessional'. They deemed my hair too long for it to be styled in a 'wild' way. So I always wear a pony-tail there.

So yeah in the end I am conflicted. My hairstyle is conflicting.

I think the bangs in the front kind of give a pretty boy look. Ideal to bring more of a younger look to yourself imo.

hmm yeah I agree with you, together with a clean-shaven look, it adds youthfullness.

I think your lack of wanting to follow up on possible friendships/relationships could be indicative of other problems you’re facing like a fear of failing or something else. Unless you’re trying to say they just don’t want to hang out or explore a friendship that is deeper than surface level.

It's where my self-esteem issues become crippling:
I can't accept that people would ever like me, because I don't like myself, due to how people have treated me in the past. Something like that.
These negative-beliefs then make me emphasize anything I can find which confirms that belief, and reduce anything which doesn't, like compliments or whatever.
it's easy to describe this issue like this, rationally here. But understand that these beliefs are coupled with extreme emotions of rejection, not feeling welcome, not feeling good enough. These emotions make it too painfull to interact with people on a deeper level.

It doesn't help me to tell me to 'just get over it and force it' or something like that. Because if I could, I would.

You’re a cool enough dude you can find people who like you who want to have a deeper friendship. To be honest with you though most of my friendships are weird. I don’t talk to anyone regularly but I know that even if I don’t message my friends or reach out to them for over a year they will still be my friend when I do decide to reach out.

hmmm yeah I understand you cherish those friendships, but let's be real here. How real is a friendship where you don't talk for over a year?

And that doesn't mean I think you shouldn't cherish these friendships with these people. But I believe you deserve better than that too. I believe you deserve people who check in more often with you are and more involved with your personal life.

I think women need to talk regularly to be friends. Men can go months or years and still pick up where they last left off. Maybe I’m projecting but that’s at-least how I feel. I know you can make good friends that give value to your life and will want to hang out.

I think you have lowered your expectations of what 'friendship' means. Which is fine I think, but then I am worried about what other social-interaction you get.

Which people are involved with you and care about?

 

[MoggerGaston]

Already temple baldness before 30s..

View attachment 3544330

And bro is still thinking whether or not to marry that 6'0 19 year old girl..

im norwood 2.5 tbh.
it's an acquired taste for girls who have a kink for older men. Not necessairily completely over for me yet whatsoever based on norwood scale.

 

[MoggerGaston]

the worst is looking low-trust and being agreeable. You can see the visible confusion on peoples face when you start speaking

i feel like for it to work for us, you have to play into the act. but alas it's hard/somewhat cringe to fake it

This, this so fucking much.
It almost becomes an expectation for you to behave/talk/live in a certain way and anything else is met with weirdness, disbelief, rejection.

People often have beliefs of how I live life, treat girls, etc. And then I have to go against all of that and show my pains and weaknesses which don't allign with what people think of me? Yeah no fucking way.

It's a hard life.

 

[gooner23]

kept telling people if you gonna have a warrior skull gotta have the body with it

 

[fukmylyf]

it's not the low trust, ur just ugly

 

[MoggerGaston]

I agree.
I was given the looks to slay and get ONS. While I only want a relationship.
Be glad with your looks. God has given them to you to make use of it.
You're goodlooking. Just need to change ur mentality.
It's a wasted potential. Others would wish to have what u have bro. Keep being positive.

Yeah, my looks are not the problem I suppose. Just the mentality I developed from my fucked childhood, etc.

 

[MoggerGaston]

kept telling people if you gonna have a warrior skull gotta have the body with it

I mean I have warrior-body so I am golden in that. Got very lucky.

 

[gooner23]

I mean I have warrior-body so I am golden in that. Got very lucky.

what do people expect of you tho do they expect you to like lead a lot of shit

 

[MoggerGaston]

what do people expect of you tho do they expect you to like lead a lot of shit

Depends on the situation, but yes if it's a new/unknown situation, people look at me to tell them what to think/do. And then when I say I don't know, it becomes failed expectations.

Especially in group-context, people expect me to speak for the group. So then when I don't take the lead cuz I am inexperienced or emotionally have no clue, the situation becomes troublesome.

 

[MoggerGaston]

it's not the low trust, ur just ugly