Cope Being Single Beats Bad Relationships—and Even Neutral Ones

eduardkoopman

eduardkoopman

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legit article. People whom had relationships, can attest to the findings, I think



Singlehood may be better than relationships that aren't even particularly bad.
“Single? Well, it is better than being in a bad relationship.” Well-meaning friends and relatives sometimes convey such sentiments to single people. There are even some single people who say the same thing about themselves. But is it true?

New research published online in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin shows that such a sentiment may in fact set the bar far too low. On seven different measures of how people were doing, people in romantic relationships were better off than single people in only one way. On the other six measures, people in romantic relationships did better than single people only if they said their relationships were of the very highest quality.

In other words, single people did better than people in bad romantic relationships. But they also did better than people in romantic relationships that were not that bad at all.

In “The Highs and Lows of Love,” Nathan W. Hudson of Southern Methodist University, and Richard E. Lucas and M. Brent Donnellan of Michigan State University, also describe the emotional experiences of people in romantic relationships when their partner was and was not around. Some of the findings were not at all romantic.

How the Study Was Conducted
Michigan State University conducts a State of the State telephone survey four times a year. Participants who said they were interested in signing up for other studies were sent invitations to take part in this study. The 326 people who answered questions at least two different times were included in the analyses. They ranged in age from 19 to 92; on average, they were 53 years old. Most (86 percent) were white.

The 307 people categorized as “in a romantic relationship” all said that they were in a committed romantic relationship; 271 were married and 7 were engaged. The people categorized as “not in a romantic relationship” (I refer to them as single) included lifelong single people who were not dating and those who were dating casually. Just about all of the divorced and widowed people said they were not dating or only dating casually.

All participants answered 7 sets of questions about how they were doing.

1. Overall positive feelings. The extent to which the participants generally felt happy and satisfied over the past two weeks.

2. Overall negative feelings. The extent to which the participants generally felt frustrated, worried, sad, and angry over the past two weeks.

3. Overall sense of meaning. The extent to which the participants generally felt a sense of meaning over the past two weeks.

4. Positive feelings yesterday. The extent to which the participants felt happy and satisfied while engaging in various activities the day before.

5. Negative feelings yesterday. The extent to which the participants generally felt frustrated, worried, sad, and angry while engaging in various activities the day before.

6. Sense of meaning yesterday. The extent to which the participants generally felt a sense of meaning while engaging in various activities the day before.

7. Life satisfaction. The extent to which participants were satisfied with their lives, as measured by five items (e.g., “I am satisfied with my life”).

The participants who were in committed romantic relationships also rated the quality of those relationships. They were asked how much they agreed with 5 statements, such as “My relationship with my partner makes me happy” and “We have a good relationship.” Ratings were recorded on a scale ranging from 1 (very strongly disagree) to 7 (very strongly agree).

Were the People in Romantic Relationships Doing Better Than the Single People?
The people in committed romantic relationships did not experience more positive feelings—overall or during the previous day—than the single people did. They also did not experience fewer negative feelings or any more of a sense of meaning. They were only doing better in one way: they said they were more satisfied with their lives.

It's possible that they were proud of themselves for being in a romantic relationship, since those relationships are so valued, and perhaps that’s why they were more satisfied with their lives. Compared to single people, though, they did not feel any better emotionally and they did not experience their lives as more meaningful.

One subset of people in romantic relationships were doing better than single people in every way—the coupled people who agreed most strongly with every positive statement about their relationship. In every way, they described their relationship in the most positive terms possible—a 7 on the 7-point scale.

As for the coupled people who gave middle-of-the-scale ratings of their relationships—for example, they neither agreed nor disagreed that their relationship made them happy—they were worse off in every way (either significantly or nearly so) than the people who were single. The truism was also true: being single was better than being in a bad relationship.

Were the Coupled People Happier When Their Partners Were Around?
When the participants were asked about the emotions they experienced during various activities the day before, they were also asked to indicate who (if anyone) they were with each time. That way, the researchers were able to see whether people had more positive experiences when they were with their partner than when their partner wasn’t around.

On average, people in romantic relationships had more positive feelings and a greater sense of meaning when they were with their partner. However, they did not experience fewer negative feelings when their partner was around.

Again, the quality of romantic relationships mattered. People who rated their relationship quality as a little better than neutral (4.4 on the 1-to-7 scale) had more positive feelings when their partner was not present than when their partner was around.

When it came to negative feelings (frustration, worry, sadness, and anger), the results were even more ominous. Even those who rated their romantic relationships as fairly high in quality (5.5 on the 1-to-7 scale) experienced significantly more negative feelings when they were with their partner than when their partner was not around. As the authors concluded:

“Thus, it appears that people who reported anything less than “strongly agreeing” that their relationship was high quality (original scale score = 6) experienced more negative affect while around their partners than when separated from them.”
As is always true of studies like this, we cannot know for sure whether relationship status or quality, or the presence of a romantic partner, caused people to feel more positively or negatively, or whether some other psychological dynamics were involved.

Single People’s Relationships
Most scholars who study romantic relationships refer to what they are studying as “relationships” rather than “romantic relationships.” The implication seems to be that unless you have a romantic relationship, you don’t have any relationships at all—or at least none that matter. In a truly rare occurrence, the authors of this study offered a more enlightened perspective:

“Although theorists have suggested that romantic relationships may be preeminent in determining well-being (e.g., Hazan & Zeifman, 1994), individuals who are not involved in romantic relationships may be able to fulfill their relational needs in a variety of ways (e.g., friendships; see DePaulo, 2005). Future research should offer a more detailed investigation of the social lives of single individuals.”
 
D

Deleted member 1774

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dn rd but i appreciate your effort
 
eduardkoopman

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dn rd but i appreciate your effort
LOL @ at your user name being obsesecel. And then kinda confriming laziness.
To lazy to excercise;
To lazy to read.

Sorry for the hurtfull comment, but it was on my mind and mabe even legit. If legit, I hope you can change it, and shaming is a tactic that might help hopefully.
 
fobos

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Wall of lonely cope
 
godsmistake

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i have negative feelings 24/7.
 
Deleted member 756

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Deleted member 1774

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Sorry for the hurtfull comment, but it was on my mind and mabe even legit. If legit, I hope you can change it, and shaming is a tactic that might help hopefully.
legits me, i dont find fat shaming hurtful so its kinda a double-edged sword
 
eduardkoopman

eduardkoopman

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legits me, i dont find fat shaming hurtful so its kinda a double-edged sword
You, can do it man. Only when you become thin and a bit muscled. Do you know, what the best of your life can be like.
Women have the option of being a fat slob, and still have plenty male chasers. But us men, whom are held against a much harsher stabndard, can't get away with these kind of imperfections like being overweight.
Life as a fat man, is life in extreme hard mode. imo. Get thinner, and this game called life will be on less harsh mode then extreme hard.
 
Saranghae

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I can’t read Hebrew bro. What does it say
 
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Deleted member 275

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Can confirm tbh. Only short term relationships (honeymoon phase) are worth it. Time to get out in the 6-12 months range.
 
FatJattMofo

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this is true. but its also true that itss better to be single than have a good relationship.
because pump and dump >>>> ltr
 
Deleted member 2581

Deleted member 2581

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Your right man

A lot of these dudes are lonely incels who’ve never been in a relationship

they don’t understand being in a relationship especially with a girl you hate is the WORST shit ever. Your stressed out 24/7

having mental peace of mind is more important than anything else.
 
Deleted member 275

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this is true. but its also true that itss better to be single than have a good relationship.
because pump and dump >>>> ltr
pump n dumping club sluts is shit.
 
ldar = cope

ldar = cope

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LOL @ at your user name being obsesecel. And then kinda confriming laziness.
To lazy to excercise;
To lazy to read.

Sorry for the hurtfull comment, but it was on my mind and mabe even legit. If legit, I hope you can change it, and shaming is a tactic that might help hopefully.
please change your avi, or I can never take you serious

or change to this
1546830262487s.jpg
 
Deleted member 616

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Didn’t read. But I’m on monk mode now because there’s no point in LTRing a girl I’m not 100% attracted to. This applies to almost all my past gfs. Not saying that we didn’t have good times but the point is I’ve never been the selector.
 
Chigga

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dn rd but i’d rather get my dick wet sometimes than jack off. Loneliness is kills
 
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Deleted member 1774

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Women have the option of being a fat slob, and still have plenty male chasers.
so i am a fat lesbian woman? lesbians me tbh

i dont care about being thin, it wont grow me my second testicle or make my father disappear lol
 
Looksmaxer-van-NL

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Of course people can only say ''cope'' and nothing else. It goes totally against their world views, that having a foids that ''loves you'' is superiour to all things in life. Clearly, it is disproven again.
Your right man

A lot of these dudes are lonely incels who’ve never been in a relationship

they don’t understand being in a relationship especially with a girl you hate is the WORST shit ever. Your stressed out 24/7

having mental peace of mind is more important than anything else.
Also observable if you actually go out and have friends that have a gf for example, like they are immediately miles happier than the single people, not at all. would almost say on the contrary, some of the shit they put up with just to get roast
Cope , surgery, vydia and weed is the onli wey
Not cope, meditation should be number 1 priority, dont ignore all the studies. Nothing is cope when it is proven by thousands of scientists to make you free from suffering
Try meditation. It detached me a bit from thoughts and feelings.
Good, you're on the right path. The fact that you're a bit detached is a mark of progress. Go on until you fully detach yourself and your mind has an epiphany and becomes free from attachment.
 
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Saranghae

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Legit if you aren’t incel
 
Deleted member 275

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Didn’t read. But I’m on monk mode now because there’s no point in LTRing a girl I’m not 100% attracted to. This applies to almost all my past gfs. Not saying that we didn’t have good times but the point is I’ve never been the selector.
This. Relationships seem like a waste of time unless you are chad tbh.
 
eduardkoopman

eduardkoopman

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Not cope, meditation ......... dont ignore all the studies. Nothing is cope when it is proven by thousands of scientists to make you free from suffering.
Confirmed, to an large extend. I read plenty studies on "benefits" from meditation. To phrase it as "free from suffering" is a bit of an Buddhist approach/wording. In these studies it ofcourse discribed/worded differently.
But it showed for example to lessen stress, strengthen immune system, "mind wandering" diminishing, concentration benefits, and so on.
I don't have time to look, but there are some websites that list the benefits. And they are quite a lot. So deffo worth a try. Especially if you're always feeling bad, or stressed out, or have an very uncontrolled thinking that goes everywhere an thus nowhere, or can't concentrate.
 
Deleted member 275

Deleted member 275

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Why is it not so for mr. Chad?
Because you don't have to make any concessions; you don't have to settle for anything because you can't get the thing you truly want.
 

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