toodeepin0
Iron
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2025
- Posts
- 52
- Reputation
- 28
I dont't expect people to read this, I just need to write about how I feel.
So I'm not saying I'm smart, but sometimes it feels like I'm surrounded by idiots, especially in school. I turned 16 years old in October and I live in Sweden, and I'm relatively too young to be caring about my looks at the level I do. I'm very insecure about my looks and have been since I was like 12 or 13, after getting rejected by a random girl in my class who called me ugly.
I'd say I'm a really introspective person for my age and have been really interested in philosophy lately. School has never been a big problem for me, and my grades have always looked really good. But since I found this forum back in late 2024, I've started to care so much about my looks and it's basically become an addiction. Even though I don't really care about what others think, I think I mainly do this for myself. I have considered peptides like reta to get my fat ass lean or ghkcu for my minor acne, which makes me hate myself every day, but I have convinced myself that peptides are stupid for me at this age because my parents would fr execute me if they found needles in my room, so I'm probably going to wait until I'm 18 for that.
Now back to being surrounded by idiots. Recently, most guys in my class have found out about looksmaxxing, probably because of Clav going mainstream, and it makes me really annoyed because they are all sub50 IQ retards mocking something that I have been obsessed with for most of my teenage years, looks. There are 100 percent different levels of consciousness.
Sometimes I feel really autistic because I'm generally really socially awkward and just can't socialize with people like some of my friends do, and that kind of got me to buy adhd medication Vyvanse, even though I'm not prescribed it. That worked really well at first. All stress was gone when I was having a conversations with people like normal people and everything was perfect. I started taking them daily, to a point where I felt like a zombie. That's where it all started going downward.
Since those medications make me lose all appetite, I basically starved myself thinking they would make me lose fat, but all they did was make me feel awful and make me skinny fat since I don't have a lot of muscle mass. I ran out of the adhd meds like three months ago and I don't plan on buying stimulants anymore. After that, I did some experiments with psychedelics, and they have really made me think differently. I'm not sure if looks really matter to me anymore since I've been with the same girl for almost three years now, and I really think she is the one. I might be delusional, but that's something I'm willing to believe for my own mental health.
I've been through a lot as a kid, and I'm just tired. I don't know what I want to do once I finish school, even though I have the highest grade in my class and the most knowledge. I taught myself programming back in 2020, and that might be the reason why I'm good at math and reasoning. But I'm still at a point in my life where I just feel lost, or like I have no purpose.
So I'm not saying I'm smart, but sometimes it feels like I'm surrounded by idiots, especially in school. I turned 16 years old in October and I live in Sweden, and I'm relatively too young to be caring about my looks at the level I do. I'm very insecure about my looks and have been since I was like 12 or 13, after getting rejected by a random girl in my class who called me ugly.
I'd say I'm a really introspective person for my age and have been really interested in philosophy lately. School has never been a big problem for me, and my grades have always looked really good. But since I found this forum back in late 2024, I've started to care so much about my looks and it's basically become an addiction. Even though I don't really care about what others think, I think I mainly do this for myself. I have considered peptides like reta to get my fat ass lean or ghkcu for my minor acne, which makes me hate myself every day, but I have convinced myself that peptides are stupid for me at this age because my parents would fr execute me if they found needles in my room, so I'm probably going to wait until I'm 18 for that.
Now back to being surrounded by idiots. Recently, most guys in my class have found out about looksmaxxing, probably because of Clav going mainstream, and it makes me really annoyed because they are all sub50 IQ retards mocking something that I have been obsessed with for most of my teenage years, looks. There are 100 percent different levels of consciousness.
Sometimes I feel really autistic because I'm generally really socially awkward and just can't socialize with people like some of my friends do, and that kind of got me to buy adhd medication Vyvanse, even though I'm not prescribed it. That worked really well at first. All stress was gone when I was having a conversations with people like normal people and everything was perfect. I started taking them daily, to a point where I felt like a zombie. That's where it all started going downward.
Since those medications make me lose all appetite, I basically starved myself thinking they would make me lose fat, but all they did was make me feel awful and make me skinny fat since I don't have a lot of muscle mass. I ran out of the adhd meds like three months ago and I don't plan on buying stimulants anymore. After that, I did some experiments with psychedelics, and they have really made me think differently. I'm not sure if looks really matter to me anymore since I've been with the same girl for almost three years now, and I really think she is the one. I might be delusional, but that's something I'm willing to believe for my own mental health.
I've been through a lot as a kid, and I'm just tired. I don't know what I want to do once I finish school, even though I have the highest grade in my class and the most knowledge. I taught myself programming back in 2020, and that might be the reason why I'm good at math and reasoning. But I'm still at a point in my life where I just feel lost, or like I have no purpose.
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