Being trapped in my head is hell

[JimmyDreamsOfZygos]

I hate how much anxiety just randomly hits me, I’m too old to be acting this retarded and my smoking tolerance went down so I can’t self-medicate until I can take a hit without disintegrating for the rest of the day. I’m sitting down in a calm setting and my minds got me stressed like I’m stalking a boar that I’m gonna mutilate and eat. One thing I was never to fix, unless I get medicated I will always be this neurotic.

If I get stopped in public by somebody I know and I’m not fully mentally prepared, I drop all my spaghetti and just drown in the conversation it’s like 50/50 my heart rate is gonna be high asf and I can’t think of shit to say. I wish I could be chill sober.

And my old defense mechanisms of being fake tough doesn’t work either because I’m not autistic to the point where I’m gonna mean mug people Im only gonna see once when I just can’t told a regular conversation.

Over for ever being NT, I’ve accepted my 20% schizoid curse.

 

[Kroker]

Brutal.

I know it firsthand, over consumption of cannabis wrecked havoc on my neurotransmitters especially Cortisol & Norepinephrine.

I take antidepressants (ikr), and if I smoke I get that schizoid feeling of as you just described it "disintegration", I feel horrible.

The constant elevated levels of norepinephrine & cortisol are being the culprit of my body constantly trapped into the flight, fight, freeze and fawn reaction.

Hopefully after I finish this course of antidepressants I'll get back to normal.

I'll never ever touch cannabis & drugs in general again.

Not everybody can handle these stuff

 

[JimmyDreamsOfZygos]

Brutal.

I know it firsthand, over consumption of cannabis wrecked havoc on my neurotransmitters especially Cortisol & Norepinephrine.

I take antidepressants (ikr), and if I smoke I get that schizoid feeling of as you just described it "disintegration", I feel horrible.

The constant elevated levels of norepinephrine & cortisol are being the culprit of my body constantly trapped into the flight, fight, freeze and fawn reaction.

Hopefully after I finish this course of antidepressants I'll get back to normal.

I'll never ever touch cannabis & drugs in general again.

Not everybody can handle these stuff

You understand lol. I was considering anti-anxiety meds but maybe antidepressants could help too. I was a spaz before I ever smoked though so idk what would make a difference. Have you had any negative side effects?