D
Deleted member 45581
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- Sep 22, 2023
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I (35M) met my fiance (32F) about 3 years ago - she is smart, charismatic, and overall a good partner. I'm genuinely in love with her and really haven't felt this way about anyone else before - which is perhaps why i'm in so much turmoil over this situation.
Prior to August, my old roommate and I had not seen each other in perhaps 5 years. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that as we've grown older and moved to different parts of the country, life just hasn't given us the same opportunities to hang out like before. A couple months ago he messaged me and told me he'd be in town over night in mid August and I offered him a guest bedroom for that one night. My old roommate is a great guy and attractive; he's tall, muscular, well groomed, well spoken, and personable.
The night he stayed over was pretty surreal for me. From the moment my fiance laid eyes on him, it was like a new side of her was unlocked. Her face lit up like in a way i'd never seen before and she was absolutely star struck. I had never seen her like this before in all 3 years of knowing her. The entire evening she seemed practically mesmerized with him. Nothing happened between them and he didn't seem to respond to it at all, but the one sided chemical attraction from my fiance was immense. I get it, he's an attractive guy, but I realize I would give almost anything to have her look at me like that even once.
Marriages are long and keeping that feeling over many decades is practically impossible, but I would give the world to be on the receiving end of that kind of attention from the woman i'm engaged to just once. I didn't even know she was capable of it. Since then, I've become more aware that i'm a good safe choice to settle with. I'm not really what someone is excited to pick with all the options in the world available, but I'm responsible, stable, and make several times the median household income in my area. There is nothing I can do to be more and be that guy, but I have started to realize that I can't go through life accepting less.
I still love my fiance, but if I can't make her feel that way, and experience that reaction from her, then maybe I would be better suited breaking things off.
Prior to August, my old roommate and I had not seen each other in perhaps 5 years. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that as we've grown older and moved to different parts of the country, life just hasn't given us the same opportunities to hang out like before. A couple months ago he messaged me and told me he'd be in town over night in mid August and I offered him a guest bedroom for that one night. My old roommate is a great guy and attractive; he's tall, muscular, well groomed, well spoken, and personable.
The night he stayed over was pretty surreal for me. From the moment my fiance laid eyes on him, it was like a new side of her was unlocked. Her face lit up like in a way i'd never seen before and she was absolutely star struck. I had never seen her like this before in all 3 years of knowing her. The entire evening she seemed practically mesmerized with him. Nothing happened between them and he didn't seem to respond to it at all, but the one sided chemical attraction from my fiance was immense. I get it, he's an attractive guy, but I realize I would give almost anything to have her look at me like that even once.
Marriages are long and keeping that feeling over many decades is practically impossible, but I would give the world to be on the receiving end of that kind of attention from the woman i'm engaged to just once. I didn't even know she was capable of it. Since then, I've become more aware that i'm a good safe choice to settle with. I'm not really what someone is excited to pick with all the options in the world available, but I'm responsible, stable, and make several times the median household income in my area. There is nothing I can do to be more and be that guy, but I have started to realize that I can't go through life accepting less.
I still love my fiance, but if I can't make her feel that way, and experience that reaction from her, then maybe I would be better suited breaking things off.
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