Deliver_me
Iron
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2026
- Posts
- 31
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- 34
I think in some way we all feel this.
I rarely look in the mirror or in a camera, but when I do, I bite my cheeks or alter myself in some way. I never truly see what I look like.
But sometimes I completely let go and just look at myself. I honestly don't even recognize myself. like in my head I have this image of what I want to look like, and even though i am not there yet and imagine myself as not to far off...
But when I really see myself, it's like reality breaking.
I think about alter egos, often characters with different personas. And how in media its like that's their true self. Think walter white and Heisenberg and Bruce Wayne and Batman.
like the the alter ego is just them without any chains or masks. I think the same applies to a lot of people and me here.
being shy or insecure isn't a personality trait its a wall, that stops you from being fully present.
Thats what I hope to achieve with all of this after all these steroids and surgeries and months of work. I hope eventaully and can look in the mirror it being excatly what i pictured in my mind.
People often joke, saying welcome to your new life after someone ascended, " but I dont think thats dramatic at all, and really its true, you become an entirely different person you no longer operate from insecurity, or submission, or fear. You operate at you highest level.
lots of typos, didnt write a draft or anything, anyways hope this made sense.
Tomorrow is my bimax consultation, so I will hopefully get enough information to plan out the next few months.
Best-case scenario I am a surgery-first candidate or I only have to wear braces for no longer than 3-6 months.
I rarely look in the mirror or in a camera, but when I do, I bite my cheeks or alter myself in some way. I never truly see what I look like.
But sometimes I completely let go and just look at myself. I honestly don't even recognize myself. like in my head I have this image of what I want to look like, and even though i am not there yet and imagine myself as not to far off...
But when I really see myself, it's like reality breaking.
I think about alter egos, often characters with different personas. And how in media its like that's their true self. Think walter white and Heisenberg and Bruce Wayne and Batman.
like the the alter ego is just them without any chains or masks. I think the same applies to a lot of people and me here.
being shy or insecure isn't a personality trait its a wall, that stops you from being fully present.
Thats what I hope to achieve with all of this after all these steroids and surgeries and months of work. I hope eventaully and can look in the mirror it being excatly what i pictured in my mind.
People often joke, saying welcome to your new life after someone ascended, " but I dont think thats dramatic at all, and really its true, you become an entirely different person you no longer operate from insecurity, or submission, or fear. You operate at you highest level.
lots of typos, didnt write a draft or anything, anyways hope this made sense.
Tomorrow is my bimax consultation, so I will hopefully get enough information to plan out the next few months.
Best-case scenario I am a surgery-first candidate or I only have to wear braces for no longer than 3-6 months.
